Lucky Penny (25 page)

For stealing Blake.

After quickly checking that everyone was happy with the soup, I returned to the service area. I didn’t play these kinds of games. I thought I had made my peace about Blake having someone. But why did it have to be her? Of all people. She wasn’t even a good person. Maybe if he was with someone who was kind and warm and gentle, it would have been easier to come to terms with. I could have tried to, at least, been happy for him.

“I’m just going to the restrooms,” I said to Tara, who was busy checking over her clipboard again. “Sure,” she replied not even lifting her head away from Mary’s checklist.

The Grand was nice, but it didn’t have the facilities as some of the bigger venues we serviced. There were no staff restrooms in the vicinity, and I didn’t have the time to go in search of somewhere else to pee. I hurried into one of the stalls and shuffled my skirt up my legs. When I was finished, I flushed and exited the stall and walked straight into Brittany. She scowled and backed me up against the stall door, which had flung shut behind me. “I know who you are, Penny Wilson.”

“Wha- what? What are you talking about?”

It was a stupid reply; I knew exactly what she was talking about, but it was all I had. Panic had strangled all my intellectual thought processes.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.” Brittany stepped into me again forcing my back up against the solid door. It swung open and I stumbled backward, scrambling to stay upright.

“Brittany, come on, I have a j-”

Her eyes were alive with pure hatred. I imagined the same emotion reflected back at her, and although she had taken me by surprise, I was starting to feel the anger boil underneath the surface.

“Don’t you dare speak my name. You. Are. No one. If you come near Blake again, I will make sure you never find work again. If you know anything about my family and me, about Blake’s uncle, you’ll know I’m not lying.”

Blake’s uncle?
What did he have to do with this?

“Blake is mine. Not some trailer trash girl of his past. Stay away from him or you’ll regret it.” Brittany swung around and left the restrooms. I sunk to the floor and let the door close. What in hell’s name had just happened? Brittany knew who I was? But she knew more than that; she knew about our past… our connection.

The main door to the restrooms banged, and Tara yelled, “Second course is up, Penny. Come on.”

“Coming, I’m coming,” I yelled back, trying to hide the quiver in my voice.

Tara was wrong; Brittany wasn’t just a piranha. She was a shark, and I was swimming in open waters just trying to stay afloat. And I had a sinking feeling there was much more to Brittany’s threat than I realized.

For the rest of the evening, Brittany ignored me. She didn’t once look in my direction, but it didn’t appease my nerves any. I was still shaking when I finally reached The Oriental Garden. Everything had closed up for the night. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving. Even Mr. Chen and his family were closing the takeout for a couple of days, but it wasn’t being alone on Thanksgiving that was bothering me. It was Brittany’s warning. Her words lingered with me the whole ride back from Grandview Heights. Growing up, Daddy was a huge football fan, and he always used to say that the best form of defense was attack. Brittany had attacked me, which got me thinking.

What was she trying to defend?

As I rounded the corner to the stairwell, I had my answer. My whole world slowed down until there was nothing except for Blake sitting on the bottom step with his head in his hands, the first snow of winter falling around him.

First, Brittany.

Now, Blake.

It was going to be a long night.

B
lake looked up, and our eyes locked. The emotion staring back at me left me breathless. Needing to ground myself, I wrapped my arms around myself and said, “What are you doing here?”

He rose from the step and took a step toward me. I sucked in a sharp breath. Blake was already affecting me. A single look, and I was already crumbling.

“Everything is so fucked up.” His voice sounded so defeated.

The snow was falling harder now, the flakes covering everything with their white innocence. Funny really, that we were surrounded by something so beautiful when our history was the opposite. It was tragic and ugly and filled with what-ifs and could-have-beens. It was tainted. No, our story didn’t deserve snow; it deserved a storm. The kind of storm that left a trail of devastation in its wake.

I closed my eyes and counted to three. When I opened them again, Blake was watching me. “Why did you do that?”

“I wanted to know if this was real. If you’re really standing here outside of my apartment because tonight I served soup to your fiancée. Your fucking fiancée, Blake. So ask me again why I am sure this must be a dream? That this can’t possibly be happening.”

His face paled, and his hands came up to reach out to me. I stepped back. If he touched me, the last of my defenses would crumble. I had to stay strong.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” I repeated unable to hide the bitterness in my quivering voice. “Sorry for what exactly? The summer? For letting me think you still felt something for me, that after all this time there was still something real between us?” I threw my hands up in frustration. “Or are you sorry for forgetting to mention you had a fiancée? That you’re getting married—married, for fuck’s sake. You’re getting married, and you let me believe that you still loved me. That everything we shared, everything I felt all those years ago wasn’t just something my mind made up to cope with all the bullshit life rained down on me. That it was real.”

Somehow, I ended up standing right in front of Blake. I couldn’t even remember moving, but before I could think about it, my hands lunged at his chest. “IT WASN’T REAL,” I shrieked pushing hard against his solid frame. “NONE OF IT WAS REAL. IT WAS ALL A LIE. YOU LIED. I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU.” My fists pounded against his chest while ugly sobs tore from inside of me.

Standing there, in the back alley of The Oriental Garden and Bernie’s Bar with the snow falling all around us, I fell apart. My anger and frustration and hurt over everything that had happened poured out of me, and I continued to hit Blake. I cried for my parents leaving me on this earth alone. For Blake abandoning me when I needed him most. For Derek ruining my chances of ever having a normal healthy relationship. I cried for everything that had been and things that would never have the chance to be.

And Blake let me.

He didn’t try to stop me, or comfort me, or fight me off. He just stood there, taking each pound of my fist against his sweater. And when I was emotionally exhausted and had nothing left to give, I collapsed against him. He wrapped his arms around me, lifted me off the ground, and carried me up the stairs to my apartment. Blake found my key, opened the door, and carried me inside. I clung to him like he was my tether to reality, and as he lowered me to the floor to find the light switch, I whimpered. The loss of his touch physically hurt me, and although my hysterical cries had quieted to gentle sobs, I knew I was only one step away from breaking down again.

The situation hung between us, thick and heavy. Blake regarded me, wariness dancing in his eyes. He was probably two seconds from splitting. I didn’t speak. I couldn’t. But I didn’t look away either. Blake’s eyes drew me in, holding me there. If only I could translate what they were saying.

Blake made the first move. He stepped toward me. Not enough that I moved back, but enough that if I reached out, I could touch him. I didn’t. My hands remained firmly around my waist. If I moved them, I felt sure I would fall apart at the seams.

“It’s always been you, Pen.” Blake closed the distance between us, brushing my snow-covered hair out of my eyes. “My lucky Penny. I loved you when we were just two kids lost and alone…”

I squeezed my eyes tight. This was the part where he would finally be honest and own up to his mistake. His lies. This was the part where he would admit he loved Brittany. That whatever had existed between us was in the past. I held my breath, waiting.

Silence filled the room, and then an unsteady voice said, “... and I love you now.”

My eyes flew open and connected with Blake.

He loved me?

Me.

“But… but you’re marrying
her
.” I didn’t understand.

“There’s so much I have to explain, but right now, I really need to do this.” He pressed his lips to mine and everything fell away. All of the pain, the hurt, the betrayal disappeared in the feel of Blake’s lips moving against my own.

What was I doing?

“Stop, stop,” I murmured into his mouth, a war between my head and heart raging inside of me.

Blake sighed against my lips before pulling back just enough to look at me. “I can’t stop. Please, don’t make me stop. This last month has almost killed me. Do you know what it’s like to live a lie, pretending to be someone you’re not to everyone around you?” The pain in his eyes paralyzed me, and it was only when he dropped his forehead to mine that I managed to choke out, “Wha-”

Blake stole my words again. Strong hands skimmed underneath my butt and pulled me into him pressing us together until it was hard to tell where I ended and Blake began. This kiss was different from the one in the woods all those weeks ago. Even though that had felt desperate at the time, this was something else entirely. I could literally feel Blake’s emotion with every stroke of his tongue, every graze of his lips against mine. I was broken—certain I had nothing left to give—and yet, Blake was taking everything from me. At that moment, I was his air as much as he was mine. As much as I wanted to fight it, to tell myself that I hated him, the man standing in front of me was my everything. Pain. Anger. Hurt and frustration. Fear. Hate. Hope and love. Blake Weston was everything I’d ever felt and wanted to feel again.

I’d been lost for so long, but at that single moment, I was found.

The realization startled me like waking from a dream. I wound my hands around Blake’s neck and pulled him closer. I needed him to be closer, if that was possible. To know that he was really here. He smiled against my lips and scooped me up off the floor, cradling my body to his. We moved through the small room with me clinging on for life until the light faded into darkness. My back hit something soft as Blake covered my body with his own. He kissed me gently and then brushed the skin along the edge of my jaw with feather light kisses. A shiver started in my spine and ran through my whole body.

I’d imagined this. The feel of Blake’s lips on my skin. How it would make me feel. Nothing compared. My skin burned for him. Feather light kisses became gentle nips and when Blake’s teeth gently grazed the skin along my neck, I arched into him as my breaths coming in short bursts.

“Penny, I love you so damn much.” His warm breath lingered on my skin and then he was looking down at me in awe. “Do you realize how many nights I have spent dreaming of this moment?”

Suddenly feeling very exposed, I dropped my eyes and squeezed them shut.

“Hey, hey.” Blake tried to coax me to look at him. “Penny, please.”

What was I doing?

Things had unraveled so quickly that I’d had little time to process what was happening between us. I was too caught up in Blake. But now, I was very aware that he was here, in my apartment, lying on top on me. Expecting what? Something I didn’t know if I was ready to give.

“Penny, look at me. What is it?”

Slowly, I opened my eyes. The wariness in Blake’s eyes was back and embarrassment started to unfold in my stomach.
What are you doing?

“I…” The words lodged in my throat, and I shrugged Blake off me slightly. I couldn’t breathe with him weighing down on me like that. “There’s, hmm, there’s something you should know.”

Fear flashed in his eyes and my stomach knotted, but I needed to do this. This was a part of me. Inhaling deeply, I said, “I’ve never been with anyone, you know, in that way.”

“I, I don’t understand.” Blake rolled off me and sat on the edge of the bed. I shuffled up and sat up against the headboard. “What do you mean,
that
way?”