Love Without End (15 page)

Hey there precious, I’m your mommy. I wish you were here with me in my arms, getting ready to go to grandma and grandpa’s to have Thanksgiving dinner with daddy and auntie Brielle. You’d be almost three now. Mommy’s big boy or maybe my little princess, either way, I know you’d be perfect with your temper tantrums and sassy attitude, your dirty blonde hair and dimples getting you anything you want.

Mommy thinks of holding you every single moment of every single day, and I know your daddy does too, he beats himself up a lot that he wasn’t able to protect mommy, that he wasn’t able to protect you from being hurt. It wasn’t your daddy’s fault, just like it wasn’t Braydon’s fault. Braydon. That’s the man who hit mommy’s car causing me to miscarry you. He made a mistake that day, sometimes mistakes happen and even though it took you away from me, I know it was an accident.

How is your little brother or sister; are you playing nicely? Mommy’s body just can’t seem to keep you babies safe, huh? Maybe someday... but not to replace you, because you, my precious babies, are irreplaceable, but to share the love we have to give to another that wasn’t taken from us. Daddy patiently waited for mommy to get her shit together, and I am finally figuring it all out.

But now, I think daddy needs some time, some time to adjust and know mommy can handle it all you know – without running. Cause lil Jacobs’ if there is anything I have ever been more certain of, it is of my love for your daddy. I’m done running away.

Waking up alone in the bed after last night is not what I expected, but between the very intense conversations of Braydon’s visit, her summary of thoughts, hopes, and feelings of our future, and a little stress reduction of our own, I knew she would need to clear her head. Rolling out of the bed, I look out the back window and see her stretching her long legs on the bench. Pushing off the window ledge, I make my way into the bathroom, turning the nozzle to a scarcely bearable temperature of blistering, I step in washing the stresses and frustration I have kept pent up for so long away.

Long after the water started to lose its heat, I turn the steady stream off and get myself ready for a new day, a day with family, friends, and Tracie’s traditional afternoon meal. Last night, when Hannah and I decided it was time to start fresh, I hoped that meant everything, and I was going to try my best to only move forward with her. My anger still lingered, but acceptance of the situation helped immensely. I have been holding on to so much misplaced anger and hate. Accidents happen, I know just as well as the next person, but Hannah pushes me to accept things that I cannot change, pushes me to move forward from the past, and for the first time in a long time, I feel able to breathe knowing I have my Hannah back, knowing we are a we. Once dressed and ready for the day, I notice Hannah still isn’t inside, nor is she on the bench out back.
What the hell?
Picking up my cell to call her, I notice a text and know exactly where she needed to go back to, I grab the keys and make my way to her.

I saw the truck when I rounded the corner of the lot, stopping the car early to give her the quiet time I know she needs, I quickly withdrawal from the vehicle. Making my way to her as quietly as I can, I listen to the sweet words pouring from her. Knowing the pain and heartache she endures every moment steals my breath. My feet hit the gravel near the edge of the path creating a crunching noise upon each step. I stop behind her, as she wipes her face and murmurs, “Hey.” without turning around.

“I figured I’d find you here,” I rasp crouching behind her enveloping her in my arms and she nods. I pull her tight against me and with my lips to her ear, I quietly question, “So you aren’t running anymore, hmm?”

“No, Carter. I’m done running,” she says with confidence, grasping my forearms inhaling a cleansing breath releasing the stress she had been holding in. “Thank you for doing this for our baby.”

“You don’t need to thank me Hannah Grace, it’s what daddies do. But we need to add another.” My arms tighten and my lips graze her temple as her body melts into my touch. “Let’s get you home and ready for Thanksgiving dinner.” Releasing my arms around her, I stand and help her up. She encircles her arms around my waist, her cheek to my chest - inhaling me as I methodically knead the tension out of her back in a delicate rhythm.

“It’s beautiful here. Who knows this is here, Carter?” she questions without pulling away.

Kissing the top of her head, speaking softly into her hair, “Just our parents and whoever accesses public records regarding the county plots, baby. But all they know is I purchased the plots of land in the area, so unless they followed us out here, or came snooping, they wouldn’t know.”

“K,” she says pulling away looking into my pained eyes, then plants a long but chaste kiss on my lips before she stands and walks towards the truck to head back to my place to get ready for a day of family and thanksgiving. Looking over her shoulder as she climbs into the truck, I stand tall – shoulders back, faded denim jeans frayed at the boot hem, a red and orange plaid collared shirt perfectly in place under the grey preppy sweater that she picked out when she arrived – staring at her in bewilderment. She smirks and says, “What, sexy right?” Then slides in, starts the engine, and pulls away.

Once back at the apartment I hurry in, send off a few text messages to Brielle, Braydon, and my mom, and then place my phone on the charger in hopes of getting ready quickly to set my plan into motion before it can be derailed. Turning the shower to hot, I step in humming, which turns to full out singing the song last played in the truck, Boom Clap by Charlie something or another, swaying my hips in time as I lather my body and hair up and rinsing consecutively.

I hear Carter clear his throat just before a chuckle emits from the opposite side of the shower curtain. “Is that the song these days?” he laughs as he pops his head into the shower.

“It was what Lola was playing on our way home, it kinda stuck with me.” I grin shutting off the water, collecting my hair in my hands and squeezing the excess water from me before letting it down and reaching around Carter for my towel rubbing my naked breasts against his arm. “You should move, you’re getting all wet,” I waggle my brow suggestively and step out of the shower completely.

“Hmm, I have a feeling you are more than shower wet already, you little temptress. Good thing it’s still early, isn’t it?” he hoists me over his shoulder and carries me into the bedroom tossing me onto the bed, quickly removing his clothes to join me.

“Baby, I need you fast and hard,” he groans into my neck and I cling to his biceps as he plunges into my core with a single thrust, taking me, filling me completely. He continues to thrusts into me vigorously, bringing me to climax quickly and stilling inside me as he empties into me.

“Carter,” I speak into the nook of his neck trying to collect my breath, “I love you.” I rush out the words, closing my eyes, my body still singing from post-coital bliss. My phone alerts me of an incoming text message, interrupting our serenity.

“Ugh,” he growls into my neck, biting gently on my over sensitized skin, “that’s probably your mom, I bet we need to go to the store.” I can’t help but laugh at his irritation of once again being interrupted by something or someone.

“Now, I need another shower, round two if you are up to it, Sparky,” I say squeezing his ass, and then buck my hips at his already hardening cock.

“Hannah, for the love of God answer your texts, it’s like a freaking panic alarm or something!” I am beyond peeved at the twenty-plus pings that have gone off in the last five minutes since we got out of the shower. Typically, I’m not fazed by the random beeps emanating from her cell, but it’s like a fucking stress signal or something. Obviously, if there were a true emergency, someone would call, and her complete lack of urgency and cunning smile, tells me she is up to something.

“Carter, shut the fuck up, and deal. I just got everyone a little excited, don’t worry. I’ll fix it,” she tells me in a singsong voice and a smile brimming from ear to ear. Oh yeah she is getting into something for sure. I pull my navy sweater over my button up and stand directly behind her leaning in to sneak a peek at her phone.

“Han, whatcha doin, babe?” I know I am getting nowhere by asking, but just maybe my fuckery will get me somewhere.

“Nope not telling, forget it... wait, kiss me, maybe I will tell you.” She turns her face to me and puckers her lips; I wrap my arm around her naked waist pulling her to me and kiss her hard, imploring for more, but she pulls away batting her lashes and giggles. “Nah, maybe I won’t but I love you anyway.”

“Hurry it up, Hannah Grace. We are going to be late.” I demand, swat her bare ass, and walk out of the bedroom where she stands in the closet trying to decide on an outfit.

“Is this too much?” she croons. I wonder if I should even entertain her by looking up as I have the last three times, she has wandered out into the living room in outfits ranging from a thong – yes just that, a thong, a slinky dress that barely covered her ass, and a tee shirt and boxers from my dresser.

“Hey,” she shouts when I don’t look up immediately.

“Are you actaully ready this time?” I ask with laughter in my voice finally peering up. My eyes scanning her body taking her all in, she is so captivating and unknowing of her own beauty. Doing a small turnabout, so I can see the full package she has to offer – her honey blonde locks curled and framing her face but not taking away from the beautiful heart shaped pendent hanging from her neck resting just above the cream colored flowing tank top paired with the camel colored cardigan, and just right faded jeans frayed over the knee and camel colored boots to give her a boost in height. “Fuck, I am a lucky man,” I mutter standing and walking towards her.

“Don’t you even think about it, Mister.” She smiles then pulls me towards her by my belt and kisses the corners of my smile and side steps with her bag and phone to the door. Once loaded into the Cayenne, the annoying pings begin again, but are soon replaced by the most beautiful sound – Hannah’s laughter.

“What are you doing?” I inquire as I turn onto the highway, but she just continues on giggling as her phone rings and she quickly answers it, mouthing “Brielle” to me and rolls her eyes.

“Brie, why are you so worked up? It’s not as if I invited the fucking Taliban, I just invited Braydon. What’s the big deal? I figured giving you a little heads up would be nice of me; I just assumed you would have talked to him...?” Laughter is radiating in her voice as she spews out the words, but I remain quiet and try not to stew over why Braydon has been invited to Thanksgiving Dinner – or why I am just now finding out.

“And...” Hannah laughs harder as she looks at me her face is red and she is rocking back and forth in her seat. What can possibly be going on? I hear Brielle screeching through the phone Hannah is now holding away from her ear.

“Well this could make for an interesting dinner. Did you tell Chase that he was coming? ‘Cause I didn’t, I mean I only told you because I thought having you all wound up would be funny. A payback of sorts...” Hannah titters, even though looking over at her, she is back on the brink of a fully on belly laugh. “Brie just relax, it will be okay. I mean it’s just dinner; what’s the big deal unless you’ve been sneaking out on your current lover to see him?” Hannah all but finished the sentence before the laugh escaped her mouth.