Love's Miracles (33 page)

He’d
worked on this project more these last months than he’d done the past year, and
he knew why. He needed to keep reminding himself of the reason he was no good
for her.

He
was nearing completion. The base needed slight refining and then there would be
no more to carve on the statue – except the eyes. He hadn’t been able to touch
the eyes. The exact expression he should design never formulated in his head.
He supposed they should reflect accusing hatred, but he couldn’t do it. Not
yet; maybe never.

***

Another
week slipped by and Zane was in town again. He unlocked the Bronco Vinnie had
given back to him and slid into the seat. The vinyl was cold and sent chills
through his heavy jeans. He adjusted the collar of his blue Pendleton and
stared at the rain splashing down on the streets of Eureka.

After
leaning back on the headrest, he closed his eyes to the sight. He felt drained;
the sessions at the Vietnam Outreach Center were emotionally charged. It still
amazed him how some of the other vets could open up and talk about their
nightmares. He hadn’t been able to do that yet, nor did he think he ever would.

The
session continued to interest him. Margo’s words of hope kept ringing in his
ears. He wanted to at least get to the point where he could care about someone
again – someone like Margo Devaull.

He
wanted to see her now. Would he get through to her today? After taking a deep
breath he vowed to call her this morning. Last week he’d waited too long.

The
bowling alley wasn’t noisy at this early hour. After placing the stack of coins
on the counter, he stared at the shiny metal. As a Zanelli, he had enough
plastic to charge his way across the country, yet here he stood with a
pocketful of coins, nervous about calling for a date.

Zane
dialed. His heart pounded when he heard her voice. He had to swallow the lump
gathering in his throat.

“Hello?
Is someone there?” Irritation crowded into the sweet sound of her voice.

“It’s
Zane.”

The
line went quiet.

“Where
are you calling from?” she finally asked.

Zane
took a deep breath and forced his fingers to relax. “I’m in Eureka. I’ve been
going to therapy sessions at the Vietnam Outreach Center.”

Her
voice lowered and he could hear the emotion in it. “I’m so glad. Is it
helping?”

“Yes,”
he lied. He’d never tell anyone what really had happened in Nam. But if going
to the sessions meant he had a chance to see Margo again, he’d go. No one could
make him talk if he didn’t want to.

After
another deep breath, he decided to get to the point of his call. “I want to see
you.”

Her
breathing carried across the wires and he imagined how her mouth looked next to
the phone. She didn’t answer. He tried again.

“Can
you come to Fort Bragg this weekend?”

Her
voice faltered slightly, but she finally responded. “I don’t think it’s a good
idea just yet.”

He
clamped down the urge to argue and tried reason. “I’d like to talk to you. Not
as a patient,” he hurriedly tacked on. “I can get you a room at the inn. A
separate room. We could spend the day together.”

The
pause stretched into minutes. She hadn’t said no.

“Can
we have a picnic on the beach?” she asked.

“You
can count on it.”

The
weather was supposed to clear, but even if it didn’t Zane wasn’t going to worry
about it. All he wanted was to see Margo. Hearing her voice was not enough; it
made him hungry for more.

“I’ll
be there,” she promised. “But I’ll pay for my own room.”

Zane
had no problem with that. He agreed, and after hanging up the phone, sagged
with relief against the wall. He was going to see her.

***

Margo
couldn’t stop staring at Zane as he drove the Bronco past the lake and down the
forested lane of MacKerricher State Park. He looked good, better than she
remembered. The rugged and handsome features were the same, yet he appeared
more relaxed. Too bad she couldn’t say the same for herself. Sleepless nights
and worrying about Zane had taken its toll.

For
today, though, she felt happy and young. It had been weeks since she’d been on
a date or even taken time off to play. To be north again and to see Zane had
boosted her spirits.

After
downshifting the vehicle through the underpass and to the lower-level beach,
Zane turned to catch her staring. His smile reflected in his eyes, along with
admiration and anticipation. His mood matched hers and probably for the same
reason.

“It’s
good to see you again,” she told him. “You look like your ventures to Eureka
have been beneficial.”

He
shrugged and returned his attention to his driving. He eventually found a
parking place and pulled into it.

For
several minutes they were content to sit and admire the view. Margo still
couldn’t accept the fact that she was here. She shouldn’t have come, but
somehow she couldn’t make herself believe that any harm would result from
seeing Zane. It felt too good, too right to be in his company.

She
slid her glance sideways to take another look at him. He appeared more at
peace. Questions about his therapy sessions were on the tip of her tongue, but
she managed to refrain from asking them. A patient-doctor relationship with
Zane was not what either one of them wanted. She desired another level
altogether.

He
swiveled to face her, placing his knee on the seat between them. She could feel
his gaze going over every detail of her features. She sat still and waited.

His
voice was low when he spoke. “This is what I really need – to see you.”

“I’m
only here to spend the day with you.”

He
lifted his hand off the steering wheel and traced his finger along her forearm
where it rested in her lap. “I know. And that’s the kind of day I want. I won’t
hassle you, Margo.”

“I
didn’t think you would.” And would she really be satisfied with that? she asked
herself. Probably not, but she could pretend.

“I
thought this would be a good place.” He gestured toward the beach. “There are
always plenty of people around.”

His
thoughtfulness touched her, but it also made her smile. “You sure you can
handle that?” she teased. “I don’t want you to go into shock now.”

“This
kind of crowd I can take. Everybody’s here to have fun. No pressures. No mad
rush.”

“Sounds
like heaven. I could use a day like that.”

Concern
showed when he frowned. “You’ve been working too hard.”

She
nodded, thinking of the hours she’d buried her nose in research, trying to
forget Zane.

As
he opened the door of the Bronco he told her about his plans. “I brought hot
dogs to roast and a Frisbee. We can hike the beach or lay in the sun or…”

Margo
stepped out her door and met his glance across the top of the vehicle. “All of
it sounds good to me.”

Actually,
it didn’t matter what they did. She was discovering what mattered was simply
being with Zane.

It
didn’t take long to unpack their gear. Margo carried the blanket and a bag of
picnic supplies. Zane managed the ice chest with the Frisbee balanced on top.
They found the perfect spot, far enough away from others to give them a sense
of privacy. Two huge driftwood logs made a protective barrier from the wind,
and Zane spread the blanket between them.

“What
a day.” Margo stashed the bag next to the ice chest and straightened to admire
the scenery. “We’re lucky to have such good weather.”

“It
rained hard last week. There should be some driftwood to collect.”

“Maybe
a Japanese fishing float?”

“I
doubt there’d still be one of those around. There’re too many people.”

Zane
finished setting up their site and came to stand beside her. His presence
pleased her as she inhaled his masculine scent mingled with the salty breezes.

“What
would you like to do first?” he asked. “We can sit here and talk, have
something to eat, or we can walk along the beach.”

“I’m
ready to explore.” A walk would burn off some of the pent-up energy she was
generating. “Maybe there’ll be a float that others have missed.”

Optimism
and excitement sounded in her voice, and Zane must have responded to it. He
gave her that grin she loved and captured her hand in his.

“Come
on then. Let’s get started. There’s plenty of beach to work up an appetite.”

Margo
tried to focus on the crisp breeze and a sea gull’s cry instead of the warmth
in Zane’s hand. To think they had a whole day of this and it was still early. Zane
had arrived at the inn around nine and they’d left shortly after. She had to
chuckle when she thought of Nan’s curiosity.

It
probably would have been a better idea to have selected an inn where she wasn’t
known. But then again, she had nothing to hide. Zane had figured it would be
best to keep their relationship open and public. That way there would be no
grounds for talk or a setup for temptation.

The
breeze tossed her hair about and Margo was glad she’d worn the cotton jersey
sweat suit. The bright yellow matched her mood and would be comfortable as
well.

Zane’s
red Pendleton would keep him warm, but he’d rolled up his jeans and taken off
his shoes and socks. Margo took her sneakers off also and carried them hooked
on her fingers. The sand was cold but felt good sifting between her toes.

As
they neared the surf, Margo noticed objects that kept disappearing into the
water only to come up again farther along the coast. At first she thought they
were birds, but the shapes were too round. Another one popped up just past the
breakers. Brown eyes peered at her.

She
tugged on Zane’s hand and pulled him to a stop. “What’s out there? Is that a
seal?”

Another
head popped up beside the first. Whiskers twitched on pointed noses as the two
animals stared at Margo and Zane.

“They’re
actually California sea lions,” Zane explained. “They feed on fish in the
surf.”

A
large wave loomed behind the two animals. Instead of diving into it they
started swimming toward shore.

“Look.
They’re riding the wave,” she exclaimed, delighted with the ease and skill the
animals exhibited while maneuvering the surf.

“They’re
curious,” Zane told her. “Let’s keep walking and watch. They’ll follow us all
the way down the beach.”

Sure
enough, as Margo and Zane walked along, the two sea lions kept pace, bobbing in
and out of the water. Margo laughed at their antics, especially when they
surfed the waves. Their sleek brown bodies moved easily in the water. Their
barks mingled with the noise of crashing waves and the cries of sea gulls.

There
was other wildlife to observe as they continued hand in hand. Zane stopped
Margo twice to point out a pelican as it dove into the water to catch its
dinner. When it disappeared underwater its beak was narrow and pointed, but
when the bird flew back up its beak would bulge with its catch. Watching it try
to swallow the fish was another show altogether.

Not
only were there animals to see, but the people on the beach were entertaining
as well. One man came jogging along the wet, hard-packed sand, tossing his
Frisbee in the air, performing several tricks as he went. He’d kick it off his
elbow, his foot, and his knee, then spin around while the Frisbee was in the
air and somersault.

“What
a show-off,” Zane commented.

“You’re
just jealous because I’m paying more attention to what’s going on than to you.”

“I’d
never admit to that, but I do know how to remedy the situation.”

“Do
you now?” She glanced sideways at him in time to catch the mischievous glint in
his eye.

Suddenly
she was lifted against his chest. Automatically she wrapped her arms around his
neck, too interested in the feel of him to worry about the fact that he was
carrying her into the surf.

“Now
do I have your attention?” he asked.

She
was inches from his smooth-shaven jaw. He skin smelled like sunshine and fresh
air, and she couldn’t resist pressing her cheek into the warmth of his neck.
His grip tightened around her.

“That’s
not fair,” he murmured into her hair. “You’re supposed to scream and protest
and make it easy to toss you in the water. But when you do that you know I’m
going to hang on to you.”

“Do
what?” She nuzzled his neck. “This?” She placed tiny kisses on his cheek. “Or
this?” She gently nipped at his jaw.

Abruptly
Zane swiveled around and walked out of the ankle-deep surf. When he reached dry
sand he let go of her legs and let them slide down his body until she touched
ground. He kept his other arm around her waist and pulled her into an embrace.

“Let’s
do this right,” he whispered against her mouth.

With
her arms still around his neck, Margo kissed him. It wasn’t a lengthy kiss or
an especially passionate one because they were both conscious of where they
were, but that didn’t lessen the impact. When Zane let her go, she stood very
still, absorbing the longing his kiss had wrought. He wasn’t any steadier than
she.