Love's Miracles (37 page)

What
she really wanted to do was ask this man to tell her everything he’d found out
about Zane. Of course, that was impossible, but he might drop information here
and there. The temptation was great, and she could even rationalize that
probing would benefit Zane in the end.

Ray
finally took a sip of his coffee. “Seems like classic stress syndrome to me.”

“Yes.
But what’s the reason? A Huey flying overhead or anything that sounded like
gunfire, that I could understand. But a song? Something traumatic happened
while it was playing. It may not even be related to the war.”

Ray
wiped his lips with the napkin and set it back in his lap. “It’s a puzzle all
right.”

“What
is your game plan tomorrow?” She could at least ask that.

“His
brother is coming up. We’ll do what we can to release Zane. I’m sure they will,
especially knowing he’s in my care.”

Margo
immediately started on a plan to see Zane. If she waited outside the city
police department, she might catch sight of him when he was released. She
doubted he’d be outright rude and refuse to talk to her – not when she
confronted him face-to-face.

The
problem with that plan was that she’d have to confront Vinnie as well. Margo
didn’t think it would be a good idea, considering how Zane’s brother felt about
her. But again, Zane’s welfare overruled the wiser course of action to take.

They
didn’t linger much longer at the café. Ray finished his meal. Margo ate a few
more bites of her hamburger, but she didn’t have much of an appetite.

After
Ray drove them back to the motel, Margo paced in her room until the walls
seemed to close in on her.

A
knock sounded at her door. To her surprise, Vinnie stood there.

“I
thought you were coming tomorrow.”

“I
flew up tonight. I’d like to talk to you. Can I come in?”

Margo
debated. After Vinnie’s earlier threats she should stay away from him, but he
was Zane’s brother. If she and Zane pursued a relationship she would eventually
have to deal with Vinnie.

“Come
on in.” She gestured toward the table by the window.

Vinnie
took off his jacket and draped it on the bed before seating himself on one of
the chairs. Wary and alert, Margo sat across from him.

Vinnie
got right to the point. “Before I talk to Zane I want to know why you’re here.”

Margo
studied his features. There was no malicious intent in his expression, simply
concern for his brother. The situation required honesty.

“I
care for Zane.” She stared into Vinnie’s face, so like his brother’s yet so
different.

“What
does this mean?”

Uncomfortable
now, Margo flushed. “You mean, am I sleeping with him?”

A
sad smile formed. “I wouldn’t blame my brother for a minute. You’re a beautiful
woman.”

“I
want it, Vinnie. Understand that. But we haven’t yet.”

“I’m
glad to know that.” He rubbed his fingers together to finally pause and form a
steeple. “But sex is not what worries me.”

Margo
played with the magazine on the table. Her relationship with Zane was too new
and too unstable to be put under scrutiny by his brother. It wasn’t fair.

“I’m
not going to be a threat to you or Zane,” Vinnie told her. “I’d never do
anything to hurt…”

Margo
interrupted. “I can understand not hurting Zane. What changed your mind about
me?”

“Zane
explained, implicitly, I might add, that your relationship was clean. But it’s
more than that. He’s a different man since you left. He started going to the
outreach center. He’s been opening up, discussing plans for the future.”

Margo’s
curiosity was aroused. Did his plans for the future include her? It took
effort, but she managed not to ask.

“Ma
and I feel your influence has turned him around. If you’re still in his life we
aren’t going to object.”

It
was a start. She relaxed her guard, but she had to make him understand.

“I
didn’t make Zane change. He did it himself. We have an interest in each other
but no commitment. In fact, today’s the first time I’ve seen him since we were
all together.”

“You
probably have a lot to offer him. A lot that he needs. But what about you?”
Vinnie asked.

“I
need him.”

“But
will you have him? After today…”

“There
will always be times like this, Vinnie. No one ever completely overcomes their
nightmares or past experiences. They just learn to cope with the onset of their
reactions.”

Vinnie
shook his head. “For years now Ma and Sara and I have hoped for a change. We
were so sure our love would reach through whatever nightmares he has. But it
didn’t. All we have is heartache and sorrow. I don’t want that for you too.”

“It’s
too late to issue warnings against loving him, Vinnie. It may not be the wisest
thing to do, but the fact is it’s already done. I do love him and I’m not going
to give up on him.”

Vinnie
reached across the table and patted her hand. “I guess you wouldn’t. You have a
reputation for being dedicated and determined.”

“And
I have a lot more at stake with Zane than I do with my patients.”

He
smiled. “If my brother has any brains in that Zanelli head of his, he’ll shape
up and listen to you. For your sake as well as Zane’s, I hope you succeed.”

“I
will. I promise you that.” Margo appreciated the support. Maybe Vinnie could
help her out. “About tomorrow. Will you see if you can get Zane to talk to me?”

“I’ll
see what I can do. I can’t make any guarantees.”

She
stood when he did. It would have to do – for now anyway. At least she could
count on Vinnie’s support. In the morning she’d decide her next course of
action, after talking to Zane.

***

The
night dragged. Nervous and restless, Margo passed the long, lonely hours pacing
in the small room. The motel had none of the old-fashioned charm of the Fort
Bragg Inn. It was standard fare with uninteresting furniture, paintings, and a
television bolted to the wall. The stale smell of cigarette smoke clung to the
carpet and drapes. Margo was never more ready for anything than she was to get
out of that room.

With
the first streaks of light on the eastern horizon, she dressed in a pink sweat
suit and headed for the beach. She hoped the crisp ocean breeze would clear the
cobwebs from her head. It would also help pass the time from the early dawn
until visiting hours at the jail.

Her
feet sank into deep sand with each thoughtful step. The breeze tossed her hair
and salt spray chilled her cheeks, but she hardly noticed. Memories haunted
her: Zane’s arm across her shoulders as it had been when they’d hiked the beach
yesterday, the same surf pounding, his laughter carrying across the water, his
smile warming her heart.

Now
she walked along the beach alone, physically free but as confined as Zane – not
by bars as he was, but by worry and a frustrating sense of helplessness.

Finally
it was time to get dressed and meet Vinnie. He’d promised to take her to
breakfast and then to the police department. There wasn’t much choice in her
wardrobe. She put on her camel slacks. After slipping on the royal blue
sweater, she had to re-comb her hair. A glance at her reflection in the mirror
made her grimace. She looked like she felt – stressed out and exhausted.

Before
she’d put on her lipstick, a knock sounded at her door. It was Vinnie.

At
the coffee shop in town, she sat on her side of the booth and studied Vinnie.
“You don’t look much more rested than I do.”

He
tried to smile. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do if he won’t
talk to you?”

“Only
all night. I won’t give up.”

“I
didn’t figure you would.” He bit into his toast. “What I’ll do is try and get
him released. If I pay off the inn they should drop the charges.”

“Can
you talk him into moving back to the city? They have an outreach program
there.”

He
bit off another piece of toast and chewed for a few minutes. “I’ll try. If he
won’t come, I’ll get him back to his place. At least I’ll know he’ll be all
right there.”

“If
that happens, I’ll go on back to the city.”

Through
the rest of the meal, which neither of them ate completely, Margo pictured Zane
in the city. His presence would be both a blessing and a trial.

At
the police station she waited another endless hour. Her efforts to look nice
and remain positive were for naught. Zane absolutely refused to see her.

“What
did he say?” she asked when Vinnie and Ray Smith came out to tell her.

“You
don’t want to hear it.”

Tears
backed up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She turned to Vinnie.
“Tell him…” She paused, took a deep breath, and tried again. “You know what to
say.”

Vinnie
nodded. Sympathy clouded his features, but that was all he could offer. “You’d
better head on back to the Bay Area,” he advised. “I’ll talk to him. I can’t
promise, but I’ll try to get him home.”

It
wasn’t until she made it outside the police department that she lost control.
Tears blinded her as she fumbled with the lock of her car. Once inside, she
leaned her head on the steering wheel and let the tears come. After several
minutes of self-indulgence she swiped at the tracks of moisture and shifted
into gear.

The
powerful car moved with ease. She sank back into the seat and focused on the
luxurious feel of the soft upholstery – anything to get her mind off of Zane.
She
hadn’t failed.
Zane would come to the city. If not, he’d call her again.
That thought kept her going all the way into the Bay Area.

By
mid-afternoon she arrived in Berkeley. Instead of heading home, she decided to
drop by her mother’s apartment. She should be back from her conference by now.

Surprise
showed on Bettina’s face when she opened the door to her daughter. “Your note
said you wouldn’t be home until this evening. Where’d you go?”

“You
won’t believe what I’ve been through.” Margo slid out of her jacket as she
entered the foyer. “Zane was…”

She
paused when she spotted Fred sitting on the couch. Why was he here? Certainly
not to discuss her, she hoped.

“Hello,
Margo.” Curiosity showed in his eyes. He sat stiff and alert.

“Good
to see you, Fred.” She was sorry she hadn’t noticed him sooner, before she’d
mentioned Zane.

“Did
you go to Fort Bragg?” Fred asked.

Bettina
brought a cup of coffee for Margo and handed it to her. The look of concern in
her mother’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed. Margo took a sip of coffee and mentally
braced for the grilling she knew she was about to get. Neither Fred nor her
mother disappointed her.

Margo
endured the lecture from her mother and from Fred. They had every right to
their anger and she knew they’d feel better after they vented it. She sat and
listened, wishing she could absorb the energy flying her way.

Fred
looked at Bettina and rubbed his fingers through his hair. “Can you believe
this? No reaction. She pulls a stunt like that and then just sits there.”

“Tell
us what happened,” Bettina asked, ignoring Fred’s complaint.

Margo
explained as much as she could without going into detail about Zane’s blowup.
“So you see, because of my feelings for him, I went up there.”

“Well,
you’re not going up there again.” Fred stood and paced, something he rarely
did. “You’re crazy to risk your license.”

“I
agree with Fred,” Bettina joined in. “You aren’t doing him or yourself any
good.”

“It
doesn’t matter what you think.” Margo leaned back into the cushions of the
couch. “I care for him.”

Both
Fred and Bettina fastened her with stunned gazes. She ignored them and took a
sip of coffee, almost gagging on the strong taste.
Fred must have made it
,
she thought.

“Vinnie’s
going to try and get Zane down here today. If he doesn’t come, I’m planning to
visit him up north.”

Fred
slammed his coffee mug onto the table. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve
heard from you since this whole Zanelli business began.”

Margo
glanced at her mother to see her reaction. Bettina didn’t say a word but
trained a disconcerting gaze on her daughter. Margo sighed, knowing her mother
must be formulating all kinds of arguments. She didn’t disappoint her.

“Do
you plan to date him?” she asked. “You haven’t forgotten the law?”

“I’m
not dating him. We just spent the day together – talking.”

Fred
swiveled around. “You’ve been gone since yesterday morning.”

Bettina
sighed. “
Cher.
I hate to see you become involved in a relationship with
a man who has problems.”

Margo
closed her eyes and willed patience. “Who doesn’t have problems? For heaven’s
sake, he’s not a basket case.”