Love Rock'ollection: The Brutal Strength Rock Star Trilogy, books 1-3 (13 page)

“I think there’s quite a lot you’re editing out.” He ran his hands through his hair. “How old were you when you and Justin left?”

“Sixteen.” Her brow creased. “The week before our birthday was the worst he’d ever been. For some reason he’d become increasingly irrational around that time. He… um…” She cleared her throat. “The night we left he started saying a lot of hateful things. Justin called him out on it. My father went nuts, but he laid into me, instead of Justin. He busted a couple of my ribs before Justin pulled him off. My father hit him on the head with a beer bottle. When I saw the blood pouring down my brother’s face, I panicked and jumped on my father’s back. He threw me off, and I hit my head so hard on the coffee table that it knocked me out.”

“Damn. Avery! Shit!” Marcus leapt to his feet and started pacing back and forth as if searching for an outlet to vent his emotions. “The rotten bastard. I can’t believe a father would treat his own children that way. If he was here, I would drop him on his sorry ass!”

His raised voice, his clenched fists, and the implication of violence, brought up all of the long dormant emotions. Avery felt like the helpless victim all over again. She backed into the corner of the sectional, unconsciously drawing her legs to her chest to make herself a smaller target.

Marcus glanced at his guitarist, and then down at his fists, evidently surprised by the vehemence of his own response. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath before sitting back down. His expression recalcitrant, Marcus gently tapped Avery’s knee. “I’m sorry, kid.”

Avery lifted up her head, giving him a tremulous smile. “Sorry you asked?”

“No. No, I’m not, Ace.” His expression turned earnest. “It’s not the things that happen to us that make us who we are, but how we react to them, right? Looking at you, at the man you turned out to be despite everything, well, I think you should be very proud. All I see is strength and resilience when I look at you.”

Hearing those heart spoken words, the tears Avery had been holding in started sliding down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around herself. Shame had always kept her silent, but now having told Marcus, she felt strangely relieved as if the burden of the past had been lifted somewhat.

Marcus was quiet while watching her face and the tears that silently slid down her cheeks. His eyes shone with empathy and something softer she couldn’t quite name.

“Sorry, I lost it.” Avery swiped at the tears that clung to her lashes.

“Like I’m the king of self-control.” Marcus snorted. “We’re good. Everything’s cool.” It had been a particularly hellacious type of torture to sit there and not be able to do anything but watch while Avery cried. A sudden idea made him stand abruptly. “Hold on a second, Ace. I’ll be right back.”

Marcus passed behind the sectional and disappeared down the hall. When he returned he held his acoustic guitar in one hand and his Les Paul electric in the other. He handed the Les Paul to Avery. He found it therapeutic to play whenever something upset him. Maybe it might work the same way with Avery.

Avery reverentially cradled the Les Paul on her lap. It was a beautiful instrument. Flame maple with a tobacco sunburst finish. She adjusted the strap, and bowed her head immediately over the frets to play.

Marcus sat down and just watched Avery play for a minute. The kid was so young to have been through so much. He felt guilty. His own life had been a cakewalk in comparison. Satisfied to see the tension finally draining from Avery’s face and shoulders, he lowered his head and started to strum on his own guitar.

Marcus lost track of how long they played, separately at first, but then inevitably together as they complemented one another. He couldn’t say that he was surprised. There was a bond that had formed between them. He’d felt it from the first meeting, and it was continuing to grow stronger.
Because of the music,
he told himself, not wanting to acknowledge anything further. He began humming a melody, and Avery started singing the chorus she had written for “Siren Call.” He smiled, “I like that. What do you think?”

“It’s good. It has a kind of a bleak feel to it that works, but I’m stuck on the rest of the lyrics. My experience with drugs is kind of second hand.” She shrugged.

He laughed self-deprecatingly. “Ok. Unfortunately, that’s something I can help with. What do you want to know?”

“Tell me what happened. I really don’t understand how someone like you…”

He cut her off. “Someone like me… what?”

“Would be willing to give up control like that.”

“It’s that obvious, huh?”

“Yeah, duh.” Avery made a face.

“I guess for me that was part of the allure. I thought the drugs would help me relax and make things more fun. At least that’s the lie I told myself. And sure, when I was totally wasted, I wasn’t worried about anything else, really. But something I didn’t count on was how the drugs shut me down completely, even creatively… These songs I’ve written with you are the first ones I’ve been able to write in over a year.”

Avery stopped scribbling down notes and stared at him with apparent disbelief.

“Yeah, Ace. I know. When music’s an obsession, as important as breathing, the way it is for guys like us, that’s reason enough to stay sober. I hope you stay away from the stuff, even though it’s considered socially acceptable in our business. I thought I was strong enough that I could say no at any time and get out, but I was wrong. Once that shit gets its hooks into you, it’s almost impossible to break loose.”

“And sometimes you never do… like Justin.”

“What happened to your brother, Avery? I would think that having grown up with your dad, he would never have wanted to touch anything like that.”

“That’s what I thought, too. But looking back, I think it just made him more susceptible. Desperate for approval, you know?”

“I can see that.” Marcus nodded his head.

“Justin really looked up to the club owner where we played. He followed Frank around everywhere, copied everything he did, including the drugs. After our shows, Frank would always be there with a line of coke, offering it to us on a mirrored platter, like it was some kind of gift.” Avery shuddered. “I wonder if only I had done something different, would I have been able to save him?”

“Avery, we all have to take responsibility for our own choices. I certainly know this.” Marcus cautioned his expression sober. “Justin made his own decisions. The drugs were there for you to take also, weren’t they?”

She nodded.

“But you didn’t do them, right?”

“No.” She shook her head, vehemently. “Of course not, never.” Scooting over closer to him on the sectional, she laid open her notebook to show him what she had written down while they’d talked. “I think I have the lyrics worked out now. What do you think about this?”

I am all you ever need, her desire calls

Telling her lies, her memory stalls

Poisoning the body, it seems so tender

It takes so much strength not to surrender

It loves to catch her as she falls

A siren calls him, a heavenly voice

He cannot resist, there is no choice

Upon the rocks, he feels no fear

She lures him there, the edge is near

An untimely fall, now she will rejoice

The desire so strong, it holds on tight

Strength to overcome, not in sight

Your senses so dulled, nothing alive

It tells you, you need me to survive

Your mind fights for what it knows is right

A desire to feel like never before

Always needing so much more

Death is looming, a desire so strong

A song to lure, a drug to belong

Don’t be fooled, there’s life to adore

AS AVERY WAS getting dressed the next morning, the phone rang. “Hey, I have a little problem,” Trevor announced ominously on the other end of the line.

“What is it?” Avery asked, heart beginning to pound erratically in her chest.

“A three hundred and fifty thousand dollar problem!” He chuckled at his joke while she dropped down on the bed and tried to catch her breath. “The check’s been burning a hole in my pocket. It needs to be deposited somewhere. It’s made out to this awesome guitarist I know, Avery Jones.” He chuckled again. “Maybe you’ve heard of him?”

Avery let out a piercing celebratory scream.

“Hey that’s my ear,” Trevor chided.

“Sorry Trevor. That’s awesome news. The best. There’s a bank just around the corner. I’ll go right over and open up an account.”

Avery arrived early enough to be the first customer of the morning. When she was done, she called Jeff to tell him she finally had the money to pay off the mobster.

“Oh, Avery, that’s great news.”

“I hate to ask you, but could you possibly take it to Campanella for me? He already knows you, and you’re the only one I can trust with that much cash.”

“Absolutely. Consider it done. Just send me a little extra something so I can buy a tub of disinfectant soap to wash off the scum afterward.”

Avery made arrangements to have the money electronically transferred to her roommate’s account in New York as soon as the funds became available. On the way back to her hotel, she stopped somewhere she had always wanted to shop, but never could have afforded before… the Apple store.

Once she had her purchase in hand, she immediately texted Marcus.

Avery:
U up yet bum?

Marcus:
Been up for hours scrub. Sup?

Avery:
Bought a new toy today- I want to show u. Biking- Stanley Park?

Marcus:
Sure Meet u @ Aquarium parking lot in 30, u got coffee?

Avery:
Will run to Café A. CU soon.

Avery spotted Marcus as soon as she exited the cab. The sight of him brought a smile to her lips. Marcus always looked good, but today he was ruggedly fine in faded jeans, a knit cap like hers, mirrored sunglasses, and a dark leather jacket.

Avery passed him a cup of coffee.

“Thanks.” He wrapped his hands around it. “It’s a little chilly for a ride this morning, but I’m game if you are. I haven’t done this in ages.” As they filled out the paperwork to rent bikes, Avery showed off her prize.

Marcus raised an eyebrow as she gushed on and on about all it could do. “Avery, you do realize that the iTouch is old technology.”

“I know, I know, but I’ve never had one. I just downloaded the Foo Fighters’ album,
Wasting Light
. Have you heard it?”

“I have, it’s a winner. Not seventies though. Are you softening on your stance about current music?”

She punched his shoulder playfully. “I just might have to add Foo Fighters to the exception column!”

They put on gloves and buttoned up jackets before they hopped on the bikes and headed around the six mile promenade that hugged the coastal peninsula of Stanley Park. They made several stops along the way as they saw things that interested them.

When they reached Prospect Point Lookout, they admired the view of Lion’s Gate Bridge. The fog hovering over the ocean concealed all but the top of Grouse Mountain.

“Hey, there’s a café here. Let’s go in and warm up,” Marcus said, patting his face. “Maybe grab a bite to eat. I’m starving, and my face is numb.”

“Sure. My lips are frozen.”

Marcus’ eyes flicked briefly to Avery’s full lips. “Yeah, your cheeks are red, too,” he said gruffly.

They took seats on opposite sides of a table in front of a window at the back of the café. It was crowded, but Marcus kept his sunglasses on, and no one bothered them. Avery took off her gloves. “Me and my brilliant ideas. I can barely feel my fingertips,” she said, exhaling on her hands and rubbing them together.

Marcus watched Avery for a moment, gaze intense but indecipherable before he blew on his own hands to warm them.

Avery found herself fascinated by his lips and began imagining things. She blinked out of it when the waitress showed up and took their order. She leaned forward. “Have you seen the Foo Fighters’ garage tour video?”

Marcus shook his head.

“It’s brilliant. You have to see it.” She moved into the chair next to him and scooted it over. Pulling her iTouch out of her pocket, she gave him one ear bud while taking the other. She scrolled down to the video and pushed play. Marcus put his sunglasses up on his head and leaned closer.

Avery gave Marcus a sideways glance. He was so handsome. She traced his features with her eyes while he watched the video. Intelligent brow, beautiful blue eyes, and those lips. Lately, she had become obsessed with the idea of kissing him, and his lips were so close right now. She could lean in ever so slightly.

Avery sighed. Marcus turned his head to look at her, and that put him even closer. She felt his breath, and her body melted with desire. He arched a speculative brow. Had he heard her sigh? Had he noticed her staring?

“Could you turn it up, Ace?” he asked.