Love Will Find a Way (6 page)

"Oh, have you?” he said in a lashing tone. “Do you call it fair when you refuse to take alimony, when you won't let me pick up the tab for your health care premiums? You want to punish me and make me feel guilty. You're being stubborn, Emily, stubborn and vindictive."

"You think I'm stubborn because I refuse to let you continue to run my life?” Emily's voice raised a few decibels. “You are no longer my lord and master. I make my own decisions now."

"I'm not trying to make decisions for you.” He sighed wearily. “I'm trying to take care of you."

"You're trying to salve your conscience,” she shot back angrily. “You gave up the burden of taking care of me when you divorced me."

"I never thought of caring for you as a burden."

"Will you stop being such a hypocrite?” Emily felt the internal combustion of frustrated anger. “You feel guilty as hell because you've treated me like dirt. You're upset because I refuse to allow you the luxury of buying peace of mind at the cost of my self respect."

"Is that how you saw me?” he asked in a hushed voice, “as your lord and master?"

She spoke with quiet firmness. “That's what you were. You were overbearing and selfish.” She knew she should stop. She was saying far too much.

"I resent what you're implying.” The muscles in Robert's jaw tightened. “I never put my wishes ahead of your self respect."

"Oh, yes, you did.” Memory liberated a host of old recollections. “All of my life you've been telling me what to do and I've been doing it. Even when we were children and played games or went to movies, you said what and where and when."

"I was older and better equipped to make decisions.” He swallowed, making his Adam's apple bob up and down like an elevator. “I always did what was best."

"Best for whom, Robert?” she asked with quiet scorn.

"You can't hold what we did as children against me.” He took a quick swallow from his glass. “I always had your best interests at heart."

"We both know better than that. You've always been self-centered and domineering. When you decided we were going to be married, it had to be immediately. I wanted to wait and go to college, but you said no."

"I had finished college. I was ready to settle down. I needed a wife."

"I had, I was, I needed. Listen to yourself, Robert,” she said dispassionately. “I, I, I."

"I thought it was the best for both of us,” he declared on a troubled breath.

"What did you think when I wanted another baby after Larry was born?” she asked softly. “I
begged
you for another child. You said no. When Larry started school and I wanted to enroll in college, you said no again. When I wanted to accept a paying job with the library, you wouldn't hear of such a thing. You didn't mind your wife volunteering, but she couldn't work and get paid for what she did. That was too much for your macho ego."

He had turned quite pale. “I had no idea you harbored such bitterness."

Her eyes smoldered with resentment. “Neither did I until you left me for the kind of woman you never wanted me to be."

"That's not...” His voice trailed away and then revived. “You really do hate me, don't you?"

"It wasn't
all
your fault,” she said on a note of despair. “I let you siphon my life away. You took, I gave and when you had taken everything I had to offer, you walked away."

His nostrils flared. “You make me sound like a demon in human shape."

"Whatever you are, I don't want you trying to tell me what to do. And don't keep coming around offering me crumbs. I am going to make a new life for myself. I don't need you to tell me how to do it."

He vaulted to his feet. “I really do care about you, Emily."

"If you had cared for me, you wouldn't have betrayed me with another woman. I have more affection for Boo than you have for me.” She snorted her disgust. “Go back to Susan and leave me alone."

Visibly shaken, he began to walk toward the door. “You certainly don't paint a very pretty picture of me."

Never before had she been so brutally honest. On a swift burst of insight, she realized that she had wanted to get those things off her chest for months, maybe for years. Following Robert to the door, she asked, “Shall I have Larry call you?"

He grasped the doorknob. “Larry?"

"About another ticket."

"No, that's all right.” He was looking at her in the strangest way. “I'll manage."

After much thought, Emily did speak to Larry. She told him Robert wanted another ticket and why.

Larry's young eyes flashed with sudden anger. “I don't want that woman at my graduation."

Emily suspected that if she ever wanted to drive a permanent wedge between Larry and his father, this was her golden opportunity. She cast the thought aside. She couldn't be that cruel. “That woman will soon be your father's wife. Don't you think it's time you accepted that fact?"

"He's going to marry her?” Larry's eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm sure he will. Why else would he want a divorce?"

"And you think I should send Dad another ticket?"

"I think you should accept what is and deal with it."

Larry seemed reluctant. “Are you sure it's all right with you, Mom?"

Emily forced herself to smile. “I think it's the thing to do."

Larry's surprise was evident. “Okay, if you say so.

Emily tried to brace herself for the trauma of seeing Robert with another woman. For more reasons than she could name, she dreaded that encounter. It would make her an object of pity to her friends and Robert's family. But, she reasoned it was inevitable that sooner or later they would run into each other. Larry's graduation ceremony seemed as good a place as any. She knew it would be difficult, but she never dreamed it would be as hard as it turned out to be.

Emily was seated beside Kevin in the school auditorium when Robert came through the back entrance with a beautiful young woman clinging to his arm. Kevin reached for her hand. “Steady, Mom."

Emily gasped, “She's gorgeous and so young.” Susan Barrett was tall and glamorous, with a mane of midnight hair and a figure that could have graced the pages of a fashion magazine.

Kevin's arm went around his mother's shoulder. “How can he do this?"

"It's all right.” Emily said. But it wasn't all right. Inside she was dying.

"He's making us all look like fools.” Kevin's fingers tightened around Emily's hand.

"Don't let it spoil your evening,” Emily begged, but her spirits plummeted to a new low. Then a soothing trauma took over her mind and body allowing her to function on the surface as a normal person. Looking back later, she would realize that she had been in total shock. It was nothing short of a miracle that she was able to make it through the remainder of the lengthy ceremony without falling apart completely.

As the presentation of diplomas drew to a close, Emily whispered in Kevin's ear, “As soon as I congratulate Larry, I'm going to slip out the side door and go home.” Robert's parents had planned a family party after graduation. Since she hadn't been invited, she could only assume that Robert would be taking Susan there.

For once, Kevin didn't argue. “After I see Larry, I'm on my way, too."

"Aren't you going to Grandma's?"

"I should,” Kevin whispered. “If for no other reason than to tell my old man what I think of him."

This was turning out worse than Emily had imagined. “Promise me you won't say anything to your dad."

Kevin patted her arm. “I'm not even going to speak to that middle-aged Romeo."

After the ceremony Emily found Larry and offered her congratulations. “I'm so proud of you.” She kissed him on the cheek. “I'm leaving now. Tell Grandma and Grandpa I said hello."

"Are you sure you don't want to go to Grandma and Grandpa's with me?” Larry looked at the crowd around him. “Where did they go?"

Emily felt sure that they didn't want to run into her anymore than she wanted to see them. “Not this time.” Apparently Larry was not yet aware that Robert had Susan with him.

As she turned to walk away, Larry called after her. “I won't be home until late. I'm going out with Gus after I leave Grandma's."

Emily waved without looking back. “I'll see you tomorrow.” She hardly remembered the drive home. It was not until later, when she had crawled between the sheets of her lonely bed, that the full impact of the evening's events hit her. It was then she faced for the first time, a truth she had been denying for months, Robert wasn't coming back ... ever. She buried her head in her pillow and wept bitter tears.

The next morning Emily did something she had not been able to do before. Slipping her wedding ring from the third finger of her left hand, she let it drop into the drawer of her nightstand. A part of her life, a very large and important part, was over. With a defiant lift of her chin, she vowed that this would not defeat her. Other women had faced divorce at middle age and survived, so could she.

Some of that resolve vanished later in the day when Robert's parents appeared on her doorstep unannounced. “I do hope we're not intruding.” Clara Franklin's veined hand brushed a wisp of gray hair from her forehead. “I felt I had to see you and explain."

Emily had always been fond of Robert's parents. “Of course, you're not intruding. Come in."

"Mamma didn't sleep much last night.” George Franklin patted his wife's arm affectionately. “I told her she worried too much, but you know how Mamma is."

"Is there something I can do?” Emily had no idea where this conversation was going.

"We came to apologize for last night.” Clara's lips pulled into a prim line. “We were so sorry we couldn't invite you to the house after the graduation."

"We thought it was best for all concerned if we didn't ask you,” George hastened to add. “But Mamma wanted to explain."

Emily brushed his words aside. “You don't owe me an explanation—"

George Franklin intervened. “The situation is so awkward. Mamma was upset. She still is."

"Robert brought Susan to meet us.” Clara picked up where George left off. “It felt so strange having a family gathering without you there."

Emily's last foolish hope died a painful death. Robert did intend to marry Susan. Why else would he bring her home to meet his family? “You'll get used to it, Clara."

"Why must you be so kind?” Clara's voice sharpened. “Why didn't you fight for Robert? Don't you love him anymore?"

"A part of me will always love him,” Emily admitted, “But I have my pride. If he doesn't want me, I refuse to try to hold on to him."

"Sometimes a virtue can be carried to a fault.” Clara put her hand across her mouth as her eyes widened. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I don't want to lose your friendship, but Robert is my son. I have to respect his wishes."

"Of course you do. I wouldn't expect anything else."

George's shaggy head moved from side to side. “We've known you all your life. You are very dear to us. You're like a part of our family."

Clara tried to smile. “It's not like you divorced us."

Through no choice of her own, she was divorced from them now, in so many ways. “You will always be a part of my life. You're the grandparents of my children."

Clara breathed an audible sigh of relief, as George said, “See? I told you."

"But I won't be coming to visit you again.” Emily hated being so blunt, but she knew no other way.

"Why not?” Tears gathered in Clara's eyes.

"Because I can't.” Emily despised having to hurt these two dear old people, but they had left her no alternative. “It would be an intrusion."

Clara began to cry. “Why did that foolish woman have to catch Robert's eye? She's gone and spoiled everything."

George put his arm around his wife's frail shoulders. “We have to respect Emily's decision, Mamma. She has a side in this, too."

Clara and George left some thirty minutes later. Even after Emily had explained that their relationship must have different guidelines now, Clara still objected. “I don't like it. But I suppose I'll have to adjust."

After numerous assurances by Emily that she would call and the three of them would get together soon, George and Clara left. Emily sat on the couch, and drew a weary breath.

The telephone ringing jarred her from her lethargy. To her utter surprise, Thad Thackery was on the line. “Emily? How are you?"

Emily sighed into the telephone. “My ex-in-laws just left. Does that answer your question?"

Thad observed with grim amusement, “Just when you think the worst is over, up jumps the devil."

Emily laughed. “You sound like the voice of experience."

"Oh, I am. I've been through the trauma of divorce three times."

"How are you?” Emily asked, because she couldn't think of an appropriate response to his rather personal revelation.

"I'm in a quandary.” Thad chuckled. “I have a problem that maybe you can help me solve."

His words caught her off guard. “What kind of problem?"

"I have suddenly fallen heir to two tickets to tonight's play at the Community Theater and I have no one to share my good fortune with unless you'd like to come along with me. We could have dinner somewhere first."

"You want me to go out with you tonight?” Emily gasped.

"I know it's a little sudden, but I didn't have the tickets until half an hour ago. What do you say?"

Emily didn't know what to say. “I don't know...."

His soothing voice probed, “Do you have other plans?"

He was giving her a chance to say no gracefully. “No. No plans."

"Then is it a date?” That question had all the trappings of a statement. “I'll pick you up around seven."

Emily hadn't been out on what could be considered a date in over twenty-five years. Ruefully, she admitted that given time to consider her rash act, she might have changed her mind.
It's too late now.
She pulled her dress over her head and with some difficulty, zipped it up the back, realizing as she did so that Robert had always zipped it for her before.

Thanks to Thad, the evening was pleasant and enjoyable. He took her to a very fashionable restaurant for dinner. He was good company, witty and attentive and with some knowledge of any subject that came up for discussion. He was also thoughtful and considerate, holding doors for her, helping her off with her wrap and listening attentively to her thoughts and opinions.