Love Realized (41 page)

When Jake lifted his head, his gaze met hers, and she couldn’t help but fall under the spell he was weaving. He cupped both of her cheeks and held her there as he pressed his lips against hers. Tenderly kissing her, once, twice, before pulling back and meeting her gaze again and whispering the same words again. “Our child.”

She couldn’t help but smile at the warmth she heard in his words and the sincerity so clear on his face. “Gillian, I need to hold you. Can I try and sit next to you, or would that cause you pain?”

Gillian couldn’t think of anything she wanted more at that very moment than to be held by this man, so she nodded. Jake carefully helped her scoot over, which didn’t cause her any pain since they had her shoulder and arm strapped to her body. Once there was enough room, he cautiously set his big body in the space next to her. When he moved a pillow behind her injured shoulder, she leaned forward allowing his arm to slip behind her, which not only provided support, but gave her the ability to lean into him. She sighed and relaxed into his embrace as he rested his other hand across her stomach, kissed her on top of the head, and said, “Rest, beautiful. You need to rest.”

And rest she did. Gillian wasn’t sure how long she lay there in Jake’s embrace, but she knew she must have nodded off for a little while. It could’ve been five minutes or even five hours later, she had no clue. All she knew was that she was safe and sound, and secure in his arms … exactly where she belonged. She figured it must be a slightly uncomfortable position he was in, perched on the side of a bed like that, but she didn’t want to move. She took in a deep breath of his scent, to replace that of the hospital type smells that were all around her, before lifting her head to look at him. He smiled down at her, “Do you know how much I love that you were able to relax against me and rest? Especially since you needed it so badly.”

She answered his smile with one of her own, saying, “Do you know how much I love resting against you? It’s my home; it’s like my drug. Who needs Valium when I have Jake?”

“I feel the same way about you, beautiful. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” He kissed her lips again before he let out a sigh and said, “And as much as I would like to keep you all to myself, I fear the rest of the family will be barging down that door anytime now to see you. It’s really all your fault, though. If you would just be mean or nasty to them every once in a while, maybe you wouldn’t have to put up with them all the time.”

She snorted a small laugh at that and was about to deliver her own snarky comment when a knock sounded on the door. Jake gave her a knowing look and said, “Told you so. Any bets on who’s coming through that door first? My money’s on Allie.”

Gillian smiled because Jake was probably correct. If it was anyone other than Allie she would be shocked. “I don’t take bets I know I'm going to lose, Jake Michaels. What kind of fool do you take me for?” she said to him as another knock sounded against the door. She laughed and said, “Oh yeah, it’s definitely Allie. Better go let her in before she gets really worked up.”

Jake laughed and said, “She can open the door with her own two hands. I'm not getting up from this position ‘til you’re strong enough to push me out of this bed.” He smiled and then told whoever was behind the door to come in. Sure enough, it swung open with determination, and in came Allie saying, “Jeez, Jake. Hog Gillian much? I have a new superhero name for you now, but I'm just going to get the shirt made instead of telling you.”

Jake huffed out a laugh next to Gillian at Allie, “Bring it on, Al.”

Gillian smiled at the banter between the two of them, but she was surprised to see Madison had followed Allie in. The smile fell from her lips when she could see that her daughter had been crying. Not that her daughter wasn’t a sensitive person—it had just been a while since her daughter showed her any emotion other than a nasty attitude. Once again cursing the fact that she couldn’t rush to the person she loved, she took her good arm and nudged Jake off the bed.

Jake didn’t question her; she knew he figured it out. He gently got up, and Gillian raised her hand to beckon her daughter closer. After a moment of hesitation, Madison started crying and moved toward her. Gillian felt like she was coaxing a scared animal, afraid it would run off and disappear when all she wanted to do was touch it. When Madison was standing next to the bed, Gillian was dying inside at the sight of her tears, so she just patted the open space next to her. Madison, still quiet, carefully sat down and laid her head in her mother’s lap. All Gillian could do was console her daughter by stroking her hands through the long, dark, wavy strands so similar to her own and say, “I'm okay, sweetie. I'm fine, I promise.”

Madison just stayed there and wrapped her arms around Gillian’s legs and relaxed. It was almost surreal to her to see her daughter like this, and she knew this was probably as close to an apology as she going to get. Well, it was good enough for her. She looked up to Allie and Jake, as they watched the exchange with a look of awe on their faces. Apparently, Gillian wasn’t the only one who was aware of her daughter’s animosity toward her.

She smiled at them and said, “Well, this one isn’t going anywhere, so see if you can sneak in another one for me to see.” With a nod, Allie went to retrieve another, and Jake took up the seat next to her bed. The rest of her family came through and left, all while Madison stayed curled up with her head in Gillian’s lap. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

After three long days in the hospital, Jake was finally able to take Gillian home. He knew she was way past ready to get out of there, but he assumed that the doctor was keeping her longer than necessary. The doctor and the rest of his staff clearly had cared a little more for Gillian than their average patient, and even though she wanted out of there, he was glad they kept such a close eye on her. Her shoulder was feeling better every day, but she still had lots of recovery time ahead of her. Jake was thankful that her body wasn’t showing any signs of aborting the pregnancy, which the doctor said was a normal risk for any woman, let alone a woman who had experienced the trauma that she did.

He recalled the long conversation he had with Gillian about making sure she didn’t disregard any possible symptom, as far as her pain or healing process. Jake wasn’t an idiot, and his training told him that if she were to start cramping, there was nothing that could be done to save the pregnancy. And damn, did he want to make sure nothing happened to it. It was hard not to get excited about the pregnancy; just the fact that she conceived when she wasn’t supposed to be able to told Jake that it was meant to be. But he knew the risks, so for now, he would take it one day at a time.

Jake had everything prepared for her homecoming and was just getting back to the hospital with a change of clothes that Allie had packed for her. He still had a little anxiety over being away from her, but felt she was in good hands since the nursing staff barely took their eyes off her. If she hadn’t specifically requested the items he carried with him now, he wouldn’t have left her at all. Fortunately, that special treatment Gillian was getting as a patient here rolled over to him as well. Since he wouldn’t leave her at night, they brought in a bed for him to sleep on—not that he wouldn’t have just slept on the floor, or even standing in the corner, if he had to. He wasn’t joking with her when he said that he didn’t want to let her out of his sight.

When he closed his eyes, he could still see what she looked like covered in blood as she sat propped up against that wall. A cold shiver worked its way up his spine as he threw himself back to that moment, but he quickly shook it off. Yeah, he knew that image would stay with him for a while to come, but it had only happened three days ago—it was still too fresh. Until he got over that, he would just have to stay as close to her as possible.

Once arriving on her floor, his anticipation increased as he stepped off the elevator. Turning the corner toward her room, he found Logan sitting in a chair outside her door—in the same position he had been in each and every time he came to the hospital with the kids. He was hunched to the side, somber expression on his face, his chin resting in one hand. Jake hadn’t heard him speak since the shooting, not that Jake was seeking him out for full conversations or anything.

No, as much as Jake wanted to inflict pain on the guy for everything that had happened, he knew he didn’t have to. Logan was punishing himself enough. He knew that his actions set what happened to Gillian in motion. Why attack a man when he was already at rock bottom? As Jake approached, Logan looked up and made eye contact with him, then immediately looked down. Jake didn’t like seeing his friend look like this, but there really wasn’t anything he could do about it; he would have to work that out on his own. However, he did need to address the issue that Logan had yet to see Gillian, and she was asking about him. She was worried about Logan, therefore, Jake was going to try and do something to help alleviate her worry.

Pulling up the chair next to Logan, Jake set her bag down on the floor beside it before taking a seat. Logan didn’t say anything to him—just kept his head down. It was the first time that Jake noticed the man hadn’t shaved in days and pretty much looked like shit. Shaking his head at that he asked, “You go in and see her yet?”

Logan sighed and shook his head in response. Jake didn’t like the fact that Logan would worry Gillian even more if she saw him like this, so he decided it was time to try and snap Logan out this mood. “Good, ‘cause you look like shit man. When was the last time you showered and shaved? You can’t go in and see her like this, looking like that.”

Turning his attention toward Jake, Logan finally spoke, “I'm not going in to see her, so don’t worry about it.”

“Why did you come here if you weren’t going in to see her?”

“The kids. I brought Madison here to be with her.”

“Okay, good. Now go home, clean yourself up, and get back over to her place so she can see that you’re okay,” Jake demanded of him.

Logan looked surprised by Jake’s order and asked, “What? Why?”

The desire to smack the man he had known since high school was hard to control as Jake realized he had to spell it out for the guy. Once again shaking his head at the man, “You know for someone who was married to her for as long as you were, you sure don’t know her, do you?”

Jake could see the heat and anger rise in Logan’s eyes as he absorbed what Jake said. He was glad that he had another expression other than pathetic—this version of him was easier to tolerate. So it didn’t bother Jake when Logan growled at him, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Jake?”

“It means that if you knew Gillian at all, you would know that she‘s been worried about you, and if she saw you like this, it would only upset her more. Now quit being a selfish asshole and snap the fuck out of it! Go home, clean up, and come over to see her. Your front door is now fifty yards from her front door, so the effort is minimal.”

Logan slumped down in his chair, but Jake wasn’t sure why. After a few moments of silence, Logan said in a low, pained voice as he hung his head again, “I don’t deserve to see her, Jake. I know that. So I'm not going to pretend that I belong anywhere within ten feet of her.”

“I'm not going to argue with you there, man; you don’t deserve to be within ten feet of Gillian. You’re lucky that my desire to physically harm you has lessened over the past three days. Partially because I can see that you are well aware of how at fault you are, but that’s just about us. This needs to be about Gillian. She wants to see you; she wants to know you’re all right. You know that she worries about her family, and just because you aren’t her husband anymore, doesn’t change the fact that you were. So pull your head out of your ass for a minute and see that this is about
her,
not you.”

Jake couldn’t see Logan’s face, but he assumed he was processing what Jake said. It was irritating to think he had to convince him that he needed to suck it up for Gillian, so he brought out the big guns. “You owe me this, man.”

Once again, Logan turned to Jake with a look of surprise and confusion. Jake had no qualms with throwing this out at him. “I'm sure you know by now that I love that woman in there. A woman who happens to be pregnant with my child …” Jake paused and lowered his voice to express more of the anger he was feeling about the subject, “… and that pregnancy is now in jeopardy because of your indiscretions. She was fucking shot because of you, and now I risk losing a child that I never even thought was possible. So … you fucking owe me.”

He could see in Logan’s eyes the moment realization dawned on him. With a complete shift in his expression, Logan nodded his head and stood up. Jake picked up the bag from the floor and faced his old friend; one he hoped could be his friend again in the future. They stood there silently staring at each other before Jake said, “We’ll take Madison home with us. You go get cleaned up and come over. I'm pretty sure Sean, Morgan, and Allie will already be there with the kids.”

Logan just nodded his head again and turned to head toward the elevators. Just to make sure the guy came over later, Jake added, “I’ll be sure to tell her that you’ll be there.”

Logan threw a one- sided smile over his shoulder and said, “I'm sure you will.” And then he disappeared around the corner.

Not wanting to waste another second, Jake made his way into Gillian’s room. He laughed at the sight of Madison standing on top of the hospital bed, above her mother. She was apparently trying to do her mother’s hair. When they heard him, Madison turned and explained herself. “It’s the only way I felt I could work with all this hair without hurting her shoulder.”