Love Will Find a Way (2 page)

Robert pushed his chair back and stood. “I think I'll have my shower now."

Emily pushed the dinner cart out into the hall, locked the door and secured the chain. She was beginning to wonder if Robert was ill. Maybe he had been stricken with some life-threatening malady. That thought was too horrible to contemplate. She closed her mind to such a frightening possibility.

She was sitting on the side of the double bed she had turned down when Robert came out of the bathroom. Sitting on the bed across from her, he took her hand in his. “I'm sorry to have dragged you up here, but I have something important to say to you and I need privacy to say it."

A shiver tingled down Emily's spine. It had been a long time since Robert had made a special effort to be alone with her. The thought that he might want to rekindle the embers of passion that had once burned white-hot between them sent a warm glow flowing through her. “I was happy to come. I've always loved it here. What did you want to tell me?"

"This is very—” a sigh punctuated his words, “Difficult."

Emily's heart began to pound against her ribs. What she saw in the deep blue of his eyes was not a glow of desire, but a look of pain. “Are you all right?"

He snapped, “Don't fuss over me."

"I wasn't fussing.” Fear, like a coiled spring, began to unwind in her stomach. “I'm concerned. I know you well enough to know that something is wrong."

"I don't think you know me at all.” He stared past her toward the wall.

The pain in Emily's chest brought her to her feet. She paced across the small room before pausing by the door. “Maybe I don't."

Robert ran nervous fingers through his hair. “I didn't mean that. Will you come back and sit down?” He added a painful, “Please."

Emily retraced her footsteps and sat on the side of the bed.

Robert cleared his throat. “I care about you, Emily."

"Well I should hope so,” she said, trying to lighten the moment. “I'm your wife."

"Don't make this,” he swallowed deeply, “any more difficult than it already is."

Exasperation gave Emily's words an edge. “Say what you have to say, it's late and I'm tired."

"I want.” Robert took a deep breath before blurting out, “Damn it, I want a divorce."

In the charged silence of the room, his words erupted like an explosion. Emily whispered, “I don't understand."

"I'm asking for my freedom.” His face was grim. “I can't go on this way."

In the space of a heartbeat, the foundation of Emily's world cracked and shifted shattering her universe in one incendiary moment. Even before she asked, she knew. “Is there someone else?"

Robert ignored her question. “I've leased an apartment near my office. That doesn't mean I'll stop paying your bills or caring for you. You can have the house and one of the cars. I'll take care of Larry's college expenses and see that you have ample alimony."

Even in her agitated state, one fact became crystal clear; this was not some sudden impulse. “You want to move out of the home we've shared for twenty-five years?” Panic battled with disbelief. “Why?"

Distress deepened the furrows in his brow. “Our marriage has been over for a long time."

A churning began in the pit of Emily's stomach. “I don't think of our marriage as over. I love you. I don't want you to go.” Tears trickled from her eye, ran down her face and fell onto her chest. “Tell me,” she whispered in a voice that quivered with emotion, “what I'm doing wrong and I'll change."

She read in his granite stare pity and remorse, coupled with an inflexible determination. “People don't change, Emily."

"Are you,” she choked on the words, “involved with someone else?"

He hung his head. “Yes."

A dozen questions converged in her brain as she sat stunned and speechless, staring and not seeing.

"Don't try to tell me you weren't expecting this.” After an anxious pause he ground out, “Say something."

She had grown up with this man. Their parents had been best friends. She could never remember a time when Robert Franklin was not the center of her universe. Jagged lines forked across Emily's vision as incredible pain shot through her head. Squeezing her eyes shut, she asked in a voice splintered by anguish, “What's her name? Do I know her?"

"Her name is Susan Barrett. She bought old Sam Morrison's share of the realty company when he retired last year.” His voice was calm, yet oddly disconcerting. “I never meant for this to happen."

Emily felt disjointed, separated from her physical body. “Are you sleeping with her?” Why hadn't she seen this coming? All the signs had been there for months. Irrelevantly, she added, “I don't know if I can live without you."

"That's utter nonsense.” Robert's chest expanded and then deflated slowly. “You have a full life without me."

The paralysis of shock froze her. “I have no life at all without you.” This was too much for her brain to assimilate and more than her heart could bear. “I've been your wife for twenty-five years. I'm the mother of your children. How could you do this to me?"

"I never intended to hurt you.” He was looking shattered. “Please believe that."

His contrite words ignited a spark that singed through her frozen anger, “You bastard!” With one swift movement, she struck him with her open hand full across the face. The blow echoed through the room, “You son-of-a-bitch!” She raised her arm again.

He caught her wrist and held it. “Stop it, stop it now!"

Emily was past hearing anything he had to say. Pulling her hand free, she doubled her fists and struck him blow after resounding blow across the head and along both sides of his face before driving a left jab into his chest.

He caught her wrists again and held them in a vice-like grip. “Calm down, Emily."

A pall of utter futility swept over her. She fell back on the bed and began to cry, great gulping sobs, wretched to watch and painful to hear.

Robert came to sit beside her and taking her in his arms, soothed her with soft words and gentle pats. “Please don't do this. You will make yourself ill."

After several minutes, she pulled away and leaned back to look at him. “You've made up your mind, haven't you?"

Grimly, he answered, “Yes."

"And nothing I can do or say will change it?"

"That's true."

Why had he brought her here of all places to ask for his freedom? “And this last cruelty, this final betrayal what was that for?"

"I am trying to make this as painless as possible.” Robert catapulted to his feet. “Do you think this is easy for me? It isn't, I care about you. I'm just not in love with you anymore.” He was angry and frustrated, but there was pain in his reply and an alien emotion she couldn't measure.

"Is that why you chose this place to ask me for a divorce? You invited me to go away with you for what I thought would be a romantic weekend at our old hideaway. Now you calmly announce that you want your freedom. How could you be so cruel?"

He struck his forehead with the heel of his hand. “I thought it would be easier for you here, away from the boys and the family.” Seemingly shocked and embarrassed at what Emily had construed as ruthlessness he added, “There's no privacy at our house anymore."

"How would you know?” she retorted. “You're never there anymore."

"I don't want to quarrel with you. I don't want to trade insults.” She wondered how many times he had rehearsed this speech. “I would like us to part friends. It would be better for everyone concerned, the boys, my family, you and me, if we could do that."

Emily's cold fingers brushed her flushed cheeks. “What will we tell them?"

"The truth.” Robert's voice faded and then rallied. “That we've decided to divorce."

Emily grasped one of her hands in the other, to stop them from shaking. “I don't know what the boys will say."

"They are both adults. They will understand."

"What about Mom and Dad Franklin, and Debra?” For the first time since her parents had been killed in an automobile accident five years ago, Emily was almost glad they were gone. They had thought that she and Robert had the perfect marriage. But, then until tonight, so had she.

"It's really none of their business.” Robert seemed to have found some of his composure. “Our divorce concerns only the two of us."

"If you believe that, you are a fool. Divorces have a ripple effect.” Emily picked up her clothes and moved toward the bathroom. “I'll dress. We can go home now."

"I'm too tired to make that long drive tonight."

"Then I'll drive.” She was dying inside. “I certainly don't intend to spend the night here with you."

For the first time, he looked her full in the face. “You're behaving like a child."

Tears spilled from her eyes. “I feel like a child, like a foolish, betrayed, neglected little girl who wants to go home.” She wiped her nose on the sleeve of her new robe. “I can't bear being in the same room with you."

"You're in no condition to drive and neither am I.” Robert dropped his head and stared at the floor.

"What about your mistress?” Emily taunted. “Don't you want to get back to her?"

"Don't call Susan my mistress.” The hand he brushed through his hair was shaking.

"Had you rather I called her a bitch?” Emily's voice rose. “That's what she is."

"I had rather you left Susan out of this. Our divorce is between you and me."

"There is no way to leave her out.” Somewhere in the back of her confused mind, Emily knew she was teetering on the brink of hysteria. “She's the third member of this little triangle.” She was appalled that she could feel such intense hatred for a woman she had never seen. “I hate her!” she screamed. “I hate you!"

Robert's voice quivered. “This is not easy for me either. Go to bed. You'll feel better in the morning."

By sheer force of will Emily regained a measure of self-control. He was right about one thing. She was in no condition to drive. She couldn't even think. What did it matter where she laid her head? She wouldn't sleep this night. Without bothering to remove her robe, Emily lay down on the far side of the turned down bed and pulled the covers up under her chin. “I will go to my grave hating you for what you've done to me tonight!"

Quite calmly, he asked, “Shall I turn off the lights?"

"You can go to hell for all I care."

Robert flicked the light switch, plunging the room into total darkness. Emily could hear him moving about the room, preparing to retire. After awhile the sound of squeaking springs told her he had lain down on the other bed.

Seizures of sobbing wracked her body, pulling her down into the depths of black despair. Robert was leaving her for another woman. A fist of pain closed around her throat, making breathing difficult. Sitting up, she gulped and gasped for breath, afraid she was going to lose consciousness.

"Emily?” Robert's voice sounded in the darkness. “Are you all right?"

"What the hell do you care?” she asked between choking sobs.

He got into bed with her and took her in his arms. “I had no idea you would react so emotionally.” He kissed the pulse that beat at her temple. “Please don't do this to yourself."

"I didn't do it to myself.” She pushed against the wall of his chest. “You did it to me!"

His touch was soothing and his voice gentle. “Relax, Emily.” He massaged the back of her neck.

She laid her head on his shoulder. “What did I do that was so wrong?"

"You've done nothing wrong.” His mouth brushed the side of her face. “It's not you, it's me.” He was holding her and caressing her.

Even in her dazed condition, Emily could sense his arousal and she was amazed. “Robert?"

"My God.” Robert reached behind his head and loosened her fingers from around his neck. His breath was an erotic puff against her cheek, his lips hot against her skin. “Emily, please.” His pleading words bled out into the charged atmosphere.

"You do still love me. I know you do.” She was suffering the torments of the damned, but so was he. Emily was moved by compassion so exquisite that it shocked her. “My poor darling,” she murmured. “My sweet, sweet love.” Pulling his face down on her breast she kissed the top of his head. His skin was hot and moist against the satin of her robe.

He buried his face in the softness of her bosom. “I'm so sorry, so damn sorry."

She sensed his surrender even before his arms pulled her nearer. Why shouldn't she anticipate his every mood? They had been lovers for such a long time. She knew his nature, his preferences and sometimes his thoughts. Raising his passion-laden eyes, he stared into her face. “Say you forgive me.” Even before his lips touched her parted mouth, she knew sympathy had transmuted to a sudden, fiery, intense passion.

Every part of her body responded to his touch. She surrendered with a quivering sigh of ecstasy.

"I can't let this happen.” With a groan that seemed torn from the depths of his very soul he grabbed her even closer. He not only let it happen, he instigated it. His hands caressed her shoulders and then moved to her breasts. Pulling her robe away and pushing down the spaghetti straps of her gown, he dropped his face and ran his tongue around her aroused nipples. The dam of desire broke. Need raged like a fever.

It seemed the most natural thing in the world that they should make fierce, passionate love. In the soft darkness they fumbled to shed clothing before coming together in a fiery symphony of pleasure that rose, receded, rose again and then climaxed in a wave of unbelievable ecstasy.

The inevitable descent to reality left Emily feeling spent and used. She could hear Robert's rough breathing as he pulled himself from her and turned on his back. Bitterly, she croaked, “I hope I was an adequate substitute."

Robert sat on the side of the bed, turned on a lamp and narrowed his eyes against the light. “This was a mistake. God, I am sorry."

He had carried her to soaring heights of ecstasy and he was sorry? “Sorry for what?” she questioned bitterly, “for making love to your wife?"

"It's not that. You don't understand."

She sat up and pushed a pillow under her shoulders. “You're right, I don't. How can you say our marriage is over and then make love to me like that?"