Loving Jack (17 page)

Grace was staring at him from the opposite side of the bed. “You do know that it’s no different for straight people, right? Once you commit you can never dip your spoon into another quart of ice cream, no matter the flavor. I understand that you weren’t ready seven years ago. That isn’t the issue here. I also know that you
were
ready six months ago. Matthew held your heart. So forgive me if vanilla feels a little unsure about her security when you should have been married to chocolate by now. I just want you to be sure, Jack, because I love you too much to survive losing you again.”

Jack’s chest was really heaving now. He didn’t like being challenged. He never had. He was the steamroller. He told you how things were going to be and you were supposed to accept it and follow his direction.

“Do you want to know how ready, how fucking sure I am, Grace?” He stomped over to a door on the far wall and flung it open. His grumbling and cursing was muffled once he stepped inside what looked like a huge closet. “I can’t believe you’re ruining this. You just have to be contrary. This really pisses me off.”

Grace stuck her head in the closet to see what the hell he was doing. Inside the closet in the rear there was a safe built into the floor. Jack was on his knees fiddling with the combination. “It never takes me more than once to open this safe! That’s how fucking crazy you make me!” he turned his head and saw her standing there so she stepped inside. He took a deep breath and tried the lock again. It popped open. He stuck his hand in and pulled something out before shutting the safe’s door and spinning the dial. He hopped to his feet in one smooth motion and turned to face her.

“I’m so angry with you right now.” Something she said had pushed him beyond his ability to remain cool. “You have completely ruined this.”

Grace’s heart shuddered. Okay. So he wasn’t willing to be monogamous with a woman, not even her, the one he said he loved. It was better that she knew now. Walking away again would be hard, but she knew she couldn’t share him with the same certainty he knew he couldn’t be faithful. That’s what all that chocolate and vanilla talk had been about. He was trying to help her accept his bisexual needs. She did accept it and she’d never faulted him or anyone for their sexuality. She just couldn’t be the woman in his life if he needed more than her. It wouldn’t matter to her if it was a woman or a man. She just wouldn’t share. She wasn’t built that way. She just wasn’t.

“I understand,” she said and turned away before he saw the tears building. “I’ll just go now. There’s no need to say anymore.” She didn’t want to hear his rejection.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me again, Grace Yates.” Jack’s voice was quiet but commanding. Grace turned around. She was such a fool for this man. “I didn’t want to go into this yet, but it seems you need the whole story up front or this argument will never end.”

“I wasn’t arguing,” she disagreed but Jack’s hard look shut her down.

“Yes, I did love Matthew. I would never deny that. When he asked me to marry him I hesitated to say yes, because as much I loved him, I still had you in my heart. I never stopped loving you, and I’m truly sorry I never admitted it to you.” He sighed. “Matthew and I broke up the day before he was supposed to move in.”

Grace already knew this from her talk with Rachel. She was desperately trying to be open minded, but it was hard when Jack was talking about the man he’d loved enough to marry, the man he was ready and willing to commit his spoon to forever.

“I asked Matthew how long he would want to wait before we looked into adopting. I want a family, so I thought after a few years of marriage we would start the process.” Jack looked at the floor between Grace’s feet. Her heart clinched. Jack had wanted a family with Matthew. Of course, he did. That’s what married people did, right?

“Matthew freaked out. He’s gay. He had it rough when he was young. You look at him and you see this big, badass biker. The tattoos and the facial hair are armor for him. If you look like a threat people tend to leave you alone. Inside he’s the most loving, generous human being I’ve ever met.” A wistful look washed over Jack’s face, like he was remembering countless good deeds done by his badass biker.

“Anyway, he didn’t want to have children. He refused to put a kid through the trauma of being raised by gay parents. His family’s rejection of him and the bullying he lived with in his youth was an unsurmountable obstacle. He wouldn’t give, and neither would I. So we ended it.”

“I’m so sorry.” She meant that. She hated to see the hurt in Jack’s eyes. And she was truly sorry that Matthew was still haunted by prejudice and hate. No one should be persecuted for simply being who they are.

“I think you needed to hear that. I’d planned to do this all very differently and not for another few months, but as usual, you are a challenge.” He was still glaring. “Matthew and I are done. That part of my life is over. The only other person I’ve ever loved is you, Grace. You want me to be sure about my feelings for you? Okay. I was so sure that I couldn’t lose you again after I kissed you on Monday that I dropped you off at the office and started making plans. I wanted to give you time to decide you wanted to be here, but after that kiss I was sure you would want to be here with me.”

Grace glared at him. He really was a fucking steamroller. Arrogant jerk that he was, she still loved him. His scowl finally faded and he gave her that heart-stopping grin that always got him his way. Grace felt her heart melt. He continued.

“I’m remodeling the house,” he informed her and gestured widely to encompass the house. Grace was confused. What did that have to do with her? And the house was perfect! Why would he want to change it? “I need you to be here when I meet with the contractor and decorator. I want this house to be just the way you like it from top to bottom. I was walking down the street after I took you to Artifex on Monday. My mind was racing with thoughts of you and how I was going to keep my hands to myself until you made a decision. I passed a jeweler downtown. There was this piece of art in the window and I knew it had to be yours. Then it dawned on me. I need you to be mine forever.” Jack went down in one knee at her feet. Grace’s mouth was definitely hanging open when Jack produced the item he’d dug out of his safe. He opened the blue box and presented her with a cushion cut canary yellow diamond ring. The huge center stone was circled by little clear white diamonds. It was breathtaking.
 

“I don’t just want you to be my CFO, Grace. I want you to be my wife. So here I am, on the floor of my closet, asking you to marry me. Because I’m that sure about us. Because I love you this much. Will you marry me, Grace Yates?”

EIGHT

“Have you lost your fucking mind?”
 

Grace stormed out of the closet and began to search for her shoes again. Jack was fucking crazy! Marry him? After one night of sex? It was incredible sex, but still, who does that? She found her shoes in the bathroom and holding the wall for balance, she slid them on. Grace got a good look at herself in the long mirror over Jack’s vanity. She looked confused. She looked afraid. She didn’t look at all like herself in a wrinkled dress, flushed cheeks, and rumpled hair.
 

Grace felt like her entire orderly life was drifting on a stormy sea and she was just barely holding on from one wave to the next. Her carefully planned career made her miserable. Her relationship with a good man, the perfect devoted man, was over because she couldn’t commit to more than sex. Her best friend was suddenly less than his usual supportive self. And the man who tormented her dreams had just proposed marriage . . . and she’d walked away. Why had she walked away? Because she was afraid he would remember that she wasn’t enough for him. She was even more frightened by how difficult it was to walk away from that proposal. It was too soon. This behavior wasn’t like her. None of this was like the Grace Yates she’d worked so hard to become.

Grace reentered the bedroom after girding her loins for a fight. Jack was going to push for what he wanted. The man didn’t understand the word no when it came to his desires. Rightly so she supposed. Who had ever told him no? She had once upon a time. Matthew had as well. And where was Matthew now? Not with Jack. She doubted she would be for long either. No matter how badly she wanted to realize her dream of a life with Jack, Grace refused to rush into marriage. Damn it! They weren’t even dating!

The sight that greeted Grace in the bedroom brought her up short. Jack was waiting for her, but he wasn’t in battle mode. He sat on the end of his rumpled bed with his head hung and his forearms resting on his knees. She stopped in front of him and his head came up. His eyes were a deep, sad blue-green. He looked anxious, embarrassed even. Warm color spread over his cheekbones.

“I understand.” He hung his head again. “I guess I was a little too . . .,” he shook his head in self-recrimination, “confident in my ability to woo you. It was just that it felt so good to have you back in my arms. That crazy heat between us, our instant connection, it all made me think you’d want more than just sex.” If possible, his head seemed to dip even lower. Grace didn’t know how to react to this new unsure Jack. She was dumbfounded standing there staring at the top of his lovely head. His hair was rumpled from sleep and sex. His muscular shoulders looked unnatural slumped in defeat. He continued when she remained silent.
 

“I get it, though. You’re here for the job. I’ll keep my distance. I hope you won’t let my rash behavior affect your decision to accept the partnership at Artifex.”
 

Grace sighed deeply. What was she going to do with this impossible man? She sat on the carpet next to his legs and leaned back against the end of the bed. Jack shifted and looked away. He was really embarrassed. She shouldn’t have reacted the way she did to his proposal. He’d just surprised her with the impulsive action and Grace blurted the first thing that came to her mind. She sighed again.

“I’ve been talking about wanting to be sure this is what you want, Jack. Why would you think this was just about sex?” she asked.
 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Maybe you’re trying to use our past as an excuse. That way you don’t have to come right out and say you’re not interested anymore. I mean, I hurt you in the past. I know that. I didn’t want to hurt you but I did. It must be nice to see me squirm now.”

Grace scowled at him. Did he think she was here for revenge? Like she would cross the country and spend her vacation working for free, just to have a chance to pay him back for crushing her heart into little jaded pieces that would never heal enough to love anyone else? She was insulted. And hurt by the accusation.
 

“Fuck you, Jack,” she told him as calmly as she was able, and got to her feet. “I don’t share my body with just anyone. I can’t believe you would think me capable of going through all of this drama . . . just to hurt you.” She was done with this argument. He could think anything he liked about her. She’d be on a plane in a couple of days. “I’ll let Rachel know when I make a decision.”

Jack watched her walk to the door. “Grace, wait.” She paused to glare at him again. “I’m sorry, okay?” He took Grace’s hand and pulled her into his arms. He looked truly repentant so she allowed it. “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t really believe that shit. Not really.” He kissed her forehead. “I want you in my life forever. I want you to be mine. I want to be yours and yours alone. I just want you to see how great we could be together and I don’t know how else to show you. I know what I want. That’s why I bought the ring. It was spontaneous. But when I saw it in that window I just knew it belonged to you.” He squeezed her tight. “I hadn’t planned on proposing so soon. I just . . . didn’t know how else to prove my readiness to commit when you have so many objections. It would have been lovely and much less mortifying if you’d accepted.”

“I can’t accept yet, Jack. It’s far too soon for me. While I appreciate your readiness, I must admit, I feel much better knowing you care enough to go to such lengths. But I need more time. We need to date. We need to get to know each other again.”
 

“Of course, I know all of that logically. I’m a very logical man, Grace.” He lifted her chin so he could look at her face. “It’s entirely your fault.” He smiled. She sputtered. He kissed the corner of her mouth. “You’re the only person on this planet who can make me crazy. You’re the only person alive who could make me forget myself and be impulsive like that, baby.”

Grace caressed Jack’s cheek. “You know I love you now, right? I never stopped.”

Jack’s smile was blinding. He suddenly lifted her and tossed her on the bed. Grace squealed and bounced on the mattress. Jack was over her before she could blink. The joy in his expression made her heart melt the rest of the way. She couldn’t resist this man. But she would wait until she felt completely settled before she accepted his proposal.

“I love you, Grace. I’ll wait for you to be ready. I’ll wait as long as it takes.” He moved in slowly to take her mouth in a burning kiss. There were no more thoughts of marriage or fear of the future. There was only Jack and the love they had for each other.

****

Grace checked out of the hotel later that day when Jack insisted she spend the remainder of her stay at his place. She only had a few days left and they wanted to spend that time together. Grace was finished reviewing the financials at Artifex but she realized she’d left the charger for her tablet in the office. Jack also wanted to inform Rachel that he was taking a few days off to spend with Grace. They stopped by the office when they left the hotel.