Love's Stormy Gale (Heartsong Presents) (5 page)

Chapter 6

O
livia stared at the envelope. “Dad.”

“Go ahead.” Pop placed a hand on her shoulder, and its warm strength did battle with her pounding heart. “You read it. Jonathan and I’ll see to supper.” The hand lifted. Heavy steps left the entryway.

She didn’t venture to meet Jonathan’s eyes. “Did you know?”

He drew a ragged breath. “Yeah, I knew Robby had written you a letter.”

Olivia reached for the envelope. “I’ll go read it.” At last she glanced at him. Their fingers touched, a gentle pressure through the paper as Jonathan kept her hand in his. Shadowed eyes revealed nothing. His stubble of beard made him appear older and tired.

She wanted him to smile for her, to reassure her that this letter would serve to remind her of the special place Robby once had in her life. Yet a gnawing began in her stomach.

Stop it
. What harm could it be, reading a letter written by a dead man? But what did Robby have to tell her that he needed to put in a letter? He’d never been given to letter writing.

“I’ll be here.” He released her hand and the letter. Her hand felt cold without his touch.

Olivia turned and climbed the stairs to her room. Shutting the door with a firm click, she settled onto her bed. Should she rip into the envelope? Or should she open it carefully to respect Robby’s memory? And what would she want to do with the letter after reading its contents?

Within seconds, the letter lay unfolded on her lap. Olivia filled her lungs with air, then began to read:

Dear Liv,

Tomorrow I head out for another month. But I can’t leave without telling you how much you mean to me. You’re a wonderful young woman with a bright future ahead of you.

I think we should call off the wedding and step back to take a look at things. For the past year it’s been all you’ve talked about and focused on. You need to make sure you’re going to be happy spending your life waiting for a guy like me to come home to you all the time. After the wedding, it’s back to the same old, same old.

I don’t want you feeling like you settled for less than God’s best for you. I know God watches over us, but we never know when we will lose loved ones. I couldn’t bear leaving you if I knew you’d spent your life loving me more than anything else.

I hope you understand. I love you, but I don’t want you missing out on something better. If you need help with the wedding stuff, ask Mom. I know she’ll help out canceling orders. We’ll talk more when I get back.

Love,

Robby

He’d wanted to call off the wedding? How could Robby have thought she’d be settling?

The words squeaked out. “I can’t believe it.” Olivia flopped onto her back.

How ironic. Olivia remembered she had indeed canceled the caterer, the musicians, the florist. Frances had been too numb after the shipwreck to offer much help, although while planning the wedding Frances had tried to push her own ideas until Olivia was ready to scream.

She also remembered she’d closed herself off and shut down her emotions when Robby’s boat was lost. She hadn’t even cried at the memorial service. When a young woman had needed a wedding gown in a hurry, Olivia had given her the dress without a qualm. She no longer felt attached to a dream dress that she would never wear.

What difference would it have made if she’d found it back when his boat was lost? Would she have even left Fairport and tried to start a new life?

She rolled onto her stomach, burying her face in the comforter, inhaling the scent of fabric softener.

“What does he mean that I was so focused on the wedding for that whole year? How dare he?” She had done everything a good fisherman’s woman was supposed to do. She’d waited, she’d prayed. She hadn’t complained. What else was there for her to do besides work on her degrees and plan a wedding?

She sat up, glaring at the paper on the floor. Robby had made her sound as if she’d been smothering him and had been superficial for focusing on their wedding. Of course, all brides were caught up in the moment. Olivia shook her head. He’d wanted to postpone the wedding.

Not that it mattered now.

* * *

“So what will it be? Pot roast or meat loaf? I’m throwing a stir-fry dinner in the microwave for Liv.” Sam’s thick upper torso was hidden behind the freezer door, but the top of his shaggy gray head appeared over the top.

“Pot roast.” Jonathan watched the older man open the frozen dinner boxes.

By the time the meals were heated through, Jonathan learned more than he thought he’d ever want to know about lobstering. Sam Shea had to be lonely. Never had he heard the fisherman say so much in one stretch of time.

His thoughts remained with Liv upstairs. On the
Lady Jane
’s last trip Robby had mentioned he’d come to some decisions on their relationship.

“Here you are.” Sam slid the pot roast dinner onto a plate. “Guess we’ll eat now. Liv will come down when she’s ready.”

Jonathan was halfway through his meal when he heard Olivia’s footsteps on the stairs. Sam continued to eat as though he’d heard nothing.

Olivia’s smile warmed his heart, but her blotchy cheeks made his gut tighten. “Are you all right?”

“I’ll be okay.” She glanced at her father, then took her seat at the weathered table.

“Your dinner’s in the oven. I gave you the stir fry,” Sam said around a mouthful.

“Thanks.” After sitting down with her meal, Liv bowed her head briefly, then picked up her fork. “Robby sent the letter because he wanted to call off the wedding...indefinitely.” Her brown eyes glistened as she took a bite of rice.

Jonathan had clenched a hand into a fist before he realized it. He’d let Sam speak first. The older man chewed his bite, not looking up from his plate.

If Jonathan had Robby here right now, he’d be tempted to slug the guy. Robby never had gotten around to saying what he’d decided about Liv. What had changed Robby’s mind? Liv could be a little intense sometimes, but her passion for life had always appealed to Jonathan.

Even after taking a sip of his iced tea, Jonathan waited for Sam to speak. But maybe Robby hadn’t really wanted to marry Olivia at all. The thought struck him like a punch.

Jonathan recalled the morning Robby had announced the engagement. The two of them were hosing down the deck of the
Lady Jane
.

“Liv’s wanting to get married, so I went ahead and asked her,” was what Robby had said. “She didn’t come out and say it, but I could tell.”

From that point on, Olivia had run the show. Even at the time, Jonathan had told Robby he should have made more of an effort with the proposal. Cold feet, indeed.

The sound of Olivia’s voice jolted him back.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“Did you know Robby was calling off the wedding? You said you knew about the letter.” Her voice sounded hard.

“No. I didn’t know he’d said that.” Jonathan refused to tear his gaze from hers. “Robby said he’d made some decisions about the relationship, but he never got the chance to tell me.” He unclenched his fist, wanting nothing more than to move to Olivia’s side of the table and take her in his arms.

Sam sighed. “It’s a shock, and it’s a shame. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t want to knock some sense into Robby if I could right about now.” He patted Olivia’s hand. “But what’s done is done. Can’t go back. All you can do is go ahead.”

“Thanks, Dad. You’re right. And Jon, I’m glad you’re here.” Olivia focused on her supper.

Sam pushed back from the table. “Of course we’re here for you. I’m going to put my plate in the sink and catch the news, and let you young people be. I’m sure you’ve got some things to talk about.”

What an understatement. Jonathan took the last bite of his meal.

After they cleared the dishes from the table, Liv refilled their iced tea glasses. Jonathan took that as a hint for him to stay.

“Do you want to sit on the porch? Dad and I like to go out there some evenings.” Her eyes looked like sweet chocolate.

“Sure.” His palms had gone sweaty again, but it was probably because of the wet glass.

The July sun was swiftly disappearing to the west, lighting the street in a midsummer glow. A salty breeze drifted through the air. Jonathan would never tire of the smell.

They sat side by side on the ancient porch swing, just like Olivia and Robby had sat side by side after they’d started seeing each other long ago. Jonathan remembered leaving earlier after supper back then. He’d felt like a fifth wheel.

“You doing better?”

Olivia nodded.

“Good.”

Then she sighed. “I just...”

“What?”

“I just wonder if I was as all-consumed by the wedding as Robby said I was...and so totally focused on him that I didn’t see anyone or anything else.” She sipped her tea, then let the ice cubes swirl around the glass.

Jonathan wanted to choose his words carefully. “Does it matter now?”

“No, not really. I just wonder if I knew him as well as I thought I did. He seemed excited to be getting married.” Olivia studied her tea glass. “I mean, aren’t grooms supposed to be?”

“Uh, I would guess so.” Jonathan cleared his throat. “I mean, it’s not like some of the stuff women worry about is a big deal to us guys.”

“True. I know that. He fell asleep one night here on the couch when I was showing him bridesmaids’ dress ideas.” Olivia smiled, then laughed. “I guess I did obsess a little.”

But Robby had been almost nonchalant about the proposal and everything. A man shouldn’t be nonchalant concerning the woman he loved. Jonathan pondered that for a moment. He didn’t see the point in bringing
that
up now.

“What?” She nudged him. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Jonathan shrugged. “He just didn’t seem that gung ho about getting married. I shouldn’t say anything. It doesn’t really matter much now, not that either one of us can do anything about it.”

“Not gung ho about getting married?” Olivia shook her head. “I know he was pretty laid-back about many things, but...” She sealed her lips into a thin line.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Robby was a good man and he did love you.”

“Just not enough, apparently.”

Jonathan sighed. Here was the chance he’d once longed for, and a chance he’d surrendered when he saw the sparks fly between Robby and Olivia years ago. Physical romance didn’t necessarily guarantee commitment and a lot of couples skipped that commitment.

He reached out, touched her silken hair.

* * *

Olivia could hardly form her words at the sensations bubbling inside her at the mere caress of Jonathan’s hand to her hair. His dark features were inches from her head, the rough stubble on his face begged her to touch it.

Then he put his glass down and she was able to breathe again. She followed suit, glad to put the glass in a safe place. If she were any more distracted she’d drop it.

“What is it?” Jonathan settled back onto the swing, this time settling his arm around her shoulder.

She shook her head. She wouldn’t fall apart in front of him. Then the warmth of his arm was behind her again, and Olivia leaned into its security. She sniffed.

“Go ahead,” his husky voice whispered, inches from her left ear.

“What?”

“Cry. I know I did.”

Olivia sat upright and stared at him. “Jonathan...I...”

Jonathan turned to face her, offering her a place in the circle of his arms. Olivia accepted the invitation, burying her face in his shoulder. He smelled of the sea and aftershave.

A sob made Olivia shudder, but Jonathan’s arms around her told her she was safe. For the first time since the evening of the storm, Olivia felt like she had her old friend back. Except the old friendship was carried on a current of something new. She felt her shoulders tense.

“What is it?” Jonathan stroked her hair with one hand.

“I’m not sure how to say this.” Olivia shifted to her place on the swing. What if she opened her mouth and said the wrong thing, and the sweetness of this healing moment was lost?

“Hey, it’s me here. We’ve known each other a long time.” Jonathan left his arm around her.

“I know. And that’s why I’m afraid, but I’ll say it anyway. I feel like something’s happening between us. And I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Don’t worry about it. If God is circling our paths closer together, then so be it.” Then his smile lit the early evening, its shine affecting her the way no glow of fireflies could ever do.

Now Jonathan was close enough so she could feel his breath on her face. What would it be like to have him kiss her? She resisted the urge to lick her lips. A strong hand caught her around the waist, pulling her still closer.

The porch light clicked on, and Olivia blinked. Her father stuck his head out the door.

“Er, I’m heading upstairs now. Make sure you lock up.” Then he gave Jonathan a nod before closing the door.

Olivia released her breath and giggled. “What timing.”

Jonathan stood and stretched, then took her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Ah, Miss Shea, if I kissed you now, I’d scratch your face.”

Olivia wanted to reply that a scratched face was the least of her concerns. “And?”

“When I do kiss you, I’ll make sure I’ve shaved first.” Then he winked at her, fishing his keys from his pocket. “I need to leave now. Morning comes early.”

“Oh. Right.” Olivia mustered a feeble wave as Jonathan climbed into his Jeep and left.

* * *

Jonathan turned the corner and groaned. What had happened back there? All he’d done was show up with a plastic lobster, and nearly ended the evening sharing a kiss with Olivia. Smiley had turned into quite a peace offering. He allowed himself a grin at that.

No, it was Robby’s stupid letter. If Olivia hadn’t found that letter, none of them would have known about Robby’s decision to call off the wedding. Then he wouldn’t have ended up comforting Olivia on the porch.

“Dummy.” Jonathan glared at his reflection in the rearview mirror. He hoped he hadn’t crossed any unmarked lines tonight. Having the chance to comfort Olivia and encourage her was an answer to a prayer. Yet where did friendship end and something more begin?