Loving Ean (The Fae Guard Book 2) (17 page)

I’M STANDING IN THE
hall, staring at Ean’s door, trying to calm myself down enough to go in with a level head. This man seriously knows how to piss me the fuck off.

He practically left skid marks on my floor with how fast he shot out of my apartment the other morning. I could have sworn that something shifted the night before, that we’d taken a step forward after being caught in limbo for so long. I’d felt his pain so acutely, and when I saw him in the hall, he looked so lost, completely shredded. His soul was bleeding. I was afraid he wouldn’t let me be there for him, so when he didn’t resist, I was utterly relieved.

That was the first night since he broke it off that we connected on an emotional level, instead of physical. The wall he built to keep me out had crumbled, and our souls connected again, fitting together, making us both whole. Then in the morning, that wall was back up, thicker and taller than ever.

I guess I got it wrong.

I spent the day training and trying to take my mind off of the freaky amusement-park-fun-house that is my life. It worked for a while, especially when training Shaylee. She has excelled incredibly fast and I brought Brannon in to train with her, working on isolating and controlling one ability at a time. When Aden got home and came to the training room, the boost in her power from their fated connection caught her off guard and she almost skewered Brannon with icicles. At the time, it scared the ever loving crap out of me. I just barely got enough heated air and fire to melt, and evaporate them. Afterwards, the incident had us in stitches.

Aden trampled over me and hauled Shaylee out to do things I don’t even want to think about in the context of my brother.
Ew! Ew! Ew! You’re going to need an acid bath for your brain if you keep going down that path.

I’d scheduled Shaylee for the rest of the afternoon so I was left to twiddle my thumbs. Not exactly an ideal situation when you’re trying to keep your mind occupied. Brannon and I began to clean up, and after a few minutes of silence, I noticed the frown line puckering on his forehead. It’s incredibly rare to see Brannon without a smile and a twinkle in his baby blues. I was about to ask him if everything was alright when Kendrix strolled in and clocked our scowling faces. He announced that the three of us were going to Rock Falls and getting completely wasted. After poker night, I wasn’t very keen on another hangover, so I decided to keep the drinking to a minimum, but enjoy a night out with the boys.

I wanted to make the most of the situation, so I went all out to get myself in a partying mood. I piled my hair on top of my head with some loose tendrils hanging down to accent the silver and emerald feathers hanging from my ears. After slipping into a deep green, loose cotton shirt that dipped low off of one shoulder, I put on dark blue skinny jeans that made my ass look great and my legs look long. Smoky eyes, pink-glossed lips, and some black “fuck me” boots, and I was ready to let the boys take me out on the town.

While I was getting ready, I got a text from Ean telling (
telling,
not asking. The jackass) me to be at my apartment at eight so we “could talk.” I replied that I had plans. When my phone pinged again with another text, I put it on silent, and tossed it into my little black clutch.

Brannon and Kendrix met me out front, both letting out wolf whistles and cat calls, so I spun around, showing myself off. “Ean’s going to flip—”Brannon’s comment goes unfinished when Kendrix digs an elbow into his ribs, glaring at him.

We all piled into Kendrix’s sleek, silver Audi, and set off for the bar, pretending the moment never happened, which was fine by me. Apparently, we all needed to blow off some steam, so we started out with a round of shots. Many rounds of shots, and a whole lot of dancing later, my plan not to get shit faced had long since departed the
I Got This
station, dropping me off in the land of
I Don’t Give a Fuck,
along the way.

Brannon’s house is a short walk from Rock Falls, so we’d intended to all crash there. However, when closing time rolled around at one in the morning (seems early but things around here close up shop before it gets really dark), Phin offered to see me home. I liked the idea of collapsing in my own bed so I’d agreed. He helped me stumble out to his huge, red truck, and when we reached the passenger side it was clear I’d never make it up on my own. Phin laughed and lifted my giggling ass into the seat.

After climbing into the driver’s seat, Phin started the truck and pulled out onto the road. I leaned helplessly against the side of the door, the angle giving me a good vantage point to gawk at him. “You know,” I started, my speech remarkably clear for my level of inebriation. “You’re really hot.” Phin glanced at me, his eyebrows lifted in astonishment before he started laughing. “You think so?” he asked.

“I’m just saying,” I mused thoughtfully, “I can’t imagine you have a hard time getting a date.”

Phin shook his head, clearly not taking me seriously.

“If I wasn’t hung up on that colossal fucktard, I think I’d be interested.” I threw my hands up in aggravation, “But, what the hell do I know? My logic is clearly impaired since I can’t seem to stop acting like his own personal amusement ride. Always open, unlimited rides, no ticket necessary, and I’ll see you the next time you need to take your mind off of your troubles.”

Phin’s face had gone grim, his mouth turned down, and his hands gripping the steering wheel tight. He didn’t say anything, so I fell silent for the rest of the drive. It’s a short trip from the bar to the training center, but even so, by the time we arrived, some of the fog from the alcohol had dissipated.

Leaning over, I’d kissed his cheek, then opened my door to exit the truck. Before I could attempt to jump down, he was there, lifting me to the ground. He stepped back to let me get by, but kept a close watch making sure I wouldn’t tumble over. With every passing minute, I was losing some of my buzz, so I didn’t need assistance.

When I was almost to the entrance, I turned back to see him leaning against the front of the truck, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, watching me. “I’ll wait for you to get inside,” he explained. I thought he was done but he quickly added, “We’ve been friends a long time, Laila. You know, I’m always here for you.
Anything
you need, ok?”

I couldn’t help smiling at him. “Thanks, Phin.” In a moment of sobriety, I barked out a humorless laugh. “Right now, I’ve got to help myself.”

With that, I trekked into the building and took the elevator up to my floor. Just as I was putting the keys into the lock, Ean’s door opened and he stood there, staring at me. His face was impassive, giving nothing away, except for his eyes. There was a riot of turbulence in the dark blue, anger being at the forefront. He looked sexy, as always, even in bare feet, sweats and a fitted black t-shirt. I sighed and kept on my task of getting inside. Just before the door closed, I heard him speak. “You were out with Phin?” he inquired quietly. I didn’t miss the steel undertone, hinting at his displeasure over the situation.

I returned his watchful gaze while I contemplated how to answer. I didn’t owe him an explanation, but I found that I didn’t particularly care about his reaction either. Later, I would congratulate myself on taking that first step away from him. “I was out with Brannon and Kendrix. Phin offered me a ride home so I didn’t have to crash at Brannon’s place.”

He chewed on that for a minute, his jaw working, then he ran a hand through his already tousled hair and blew out a frustrated breath. “You could have called me; I would’ve come to get you.” My heart melted a little, until he opened his trap again and ruined the moment, “Or better yet, you could have answered my texts. I told you we needed to talk.”

Take another step, Laila. One more step in a new direction.

“And, I told you I had plans. I put my phone on silent so that I could enjoy my night.” Mentally, I took a big gulp before going on, “I can’t let my world revolve around you anymore, Ean.”

He’s so good at hiding his emotions from the rest of the world, but I know him too well. I saw the flash of bewildered shock in his eyes. I know he never expected me to distance myself, he always assumed that our break would come from him. That’s the problem though, isn’t it? I was exhausted and ready to drop, so I gave him a small, tremulous smile, and went inside, shutting the door without looking back.

Then yesterday, I was regretting a whole lot of my decisions, starting with letting tweedledum and tweedledummer get me drunk. I grabbed some aspirin, chugged a bottle of water and got ready for the day. Shaylee met me in the training room, entirely too chipper, and making me want to put her in a muzzle. I didn’t need the reminder that she had a healthy sex life, or the reminder that it was with my brother.
Eww.
Even her ridiculous t-shirt that said,
THIS IS MY SELFIE T-SHIRT,
didn’t make me laugh.
Much.
Hangovers are the surest way for you to get an A+ in Bitch 101.

My attitude loosened up as we worked out. I was sweating out the alcohol and the obnoxious twat that had taken up residence in my brain. When Shaylee invited me to lunch, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to subject myself to any more of her cheeriness. Eventually, I agreed, though not without a warning to dial down the “I got laid” vibe.

We went to Bridget’s, a cute little fifties diner in town. Once we were seated, Shaylee asked, “Laila, What was up with the power yesterday? I had complete control, and then it felt like a new heat wave was practically pulsing right through me.”

I started to answer her question, “I’m assuming it was Aden.” Just then, my phone beeped and I gave her an apologetic look before I swiped up the screen to see a text from Ean as I continued talking. “When you’re fated, your magic is strongest when you’re together. Aden walked in unexpectedly and since you’ve not really been away from each other since you got here, I’m assuming it was just the shock of feeling your power enhanced like that. I mean, the longer you’re apart, the stronger the feeling of reconnection is when you’re back together.”

Ean:
We still need to talk.

Me:
I’m out. We’ll have to talk later.

I rolled my eyes at the phone and still talk to Shaylee absentmindedly while waiting for his reply.
“I’m surprised that Aden didn’t mention the boost in strength to you when he explained about being fated.”

Ean:
Where are you?

Was he kidding me?

Me:
Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m at lunch with a friend.

I didn’t get a response right away, so I set my phone down, and returned to my conversation with Shaylee. When I looked up, I saw that all the blood had drained from her face and she looked completely shell shocked.
Fuck.
I realized that my coward of a brother hadn’t told Shaylee about being fated, and I’d just let the cat out of the bag.

I spent some time explaining the realities of being fated, and how it’s nothing like the human’s version of ‘mates.’ It’s more like a meeting of compatible souls than being tied to that one person for eternity without any choice in the matter; every Fae is free to forge their own path.

It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes the fated couple doesn’t fall in love, and having their soul so connected with someone else, would make it hard for any other relationships they have to survive. I explained that in these situations, the Fae seek out Fate and she will often sever the connection, help them figure out their own destinies from there. There may be another one whom they will become fated with. Or, they might find happiness without being fated and that’s ok.

Shaylee had looked ill and my phone beeped yet again, so I gave her a minute to process while I checked the message.

Ean:
Just get your ass over to my apartment when you’re done with your date.

I was pretty proud of myself when I didn’t fling my phone at the wall. Instead, I set it down calmly, and resumed my discussion with Shaylee. When it chirped again I didn’t even look at it, I turned it off and threw it in my bag with a huff.

At that point, my irritation level gave me a little bit of word vomit, “Sometimes, those people are just too bullheaded to accept that what they need is right in front of them, and if they’d stop being such a stubborn fucking asshole, they might just find some happiness. But no, instead, they cling to their ridiculous ideas, and push away the best thing that will ever happen to them.” The anger had risen in my tone and Shaylee had looked confused, and a bit taken back by it. I could have used Ean and me as a prime example, of course, but I didn’t want to get into it. Nobody but Brannon was aware of the situation, and not because of me. He let on that Ean had told him and I continued to pretend no one knew. I waved my hand, as though to wipe away what I’d just said, and told her it was a discussion for another day.

Shaylee had been so upset and shocked by everything, she’d run to the bathroom and gotten sick. Meanwhile, I’d called Aden to give him hell for his fuck up, and give him a little warning.
Not that he deserved it.
I’d loved Shaylee since the moment I met her, and I didn’t want his stupidity to ruin our friendship. She’d assured me that our relationship was solid, and it would always be there. I needed to hear that, because if one more thing in my life got turned upside down, I was going to lose it.

After lunch, I did an excellent job of procrastinating, detouring into the training room, making sure no one needed me. Lo and behold, a couple of students were about to head out to the fields and practice their ability to work with the earth. They asked if I had time to do some tutoring with them and since I couldn’t in good conscious, as their instructor, turn them down, Ean would have to wait.

I keep spare clothes and toiletries in the locker room for emergencies (like if a student accidentally sets my clothes on fire and then drenches me in several gallons of water. True story) so that I don’t have to waste time running up to my place. Avoiding running into Ean up there was just a plus. After changing, we headed outside and spent the rest of the afternoon in training. Eventually, we were joined by a couple of other students, and another instructor. It was well after eight by the time we stopped, and we were all starving. I ordered dinner, then we all got cleaned up, and met in one of the common rooms to feast.