Love's Blazing Ecstasy (40 page)

“So there you are, hiding in this corner. Come, the entertainment is about to begin.” The intruder tugged at the tribune’s arms, and Valerian found himself once gain in the middle of the room as the dancers and acrobats began their antics, but his eyes were blind, his ears deaf to anything but his grief about what Burrus had told him.

Wynne sat in a chair in her room, listening to the sound of the drunken laughter of the soldiers. It had been good to see Burrus again. She hoped that before he left the next day she would be able to talk with him.

She wondered how things were between him and Meghan. Had love been kinder to them than it had been to her?

She thought of Valerian and supposed by now he had found one of the other slave girls or dancers to share his bed. The thought tortured her with visions of his hard muscular body entwined with another’s softness. And yet she could not fault him, for she had denied him.

“Oh that I could find it in my heart to forgive him, to forget all the horrors of that day, to be able to give myself to him as I did so freely and innocently in our cave.” Closing her eyes she could remember how it felt to be in his arms.  “I know now that I do love him. I love him so much that I can hardly bear it!” As she undressed and made ready for bed, she thought of all the ‘might-have-beens’, all the things she should have said but did not and all the things she should not have said but did.  Their relationship was like a building that had been taken apart brick by brick and now lay in ruins on the ground. 

“Is there any way that I can pick up the pieces?” Climbing into bed she decided that there was not. The anger, icy glances, and misunderstanding had gone too far.  Each thought the worst of the other.

Wynne shivered suddenly and pulled a coverlet up over her body. It was a long time before she slept, and then she was plagued by dreams. She seemed to see Valerian standing by her bed whispering word of love to her,
begging her forgiveness, bending down to touch her shoulder and stroking her hair. Through the haze of dreams she could feel the warmth of his hand and smiled in her sleep.

Little did she know that it was no dream, that Valerian was actually in the room with her, looking down at her sleeping form and adoring her with his eyes. When he could no longer refrain from touching her, he gently ran his fingers through her silken hair, then turned and left the room.

The harsh morning light was as bright as a torch, nearly blinding Valerian as he slowly opened his eyes. His head felt like a ripe melon, his stomach churned, the pain at his temples threatened to drive him mad. He remembered all the wine had had consumed last night and cursed himself for his gluttony.

His first thoughts were of Wynne, remembering all too clearly what Burrus had told him. No wonder she had flinched when he had asked her how many men had fondled her lovely body. How could he have been so stupid and so cruel?

Getting out of bed, he moved slowly so as not to cause his head to throb any more than it already did. He dressed in his tunic and toga. Soon he might have to wear two under-tunics, as the weather was growing colder.

There is so much I have to say to her, so much I have to atone for
, he thought,
but if I have to spend the rest of my life to do so, I will.
Now more than ever he knew he must give her the freedom she so desired, knowing full well  that he might never see her again. This morning he would go to fetch Sloan, and after he had given the horse back to her and told her all the things that needed to be said, then he would give her her freedom and see that she was escorted safely back to her people where she belonged.

The idea of making Wynne happy, of seeing her smile again, was a balm to his soul, and for the first time in a long time he felt at peace with himself.  Wynne might never love him again but at least there would be peace between them and she would not hate him.

Stepping out of his bedchamber, Valerian was not surprised to find some of the celebrants sleeping off their intoxication of the night before. No doubt there would be many other throbbing heads around the villa this morning. He looked for Burrus to tell him what he was about to do, but couldn’t find the young centurion anywhere.

Well, it makes no different, he will find out soon enough that I have listened to him and am now acting accordingly
, he thought, heading for the stables and mounting a large gray mare.

“Wynne.  Wynne!  Wake up.  There is something I must tell you before I leave.”

Opening her eyes she saw the familiar face of Burrus gazing down at her, and smiled.

“Hello, Ice Princess,” he said with a grin that made him look like a mischievous boy. Something was on his mind.

Wynne sat up in bed and reached for his hand, grabbing it and holding it tightly in a gesture of supreme friendship. “It is so good to see you again. I have missed you and Meghan so much.” There was such loneliness in her eyes that he flinched.

“We have missed you too.” He kissed her lightly on the forehead and was pleased when she did not draw back from him as she usually did from any man’s touch. “How goes it with you, Celt?”

She battled bravely to hide her true feelings. “All goes well. Severus is gone. Soon the winter will turn into spring.”

Burrus lifted her chin and forced her to look at him. “And your new master? How does it fare with him?” He scrutinized her expression as he waited for her reply.

“He does not beat me as Severus did. All is well,” she answered softly, turning her head away from his steady gaze.

“Don’t lie to me,” he said gently. “Don’t you think I can see the tears brimming in your eyes. I know all about Valerian.”

“What do you mean?” Her entire body stiffened  as she tried to gain control of her emotions. “What do you know?”

“About your love for each other.”

“Love?” She sprang from the bed, her eyes touching on the door as if she wanted to escape.

“Yes, love.” Reaching out he caught hold of her arm.  “Valerian loves you.”

She shook her head.  “No, not any more, if he ever did.  He said very harsh words to me and I hate him for it.”

Burrus tightened the grip on her arm to keep her from running away. “You do not hate him. I am no fool. Your eyes betray you. You love him, and it is tearing you apart inside.”

“No….I….I….”  She couldn’t lie to Burrus.

“Why won’t you forgive him for a few foolish words he might have said?”

“Foolish words? No. They were hateful words.”

“He only spoke out of jealousy because he is like all men---possessive.  I would have acted the same towards Meghan if I had thought Severus had bedded her.”

“No, it is more than that.” She shivered at the cold in the room. “
He thinks me unclean. He accused me of trading my body for shiny things. But I would never do that and he should know what kind of woman I am.  I fought the men who attacked me, I fought Severus.  And yet he thinks….”

“Valerian does not think you anything but beautiful and brave.”  He reached up to stroke her hair in brotherly fashion.  “As do I.”

Wynne shook her head, relaying to Burrus her side of all that had gone on between Valerian and herself since his return, all his harsh words and contemptuous looks.

Burrus led her back to the couch, where they both sat down together. So many misunderstandings between them.  He didn’t know where to begin. “Valerian didn’t know about what happened until I told him last night. He did not know about how you were abused that day. I thought that he would break down and cry when I told him. Indeed, he nearly did.”

“He called me Severus’ whore and asked me how many men I had taken to my bed.”  She clenched her hands. “I would never do that.”

“No matter what he said, he knows that.  He was just doing what we men do, saying foolish things in a fit of jealousy.  But he wouldn’t have been jealous if he didn’t care deeply for you.” He told her the entire story of his conversation with Valerian the night before, how Valerian had nearly fought with him when he found out that Burrus knew her, of his efforts to find her, his torment at having found her only to think that she hated him and would never forgive him. “It nearly drove him insane to find out that you were Severus’ concubine. He did not know that the old goat was unable to bed a woman, but I heard it was so.”

As Wynne’s eyes grew wide with surprises Burrus laughed. “Oh, yes, I knew that he was impotent and I thanked the gods every night that at least you were spared that torture.”

Wynne laughed then for the first time in days. “Yes, I was spared that torture.” Talking to Burrus had improved her outlook on the situation. Perhaps all was not lost after all. Perhaps Valerian would be able to explain what had happened in the village. But a shadow passed over her face as she remembered something else.

“Valerian is betrothed. I heard it from the lips of Cassius himself,” she said.

At this news Burrus drew back.  Valerian had not told him this. “I know nothing about that, except that it must be some sort of mistake. Valerian would never take another woman to
wife when he is so in love with you. Talk with him. Find out the truth of this matter.”

“No,” she said, exhibiting her stubbornness. “Besides, that is not what really holds me from his arms. It is his betrayal. Valerian came to me with promises of peace while all the while you Romans were planning to attack.  Severus said it was for his own glory.  And two from my village accused him in the death of my father….”

Burrus threw his hands up in frustration. “Listen to me and listen well. Valerian is not guilty of any of these things you accuse him of. He did try to make peace between your people and our legion. I know. I followed him. He was my commander. It was Severus who was the bloodthirsty one. He broke his word to Valerian and attacked. He was not supposed to follow us for several days. We were going to make peace with your people and then ride like the wind to intercept the legions.”

“This is true?” She wanted so to believe that it was.

“Yes. I swear by the gods that it is. Valerian was sick unto death of all the killing and shedding of Celtic blood. When he learned that Severus planned to attack your people he persuaded Severus to let him go on ahead and make peace so that there would be no fighting. He thought that even Severus would not kill unarmed men who sought peace; but he was wrong. Severus thought that Valerian wanted to attack your tribesmen first because that was what he would have done.” Quickly he told her all that had happened and about Valerian’s constant talk about the lovely Celtic girl he adored. As he spoke, Wynne felt as if a weight was lifted from her heart and her shoulders. 

“He must have loved me to do all that,” she said softly.

“Yes, he must have. And still does.” He told her of how Severus had brought him back to Eboracum in chains. “Severus was going to have Valerian beheaded, for going against him. But Valerian escaped with the help of Meghan and a slave boy named Ibu.”

“I know the story.” The memory of that day when Ibu had told her that Valerian was his master and all the brave deeds Valerian had done came to her mind. But what of her father’s death? Edan had seen him headed for Adair’s lodge. Had it all been some monstrous error? Could there be some logical explanation, an accident perhaps? Brenna was capable of any lie, she knew. But why would Edan tell her falsely?

“You need to talk to Valerian, Wynne. Don’t throw love away. It is very precious as I well know.”

She hugged the young centurion. “Thank you, Burrus. Thank you for telling me and for being my friend.”

“And you will talk with him?”

“Yes.”  She pulled away from Burrus, her thoughts on Meghan.  “Speaking of love, how is Meghan? Is she happy?  Is she well?”

Burrus nodded. “She is growing more beautiful every day.”

“She loves you, Burrus,” she blurted with a smile
, watching as he blushed like a young boy. It was obvious to Wynne that he felt the same, and his words confirmed her hopes.

“Sometimes I think that being near her will drive me mad, but I will not touc
h her until she is free. As long as she is considered my slave, I will not bed her.” His eyes held the love he felt for the red-haired young woman.

Wynne stated the obvious. “Then I suggest you waste no time in seeing to it that she gets her freedom.”

“Free her?” He cocked his head to one side.  “But what if she leaves….and…”

Wynne covered his mouth with her finger tips.  “She won’t leave.  Trust me on this just as I trust you and what you have said about Valerian.”

“Free her and then make her my wife.” With a grin he nodded enthusiastically. “Good idea, Ice Princess. Good idea, indeed. I will speak to Valerian about it this very day so that he can help me get it done.”  His smile was infectious.

“And I will help you plan the wedding.” She was happy for Meghan and Burrus but for just
a moment sorrow clouded the happy moment as she thought about her own life and how she too longed for freedom.

Chapter Sixty-Three

Valerian arrived at his destination
in a little over an hour. He was hungry and tired, his head nearly splitting, but the sight of the black stallion made him forget his misery. He greeted the soldier on guard, who was familiar to him though he wasn’t sure where he’d seen him before.