Mad Addiction (Crazy Beautiful #2) (23 page)

An hour later Kelley and I are standing on the beach, hands linked, just us, the waves, and Edward Brown—thank fucking god Marge’s husband is a JP.

I’m not going to lie, there was a moment there when I thought I lost my fucking mind. I mean, me . . . get married? Really settle down and have the kid and wife and fucking Sunday pancake breakfasts or some shit?

But standing here, looking at Kelley . . . her brown hair messy from the wind, wearing fucking stretchy maternity pants and a red long-sleeved shirt that hugs her round curves, her fucking gorgeous, intense eyes looking at me with such hope and trust . . . fuck. In this moment I know I love her, and I’ve loved her ever since I claimed her on the floor of that damn storage shed.

And the thought fucking terrifies me, because I’ve never said those words to anyone in my life. I don’t know that I can. Feeling is one thing, but actually admitting it out loud? Love is a weakness. What if she doesn’t feel the same . . . what if this is only about appearances for her?

Edward’s deep voice pulls me back to the present moment as we begin.

“This is an important moment—it’s a celebration of love, commitment, friendship, and family. We have thousands of important moments that happen in our lives, though, so what makes this special? Why this moment? Because it’s a collective, passionate breath signifying two people who are in it for forever. Because despite any differences, love is what we share. It's the great unifier, our one universal truth. No matter who we are, where we come from, or what we believe, we know this one thing: love is what we're doing right. And even though this experience is so incredible, words fail us when we try and explain it. That's just the way it is with love—it's meant to be felt, not described. But even though we still try to describe love in different ways—and even though love can look different—we all know it when we see it. And we see it here. You fell in love by chance, but you're here today because you're making a choice. You’re choosing each other. And so it is the most profound moment you can ever hope to experience.”

As the sun sets, I know that this is in fact the best choice and the best moment of my entire life.

“Do you, Ryan Blake, promise to keep Kelley Brooks as your favorite person—to laugh with her, surprise her, support her through life's tough moments, kill spiders for her, grow old with her, and find new reasons to love her every day?”

There’s no question. No hesitation. Just truth. “I do.”

We didn’t have time to get rings, so I slip a small loop of twine around her finger.

“And do you, Kelley Brooks, promise to keep Ryan Blake as your best friend—to laugh with him, comfort him through good & bad times, have sex with him in showers, always sleep naked with him, grow a family with him, and find new reasons to love him every day?”

. . . I may have asked him to add one or two things to Kelley’s vows. By the way happy tears trail down her cheeks and a smile lights up her face, I’d say she doesn’t mind.

Without ever breaking her gaze from mine, Kelley whispers softly, but surely, “I do.” She slips a matching piece of twine on my finger.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Ryan, you may ki—”

I can’t wait another second to feel Kelley’s sweet, maddening lips on mine. I knew from my very first taste nine months ago that I would get addicted as fuck. But hell, I’ll gladly be a Kelley Brooks addict for the rest of my friggin’ life. It would be my pleasure.

And hers.

As soon as our lips collide my heart beats wildly against my ribs. No wonder it needs a fucking cage. I feel desperate and determined to keep this woman forever. Longer than forever. Everything I told her today was true, more than I even knew until the words came spilling out. But the choice to marry her was clear and unmistakable. I want this. I want her.

Even if I can’t say it, I plan to show her just how much I fucking care. It may not be the fairytale she imagined, but I promise to spend the rest of my life trying to be the best version of myself I can be. Just call me Ryan Fucking Charming.

By the time we finally break our kiss, the sun is almost fully set and Edward is nowhere to be found. For a split second I think I dreamt the whole thing, so I reach out to cup Kelley’s face. I feel her warm skin beneath my palm, reassuring me that this is real.

She looks at me with a shy smile. “That really happened.”

“Yeah, babe, it did.” I rest my forehead on hers.

She blushes and looks so goddamn beautiful that I can’t wait any longer to get her alone and bury myself inside her. I grab her hand and pull her toward our hotel.

As soon as we get inside our room I pin her against the back of the door, careful not to hurt her or the baby, but feeling like a fucking animal. Her soft whimpers have me pulling back, realizing she deserves more than some quick fuck against the door. She deserves to be fucking worshipped, and that’s exactly what I plan to do. I may not be able to tell her I love her yet, but I can sure as shit show her.

I press one last kiss to her lips before slowing down and leading her to the foot of the king sized bed. I let my hands explore her body before I pull off her shirt and slide down her pants, needing to see every unexposed part of her. When I have her completely bare before me it’s as if all the air is sucked from my lungs. Never before has the thought of a pregnant chick done anything for me, but seeing
this
pregnant chick—
my wife
—carrying our child, an entire person only the two of us could have created together . . . well let’s just say my dick approves.
A lot.

I kneel before her and press a kiss to her right ankle, slowly making my way up her body, kissing across every inch of her skin. When I get to her lips, I slide my tongue across them, craving her fucking intoxicating taste. She moans into my mouth before desperately begging, “Please Ryan. I need you. All of you.”

I remove my own clothes and guide her to lay on the bed. I crawl up to spoon her small body. From this position I can support her leg, which I lift to angle myself at her entrance from behind. I kiss her shoulder and the spot right at the base of her neck, whispering that she’s mine. I slowly push myself inside her, taking my time to feel every inch of her. She feels even more incredible than ever before. I don’t know that I can say I ever made love to a woman before, but if it’s always like this, I’ll give up merely fucking for the rest of my life. But I know this is an experience I’ll only ever get to share with Kelley Brooks.

No longer able to hold back, I grip her thigh, stretching her wider, and thrust deeper. Her moans let me know she’s more than ok with it. I continue my pace until I feel her muscles contract, and a pleasured cry falls from her lips. I allow myself to let go a second later, burying my face in her neck. Once we both have a chance to recover, I move to lay on the opposite side, needing to look into her eyes. A satisfied smile spreads across her lips as her eyelids get heavy. I pull the covers over us and wrap her in my arms. Once I hear her breath go slow and steady, I kiss her forehead and run my fingers over her stomach, tracing a distinct straight line, two arches with a point, and a curve.

I <3 U

Kelley

O
h my god. What have I done?

I bolt up in bed, the events of last night replaying in my head. The last thing I remember is falling asleep in Ryan’s arms.

Oh, and that was after we got married and had the most amazing sex ever.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Marrying Ryan Blake was
not
part of the plan. Our situation was meant to be short-lived . . . it was supposed to be fake. There is no way what we did last night is right. I mean the man has never even said he loves me and I went and fucking married him. I got so caught up in our pretend relationship that I couldn’t think straight. I’ve just wanted this for so long . . . the family, the marriage, the husband . . .

But not like this. Not when our entire relationship has been based on a lie. There is no way he really loves me—it must be a game to him. A challenge. He’s never even been in a relationship and now he thinks he can take on being a father
and
a husband? And what will happen to me—to our son—when Ryan realizes he made a mistake? So he threw some of his money around to decorate a nursery and he charmed my parents into liking him—big fucking deal. That doesn’t actually prove he has feelings for
me
. There is, after all, a reason he’s always kept women at a distance. Why would I be any different in the end? Forever is a long time to promise someone who was meant to be temporary.

I knew it was dangerous to get too close to Ryan Blake. I knew I would fall for him a little more every single minute of being around him, despite the fact he is not even close to being Mr. Right. And then he had to go and say all sorts of shit I wanted—and needed—to hear last night that I let myself believe it was right. But it’s not. I can’t do this.

I look over to see that Ryan is still sleeping, and immediately slide myself out of bed. I grab my clothes and dash to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I pull on my pants and shirt and stare at my reflection in the mirror.

You, Kelley Brooks, are an idiot.

I know I have to get out of here as soon as possible, so I slip out of the bathroom, attempting to hold back tears as I simultaneously try to quiet the tiny voice inside my head that’s telling me I’m just scared to admit I actually love him . . . that somehow what we have is real. Love shouldn’t be scary, though, right? It should be wonderful and magical, not some secret, rushed affair on a secluded beach in the middle of nowhere. That’s not real life, no way.

I scribble a quick message on the hotel notepad sitting on the side table, grab my things, and quickly, but quietly, leave the room. I move as fast as my swollen, pregnant legs will carry me, grabbing my cell out of my bag to call a cab as I make my way outside.

A couple of hours later the cab pulls up to Ryan’s apartment. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. I cried silent tears the whole ride home.

Home.

No matter how much I want to believe that’s what this place has been for the past nine months, I don’t belong here. I never did.

I’m hoping I have enough of a head start to grab my things and my car keys before Ryan even discovers I left. I make a beeline for the elevator and let myself into the apartment. I go to the bedroom where I throw some clothes in a bag before heading back down the hall to leave. As I make my way to the kitchen I rifle through my purse to find my keys. I finally find them and reach for the front door when I find myself face to face with the most intense, angry blue eyes I’ve ever seen.

“Care to tell me what the fuck this is about, Brooks?”