Lucky Me (26 page)

“Fine. Thank you for your time officers. Now if you'll excuse me, we have a lo—”

“How do they get the curtains up that high?” Detective Reynolds asked, gazing up at the stage, where busy workers were carrying curtains to weave onto rods.

“Uh,” Carol replied, following his gaze to her minions. “They have ladders. Very high and sturdy ladders.”

“Is that Billy Crystal?” Detective Reynolds suddenly exclaimed, pointing to the stage. His voice had become shrill with excitement, as though he were a teen waiting in line at a Backstreet Boys concert.

“Yes it is,” she said, giving him a strange look.

“I'm a big fan” he replied, his eyes widening. “
Huge
fan. If it's not too much trouble, do you think maybe I could introduce myself? Maybe get an autograph for the wife?”

Carol looked at me and I responded with the toothiest smile I had ever flashed in my life. Personally, I thought it was hilarious that Detective Reynolds had turned into a completely different person within a matter of seconds. Carol clearly wasn't as mad as I had first expected, because she actually agreed to introduce him and put our rehearsal on hold. Maybe her forehead vein had finally relaxed, or maybe she was scared to get on the bad side of a cop, but I sent a mental thank you to Baby J for delaying my failures by five more minutes. I wasn't however, thankful for the awkward position I was left in.

“So,” Milo said. I could no longer avoid his gaze. “Who knew Billy Crystal had that effect on fully grown men?”

For the first time since I had met him, I actually felt a little relief being around Milo. For once, I wasn't the only nervous one.
He
was too. He kept lightly slapping his thigh with his hand, looking at the floor and then back at me.

“Jack can you give us a minute?” I asked, and Jack's eyes widened in surprise.

“Gia, I—”

“Please, Jack.”

Jack looked at me like I had just told him I was having his baby. I gave him a pleading look, puppy dog eyes and all, and he shook his head in disbelief.

“I'm right behind you,” he told me, backing away hesitantly. “
Right
behind you.”

Evidently that was Jack's favorite thing to say. I turned back to Milo, my momentary burst of confidence wearing off.

“Bodyguards,” I said with a nervous laugh. “Whadya' gonna do?”

“Look Gia, I know you're probably really mad at me,” Milo began, running his hand through his hair. “I kissed you and then didn't call you for a week. I get it. I'd be mad too.”

Of course I had every right to be mad at him! How could he just look that amazing and lead a girl on like that? Only, I wasn't really angry.

“I'm not mad you. I'm just confused. If you thought it was a mistake then—”

“It wasn't a mistake!” he exclaimed. “I just don't know if it was the best decision.”

“Okay, you lost me again.”

“I probably shouldn't have made a move,” Milo said slowly. “It was crazy inappropriate, considering I'm working your case. I'm
barely
an officer. If I screw this up, I'll never live it down! Detective Reynolds didn't mention anything about us being at the party together, but I doubt he'd encourage it.”

“So that's why you didn't call?”

Milo sighed. “Okay, maybe I was using some other work as an excuse to keep myself busy and not call you, which was cowardly. But I felt really bad about leading you on.”

My eyes locked with his and everything fell into place. Everything suddenly made sense.

“You're married,” I declared.

“What?” Milo said, eyes widening. “No!”

“Single father?”

“No.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Gia—”

“Serial killer?”

“No! Gia, I—”

“Gay?”

“Gia, I'm moving to New York!” he cried, probably a little louder than he had wanted because I heard Jack snort with laughter behind me.

I turned to look at him with a steely glare. He really wasn't kidding when he said he was going to be right behind me. Jack clapped a hand over his mouth and held his hand up as an apology, taking two steps further away from Milo and I, struggling to contain his evident happiness.

“What?” I asked, shifting my attention back to Milo. “Say that again, because I'm struggling here.”

“I applied for a transfer to the NYPD months ago, long before your case,” Milo explained. “I got the call a few days before the frat party saying my application had been accepted and that I should finish whatever major cases I was working on. I graduate from the academy in just under a month, and I'll be out of the city not long after.”

“So where do I fit into this?”

“You came along and I couldn't help but feel something. I told myself not to act on those feelings but I kind of had a weak moment at the party. I guess I let myself like you a little more than I should have.”

I was so happy on the inside, I could have just died. Officer Milo Fells was standing less than three feet away from me, declaring that he couldn't help but fall for me! It was
definitely
the bail pun that had done it. You can't fight the romantic power of a good pun.

“So right before you, you know . . .” I said, finding myself unable to actually to say the word
kiss
out loud. “You said you were going to ‘regret this.' What does that mean?”

“I don't at all regret kissing you, Gia. If I could go back in time and take it back, I wouldn't. But that doesn't mean it was smart, considering our situation. I only meant that I would regret having to explain this all to you later, after acting like a complete idiot and deciding to ignore you instead of facing up to it.”

Alright, so he
had
been an idiot. A whole week had gone by and not one word. He had even resorted to communicating with Jack instead of me! But he was sorry. And he was hot. And he said he didn't regret kissing me. And he was hot.

“So,” I began, dreading the inevitable question that hung in the air around us. “Where does this leave us now?”

“It leaves you in New York,” Jack's voice said. He came up from behind me, looking at Milo with a smile. “And Gia in L.A.”

“Nice of you to join us,” Milo said sarcastically, and I bit my nails nervously.

I could barely manage to be around Milo or Jack when I was alone with them. I had no hope when they were both in the same room.

“Sorry,” Jack said, with the most unapologetic grin plastered on his annoyingly perfect face. “But I couldn't help but overhear the tragic tale you two were reciting to each other.”

“Jack!” I hissed, but he ignored me.

“I don't really see how this is your business, man.” Milo told him in a strained voice.

“Gia is my business. And the fact that you're going to be in my city in a matter of months is also my business.”

“Oh, my mistake,” Milo replied with a glare. “I wasn't aware you owned New York.”

“There's a lot you don't know yet.”

“Jack, stop,” I said warningly, but he didn't even look at me.

“Oh, we'll get there soon. Don't worry,” Milo replied, his smile unable to mask the challenging tone in his voice.

Shitty shit shit! This was not going well.

“You know what else is my business?” Jack continued, taking a step closer to Milo. “The fact that you're too busy twiddling your thumbs and writing in your journal about lost love to actually focus on the lunatic harassing Gia.”

An image suddenly popped into my head of Milo lying on his bed; tongue out with concentration and furiously writing in a secret diary with a feathery pink pen. I had no clue why my brain had decided to form such a pointless thought and at such an inappropriate time too, but I couldn't stop a light laugh from escaping.

“Journal . . .” I whispered, my laughter strengthening.

Both Milo and Jack were looking at me like I was delusional, which only made me laugh harder. I wanted to slap myself for acting like such an idiot, but even that image was funny to me.

“I'll be in touch,” Milo said, watching me laugh with a concerned look on his face.

I slapped a hand over my mouth in an attempt to stop the completely uncalled for laughter, but it was no use. Now it just looked like I was having a seizure. Milo raised his eyebrows, shook his head ever so slightly and walked over to Detective Reynolds and Carol, ignoring Jack completely.

“Oh my gosh,” I said, wiping the tears from the corners of my eyes. I had just managed to get my laughter under control and my abs hurt. Thanks a lot, brain.

“That was so embarrassing!”

“Can you believe that guy?” Jack asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

We watched Milo approach a beaming Detective Reynolds and introduce himself to the celebrities with a handshake and a strained smile.

“I can't believe
you
! Now I'll never be Mrs. Gia Fells! Especially not after what you just pulled.”

Jack rolled his eyes in frustration and turned to me. “Are you an idiot? He made out with you, and now he's conveniently moving to another city?”

“Hey!” I cried, giving him an offended look. “He's not moving to another city to get away from me! We sorted the whole kiss thing out. You should know that, considering you were eavesdropping!”

“It's not my fault you two were talking so loudly!”

“Oh, please.”

Jack gave me a pitying look, and I crossed my arms over my chest defensively. “Just wait, Gia,” he said. “You're going to figure out that this guy isn't right for you.”

I glared at Jack through narrowed eyes. It was just like him to say something discouraging like that. What did he know about Milo, anyway? I was getting
really
sick of Jack caring about me one minute, and then changing his mind the next. The hot and cold act was getting a little old.

“We're taking off,” Detective Reynolds told me, making his way down the stage steps with Milo close behind.

Apparently he had gotten all he needed from Carol and Billy. Milo and Detective Reynolds walked up the perfectly plush carpeted floor to where Jack and I were standing, and I thanked them both for the update, being extra careful to avoid eye contact with Milo again. I shook both their hands, tried not to faint when Milo's hand lingered in mine, and watched with a pout as they walked toward the entrance of the hall. Detective Reynolds' phone rang and he answered with a gruff hello, autographs in hand.

“Gia,” Milo said, turning around suddenly, as if he had done it on impulse. Detective Reynolds was yelling into his phone so loudly, I doubted he noticed. “I'm really sorry. For what it's worth, I really do like you. And I'm sorry this got so complicated.”

I watched him walk away, my heart sinking as Detective Reynolds and Milo disappeared out of the hall. What kind of injustice was this? I had finally found a guy that I genuinely liked (sorry, Brendan), who actually liked me back, and nothing could even happen! For one, he was almost a police officer
working
my case. And two, he was freaking moving states! One reason would have been enough! I didn't need to be smacked in the face twice.

I had three bodyguards, two parents, great friends, a puppy, a dozen housekeepers, and occasionally a pool boy. I even had a stalker, for cryin' out loud. Yet somehow I
still
managed to feel completely alone. I'm pretty sure this is not exactly what Kelly, Michelle, and my girl Beyoncé had in mind.

All the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me.

Chapter Ei
ghteen

Jack had been acting reserved the whole weekend after the little incident at rehearsals. Seeing as he wasn't exactly wearing “I heart Milo” t-shirts under all his clothes, I was surprised he wasn't over the moon that my romance with Milo had come to a standstill. Truthfully, my personal life really wasn't any of his business, so what he thought essentially didn't matter. Except Jack was kind of the only person I had left to talk to about anything, now that the whole Dr. D situation had completely isolated me from my normal life. Without Jack around to hear my complaining, I'd be forced to befriend Chris, who never even spoke. Or even worse my brother, who never shut up. As much as it killed me to admit it, I needed Jack around, and not just for physical protection.

But evidently, even Jack had his limits when it came to discussing Milo. I guess guys just aren't interested in hearing about other guys, especially if both of them are extremely attractive and don't like each other much. Aria and Veronica definitely would have been interested in hearing about my Milo struggles. They would have agreed that the universe was being a serious bitch, or at the very least bought me some expensive ice cream and put on a Julia Roberts movie. Veronica might have even let me copy her homework, which is what I really needed. But once again, I had to keep them out of the loop. I didn't trust my brain's filter. If I let one thing slip, everything else would come tumbling down with it.

I figured Jack would suck it up and move on when Monday came around. After all, he'd had half of Saturday and the whole of Sunday to be in a constant state of PMS. Apparently, I was wrong.

“I'm not in the mood for this,” Jack grumbled. He pocketed his car keys in his jacket with a sigh, instinctively surveying our surroundings.

“For what?”

Jack motioned to the building closest to the parking lot, where we were. “This. School. I did my time, and now I'm stuck here forever like that sparkly dude from that
Twilight
book.”

That comment was definitely feeding my vampire theory about Jack.

I rolled my eyes. “You are not stuck here
forever.
I am going to graduate, you know!”

Jack gave another frustrated sigh and shook his head. “Whatever,” he said, as we walked toward the entrance to the lockers. “Let's just do this.”

Jeez. We hadn't even gotten to first period and Jack was already Mr. Grumpy Pants. It wasn't my fault I was walking on sunshine ever since Saturday. Maybe Jack needed to find someone who made him feel the way Milo made me feel. Which, currently, was pretty shitty. But you know what I mean. Of course, she'd have to be amazing looking to match up to Jack's looks, especially in that black jacket he was wearing. And she'd have to be funny, because he has a good sense of humor. She'd also have to be smart, because Jack is always going on and on about all this stuff I don't know about. Not that I cared about the type of girl Jack would be into. I was apparently “not his type,” so he clearly had poor taste.

“Gia!” Aria exclaimed, cutting into my train of thought. We had just reached the entrance when she had appeared out of nowhere, smiling widely at me.

Veronica appeared seconds later, a little out of breath but with an equally wide smile. She was cradling a stack of books in her hand, and pushed some hair out of her face, a little flustered.

“Hey Gia!” she said, taking a few deep breaths. “I love your outfit today!”

I looked down at the heeled motorcycle boots on my feet, my ripped, black skinny jeans and fringed tank top with a shrug. I had been forced to throw on the first thing I could find before we left because I had overslept. Yet again. The whole skipping school thing had really taken a toll on my body clock's schedule.

“It's kind of whatever,” I said, giving them a strange look. “But thanks.”

Veronica and Aria exchanged nervous smiles and I raised my eyebrows. My friends have had their fair share of being weird, but acting like they had just finished burying a body was something new to me.

“Hey Jack!” Aria cried, waving at him even though he was standing less than a yard away.

“Hey Aria,” he replied, smiling at me. Clearly he was amused.

“So,” I said, after a few seconds of silently exchanging smiles. “I'm going to go to my locker now.”

“I got your books for you!” Veronica piped up, thrusting half of the stack in her arms at me.

“Oh, thanks V!” I told her, giving her a touched smile. “But I actually need to go to my locker anyway. I left my jacket in there a long time ago and it—”

“I'll get it?” Aria volunteered excitedly, practically bouncing up and down as if I had told her she would run into Johnny Depp on her way to school.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “Why are you guys being weird?”

“We're not being weird,” Veronica replied almost immediately.

“Yeah!” Aria added. “We just thought it might be nice for us to get your books for a change. We're providing a public service.”

“Aria,” I said, giving her a knowing look. “You can barely find your
own
locker. You have no chance finding mine.”

I took a step forward to try and walk past them, but they immediately came closer together, shoulders touching, barricading the entrance. I raised my eyebrows and took a step to the right, thinking I could go around them if not through them, but Aria jumped in front of me, her smile still plastered on her face.

“Seriously, what's
going on?” Jack asked from behind me, and I looked at my friends expectantly.

“I—I heard there's going to be a crêpe guy at school today. Flew him up from France and everything.” Veronica announced.

“Okay, you guys need to move. You're starting to freak me out a little.”

I took another step to the right when Aria was exchanging more worried looks with Veronica, managing to barely slip past her before she stopped me once again.

“No!” She exclaimed with urgency, grabbing onto my wrist.

“What?” I cried.

Aria released my wrist with a frown. I glanced at Jack, who gave me a shrug, and took another step forward, challenging my friends to stop me again. They didn't.

I had taken barely three steps inside the building before I felt everyone's eyes settle on me. Sheets of paper carpeted the floor and were stuck to the lockers, turning the whole building white. The papers had some kind of pictures on them, but I couldn't tell exactly what they were. I was too busy wondering why everyone was looking at me with suppressed laughter. Oh God, why were they all staring? I was definitely wearing clothes; I had just checked. Was there something on my face? I didn't trust Jack, but one of the girls definitely would have mentioned it.

“What the hell is this?” Jack asked, emerging from behind me, looking around the hallway with the same confusion.

“Why are they all looking at me?” I whispered to him.

“Oh shoot!” I heard someone hiss behind me. It sounded like Aria.

“Gia!” Lincoln came rushing up to me, holding a sheet of the white paper in his hand with a concerned look on his face. “Gia, I have no clue who did this. But don't worry. I've taken all the ones down from the boy's bathroom.”

Jack took the paper from Lincoln without asking, and I leaned in closer to see what it had on it. There was a picture of the Golden Globes stage from last year. I recognized it from all of my non-stop studying of actress' speeches, trying to find the perfect way to “glide” and not “trot,” as Carol had so kindly put it. Except instead of a beautiful actress, there was a photo-shopped picture of a killer whale in an evening gown, standing upright on the stage next to Christian Bale. Instead of its actual head, my smiling face had been photo-shopped onto the body in its place. The picture had probably been taken from one of Dad's premieres a few years ago, because I looked a little younger. Not that anyone was really going to notice that. They were going to be too busy imagining me looking like a humungous underwater mammal on what was perhaps the most important day of my life. My wedding doesn't count, because based on the way I was going, I was never going to have one.

I snatched the poster from Jack, rooted to my spot. I mean, sure I had been eating a little extra chocolate. But that was just due to all the stress from Dr. D and my constant emotional battle with Milo and Jack. Chocolate calms me down, so sue me. I was by no means a killer whale!

“Gia . . .” Jack began slowly, his smile now completely absent from his face.

I pushed him out of the way and tore another piece of paper off the nearest locker. This one had a photo of me smiling, from Aria's birthday party last year, only it had been zoomed in to practically take up the whole page. I recognized it because I had been wearing Veronica's purple feather earrings that I had been in love with, and had gone perfectly with my purple Steve Madden heels. It was a pretty flattering picture if I may so myself. It would have remained flattering if someone hadn't colored some of my teeth in black, added warts all over my face and devil horns on either side of my crown. Scrawled across the top in thick black text was the heading
The New Face of the Golden Globes
.

“It's not
that
bad,” Jack said, as if replying to the horrified thoughts passing through my mind.

“NOT THAT BAD?” I practically shrieked. “Jack look at this!” I motioned toward the students pouring out from everywhere, edited pictures of me in their hands. “I'm the school joke!”

“Don't let her see this one,” Veronica whispered behind me, and I spun around to face my two friends eyeing a sheet of paper taped to the locker behind them.

“Great,” I declared, sarcastically. “There are more than two versions of this! Fantastic! If you'll excuse me, I'm going to lie on a very busy road now.”

I tried to head for the entrance but Jack caught my elbow, stopping me from running out the doors and hiding in the bushes for about fifteen years until I was convinced the humiliation had passed.

“No you're not,” he said sternly. “You're not going to hide, Gia. It's not even that bad! We'll just take all the posters down and clean up the floors. Problem solved.”

“I'll help,” Lincoln offered.

“Same,” Veronica said.

“Same,” Aria agreed.

“Hey, Gia!” I heard Aaron's voice, and I looked behind me to see him running down the hallway toward us. “These posters of you . . . Man, that one with your face on that obese body is really harsh.”

“You mean the killer whale,” I corrected him with a sigh. “Yeah, I saw.”

He raised an eyebrow and said, “No, I mean that obese body stuffed into a bikini. What's this about a killer whale?”

I slapped a hand over my eyes as if that would help shield the embarrassment and sudden trauma my poor brain had been forced to deal with.

“Oh my God!” I wailed. “Make it stop!”

“Okay,” Jack said, uncertainly. His confidence in just how bad the situation was had clearly faltered. “I'll get Gia out of here, you just deal with the posters.”

My friends all nodded aggressively, swapping pitying looks that I knew were meant for me. Lincoln stopped a group of freshman boys picking up a pile of papers off the floor and grabbed the posters off them.

“What are you even doing in our hallway?” he asked a scrawny one with big, green eyes.

“There were some on our lockers as well,” he explained in a nervous voice. “But we heard the good ones were on the senior lockers.”

“In the
freshman
hallway
?”
I yelled, my voice becoming shrill. “WELL GEE. That's just freaking fantastic!”

“Beat it, kid,” Lincoln told the scrawny boy. “And take down all the posters in your hall and throw them away.”

“Come on,” Jack said, tugging on my hand as he led me toward the entrance. “We'll skip first period. I'll get you a Krispy Kreme to make you feel better.”

“I can't eat a Krispy Kreme, Jack!” I cried, fighting back tears. “People already think I look like a whale! What, are you trying to ruin my life completely?”

Jack sighed as Veronica pulled Aria toward a set of lockers, ripping off sheets of paper as she went along. I gave my friends what I hoped was a grateful look, but probably came across as majorly depressed, because Aaron and Lincoln exchanged frowns.

“Come on, Gia,” Jack said, tugging on my arm lightly.

“SHOW US YOUR TEENY WEENIE BIKINI GIA!” Someone yelled out from behind me, and I was certain a part of my insides had died.

“Yeah, we all know you're an expert in teeny weenie things, aren't you Carter?” Aria yelled back, and the crowd
ooo-ed
and
aaah-ed.

Carter flipped Aria the bird, to which she replied by blowing him an air kiss.

“Just ignore them,” Jack told me firmly, and I bit my bottom lip to stop from crying.

It was easy for him to say that. His social status hadn't been murdered in front of his own eyes.

“Who would do something so horrible?” I heard someone say from a little behind me.

It was a good question. Who would capable of pulling off such an extravagant prank? More importantly, who hated me that much they actually wanted to pull the prank in the first place.

“Hey Gia,” Meghan said sweetly, walking through the entrance of our hallway just as Jack and I were ready to make our escape. She placed her sunglasses on top of her head and beamed at Jack, her two sidekicks by her sides. “Hi, Jack!”

“Hey,” Jack replied, with a pleasing amount of disinterest.

“Meghan!” I snapped, pulling my hand away from Jack's grip.

She spun around to face us and I narrowed my eyes at her. “Can I help you with something?” she asked, her fake smile still on her heavily made-up face.

“Yeah, I hope so,” I said with a fierce nod. “Maybe you could do me a favor and go fu—”