Lured In (22 page)

“Blindside?” Jessie roared. “How am I—”

“Son of a bitch.” Finn stood up so fast he knocked his chair over, and Liam's wasn't far behind.

“Stop it!” She grabbed the back of Finn's shirt and pulled until he backed up a step, then she pushed between him and the table and got right up in Liam's face. “How dare you? Have I ever done anything that wasn't in the best interest of this place?”

“No, but—”

“But what? You want me to sleep with Sam so you can get a guaranteed spot on his schedule next year, is that it?”

Finn tried to charge toward Liam again, but Jessie blocked him, pushing him back until he slumped against the wall.

“Come on, Jessie,” Kate said. “That's not fair; he didn't mean—”

“Fair?” she snorted. “You want to talk fair? How is it fair that I've spent most of my life working my ass off for this family, only to find out Liam here is willing to pimp me out to the first bidder?”

“That's not what I meant.”

“Really? 'Cause that's exactly what it sounded like to me.”

Taking his time, Liam righted his chair, then collapsed down on it as he scrubbed his hands over his face.

“I'm sorry,” he groaned. “Really. That's absolutely not what I meant. It's all coming out wrong.”

Kate reached around the corner of the table and pulled Jessie's chair out a little bit.

“Please, Jessie. I'm sure we can find a way to explain what we mean if we all just calm down first.”

Jessie didn't think any of them were about to calm down anytime soon, something she kept to herself as she turned and made her way back to her chair. But in the few seconds it took her to get there, something shifted in the air.

Kate couldn't seem to look at anyone, and Liam kept his twitchy gaze locked on his folded hands on the table. His face had paled, his expression grim and guilt-ridden as Jessie stared straight at him, waiting.

“Fuck.” Liam spat the curse out fast and sharp as he threw his hands in the air. “I swear, Jessie, I never meant that you should do anything with Sam, or anyone else for that matter. It's just that…well…you know we all love you, right?”

“Yeah,” she drawled. “You're making that abundantly clear right now.”

“We do. And all of us want you to be happy, and you said yourself, he's a good guy, so we just want to make sure…” He flicked a last worried glance Finn's way before lowering his head a little and sighing. “We don't want anything—or anyone—to jeopardize what could turn out to be a good thing between you and him.”

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.” Finn's muffled curse pulled Jessie's attention back to him, but he'd covered his face with his hands, so she whipped around to Liam.

“What are you trying so hard not to say?” she asked, wishing something would start to make sense. “There's nothing between Sam and me, so there's nothing to be jeopardized.”

“But maybe there could be,” Kate said. “If you give it a chance, I mean, don't you think it's possible?”

“No!” Jessie cried. “I don't, and why are we even talking about this? Since when does anyone here give a shit about who I spend my personal time with?”

Liam and Kate both started talking, their words tripping over each other so it was impossible to make either of them out clearly, but that didn't matter, because all she heard was the quiet pain in Finn's voice.

“They know,” he said. “About us. And you're right, they don't give a shit who you spend time with, so long as it isn't me.”

“What!” No, that couldn't be true—none of it. But as Jessie looked over at Kate and then Liam, their sudden silence confirmed it. “You know? How?”

A few painful seconds passed before Kate finally sighed. “We've suspected for a few days but weren't sure until…until now.”

“Oh my God…and you…but
why
?”

“Fuck this.” Finn only made it two steps before Jessie jumped up and grabbed his arm.

“Stay.”

“Jess—” He stopped short when she jerked him so hard that he had no choice but to look at her. She didn't say anything else to him, just slid her hand down until it was wrapped around his. Then she turned to Liam and Kate.

In all the years she'd spent around the O'Donnell family, Jessie had been plenty angry plenty of times, but this…this was an anger she'd never felt before, an anger that didn't erupt out of her in its usual way.

Instead, this was a deep, thunderous rage, which for some unknown reason made her speak slowly, almost calmly.

“What the hell is wrong with you two?” she asked, enunciating each word slowly.

“Jessie, please.”

“Don't ‘Jessie' me, Liam, you self-serving son of a bitch. All that talk earlier about
Ashley
—that was really me you were talking about?”

“Jess, don't,” Finn said, his voice so quiet it almost knocked her backward, but she shook it off and kept focused on Liam, who should be damn thankful she didn't fly across that table and gouge his eyes out.

“And so what?” she demanded. “You thought that if you pointed out to me in such a ridiculous roundabout way that Finn hasn't had a perfect past, or that there might be a minuscule chance for Sam and me, that I'd kick Finn's ass to the curb before he could do it to me? Is that it?”

Liam didn't even look at her, just kept his head down. “We were trying to protect you.”

“Protect me?”
she cried. “From who—
Finn
? Your own brother? Can you even hear how messed up that is?”

“I know,” Liam muttered. “And I'm sorry, but you know what he's like, Jess.”

“Yeah,” she said, nodding emphatically. “I know exactly what he's like. And I know why, too.”

“So do I.” Lifting his gaze to Finn, Liam raised his hands for a second before letting them fall back to the table, the sound echoing through the sudden stillness. “What did you think—that Ro and I somehow slept through the racket that night? Jesus, Finn.”

Finn had yet to say a word; he just stood there, shoulders down, watching Liam through pain-filled eyes.

“For God's sake, Liam.” It took another second before Jessie could breathe again. “Why didn't you ever say something?”

“What was I supposed to say? Talking about shit wasn't how we were raised—you push it down and keep moving. Good and bad, there's a whole bunch of shit we've never talked about.”

She knew that was true; she hated it, but the O'Donnells were who they were, and talking things through was still a relatively new concept to them.

“Look.” Liam took a deep breath and huffed it out. “I know there's no way a kid can hear his own mother say shit like that and not be fucked up by it, and I'm sorry, I really am. But Maggie didn't leave because of you, you stupid shit. She left because she was a bitch. She chose to marry the old man, she chose to move halfway around the fuckin' world with him so she could get away from Dublin, and she chose to have three kids—you didn't force her into any of that. And if she was so fuckin' overwhelmed with just Ro and me, then she should have done something about it, but she didn't.”

The silence was so thick Jessie could almost touch it.

“So then you have to understand—” she started, but Liam growled like a mad dog.

“It doesn't matter what I understand, Jessie; it doesn't change anything. You know as well as I do that this is going to end the same way it always ends with Finn. It's just a matter of time.”

“A matter of time?” she cried. “Who the hell do you think you are to say that about him? To say that to me?”

“Oh, for—” Liam shoved out of his chair again and paced the floor behind it. “You think this is easy for me? You think I like standing here and saying these fuckin' things about my own brother? I don't—but you're my family, too, Jess.”

“Bullshit!”

“What—”

“All those years you were off playing ball, how often did you call me just to chat, to wish me a happy birthday or shoot the breeze? How many times do you think Ronan did it?”

“Well, I—”

“Not once. Sure, you guys would call to see how Jimmy was doing or how the lodge was getting along—hell, sometimes you even phoned to let me know you'd be coming in—but not once did either of you ever make me a part of your family.”

His mouth opened like a great stupid fish, but Jessie held up her free hand to stop whatever was going to come out of it.

“Now guess how many times Finn did those things,” she said. “Go on, guess.”

Of course he didn't have to. Everyone in the room knew the answer.

“I've got a shoe box full of birthday cards downstairs if you want to see them. He called me every week, even when I was living in the city, and he's the only one who's ever asked to meet anyone in my family.”

“Well, I didn't think—”

“That's right,” she cried. “You didn't. If I were your
family,
Liam, if I meant anything more to you or Ronan than just someone who kept this place running, then you would have thought about it. Finn did. So if you want to know why I've changed and why nothing will ever happen between Sam and me again, it's because of him.”

She still had Finn's hand clutched in hers, which unfortunately for him meant that when her hand sailed through the air and backhanded him against the chest, he basically hit himself.

“That's right. I'm in love with Finn—and if Sam Ross is too stupid to see we never stood a chance to start with, then that's his problem. And I don't give a flying shit what he does with his stupid show anymore! He can shove it up his ass for all I care.”

It wasn't until she realized how long Liam stood there, openmouthed, gaping at her in unbroken silence, that Jessie's brain registered what she'd said. Finn still hadn't moved, either, just stood there beside her, head bowed, as the muscle in his jaw twitched.

Shit
.

“What?” she snapped, ripping her hand free of his. “No one has anything to say about
that
? No smart-ass remark, no joke?”

Her chest heaved with each breath and a knot of bile stuck deep in her throat, but she wasn't sorry she'd said it. She might be later, but right now she was too pissed off.

Using every ounce of inner strength she had, she inhaled deeply, lifted her chin, and forced back the tears that threatened to start welling. Oh no, she wasn't having that.

“Right, then,” she said. “I'm going to bed.”

“Sometimes you really have to squirm to get off the hook.”

Finn shouldn't have punched Liam, at least not more than once. The first one he'd deserved, because he was being a prick, but the second one…

He hadn't swung that second time because Liam had admitted to knowing about Ma, and it wasn't even because Liam and Kate had basically come out and said Finn would never be anything but a screwup. He wouldn't deny those things cut him, and cut him deep, but that's not what made him swing a second time.

The only reason he took the second shot, cheap as it was, was that he was pissed off at himself and he'd hoped Liam would fight back, maybe knock him on his ass for a minute.

The whole time Liam and Kate had laid him out like that, Finn hadn't done a damn thing. Even after Jess defended him and then stunned all of them by announcing she was in love with him, he'd just stood there like a big dumb shit and let her walk out of the room.

If anyone had deserved a good pounding, it was him, not Liam.

What the fuck was wrong with him? He never should have let her take one single step without telling her what he'd known for weeks: that in his whole life he'd never felt the way he did when he was with her and that it scared the shit out of him, because he knew he was going to do something sooner or later to screw it up.

And they all knew it, too.

But instead of stepping up and saying something—
anything
—he'd let her walk out and then he stared at the floor until Liam made the mistake of calling him a fuckin' idiot.

Having it out with one of his brothers usually made him feel better, but not tonight. Tonight it made everything worse, not just because Liam's bad arm made it impossible for him to fight back, but because Finn knew Jess would be pissed that he'd done it. Worse, she'd be disappointed.

As the hours ticked slowly past, Finn gradually began to accept the truth. Sure, he could be as pissed off as he liked over the fact his own brother had tried to warn Jess away from him—and he was plenty pissed, no question. But despite the way that shit-show played out upstairs, at the end of the day, Kate and Liam were only trying to protect Jess, and Finn couldn't fault them for that.

And, sure, he'd been more than a little humiliated to realize none of them thought Finn had it in him to change, but the fact was, Finn had never given them any reason to think differently.

He could punch Liam a hundred times and it wouldn't make any of that less true.

Frustrated and exhausted, and after about the twentieth time of kicking his blanket off and then pulling it back on, Finn finally gave up and left it balled at the foot of the bed.

The only blanket he wanted was the one he'd had last night: Jess's soft naked body sprawled on top of him, her hair tickling his chest, her breath fluttering against his skin.

Best night ever.

Maybe if he went and talked to her, told her what he should have said hours ago, maybe that would help him sleep. But it was the middle of the freakin' night; she was probably sleeping.

“You're not,” he muttered.

Three times he started for the door, then stopped. What if she wouldn't talk to him? What if that crazy brain of hers had already run her through all the possible outcomes and had convinced her that she'd be better off cutting her losses now?

“And what if you just stop being a wuss and go do it?”

Before he let his fear talk him out of it, Finn pulled on a pair of boxers, yanked open the door, and ran smack into Jess.

“Ooof.” Grunting, she stumbled back a step, but Finn caught her by the arm before she could fall.

“You okay?”

Her big brown eyes blinked up at him for a second before she slowly shook her head.

“No.”

He would have expected her to be pissed off, sad even, but she wasn't. Instead, she looked a little flustered, a little uncertain, and a whole lot adorable standing there in her orca-print nightgown.

“Yeah, me neither.” He let his hand slide down her arm, then hooked his pinky finger around hers. What was he supposed to say next? How did a guy apologize for being such a dick?

“Come on; it's cold standing out here.” Unhooking her finger, Jess moved past him into the room, crawled up on his bed, and tugged the blanket up to her chin. “Apparently I sleep better with you snoring directly in my ear instead of down the hall.”

“That,” he said, expelling a huge breath, “is excellent news.”

He kicked the door closed then crawled into bed and wrapped himself around her so her back was pressed against his chest and her perfect little butt was settled tight against him.

“Mmmm.” Tugging on his hand, she curled both of hers around it and tucked it all up between her breasts. “That's better.”

It was better than better; it was perfect.

“Jess.” He breathed a kiss behind her earlobe, right where he knew she liked it, then tightened his hold on her as she shivered. “I'm sorry.”

“What for?” she whispered. “You didn't do anything.”

“I know, and I should have.”

Jess tried to wriggle around, but her nightgown twisted the wrong way, making it take longer than Finn would have liked. By the time she'd dragged the nightgown around so she could face him, she was a bit flushed.

“You could just take it off, you know.”

His helpful suggestion was flat-out ignored.

Lying face-to-face now, she took his hand again and tucked it back up between her breasts, a position he could quite easily get used to.

“You have nothing to apologize for. Liam was way out of line.”

“No, he wasn't; he was just looking out for you.”

“I don't need him looking out for me, especially when at least part of his motive is self-serving.”

“What d'you mean?”

“I mean we're all pinning our hopes on the fact
Hooked
will put this place on the map, and none of us more than Liam. God, he'd probably give his right arm to have me kiss up to Sam if it would help to keep them coming back every year, because the sooner this place starts turning a profit, the sooner he and Kate can get out of that shed they live in and maybe build a house so they can start a family.”

Finn could already picture it, too: Kate, Liam, and enough kids to field their own ball team. And while the image of that made Finn smile, it also left him feeling something he wasn't prepared to feel: envious.

“So I can appreciate why he wants to start making money,” Jess said. “But I resent him trying to use me to do it, and I think they're both total shits for trying to steer me away from you.”

“Maybe,” Finn murmured. “But they weren't wrong about my track record, so can you really blame them?”

“I don't care about your track record.” Her gaze lowered to his mouth, and if she didn't stop looking at him like that, those orcas were going to end up in shreds pretty quick. “I only care about right here, right now.”

She looked so sure, sounded so sure, and yet…

“What?” she asked. “You don't believe me?”

He wanted to believe her, he really did.

“Finn?”

It took him a couple of seconds, but he finally managed to say it.

“A week or so ago you told me you knew this wouldn't last, so how can you say you don't care about the past, when you're already planning the future based on it?”

A wave of guilt washed through her eyes, turning her mouth into a slow frown.

“I'm sorry,” she said. “That night I…I was a little freaked out, and I really thought I knew what would happen, but then you went and changed everything on me.”

“Me? What did I do?”

Her gaze fell to his lips again, just briefly, as color raced up her cheeks and made her blink twice as fast as normal.

“You went and made me realize I was in love with you after I told myself I wouldn't do that.”

Finn's smile started slowly, but only because he was trying not to look like an idiot by letting it all out at once.

“Yeah, well, it's not often I get to make you do something you don't want to do,” he said. “So…you're welcome.”

Unlike him, Jess let her smile burst out all at once and then immediately tried to bury her face in the pillow.

“Hey.” Finn tugged his hand free and fingered her hair back. “Since we're on the subject, I gotta tell ya—you really need to work on your presentation.”

“I know,” she cried, laughing into the pillow. “I'm sorry—I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that.”

“Oh no, don't get me wrong,” he chuckled. “It wasn't the blurting I had trouble with; it was the fact you told my stupid brother before you told me.”

With a quiet snort, Jess rolled over a little so she was looking up at him again.

“That's not entirely true,” she said. “I sort of told you both at the same time.”

“Yeah, that's still not right.” Finn didn't give a rat's ass how she'd said it, and he was pretty sure she knew that. “Besides, I thought we agreed that you'd loop me in on the things batting around inside that pretty head of yours.”

“Only the things that I needed help figuring out,” she said. “And I didn't need any help on that.”

“No?” He didn't know why they were whispering again, but he didn't care, either. It seemed to make everything closer, more intimate.

“Mm-mm. It's the first thing that's made perfect sense to me in a while.”

He had to look away for a second, not because he had to work up his nerve, but because having her in his bed, gazing at him with those beautiful eyes, and saying things he never thought he'd hear—things he never thought he'd
want
to hear—was massively overwhelming and he didn't want to screw it up.

But he didn't want to say nothing again, either; he just needed a second to get a grasp on everything whirling around inside him.

“Well, here's the thing about that,” he said. “It's the only thing that's—”

“Don't.” She pressed her fingers against his mouth, so softly he almost thought he'd imagined it. “If you say it now, there'll always be a little part of me that thinks you're only saying it because I said it first or because I forced you to admit it.”

“But you already—”

“Please?” Her smile faded as her fingers stilled against his chin. “I know it's crazy, because part of me already believes you do, but when you say it—
if
you say it—I don't want it to be for any other reason than you can't hold it in anymore.”

“So you want me to yell it in Liam's face like you did?”

“God, no.” There it was, that smile. “I think we've sufficiently freaked him out enough for a while.”

Finn wrapped her fingers in his again and tugged them out of the way so he could kiss her, just once, long, slow, and gentle.

“Jess,” he murmured. “You're not quite right in the head, you know that, eh?”

“Yeah.” Her whisper tickled his lip. “It's one of the things you love about me.”

Damn right it was, but apparently he wasn't allowed to say as much yet. That was okay, though, because talking was overrated anyway. Why say it when he could show her instead?

“Don't suppose you'd like to lose those stupid orcas, would you?”

“What's wrong with the orcas?” Laughing, she rolled onto her back and started tugging the nightgown up. “I like them.”

“Like I said, not quite right in the…
Sheeeeze
.”

Finn whistled, low and quiet. If he'd known she was going commando tonight, that damn nightgown never would have made it into the room.

“A little help here please,” she cried.

With her back still pressed against the mattress, and the fabric of her nightgown chafing against the sheets, there was quite a tangled mess around her neck and head, but it worked well for Finn, because it gave him wide-open access to everything else.

He smoothed his hand over each of her breasts, then traced the same path with his mouth, kissing and tasting his way as she struggled to finally free herself.

Already flushed from the exertion, Jess laughed, her lips trembling as Finn trailed slow kisses down her stomach and across her hip.

“Ah,” she gasped sharply, as he ran his hands along the insides of her thighs and gently nudged them apart. “Any chance you could…
oh
…speed things up?”

Finn pressed the first of many soft kisses against her thigh and chuckled. “Sorry, sweetheart, I'm going to be a while here.”

Longer than just a while, actually. By the time he was done with her, he knew what every inch of her tasted like, knew that kissing that spot on her back, right above her butt, sent shivers racing all the way up her spine, and that massaging her feet would get him pretty much anything he wanted.

Turned out that the thing he wanted most was simple: her lips and hands all over him and him buried deep inside her.

What more could a guy ask for?

Jess had never been one to hold a grudge, and she wasn't shy to admit when she was wrong or when she might have overreacted. And for those two reasons, they started the next morning with fresh cinnamon buns and coffee from the percolator.

Finn was leaning over her shoulder as she rinsed out the dishcloth, whispering kisses against the side of her neck, when the back door opened. Bracing himself for anything else Liam might have left to throw at him, Finn shifted over so he was side by side with Jess.

“Hey.” With his left cheek swollen and purple, Liam stepped cautiously into the kitchen ahead of Kate and offered Jessie a small apologetic grin.

Not surprising, she didn't return the smile, but that wasn't because she was still pissed off—at least not at Liam right then.

“God almighty, Finn—why does
everything
have to end with somebody bleeding?”