Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (78 page)

‘Where were ye, Ma? I was worried!'

‘Wha?' she said.

‘Why did ye go off on yer own without tellin me?'

‘Ah! I had te hurry, an you were sleepin. An I knew I'd be quicker on me own!'

‘But where did ya go te?'

‘Ah! Don't be talkin,' me ma said, laughin. ‘Where didn't I get te, would be more the question. Look!' she said. ‘We've plenty a money.' An she counted out eleven pounds!

‘Where did ye get all a tha money?' I whispered, not believin me eyes.

‘Well! First, I went down te the Welfare Office an got money offa them fer the rent. Tha aul one gave me a letter statin we're livin here. An money fer our keep. Then I went te see someone I used te know, an I got a few pounds from them. An I went inta a café in one a them big shops. An they were offerin work in the kitchen. So I started tha straight away.' Then she started laughin an nearly choked on a chip. ‘Jaysus!' she said, wipin her nose an eyes wit the sleeve of her cardigan. ‘They put me in the scullery wit a mile long a pots an pans, an gave me a big rubber apron, down te me ankles, an a huge pair a rubber boots, an told me te get crackin. I thought the money was grand until I saw what I was lettin meself in fer! I was swimmin in water. “Ah, no!” I said, after I dragged meself up on me feet after then scrubbin huge floors. “This won't suit me at all. Ye can give me the wages I've earned, I'm not comin back.”'

I couldn't believe me ma took a job! I didn't think she had tha in her. I looked at her in wonder. She seemed different somehow, younger! ‘How old are ye, Ma?'

‘Who, me?' me ma asked. ‘Eh! I'm twenty-seven.'

‘Tha's young, Ma! Not very old at all,' I said, thinkin me ma could look lovely if she did herself up. ‘Ma! We'll be able te pay the rent!'

‘Wha? No! We're not stayin here. Tomorrow, we'll go te Shepherd's Bush te the markets. An we'll go te Petticoat Lane. We need te get ourselves a few clothes. I'll be glad te see the back a these rags we're wearin. Then on Saturday, we'll head off te Birmingham. Come on. I'm gettin inta bed before the legs drop offa me.' An she tidied away the food an put the papers under the bed. An put out the light an pulled off her frock an climbed in beside me. I snuggled up te her back, feelin I was on top of the world an God is lookin after us, an I was happy knowin He's still there.

We got off the bus at Shepherd's Bush markets. An me ma was in a hurry. ‘Come on, Martha!' she said, laughin, an her head was flyin from one side te the other tryin te decide wha te look at first. ‘Ah! We need te get ourselves a bag,' she said, rushin off.

‘Wait, Ma, I don't want te get lost!'

‘Come on,' she said, hurryin. ‘We've nothin te carry the stuff in.' She flew past stalls, an then her eyes lit on a pile a suitcases an shoppin bags an handbags. Me ma picked up a big suitcase an winked at me. The market was crowded, but there was only another woman beside us browsin at the handbags. An the owner was sittin on a big high stool drinkin a mug a tea an suckin on a cigarette. He was watchin his stuff like a hawk.

‘Come on, Ma,' I said, pullin her sleeve.

‘Ah, wait,' she said, smilin. ‘Gimme time.' Then she picked up a big leather shoppin bag. ‘How much is this? Eh, Mister?' An she gave a little cough an a laugh.

Yer man held the cigarette in the corner of his mouth, closin one eye against the smoke pourin in an sized me ma up wit the other. ‘Ten bob! An that's cheap. You'll pay fifteen bob in the High Street.' He saw me ma's face drop. ‘But I'll tell yer wot I'll do! I'll let yer have it fer eight bob. An I'm robbin meself. But I likes the look a you!'

‘Come on, Ma!' I roared, an I moved off.

‘Ah, tha's very dear!' me ma said te me back as I walked off.

I walked up a bit an waited fer her te catch up. ‘Did ye not like tha, Martha? Tha bag would suit us grand,' she said, chewin her lip.

‘No, Ma! We can't afford te pay tha kind a money on just a bag. An tha fella is a robber.'

‘Yeah! Pity, though,' me ma said, lookin woebegone. ‘But we need te see if we can get somethin te carry stuff in first.'

‘Yeah! Wait until there's a crowd aroun him, then we'll whip it,' I said.

We moved on, stoppin at a stall wit mounds a clothes. ‘Look at this!' me ma said, liftin up a brown coat tha was doin the rounds when Queen Victoria was livin. ‘Go on! Try it on,' me ma said. ‘It'll keep ye nice an warm. There's nothin wrong wit it.'

I put the coat on, an it had a mangy fur collar. It felt damp, an the linin was torn, an there was a hole in one of the pockets. It was faded an old lookin, like it had definitely seen better days. ‘Tha's grand on ye,' me ma said, standin back te look.

‘Yeah, OK, Ma, it will do,' I said, lookin up te see if there was anyone watchin. I kept the coat on an moved away. I had no intention of even givin the time a day fer the coat never mind partin wit money.

I looked back te see how things were at the bag stall, an there was a few people moochin aroun. The owner was arguin the price wit a man holdin a suitcase. He was puttin it down an walkin off, an yer man was chasin him wit the case. ‘All right! All right! I'll tell yer wot I'll do.' An the man turned back.

‘Quick, Ma! Grab the bag!' I flew down lookin fer it, an me ma rushed over, pickin it up from the back.

‘Here it is!' she whispered, liftin her eyebrows an lookin aroun te see if anyone was watchin.

‘Give it te me!' an I grabbed the bag, puttin it down by me side an throwin a glance at yer man who was still arguin an pushin the suitcase inta the other man's hand. His back was turned te me. An I turned aroun an slowly headed off in the opposite direction. We kept walkin until we were outa sight an then stopped at a stall wit a huge mountain a clothes. I couldn't reach up. ‘Tha's beautiful,' me ma said, pickin up a jumper fer herself an rollin it inta a ball, an winkin down at me, an flickin it over the edge te land in the new bag. I was holdin it open! Nobody could see me over the clothes. So all I had te do was wait fer them te drop an catch them in the bag an squash them down in the blink of an eye an wait fer more.

‘How much is them lovely sheets over there, Mrs?' me ma said, pointin te the back of the woman. Skirts, slips, knickers an shoes landed in me bag. An shoes banged me in the face, cos me ma was busy concentratin on the woman. I leaned forward te catch the stuff fallin te the ground an got the buckle of a belt in the eye. ‘Ah, no, not them, the other ones!' me ma roared te the woman.

I had te slap the leg of a fat woman tha was standin on me hand. ‘Ah, my Gawd!' she screamed, jumpin back an lookin at me.

‘Sorry, Mrs! I'm tryin te fix me shoe, an ye stood on me.' I jumped up, liftin the heavy bag twice the size of meself, an took off lookin like I was goin on me holidays wit all the clothes. Me ma hurried after me, an I was strugglin wit two hands tryin te carry it. ‘Grab the bag, Ma!' I puffed. An she looked back te make sure no one was after us an grabbed the bag, hurryin off laughin.

We kept movin. Then I spotted a stall wit boxes a soap an lovely smellin things, an I stopped te get a look, sayin, ‘Wait, Ma, look!'

‘There's towels,' me ma said, eyein the pile a new towels. I picked up a box of smellin stuff wit soap an slid it under me arm. Then I examined a towel, an when no one was lookin, I folded it up an moved off. ‘Come on,' me ma said. ‘We have enough.'

We got off the bus in Paddington an hurried back te the room. Me ma emptied the bag out onta the bed. I grabbed a frock an held it up te get a look. Me ma was examinin a black skirt. ‘How does this look, Ma?' I said, standin back an straightenin meself up.

‘It's a bit big fer ye.'

I looked. Yeah, it's fer a big young one twice the size a me. It was swimmin on me an halfway down me legs. ‘Here!' me ma said. ‘Put them on ya.' I tried on a big blue pair a knickers, an the legs dropped down past me knees.

I kept lookin at them. ‘These are fer women, Ma. They don't fit me!' I said, disappointed.

Me ma was tryin te squeeze herself inta the black skirt. ‘They'll keep ye warm,' me ma said, puttin her hand on her mouth an laughin.

‘Ye're makin a laugh a me!' I roared.

‘No!' she said, searchin fer the other stockin an lookin at me holdin up me frock an starin at the size of me knickers. ‘Where's the other nylon te go wit this?' An she held up the stockin. ‘Ah! There it is!' I watched her puttin on the nylons. I'd never seen her put anythin on her legs before. ‘Ah, fuck!' she said when she stood up te admire herself an the nylons fell down. ‘I've nothin te hold them up wit!' I picked up a big red, white an blue jumper wit Ba, Ba, Black Sheep on it. I pulled it over me head, an it went down te me knees.

I stood back, wonderin if I was lovely in it or not. ‘Wha do ye think, Ma?'

‘Eh! It's lovely! Keep ye nice an warm.' I examined her face te see if she was tellin the truth. She put her hand te her mouth an turned away.

‘Where's the jumper I got fer meself?' she said, buryin her head in the clothes. ‘Ah! Here it is!' An she held up a tight-fittin baby-blue jumper an held it up te the skirt.

‘Ye're laughin at me, Ma!' I roared. ‘Cos ye know I look like someone let outa Grangegorman fer the day!'

Me ma roared laughin. ‘Come on,' she said. ‘Keep lookin! There must be somethin decent here te wear. Oh, look! There's a lovely pair a navy-blue gaiters tha should fit ye.'

I whipped the trousers on, an the strap under me feet was a bit long, an they hung down in rolls. I'm not wearin them. They're too big. I whipped them off. ‘Do ye like tha?' me ma asked, standin back te admire her jumper an skirt.

‘Yeah! But ye're all hangin down in the front, Ma.'

‘Hold on,' she said. ‘There must be a brassiere here somewhere. I know I saw one. I had it in me hand a minute ago. Oh, look, Martha! Here's the boots I got ya. They should fit ya.'

I looked at them. All fur on the inside an a zip up the side. I shot me feet inta them an zipped them up, lookin down at meself. They were grand, just a little bit big. But they didn't look right wit me bare legs an frock. Somethin was missin. I whipped them off an put the trousers back on an took off the frock. An now I was standin in me boots wit the trousers pushed inside them an the jumper on top. An I stood back happily. ‘Wha do ye think, Ma?'

‘Yeah! Them's lovely!'

I walked up an down, feelin inches bigger in me furry boots. An I was lovely an warm in me knickers an trousers. An the jumper looked lovely now, over me trousers.

‘Wha do ye think of this?' me ma said, smilin an lookin down at herself, movin from side te side.

‘God, Ma! Ye look lovely! Did ye get the jacket te match?'

‘Yeah!' she said. ‘It's a suit.'

I stood back lookin at the lovely black suit. The jacket fitted her grand, an she looked lovely in the jumper. An her diddies were standin up an pointin wit the brassiere on, an I'd never seen her look like tha before. ‘Wait till ye see these,' an she put on a pair of black patent high-heel shoes an tried te balance herself walkin up an down. She kept wobblin, an I roared laughin. ‘Come on,' she said, takin them off, ‘before I break me neck. Let's put these away, an we'll go up te tha Woolworths. There's a few things I need. I want te get a bit of elastic te keep me nylons up. An we'll buy a comb. An I might even get a tube a lipstick. Then we'll get somethin te eat. We'll get ourselves fish an chips.'

‘Right, Ma. Hurry!' I said, all excited.

The landlady slammed the front door after us as we left the house. ‘She's ragin, Ma, cos ye didn't give her the rent.'

‘Let her rage! We only stayed a few extra days.'

We made our way fer the bus. Me ma tryin te balance on her high heels. ‘Take it easy! Stop pullin at me an hold the bag up. I'm goin te break me neck in these high heels,' me ma roared.

‘I am, Ma! But we'll never get te Euston station if ye don't walk faster.'

‘Ah! Holy Jaysus, wait! Me nylons is slippin down.'

I dropped the handle of the bag te watch me ma. She took a quick look aroun te see if anyone was watchin an then pulled the stockins up under her skirt an put a tighter knot in the elastic. A big whistle came from somewhere, an me ma's head spun aroun, an she tore her skirt down. ‘Cor! What a gorgeous bit a stuff!' An aul fella pedallin his bicycle winked an nodded his head at me ma as he puffed past.

‘Ye dirty aul sod, ye!' me ma roared after starin at him wit her mouth open. He turned his head back, blowin kisses at me ma. An she laughed an picked up the handle of the bag, sayin, ‘Go easy. We'll get there if ye take yer time.'

The bus arrived, an we tried te get on. ‘Hold this! Take the bag!' me ma said, tryin te grab a hold of the bar an haul herself up. I took the bag an watched her hoppin her leg up an down, tryin te get onta the platform. But her skirt was too tight. ‘Jaysus!' she panted. ‘Give us a hand, Martha!' but the conductor flew past me an grabbed me ma aroun the waist an hoisted her up wit his arms wrapped aroun her, an her exposin the tops of her stockins an the legs of her knickers. ‘Ah, Jaysus! Put me down,' she laughed, tryin te fix her skirt an pull up the stockins tha rolled down. Everyone was leanin forward te get a good look. An the men clapped, an some of the older women muttered te each other tha she was disgraceful!

I walked down the bus lookin fer an empty seat, an everyone was laughin. ‘Wait, Martha,' me ma roared, makin a show of me. An she was laughin, makin herself even more foolish. I sat down, pushin meself inta the winda an stared out, not mindin me ma talkin te herself an laughin about not bein used te the high heels.

The conductor came rushin up an wrapped his arm aroun the back of me ma. An rested himself against the seat an sang. ‘You are my heart's desire,' an then whispered somethin in her ear. Me ma roared laughin, delighted wit herself.