Love's Guardian (25 page)

As a child, she’d caught glimpses of naked men on
The Merry Elizabeth
, so it wasn’t that she didn’t know how a man was formed. But Declan was beautiful. Her hands dropped to her sides, and she couldn’t look away, even if she’d wanted to.

The lamplight cast highlights and shadows over Declan’s muscular body. Long wavy black hair drew her attention downward, past broad shoulders to his chest. His skin glistened in the lamp’s soft glow, as if inviting her touch. Her hands wanted to take the same path as her eyes, following over each muscle, until they reached slim hips. Her inspection stopped at his manhood. The thick column sprang from its nest of dark curls, fully erect.

Raw power emanated from his lithe movements as he started toward her. He stopped a couple of feet away.

“I want to look at you.” He fumbled with the makeshift knot. The sheet fell to the floor with a whisper of sound, exposing her to his view.

“I’m glad you didn’t take my advice about sleeping in the nude.” Declan ached at the sight of her. She was petite and perfectly formed, with high creamy breasts tipped by seashell pink nipples. Constant exercise had smoothed the skin over muscle, but she was well rounded at hips and breasts, her curves emphasized by a tiny waist.

It took all his control to keep from grabbing her and making love to her quickly. He’d spent years learning to pleasure women, but this was different. She was a virgin, and he’d avoided virgins.

Alex returned his gaze, as if daring him to find her wanting.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered. “I knew you would be.” He moved closer and leaned down, then kissed the tip of her breast. He drew the softness of her into his mouth, wanting never to let go.

“Declan, stop. No. Ohhh.” Alex grabbed his hair, keeping his mouth at her breast. He tormented first one, then the other, rolling his tongue over the hardening nubs. “Please,” Alex moaned.

He removed her hands from his hair and kissed a trail upward, between her breasts, to the delicate skin on her neck. He’d waited so long to hold her like this. It felt like a dream. He hugged her closer and roamed her silken back with his hands. Her soft body yielded to his. She fit as though she belonged in his arms.

He breathed deeply, his face buried in the vibrant hair that held him spellbound. She smelled of vanilla, a fragrance he would never associate with anyone else.

His Alex. She
was
his. For tonight at least, and until he had to let her go.

His hands continued their exploration, one finally finding its way to the soft nest of curls between her legs. Warm moisture met his touch. He listened to her breathing. Small gasps mixed with tiny whimpering sounds fueled his passion. She clung to him as if she’d never be able to stand on her own.

Alex felt as if she was coming apart. Declan’s hands seemed to be everywhere. She cupped his buttocks and leaned back, relishing the firm muscles beneath her fingers. His hand was between their bodies, teasing that sensitive spot between her legs.

He stopped. Before she knew what was happening, an arm slid under her thighs. Declan picked her up and carried her to the bed. Their mouths still joined, he gently lowered her to the soft mattress. He lay beside her, kissing her eyes and nose, finally returning to her lips.

Feeling a bit unsure, she leaned back and began an exploration of her own. She wanted to really look at him, so she sat up. Using her hands as her eyes, she started with his face.

She loved his face. She could feel the strong bone structure that made him look like a sculpture of Apollo she’d seen once. Declan’s eyes followed her movements from under thick-lashed eyelids as she continued downward.

Marveling at the strong column of his neck, her hands continued caressing until they smoothed over his chest, her splayed fingers not covering half the expanse. She felt the muscles in his belly tighten as her hands moved in small circular motions, relishing the feel of the springy hairs under her palms. Her exploration went lower, until she came to his silken shaft. When she took him in her hand, he sat up quickly, and drew her into an embrace. He groaned into her mouth as she continued to caress the smooth flesh.

The feel of him built the tension in her. She was just starting to satisfy her curiosity, when he leaned back and looked at her. “Alex, I can’t wait much longer.”

She wasn’t sure what to do, but she wanted to experience everything. Nothing mattered except the new and exciting feelings he evoked. They stared at each other for a long moment, desire pulsing between them. “I want you, Declan,” Alex whispered as she slanted her lips over his.

Those few little words let loose passions she hadn’t realized he’d kept in check. She tried to shove him back down on the bed, but he resisted. Instead, he turned her over on her back and moved on top of her, bracing most of his weight on his arms. He rubbed the lower part of his body against hers as she arched up, trying to meet him.

He entered her carefully at first. Capturing her mouth, he stifled her cry as he pushed all the way in. The pain momentarily dimmed her feeling of euphoria.

Declan stilled, his whole body tense. “Are you hurt? I promise I’ll not go on until you’re ready. But God, don’t ask me to stop.”

His voice sounded strained. What did he mean, go on? He started to kiss her again and, with one hand, rubbed a tender nipple.

Sensation engulfed her again, stronger than before. She wasn’t even aware when he began to move. Slowly at first, then faster, until she felt as if she was on the brink of some great discovery. The intensity became so great, it teetered on the edge between pain and pleasure.

She wanted to stay here forever. Joined in this amazing act to the man she loved.

Then her world exploded. Spasms radiated from where they were joined. She felt her body clench around him. Emotion and physical sensation blended as one. She clung to him, not really knowing where she stopped and he began.

He was still moving inside her when she felt him stiffen, small shudders coursing through his body.

“Alexandra.”

Somehow he captured all the wonder of what they’d shared in her name. He collapsed on top of her, but she didn’t mind. She relished the weight of him, wanting to keep him close.

Slowly their breathing quieted, and Declan rolled to one side. He propped himself up on an elbow, studying her. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I thought you intended to marry me.”

“Have no doubts.” He brushed a damp curl off her forehead. “My lionhearted Alex. Most women are terrified their first time.”

Should she have been hesitant? She wasn’t going to pretend. She liked what they’d just done. If he wanted some simpering miss, then he should have found another woman to marry. “I guess I’ll never be like most women.”

Declan laughed. “Thank God for that.”

“Have you been with many women like this?”

Declan’s finger had started to blaze a path between the valley of her breasts, but he leaned back at her question and tapped her on the nose. “One of us needed experience.”

“But were those other women... Was it the same with them?”

He kissed her lightly on the lips. “You ask too many questions.”

“How else am I going to get answers?”

Declan raised an eyebrow. “All right, you may ask any question.” He held up a hand when she opened her mouth. “As long as it doesn’t concern other women. Now, what do you want to know?”

She really wanted to ask if he could ever love her, but didn’t dare. Until he dealt with his father’s memory, she doubted he could love anyone. If only he’d talk about his past. Then maybe...

“What do you remember about your father?” The question was out of her mouth before she thought about it. She doubted Declan would answer, but it was worth a try.

For a moment, he studied her intently, then turned onto his back. With his hands clasped behind his head, he stared at the ceiling.

“He was a hard man,” Declan said quietly.

“Perhaps, but he must have had some goodness in him. He loved your mother.”

“Yes. Although I never saw it myself.” Declan turned to look at her, a rueful smile on his lips. “He certainly never loved me. I can count on one hand the number of times my father and I were in the same room. My governess and the servants were under strict orders to keep me out of his sight.”

He stood and turned out the lamp, then crossed to the fireplace. The small glow from the fire illuminated his beautiful body. She wished she could capture his image as he rested one hand on the mantle and studied the fire.

“Did you know you can see into the drawing room from the first landing on the stairs? I used to watch my father whenever the door was open. He’d sit there for hours, a brandy snifter in his hand, staring at that damned portrait of my mother.”

“Surely you had others you cared about. What about friends?”

Declan turned toward her, his face a handsome mask. “The highlight of my life was being sent to our country house. The servants at Eberly didn’t really care what I did as long as I stayed out of their way.

“Meeting your grandfather saved my life. Without him, I had nothing. That’s why I went to
The Merry Elizabeth
to watch out for you and your family.”

“I’m sorry I was so difficult.” She wanted to say she was sorry for the lonely little boy who’d needed someone so desperately, but she knew he’d never accept her pity.

Declan gave her a slight smile. “You didn’t want to be taken away from your home. I understand that now. You were lucky, you had twelve years with your parents.”

She rose and crossed to where he stood, then reached up and brushed back the wayward hair on his forehead. “I’m sure your mother loved you.”

“I wish I’d known her. My life could have been so different if only...” Declan gave a little laugh. “It doesn’t matter now.”

In spite of the fact that he towered over her, all she could see was a broken little boy. “What your father did was wrong. Instead of cherishing the gift your mother left him, he let bitterness rule his life. Not everyone reacts the same way.”

“I wouldn’t know.” He turned away and studied the fire, his voice reflecting all the lonely years.

She turned him to face her. “Declan, listen to me. You’re not like your father. Love won’t destroy you.” She stood on tiptoes and ran her hands through his hair, then tugged his head down, forcing him to look at her. How could she make him understand he was no longer on the outside looking in?

“I love you, Declan.”

He stiffened. The muscle in his jaw started jumping furiously before he drew her to him, kissing her as though she would disappear at any moment. He lowered her to the rug in front of the fireplace, making love to her with an urgency that left her breathless.

Filling her senses, he seemed to be everywhere. She clung to him, her body responding like a harp in the hands of a master. His music echoed in her, even after they lay back, sated, on the thick carpet.

Declan spread her discarded sheet over them, warding off the chill of the predawn hours. She snuggled close and rested her head on his chest. Swirling a fingertip through the silken hair near one of his nipples, she marveled at the small intimacy.

She closed her eyes and drifted, half asleep. In her mind’s eye she saw a lonely little boy sitting on the stairs. Unaware, she murmured, “You’re not alone now, you’ll never be alone.”

Not alone.
Declan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was a seductive thought.

He gazed down at Alex’s sleeping form. Smoothing the hair away from her face, he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

She’d said she loved him. Sighing, he lay back. He shouldn’t be pleased, but he was. Why was it no other woman made him feel the things she did? Drawing her closer, he shut his eyes.

Unbidden, the memory of his father’s drink-ravaged face intruded on his thoughts, a firm reminder that love could destroy everything he’d worked for. He didn’t love her, did he? Maybe not yet, his inner voice warned, but this desire to keep her with him was dangerous.

Once they had a son, she had to leave. It would be best for them both. In the last hazy moments before sleep, he wondered if, even now, he had the strength to let her go.