Authors: Marie Astor
Rising on her elbow, Annabel grabbed her phone from the bedside table and dialed the office. She almost never used her sick days, but today she was going to call in sick
. H
aving your heart broken ought to qualify
. I
t was way worse than the flu or a stomach virus. After leaving a message on Paige’s machine about not coming in, Annabel sank back into the pillows, drawing the covers over her head. She wished she could stay like this forever. Perhaps she could become a hermit and take a vow of silence
. T
hen she’d have a legitimate excuse not to answer all those questions that she knew would be coming soon from her family and friends. Of course
,
there was just one little problem
. S
he still had to pay the rent
,
and being a recluse did not exactly leave many ways to earn an income
. T
oday
, though,
she would allow herself one indulgence: she would wallow in self
-
pity and not think about all the mortifying things she would have to do, like canceling the caterer, the florist, and the venue for the wedding. At least the
re was
one good thing
: t
hey never
ha
d g
otten
around to sending out those wedding invitations
. S
he sighed bitterly, remembering her agitation at being behind schedule and Jeremy’s crafty excuses to avoid finalizing the guest list. To think that Jeremy had been lying to her all this time! But then that was the thing about Jeremy: he was a born charmer. When he looked at you with his baby blues, his blond bangs sweeping over his forehead, it was impossible not to believe him.
After a while, a pressing need to pee forced her to get up. The sight of her swollen eyes along with her matted hair in the bathroom mirror made her wince.
No wonder Jeremy cheated
, Annabel thought
.
I’m a complete mess
. Of course
,
the reason she looked this way now was because of his cheating, but
given the circumstances,
this fact was little consolation. She forced herself to brush her teeth and take a shower
. S
he was not going t
o disintegrate so completely
as to forsake her personal hygiene.
Afterwards she poured herself some cereal and milk. Absent-mindedly poking the cereal flakes with her spoon, she thought about how she would spend the day. She needed something to occupy herself with, something to distract her from dwelling on Jeremy.
This
is the
most difficult part of
being alone
, she thought
. B
eing in a relationship eliminates the need for planning one’s free time
. Before Jeremy started frequenting all those weekend literary workshops that she now knew were nothing more than crafty ploys to sneak around with Athena, Annabel’s weekends and days off had always been filled with activities that she and Jeremy did together. Granted, they spent time apart to see their friends, but that was a small fraction of the amount of time that they spent together. Now, she would have to get used to the idea of filling her days with random outings that used to only take up a fraction of her life. Even weeknights would be different. It was one thing to come home to Jeremy and have the evening fly by as they cooked dinner together and cuddled on the couch in front of the TV
. I
t would be quite another to come back to an empty apartment with nothing more than vacant hours to fill before going to bed. But she would not think about that now
. S
he refused to think about that now
. I
nstead, she would handle it one day at a time.
She needed somebody to talk to - somebody who would just
hear her out and refrain from voicing
his or her own opinion. She could always call Lilly, but she did not want to tell her just yet. Lilly was her best friend, but tact was not one of Lilly’s str
ong points, and
Annabel did not feel like listening to Lilly bashing Jeremy
. D
espite what Lilly might think, it would not cheer her up in the least. What she needed right now was to be told that everything would
be all right, even though, at the moment,
that seemed highly unlikely. She wanted to be taken care of and to be reassured like a little girl
. W
hat did it matter that she was a grown woman of twenty-eight?
Currently,
she felt as helpless as an eight-year-old. She needed her mom and dad.
Both of her parents were accountants and ran their own practice. Now that the tax deadline had passed, Annabel was fairly certain that she would find them both at home
. A
fter working sixteen-hour days, Jane and Timothy Green always took off the three weeks after April 15
th
to recuperate. Annabel’s mother usually spent the time gardening, while her father busied himself with doing odd projects around the house
. C
arpentry was his hobby
,
and that’s how he relaxed. Annabel dialed her parents’ number
preparing herself for
the off chance that they might be out, doing something more exciting.
Yet a
s she had anticipated, her mother picked up the phone.
“Hi,
h
oney!” Jane Green greeted her daughter chirpily. “Did you take a day off?” Ever attentive to detail
,
Mrs. Green
ha
d not fail
ed
to notice Annabel’s home number on the caller id.
“Hi, Mom
.
” Annabel did her best to sound like her normal self
. S
he wanted to tell her mother the bad news in person. Still, her voice sounded hoarse from all the crying.
“Is everything all right? You sound like you are coming down with something.”
You could certainly say that, thought Annabel.
“Mom, can I come over? I really need to talk to you.”
“Yes, sure
. Y
ou know that your dad and I are always happy to see you. What’s wrong, Annabel?”
“I’ll tell you when I get there, Mom
. I
t’s a long story. I should be there in about two hours or so.”
“All right,
h
oney
. Y
our dad and I look forward to seeing you.”
“Bye
,
Mom.”
Annabel boarded the train and took a seat by the window. At this time of the day
,
the car was empty except for a few passengers, and she had the entire row to herself. She huddled closer to the window, willing her mind to think of anything but Jeremy leaving her, which was
,
of course
,
an impossible task.
As she waited for the train to move, her thoughts wondered back to her senior year at NYU – the year she met Jeremy.
That year she
had
bec
o
me
the
editor
of
the school journal. A few months later, Jeremy approached her in the cafeteria.
“Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met
.
I’m Jeremy, Jeremy Blake.”
“Annabel Green,” she had barely managed to respond as the sight of his deep blue eyes upon her made her head spin.
“
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.”
“I wish I could take credit for it, but darn it, Edgar Poe beat me to it.” Jeremy winked at her as she stared at him, mesmerized by the sound of his voice.
“Yes, he wrote it about his wife,” Annabel noted promptly and immediately wished she could come up with something more original than history facts about famous poets. Her mind raced feverishly for a witty reply, but all she could think of was that Jeremy Blake was talking to her. She remembered him from Lit 101 from the freshman year
. H
e was the most handsome guy in the class – come to think of it, in the entire school.
“Very nice to meet you, Annabel.” Jeremy’s eyes twinkled while he took her in as though sizing her up.
“Likewise.” Annabel blushed and looked away.
“Would you mind telling me why you rejected my story, Annabel?” he asked, his blond bangs falling disarmingly over his forehead.
She stammered something nonsensical about an overly large number of submissions.
“Would you like to get a cup of coffee?” Jeremy’s lips eased into an irresistible smile. “I was hoping that maybe you could give me some pointers on my story.”
Jeremy Blake wanted to have coffee with her
,
and it was all she could do to mouth an ecstatic yes.
The coffee led to a movie, and the movie ended with dinner. Gradually, Annabel stopped fretting about having things to say
.
Jeremy loved to hear himself talk, and she loved the sound of his voice.
That night Jeremy kissed her. The touch of his lips and the feel of his tongue caressing the insides of her mouth lifted her into dreamy weightlessness. When she opened her eyes, she knew that she had fallen in love with Jeremy Blake.
Jeremy’s story was published in the next magazine issue, albeit with substantial edits.
They were inseparable for the rest of college and decided to move in together after graduation. She still remembered the overwhelming excitement she had felt while garage shopping with Jeremy for their first furniture
. T
hey could not afford much, but that did not matter since they were together.
She had been certain that Jeremy was her soul mate, but apparently, she had been terribly
wrong about that
. R
ight now
, it felt like her luck in love would never turn for the better.
After she exited the train
,
Annabel signaled to one of the many cabs that were scattered around the train station. As the cab drove down her parents’ street, her glance fell on the Clayton
s’
old house
,
the house where Lilly lived with her parents all through high school until Mr. and Mrs. Clayton
’s
divorce. After the divorce
,
neither of the Claytons wanted the property
,
and they put it up on the market. Lilly’s mother used the proceeds to buy a studio on the Upper East Side where she now resided, across town from Lilly’s dad
,
who had a penthouse on the
Upper West Side
. Now, the house was occupied by a different family and looked nothing like Annabel remembered it
. I
t had been repainted to maroon from its former white with navy trim, and the front lawn was adorned with plastic deer, several gigantic mushrooms, and a gnome – an arrangement that the worldly Mrs. Clayton would scoff at.
Annabel got out of the cab and rang her parents’ doorbell. As she stood on the porch, waiting for the front door to open, she was filled with tenderness by sight of the familiar surroundings. The house was painted the same color of blue-gray she remembered from her early childhood, the same flowerpots lined the porch, with her dad’s favorite wooden rocking chair completing the picture. It was not like all of this was news to her
;
she visited her parents at least twice a month, but now that her life had been turned upside down, it was reassuring to see this continuity.
“I’m coming!” her mother’s voice rang behind the door. Several moments later
,
the door opened and her mother appeared on the doorstep. “Hi,
h
oney! It’s so good to see you!”
Her mother’s warm embrace unhinged her, and Annabel felt the tears flow.
“Hi, Mom,” she sniveled.
“Honey, what’s wrong? What is it?”
“Jeremy and I broke up,” Annabel stammered through sobs.
“Come, let’s go inside.” Her mother steered her down the hall and into the kitchen. “Tell me everything from the beginning.” Mrs. Green put the kettle on and took a seat at the kitchen table by the window, motioning for Annabel to join her.
As a kid, the kitchen was where Annabel would always talk to her mom about things that mattered
. I
t was their favorite place to talk when they wanted some mother and daughter time, and it had remained such. That was where Annabel had first told her mother about meeting Jeremy and
had
announced the news of their engagement
. N
ow, she was going to tell her about their break up. Thinking about those happier conversations brought another wave of tears
,
and Annabel reached for the box of Kleenex, her shoulders shaking violently.