Love & The Goddess (35 page)

We drove back to Galway and carried on our day in a restaurant at the Spanish Arch, a simple rustic place with wooden tables and stone walls hung with fishing pictures. We had
pre-ordered the slow-cooked shoulder of lamb for two, and delicious aromas of wild rosemary and thyme floated up around us as the succulent meat fell from the bone.

“So good, so good …” murmured Geoff between mouthfuls.

I decided to broach the subject of relationships. “Do you mind me asking what you meant last week about your love life being complicated?”

“Not at all. What I meant is that I have a responsibility to Liam, my teenage son with Down syndrome. I and my ex-wife share custody, and he’s in residential care during the week,
but he often comes to stay with me. I love him to bits and I’m never going to abandon him.”

I asked, amazed, “How could anyone expect you to abandon him?”

“The last woman I was involved with found my commitment to him very trying. It’s one of those issues that can really test a relationship.”

“And how do you see us? Do you think a relationship could work?”

“I know the distance could prove a problem, and I have to stay in Dublin for Liam … But I’m falling hard for you, Kate, despite a voice in my head warning me that I
don’t have much to offer you.”

“All I want is the right person to love me and me to love them. I don’t expect anything else. But let’s take things slowly.”

By the time we arrived back at the apartment it was ten in the evening. I felt safe in Geoff’s company and knew I could trust him, so as I parked the car I offered:

“Geoff, it’s getting late. Maybe you’d better stay the night. I’ve a spare bedroom.”

“I was hoping you’d invite me.” He smiled that wry smile again. “I’ll fetch my overnight bag and cancel the guesthouse.”

As I turned on the lights in the living room, Geoff handed me a bottle of prosecco. I put it in the freezer to hasten its cooling. “Do you fancy watching a movie?”

“Love to. What have you got?”

“I’ve a few subtitled French and Spanish movies. Ever seen ‘Like Water for Chocolate?’”

“I have, but I’d watch it again. Magical realism, right? But hang on now, it’s a bit steamy – I’ll have to behave myself while I sit beside you. How about we take a
rain check on it for when we get past the taking-it-slowly stage?”

“Okay, what about a vintage Bollywood comedy called ‘Chupke Chupke’?”

“Perfect,” he said, grinning at my choice. “Do you mind if I use the bathroom first and then make a call to my daughter?”

“Of course not. Bathroom’s on the right and your bedroom’s on the left if you’d like to call her in there.”

As he made the phone call, I found myself hoping this would be about more than just passion because I considered I might be falling in love. Geoff made me feel young and carefree and I loved his
wild creativity coupled with his intense love of nature – it appealed to my artistic side. Being in his company was like seeing the world in vivid technicolor after living in a grey place for
a long time. When I talked to him, I found I knew things about art I thought I’d long forgotten, and everything took on a magical glow. I liked who I was in his company. I hadn’t fully
gotten round the issue of him being an impoverished artist but maybe my spirituality would help me evolve on that front.

“A penny for them,” he said, coming into the kitchen behind me. I swung round to find him smiling at me.

“I was just reflecting on the nice day we spent together.” I pulled the prosecco from the freezer. “Will you try a Bellini cocktail?”

“What’s that when it’s at home, Kate? You’re what my mates’d call a ‘posh bird’! I’m not used to such fancy fare!”

“Prosecco with peach snaps and a little peach purée,” I said, laughing at the idea of being called a posh bird.

“I’ll take your word for it, you being a domestic Goddess and all that!”

“You sit down outside and I’ll have it in to you in a jiffy. Just press play and the movie’s ready to roll.”

“Are you always this hyper-organised? It’s a bit scary for the likes of me, I tend to be a bit disorganised.”

“God, Geoff, I’m the most angst-ridden creature on the planet. The hyper-organisation is a cover up. Are you the kind of man who can calm an anxious woman?”

“Well, I could try.” He came over to me and took the glass out of my hand. “Does this work?” he asked, before embracing me and covering my mouth with his. With his warm
deft tongue, he parted my lips and searched my mouth, his hands moving over my waist and buttocks. He drew back. “Well?” His blue eyes were dancing as he looked into mine.

“Hmm … Yes, I think that could help. Not exactly calming, but it could get me through the odd crisis.”

“Come on then, let’s sit and watch the movie,” he said, taking my hand.

My head was spinning and spine tingling as I took my Bellini in my free hand and allowed him to lead me out to the living area to sit on the sofa. As we watched the movie, we cuddled close
together – I with my shoes thrown off and my legs curled underneath as he turned in to me and played intermittently with my hair and examined my hand like he had never before seen a hand. And
God, it was so sexy when he kissed my ear and proceeded with a trail of kisses down my neck. How could just kissing my earlobe have me wanting to abandon myself to him, to tell him to take me there
and then? It took all my resolve not to do so.

When the movie ended and we stood up to go to our separate bedrooms, he placed his mouth over mine and kissed me tenderly yet passionately, circling my tongue with his and sucking it playfully.
He was the best kisser I’d ever met and I felt myself soaring with desire as
kundalini
energy rushed up my spine. But we’d promised to behave and behave we did, despite the
sizzling electricity we appeared to generate whenever we touched.

T
he following morning I slowly awoke to the sound of my phone ringing incessantly in the living room. As soon as I opened my eyes, it
stopped, but then it started again after about two minutes. Sighing, I hauled myself out of bed and went to find it. Trevor. Wasn’t he on holiday with Julie? What on earth did he want?
“Hello?”

“Kate, how are you?”

“Never better. You?”

“Look, I know this is unexpected but I’m worried about Julie.”

I became fully awake. “What do you mean? Has she been in an accident?”

“No, no, nothing that immediate. It’s just her preoccupation with dieting that concerns me.”

“I asked her about her weight loss before she went on holiday with you and she flat-out denied she was dieting. How was she with you?”

“I found laxatives in her room in the hotel and she barely touched her food. Whenever she did eat to prove me wrong, she immediately headed for the nearest bathroom. Her weight is
dangerously low, Kate. She must be under a hundred pounds.”

“Oh my God! At her height that’s crazy.” I felt as though I’d been suddenly whipped up by a giant tornado. “You’re back on Sunday, right?”

“No, I decided to come back earlier because of Julie. We’ve just arrived in Dublin airport. I’ve left her to get the luggage. Can you come up to Dublin and I’ll meet you
at your parents’ house? Both of us need to be singing from the same hymn sheet on this one if we’re to nip it in the bud. And we both need to tread carefully with her.”

“Yes, yes.” I pressed my left hand to my forehead as my thoughts raced; I tried to think logically. “Yes of course. I’ll leave right away.” If Trevor was this
worried, then things were really bad. He clearly thought our daughter was anorexic. Why was life always like this for me? As soon as things started to look up, some disaster struck. It was hard not
to wallow in self-pity and feel I was jinxed.

“Geoff, I’m sorry.” I stuck my head around his bedroom door. “An emergency’s cropped up with my daughter and I have to leave straight away. I’ve just heard
now and I have to rush.”

He sat up rubbing his eyes as the early sun streamed in through the curtains. “Sorry to hear that, Kate. What’s wrong? Anything I can do to help? I’ll be ready to leave in a
moment – I’m heading to Dublin myself, to collect my son.”

“No rush, take your time, just check all switches are off when you leave and pull the door behind you …” I headed into my room, pulling off my nightie as I went. I was like
Road Runner on speed as I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Pulling my overnight bag from the bottom of the wardrobe, I hurled in pyjamas, t-shirts, underwear, socks and a wash bag as fast as I
could. No exodus in history, including the flight into Egypt in Herod’s time, could have been faster as I dashed for my car.

On the journey up I wondered had the break-up been to blame for Julie’s descent into anorexia? Or was it solely my fault? Was I wrong to have brought magazines like Vogue and Elle into the
house? That awful “waif” trend would have been around when she was at an impressionable age. And like any woman who wanted to look her best, I’d subscribed to the French adage of
“il faut souffrir d’etre belle”. I’d stood in skyscraper heels at weddings, only to have to visit the chiropractor the following day and have my vertebrae re-aligned while
my screams could be heard by Julie as she sat in the waiting room. Afterwards, she’d commented innocently: “So those shoes are definitely headed for the bin then, Mum?” to which
I’d answered: “God no, not after all the compliments I got yesterday!” I knew I’d occasionally gasped in horror when I found I couldn’t fit into my favourite pair of
jeans, muttering under my breath: “I’m a disgrace!” as I showed Julie my recently acquired midriff bulge which was threatening to grow into a muffin top if I didn’t cut out
biscuits and chocolate. My years as a very plump teenager who loved making and eating her own cakes were always at the back of my mind. I’d had such a battle to lose the bulge back then. Now
I realised I’d been a terrible mother, passing on such superficial values. It was no wonder my life had fallen apart, forcing me to take the more spiritual path to self-awareness. I just
hoped it hadn’t happened too late.

Driving in the gate to my parents’ house, I was seized by a sudden compulsion to shove the car into reverse mode as I caught sight of the number plate on Trevor’s silver BMW parked
to the left. Just then, I saw Julie appear at the door and I remembered why I was here in the first place. Julie came first in my life before anybody or anything else and she always would.

“Hi, Mum! Do you want any help with bags?” Her tone was buoyant.

“Hi love, great to see you. No, I just have an overnight bag.” I embraced her ultra-slim frame. “You’ve lost more weight.” Standing back to look at her, I
registered to my relief that though she was slim, she didn’t look as thin as Trevor had led me to believe. She was definitely a good twelve pounds over what he had suggested. Still, he had a
right to his concerns. She was a young woman, and air-brushed images of stick-thin models graced every magazine and billboard, setting impossible targets of female beauty.

“I’m just eating healthily, Mum, I’m
fine
. You’re always worrying about someone.” She tossed her head as though I were insane. “Dad’s inside with
Granddad. He’s helping to humour him and Gran’s delighted because Granddad’s been difficult lately.”

I told myself I could handle this as I followed Julie through the front door and into the hallway, where my mother intercepted me. “Great to see you, Kate. Trevor and your dad are in the
living room – I’ll get you a cup of tea.” This was followed by a whisper into my ear: “Dad’s delighted Trevor’s called. They’ve had a great chat. He has
nothing but praise for you. I think he still loves you.”

Holy Moley and Saint Joseph – would somebody tell the ground to open right now, please. Aware that Julie was watching me intently, I held my tongue, gathered myself together and even
managed a smile as I entered the living room. Julie walked towards the kitchen.

For some strange reason, when I saw the two men who had played such a big role in my life sitting there together, a warm feeling of familiarity and security seemed to wash over me. It was just
like old times, but it didn’t make sense in light of new developments in my life. Maybe the whole business with Julie was confusing me.