Loving (6 page)

DeMetri thought for a long moment. “Coach Schroeder has college experience.” He gave the slightest shrug. “He’d be good, I guess.”

“He’d be great. Plus he lives in Lyle and he loves it there.”

“What?” Smitty looked shocked, but already the sparkle was back in his eyes. “You don’t love Lyle?”

“Of course I do.” Cody chuckled. “But I never planned to live there.” He hesitated. “Coach Schroeder … he’d coach the team for the next two decades if he could.”

They started walking again, in less of a hurry than before. “Coach S’ll do good,” Smitty shot a slow, crooked grin in Cody’s direction. “Must be nice, Coach. Getting big time offers from other schools.” He puffed out his chest. “Just don’t forget … we made you famous.”

Laughter filled the air between them, and Smitty put his arm around Cody’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, Coach. I know what you’re thinking. We didn’t have anything to do with it, right?”

“That, and the fact that I’m not famous.” Cody was grateful the kid wasn’t still mad at him. “God did everything. Through Him and for His glory.”

“His way.”

“Exactly.” Cody grinned and for a few seconds he relived the phone call. He had an offer on the table from Clear Creek High School in Bloomington and now this — a job possibility at Oaks Christian.

DeMetri removed his arm from Cody’s shoulders and quickened his pace. “I wanna catch the lunch crowd at the café.”

“We already ate.” Cody kept up with the kid. “Don’t tell me you’re hungry again.”

“Actually, I am.” DeMetri winked at him. “But I sorta want to see the kids, you know? Make sure I fit in.”

For an instant Cody felt a flicker of heartache. He realized how much he’d miss the kid, miss the way he could brighten any room or lighten any mood. Miss having him around the apartment. “You’ll fit in, Smitty. Like I said … fifty friends, easy.”

“But what about a best friend, Coach … you think I’ll find a best friend?”

“Of course.” He elbowed the kid. “They’ll be lining up for the spot.”

“I don’t know.” DeMetri laughed. “I hope you’re right.”

They reached the café, and a couple of girls from the English class approached them. In no time they invited DeMetri and Cody to their packed table. Cody kept quiet while Smitty and the other students got to know each other. No, the kid wouldn’t have a problem. Cody was sure.

As the day played out, Cody was even less concerned about Smitty’s transition. Rather, he was concerned for himself, for the next step in his coaching career, and the decision he needed to make about where he would work. If he stayed in Lyle, he would forever see Cheyenne along the sidelines of their practice field, forever feel the memory of a beautiful girl whose life was cut short far too soon.

He could move to Bloomington, but there the memories would be worse.

It was a fact that made the phone call from Edwin Baylor very interesting. A move to Thousand Oaks outside Los Angeles might be the perfect solution. A few high school friends had wound up in Los Angeles, and last he’d heard Andi Ellison and her parents lived there too, though he hadn’t talked to her since she left Bloomington. Of course, Bailey and Brandon would be there, but that didn’t really impact his decision one way or the other. He doubted he’d run into them teaching and coaching. Yes, the move to Southern California was definitely a possibility. But, if he was supposed to take the Thousand Oaks position, he had the same question Smitty had. Not whether he’d fit in, but whether or not he would ever find a real friend.

B
AILEY NEEDED TO TALK TO
B
RANDON SOONER THAN LATER.

He wasn’t going to like what she had to say, and her heart hurt over what lay ahead. But she couldn’t wait any longer. He had an open afternoon that day, and the two of them planned to meet at Will Rogers Beach — Bailey’s new favorite spot. If they came in two different cars, they’d have a better chance of avoiding the paparazzi. They’d figured out that pictures of the two of them were much preferred by the media over either of them alone.

Bailey ran the towel once more over the clean kitchen countertop at Katy and Dayne’s beach house. More than twenty-four hours had passed since Bailey had turned down the teacher part, but Brandon had worked late last night and this morning in the editing room with the production team from his New York movie. His busy schedule had given her more time to think, time to pray with Katy privately last night. And now — just a day after reading the script — she was sure she’d rushed her decision to move to LA. No matter how strong her feelings for Brandon.

Underlining the point were the two talks she’d had this week with Brandon’s agent, Sid Chandler. Sid felt certain the right part would come along, but each time they spoke he treated her with a little more condescension. “You’re very picky, Bailey,” he’d told her yesterday over the phone. Like he was trying to hide his frustration. “You agreed to take the NTM role, and then you back out. Brandon told me you’d be selective, but I didn’t expect anything like this.”

The comment confused her. “I’m no pickier than Brandon.”
She didn’t want to fight with the guy, but she wasn’t sure what he expected.

“Well, now, I wouldn’t say that.” Sid seemed sure of himself. “I know Brandon. He’s an actor first. Ultimately, he will be open to a lot of different roles, no matter what his contract eventually reads. That’s why West Mark’s willing to be patient with him.” He paused. “Something to think about if you plan to work in this business. Don’t confuse art with morality. Many times the two aren’t exactly in sync. Walking away from a part will only hurt your reputation in the business.”

His comments hurt, and now as she added soap to the dishwasher Bailey found herself analyzing them. She knew Brandon better than Sid knew him. He wanted creative control because he didn’t want to make movies that compromised his faith. Sure, movies could deal with difficult topics and show the reality of hard issues facing the current culture. But Brandon wouldn’t cross certain lines, no matter what Sid Chandler thought.

Bailey caught her long hair at the back of her neck and pulled a hair tie over it. The ponytail felt good, since her hair was still damp from the shower. She’d cleaned the kitchen and dining room earlier that morning and now she had half an hour before meeting up with Brandon. She poured a glass of water and was heading toward the back deck when Katy and little Sophie came through the front door. Their eyes met and instantly Bailey knew something was going on. The two had known each other long enough that Bailey could read her friend’s eyes.

“What’s up?” Bailey moved to Katy and took Sophie from her.

“Hold on.” Katy set her bag down and began to make a quick tray of sandwich bites for Sophie. Along the way she stopped to stretch her back. She was five months pregnant now, and it looked like she was carrying a small soccer ball. They’d just found out they were having a boy, and Sophie often patted her mommy’s tummy so she could talk to her brother.

While Katy worked to get Sophie situated, she looked back at Bailey. “It’s so weird. I mean, we prayed about this yesterday and then today … today I get this crazy call from my CKT director back home.”

Katy and Dayne owned Christian Kids Theater in Bloomington. They’d bought the business and the local theater with the intent of running it, but then they’d moved to Los Angeles to be involved in the development of Christian films. At this point they only attended CKT meetings a few times a year. Especially now that Katy was pregnant with their second child.

When Sophie was in her high chair eating, Bailey and Katy sat across from each other at the table. “So …” Bailey’s heart beat harder than before.

“My director is quitting. She’ll be around for another week, and then she’s moving to Chicago.” Katy sat back and crossed her arms. “We should probably sell it, what with this little one on the way.” She rested her hand on her abdomen. “But I can’t rush into a decision like that.” She looked straight at Bailey. “Basically I need a director in a hurry. Someone to take over before we audition for the spring show in a week.”

A week?
Bailey swallowed. “So what were you thinking?”

“Well,” Katy handed Sophie her cup of milk. “What are
you
thinking? You still see yourself moving back at some point?”

“Probably.” Bailey felt a wave of sadness. “I haven’t talked to Brandon yet. I go back and forth. We can handle long distance, but it’s not ideal.” She let out a shaky sigh. “At the same time … this isn’t where I want to be.” She stopped herself, dizzy and sick over the way the pieces seemed to swirl around. “All I’m sure about is Brandon.”

“Good.” Katy let that settle. “He loves you … very much.”

“I love him too.” Bailey’s stomach still hurt at the thought of leaving him. She stared at the floor. What did her willingness to
leave say about her? If she loved Brandon, shouldn’t she be willing to stay? To sacrifice?

Katy leaned her forearms on the table so she was closer to Bailey, her eyes kind and understanding. “What are you thinking?”

“I should be willing to stay.” She hesitated. “I mean, isn’t that what love’s supposed to look like? Two people sacrificing everything for each other?”

Katy’s smile was gentle. She didn’t need to answer, really. After all, Katy had made the sacrifice to move to LA for Dayne. Her answer took a few seconds, and during that time she gave Sophie some broken pieces of a graham cracker. The little girl was being so quiet she almost seemed caught up in the conversation. Katy faced Bailey. “Sometimes love looks like that.”

Bailey hated this, feeling so scattered. One minute certain she should leave LA and return to Bloomington, take time to think through her life. The next desperate to stay here or wherever Brandon might be. She leaned her elbow on the table. “What’s that mean? Sometimes?”

Again Katy took her time. “I remember when I was dead set against living here.” A sad, quiet laugh came from her. “It wasn’t really about LA or Bloomington for me. Back then … I loved Dayne, but I was scared too. I wasn’t sure if I could spend the rest of my life in the limelight. I guess … love changed my mind.”

The truth in Katy’s words wrapped itself around Bailey and helped her see clearly for the first time in days. She loved Brandon, but did she love him enough to live in LA? To spend the rest of her life with him wherever that might be?

“See …” A new depth shone in Katy’s eyes. “When you love someone for life, when your souls are at rest because they’ve spent a lifetime searching for each other, the places become irrelevant.”

“Hmmm.” Bailey blinked and stared out the back window at the distant sea.

“Because when you love like that, just being with that person
means you’re home.” Her smile filled her face. “Home becomes a person, not a place.”

Bailey and Brandon had discussed that very truth only a few months ago. She stood and hugged Katy. “Thank you.” She pulled back and looked into her friend’s eyes. “I needed to hear that.”

“It’s okay to not be sure.” Katy’s tone remained empathetic. “God will show you, Bailey.”

“Whether it hurts or not.” Bailey stepped back as Sophie clapped her hands and then slapped them on her high-chair tray. Bailey leaned down and kissed the little girl’s cheek. “When you’re older, listen to your mommy, Soph. She’ll know what you need.”

Katy looked touched. “Thank you.” She stood and ran her hand over her daughter’s head, then paused. “If your decision really takes you back to Bloomington — even for a season — we’ll miss you. But in the meantime, I need a director by Monday. Just so you know.”

A smile warmed Bailey’s heart. “It would be an honor.” So many memories were tied up with the Bloomington theater and her time performing with CKT. Her and Connor auditioning for one play after another and Katy directing them, like that chapter in their lives would never end. But the one thing she couldn’t do was rush into taking the position, thinking that just because the opportunity came along it was God’s plan for her life. Instead she would take her time … talk to Brandon and pray. Maybe then the answers would be clearer.

Bailey grabbed her purse and gave Katy another quick hug. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“You’re meeting him?”

“If I can use your car again, yes.” She breathed in deep, steadying herself. “Pray for us.”

B
AILEY CALLED HIM ON THE WAY
to Will Rogers State Beach,
where she’d read the script and talked to her mom just the day before. “I’m on my way.”

“Okay.” Brandon hesitated. “You sound upset.”

“I’m sorry.” Bailey tightened her hand on the wheel. “I’ve been talking to Katy. About LA and Bloomington.” She was quiet for a moment. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“Hmmm.” Concern weighed heavy in his tone. “Should I be worried?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure about anything.” She sighed. “I just need to see you, that’s all.”

Twenty minutes of traffic later, Bailey pulled into the Will Rogers parking lot and saw Brandon’s car parked close to the sand. His was the only one in the lot.

They were alone for now. Somehow the paparazzi must have missed him, or maybe they couldn’t be bothered to hunt down celebrities at midday.
Thank you, God. We need this … please, give me wisdom, help us both hear Your voice
.

She parked next to his newly leased gray BMW, the latest in a series of vehicles he rotated through in an attempt to confuse the paparazzi. Her chest felt too tight to breathe deeply, so she didn’t try. Instead she grabbed two water bottles from the backseat and stepped out of the car. The smell of saltwater was rich in the afternoon air, the sunshine on her shoulders warmer than it had been since last fall.

A strong wind blew off the Pacific, and Bailey shaded her eyes as she scanned the beach. She didn’t see him at first, but then she spotted him on the lifeguard tower. He was standing at the railing, staring out at the water. His body language told her that he was deep in thought, as if maybe he had an idea about why she wanted to meet, how she was feeling unsure about staying in Los Angeles.

She set out across the sand, glad when the wind let up a little. He seemed to sense her presence, because he turned her direction when she was only part way to him. Without hesitating, he started
down the stairs toward her. He stopped when they were a few feet apart, lost in her eyes. He looked broken, terrified of whatever she had come here to tell him. Their last conversation must’ve really made him think. But in a move that was classic Brandon, he smiled and seemed to force himself to let go of his fears. Then he pulled her into a hug that lasted a long time. Warm in his arms, Bailey doubted herself more than she had all week.

“This must be serious,” he slid his face alongside hers, their cheeks brushing lightly together. He kissed her slowly, with a desperation she’d never seen in him. “Everything’s okay, baby.” He searched her face. “It is.”

She allowed herself to live in his eyes for a long moment, but just when she was going to tell him about her thoughts of maybe returning to Bloomington, she heard the sound of cars screeching into the parking lot. “No!” She grabbed his arm and together they ran for their cars. “Why does this always happen?”

Brandon took the lead and kept to her pace. By the time they reached their cars, ten yards away the photographers squealed up in two sedans. They spilled out and grabbed cameras from the trunk and backseat.

“Use my car,” Brandon shouted, running with her toward the passenger door. The wind had picked up again and it was hard to hear above the sound. “Get in. I can lose them.”

A scream rose in her throat but she swallowed it as she slid into the seat and he slammed the door. He ran around the front of the car, they had their cameras up. “Brandon, don’t leave! Let us get some pictures,” one of them yelled. “Why do you run? We always catch you.”

Bailey slid lower in her seat, her heart pounding. She hated this, being chased whenever they were in public. She didn’t have it in her to fake a smile, which meant the story would be about them breaking up. She couldn’t handle that. Especially now, when
she was trying to decide whether she could stay another week in Los Angeles.

Brandon jumped into the driver’s seat, started the engine, and sped into a squealing U-turn away from them. Bailey looked over her shoulder and watched them run back to their cars. “They’re gonna follow us.”

“I’ll lose them.” He sounded angry. “I said I would, Bailey.”

She sat back in her seat, shaken. He’d never talked to her like this, so what was happening between them? He sped across the parking lot and made a dramatic right turn on Pacific Coast Highway. She had no idea where he was going, but it didn’t matter. Suddenly the photographers chasing them weren’t nearly as important as one very obvious detail.

The question marks sucking the oxygen out of his BMW.