Love Resisted (Entwined Hearts #2) (24 page)

Con had been by to fill us in. Pea was sleeping. She would need to stay in for at least a week to recover from the blood loss and apparently her body went into shock, so she needed time after the caesarean operation. He visited their daughter and said she was beautiful. She had a feeding tube and needed oxygen, which was worrying him. She was little too, just three and a half pounds. He said Pea would be able to visit her tomorrow and then they would choose her name together. He asked after Soph, and Dane told him there was no news. I couldn’t speak. He went back to Pea and said he’d talk to me tomorrow. That was nearly four hours ago. Still no news on Soph.

“She’ll be fine,” Dane says beside me, bringing me out of my internal meltdown. I nod, but I’m not feeling it. I’m too worked up, scared of the possibilities. “She’s a fighter, you know that,” he says and I snap.

“I
know,
Dane, I fucking know what she is! You don’t have to tell me. I know that woman better than any fucking one of us. She’s the strongest, toughest, kindest most loving, and amazing woman in the fucking universe and she’s my world…my heart. What the fuck would I do without her, Dane? Huh? What the fuck am I without her? I’m nothing without her beside me making me something, making me more than I am,” I shout and close my eyes. “I’m nothing without her. I can’t lose her, Dane. I just…I can’t…” I trial off and that’s the moment I break down. Every chain holding my fragile walls together breaks. Every moment with Soph from five-years-old until now flashes through my head. Every smile, laugh, wink, every kiss…everything. And I sit in that waiting room, not knowing what has happened to the centre of my world, sobbing into my brother’s chest as he holds me like a baby.

“Saul, Saul.” I feel pushing against my upper arm and my eyes shoot open. Dane is calling my name and I’m in a hospital waiting room. Everything comes back to me so quick, it slams a thousand miles an hour into my chest.

Soph.

As everything returns, I jolt so hard in my chair that it scrapes the floor and is propelled backward.

“The doctor, Saul,” Dane says pointing his hand at the man in front of me that I’d somehow missed.

“Doc?” I ask immediately standing.

“Are you here for Sophie Rawlings?” he asks softly. I find myself nodding without realising. “Please come with me so we can talk,” he says and I just can’t move.

“Come on brother,” Dane says gently pushing me forward, his hand on my shoulder. I look at the doctor and he looks at me with pity.

I don’t want fucking pity.

We walk a few feet until we come to a small room, a family room. I don’t think I want to go in there. Nothing good comes from going into these rooms.

“Let’s sit down,” the doctor says.

He better tell me she’s okay.

“When Ms. Rawlings—”

“Soph,” I cut him off and he looks at me. “She hates her surname, just call her Soph.”

He nods at my request. “When
Soph
was brought in she was unstable. She had a shoulder wound and another deep stab wound in her lower right abdomen area. She’d lost a lot of blood, over forty percent. The surgeon did everything he could—”

“Stop,” I shout jumping up and Dane jumps up next to me. The doctor is swimming in my vision now and I can feel my body shaking. “Don’t tell me she’s gone.” I fall to my knees in front of the doctor and place my hands together in a prayer-like stance. “Please don’t tell me she’s dead, Doc. I don’t think I could handle it,” I beg and plead dropping my head and watching my tears splash on the floor.

“Mr.—”

“His name is Saul,” Dane tells the doctor.

“Saul, Soph isn’t dead,” he tells me and I snap my head up to him, not knowing whether to kiss him, laugh, sing or jump around. My body just stays solid, stock still. It’s like I’ve ceased to function. I was so sure he was going to tell me I’d lost her. There was so much blood. I wipe my eyes with the bottom of my palms and try to stop snivelling like a girl.

Soph would slap me.
That thought is the first thing to bring a smile to my face in hours.

“Why did you bring us in here, Doc?” Dane asks what I can’t.

“Because she has survived, but she has suffered a lot of damage. I know you’ve been waiting for information for hours. But I didn’t feel it appropriate to have this conversation in front of other patients,” he answers waving his hand in the direction of the waiting room.

I move back and pull myself up into the chair. “Tell me everything, Doc?” I ask him feeling less shaky.

“When she came in, I’ll be honest it was touch and go. However, Ms. Rawlings…Soph is a fighter.”

I nod at his words.
My baby is a fighter.

“We had to give her a lot of blood while we were trying to stop the bleeding, then some more after we had finally stopped it. All her sats dropped and her breathing became laboured as well as her body going into shock. The shoulder was, unfortunately, a worse wound than we had hoped, so the surgeon had to repair the damage to the tendons and blood vessels. She will have to have physical therapy for that, and it will probably be about four months until it’s fully healed,” he tells me.

“She’s a dancer,” I say out loud almost to myself and he gives me a sympathetic look.

“I can’t say whether she’ll ever be able to use that arm in the same way. It may be possible that the dancing portion of her life, unless just for her own pleasure, is over I’m afraid.”

I close my eyes and hang my head. “She’s going to be crushed,” I murmur feeling the pain in my chest as if it’s my own.

“Saul, I need to talk to you about something else.” I look back to him alert now, wondering what other blow he’s about to land. “You’re her fiancé, right?” he asks and I know it’s a white lie that I told the receptionist, but it’s gonna happen so I might as well go with it.” I nod again and he sighs, his shoulders dropping.

This can’t be good.

“I haven’t spoken to the police yet. They are the next stop for me unless I have another emergency to attend to. I wouldn’t usually offer this information to a family member as the police would pass this on, however, in these circumstances it’s essential to explain.”

“Doc,” Dane growls, I’d almost forgotten he was there. The doctor looks over at him then back to me.

“Whoever did this to her has some medical knowledge, maybe even surgical. I obviously cannot say in what capacity they have gained their skills. I can only say that of this information I am sure. I consulted with the surgeon to ascertain a secondary opinion, but the wound to Soph’s right side was too perfectly placed for someone who has absolutely no idea what they are doing.” He stops to assess me, but I want him to spit it out.

“Your meaning, doc?” I snap.

“He severed her right fallopian tube.”

His words are repeating over and over in my head. Like my brain is trying to piece them together to form a sentence that it can understand. And I know the moment it slots into place because I feel like I have a car sitting on my chest. It takes everything in me to speak.

“She hasn’t got a left fallopian tube. Ectopic pregnancy,” I gasp and he nods.

“There are ways to have children, IVF, where the egg is placed straight into the womb. But you should know. This person didn’t want to kill her, he wanted her to suffer. I’m sorry to bear this news to you, but I have no idea when Soph will wake. Of course, I will be relaying all this information to her, but if you want to go and sit with her you may. She is sedated at the moment, we’ll probably keep her that way for another twenty-four to forty-eight hours depending on how she’s healing and then allow her to come around naturally.”

I nod and stand not wanting to chat anymore, instead wanting to just get to my girl.

Dane stands up next to me. “I’m gonna try and speak to Con, let him know what’s happened. I will head back to the house, check on things then I’ll return tomorrow. I assume you’re staying with Soph?” he questions.

“Fuck yeah,” I answer following the doc.

Wow! My head hurts and my mouth feels like I have a cotton wool ball in it.

I try to open my eyes, but they feel sticky. I move to bring my hand up to my face, but the pain from my shoulder burns through my body. Then bang, just like that images flash into my head. Patrick, stabbing me, hitting Pea, and her lying unconscious on the floor surrounded by blood. Then the final blow the one that makes me feel sick. He stabbed me again. I remember his words, he said he wanted to prevent me from having children.

What am I going to tell Saul?

I know I said before that there was a chance I’d never be able to have children, but this is pretty much a definite now. Every part of me aches, outside and inside, physically and emotionally.

I want to give up, to slip back into the darkness that has held me for however long I’ve been out of it.

Maybe it would be better to never wake up?

I feel movement from my side and panic. I can’t seem to move.

Shit, what if Patrick’s still got me.

Then I hear some clicking and a song starts. ‘Mirrors’ by Justin Timberlake. I feel a warm hand wrap around mine and relax as I smell Saul’s masculine scent surrounding me.

“Babe, I know you can’t hear me, but I need you to wake up now. It’s been two days since I’ve seen your beautiful eyes. But shit, it feels like a whole lot longer. I can’t live without you and it's killing me just having you here, but gone all at the same time. I feel numb baby, I need your warmth back. I need your smile. I need your laugh. I just need you. Just you. Listen to the song, wherever you are, and just know that this is how I feel about you baby. You’re everything I will ever need and everything I want. Please come back to me, angel.”

I can feel my eyes welling up, but I still can’t move. I just want to tell him it’s all right, that I’m here and I love him. I listen to the song and then the blackness pulls me in again.

Sweet release.

I can hear people mumbling. No, they’re talking, I think it’s just my head that’s fuzzy. I can make out Saul and another voice. Dane. That’s Dane talking with him. I try to open my eye and manage one, although the room is blurry. I can see them talking to each other, their backs are to me. I pry the other eye open and try to adjust to the light. I mentally assess myself.

Patrick hurt me.

He hurt Pea.

I’m in the hospital.

Okay, I need to just breathe for a minute. Everything will be fine. Be brave.

“You need to at least go back to the house and sleep. You’ve been here for three days, Saul. Even Con went back to sleep.”

“Yeah, well, Con can do what the fuck he wants. Pea is awake and speaking to him.”

I feel a weight lift from his words knowing Pea is okay. That was all I was trying to do was make sure she was all right when we were stuck in that room. “He gets to hold his daughter every day.”

I feel the weight slam back down and I close my eyes feeling the emotion overtake me.

“I have yet to wait for Soph to wake up. I’m lost without her brother.”