Mad enough to marry (17 page)

But looking at her sister, Elena wondered if Gabby would feel anything close to the same. Because it was obvious that irritation at Elena, not independence from her, was the primary emotion driving Gabby now.

Still, Elena managed a smile. * 'Well, hello to you too," she replied. "I haven't seen much of you the past couple of days."

Gabby went back to her books. "Mmm."

**I hope you don't think I've been neglecting you."

'*I know you're busy at work."

"Right." Guilt stabbed Elena again. She should have resolved the argument with Gabby inmiediately, instead of letting it fester. ' 'I—''

*'The boutique called. My prom dress came in. May I use the car later to go get it?"

Elena nodded. '*Sure." The clerk at the specialty shop where Gabby had found the perfect dress had

found it in the perfect size at another store in the chain. She cleared her throat. "About the prom...*'

Gabby must have heard the bad news in her voice. She looked up, her gaze narrowing. **What?"

Elena cleared her throat again. '*rmchaperoning.^' The two words rushed out as one.

Gabby's jaw dropped. * 'What? ''

Elena flushed, feehng guilty all over again. *'We're short of chaperons and..." and Elena's inattention at one of the meetings had somehow translated into her volunteering "...and we're still short. I know you asked me not to, but I can't get out of it."

Gabby's face turned red. "You promised. I only asked of you one thing when you volunteered for the senior prom committee, and you promised.''

"I know, I know. But we also promised the school administration there would be enough parents on hand that night." Elena smiled, trying to Ughten the situation. "Apparently almost every senior in school made their mom and dad take a blood oath not to attend."

"But you won't live up to your promise."

"Come on, Gabriellita, how bad could it be?" Elena understood her sister's worry that she might wet-blanket her fun, but really, how wild was Gabby likely to get? She shrugged away the nagging worry that thought brought to mind. "Most people would choose a sister as chaperon over a parent any day."

"Most people don't have you for a sister," Gabby retorted.

Elena refused to let her feelings be hurt. Gabby was

a teenager, after all, and up until recently their relationship had been amazingly conflict-free. ''I'm sorry. Gab, I really am. Fll stay out of your hair that night. I wiU.''

Gabby jumped to her feet and began slamming her open books shut. **Oh yeah, right."

Stunned by the bitterness in Gabby's sarcastic agreement, Elena stared at her. Then she swallowed. *'Is there...is there something wrong? This sounds like more than disappointment about the prom."

With jerky movements, Gabby shoved books and papers into her backpack. ** Since when have you become Sister Sensitive? Since when have you cared anything about what I feel?"

Elena's heart flinched at the blow. This was her family talking, her only family, the one who would achieve for her, for their mother, for Nana. **Gabby..." Elena's voice was so hoarse she had to start over. '*Gabby, I don't understand what's going on with you. Have you and Tyler had a fight?"

Gabby slung her backpack over her shoulder. "No! The best part of my life is Tyler. He's the only one who understands me and cares about what I want."

The only one who cares about what she wants? '*And...and what exactly is that?" Even as Elena told herself Gabby's outburst was merely senior-itis or maybe pre-coUege jitters, she wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging herself for comfort. *'What is it you want. Gabby?"

Her sister's mouth drew to a firm, stubborn line. **I

want to go to Acton, not Berkeley. I want to study art, not medicine."

If Gabby had grown another head, Elena couldn't be more shocked. **No," she said automatically. **Berkeley, pre-med, then med school, those are your dreams."

* They're your dreams for me."

**You never said—"

**rve said it dozens of times in dozens of different ways. But you haven't Ustened."

'*No." Elena shook her head. "You never said."

Gabby drew herself up to her full five feet two inches. '*Well then, I'm saying it now. As a matter of fact, I contacted Acton this week and accepted their offer."

There was an odd roaring in Elena's ears. Like a vacuum, she thought. It was the sound of emptiness. Empty dreams. Then she shook her head again, trying to shake the strange noise away.

**This is about Tyler," she heard herself saying. *'That's what this is. Tyler's going to Acton, he wants you there, and now you've let him get to you." Suddenly she was in front of her sister and she grabbed Gabby's shoulder to give it a httle shake. "Listen to me. You can't do this. You can't depend on him when the only thing you can count on is that he'll break your heart."

As Logan lifted the sledgehammer again, he caught sight of a reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall and started in surprise. Who the hell was that? A dust-

covered, rock-jawed, hungry-eyed stranger stared back.

Elena had transformed him, turned him into someone he didn't know, someone who feh barely in control of himself.

Disgusted, he threw the sledgehanmier down. Leaving the mess just as it was, he strode upstairs, not sparing a glance toward Elena and Cabby's door. Instead, he went straight for his own apartment, then straight to his bathroom. After a cold shower that improved his looks but not his hot mood, he stalked to the kitchen.

His mother was in there, but she said nothing as he jerked open the refrigerator and then downed half a beer in one long swallow. He held the sweating bottle against his forehead, then brought it back to his mouth to drain it dry.

The empty bottle clacked loudly against the coun-tertop before he dove back into the refrigerator for another. His mother spoke while he was wrestling it out of the depths of the cardboard twelve-pack.

**Is something wrong, Logan?" she asked.

He backed out with his beer and shook his head. *'Nothing that a half-dozen of these won't fix."

She cocked an eyebrow at him. *'Of course, your father thinks the world's a much more civihzed place after his seven o'clock martini, but this doesn't seem like you, Logan."

He took a swallow, then saluted his mother with the bottle. '*A point to Mrs. Chase. You've just hit

the nail on the head. Fm not myself and I very much resent it."

His mother nodded. "Ah. Elena, I presume."

He didn't bother to ask how she'd figured it out. **That woman is too much trouble."

*'You've always liked your Ufe carefree."

*'Exactly."

* *It can't be easy to have to think about what someone else needs and wants."

Logan narrowed his eyes. '*Ha ha ha. Mom. But you're off target this time. The problem is, Elena doesn't want or need anything from me."

*'You're sure."

He ignored her skeptical tone. "I'm sure. And I'm over it, too. That woman hasn't left my head for eleven years, but enough's enough." With a violent gesture, he banged the nearly full beer down on the counter.

"Where are you going?" his mother asked mildly.

He hadn't even reaUzed he was at the kitchen doorway. "To...to tell her. I'm not a hotheaded, passionate man and I refuse to let her make me feel like one!"

He wanted his uncompUcated, rational world back. He wanted his uncomplicated, rational self back. He slammed out of his apartment and was halfway to Elena's when the sound of an angry female voice floating through the hall pierced his inflamed mood. Pausing, he...

Well, hell, he couldn't help but eavesdrop.

The door to the other apartment was ajar and small

fingers were gripping the edge of it as if the owner of the hand was just pausing to get in a few last words. **rm going to make my own decisions from now on, Elena, decisions that work for me. I won't let you use my life to prove to people how untouchable, how unbeatable the O'Briens are. My becoming a doctor was your slap in the face to anyone who ever hurt you—^most importantly a slap in the face to our father for leaving us. But I won't let you use me like that anymore."

With that. Gabby whirled out the door, then whirled back. ^Tm spending the night at Mandy's." Then she slammed the door and without a glance toward Logan, headed down the stairs, her purse and backpack bumping against each tread behind her.

Logan blew out a long breath. As lousy as his mood was, only the lowest of the low would dump on Elena now. Not that she'd probably give a rat's behind that he was breaking things off between them—^more likely she'd sigh in relief—^but he imagined she was busy hunkering down right now, clutching to herself whatever she was feehng after her latest argument with Gabby.

As he turned to go back to his apartment though, he heard the sound of her door opening again. Surprised, he turned back.

She was staring at him, her face expressionless, but a little pale.

'*If you're thinking about going after Gabby," he said, *'she's already left."

Elena shook her head.

He took a step toward her, then stopped himself. She wouldn't welcome his sympathy and he didn't want how she made him feel anymore. He didn't want the intensity, the confusion, the only-temporary satisfaction that slaking his lust with her brought.

**Logan," she said. It was more of a croak, really, and her eyes were focused on his face. "Logan, I... I was coming to find you."

He frowned. "Why?"

She hesitated. Then her face crumpled and she ran toward him.

He caught her in his arms. Her tears were already hot on his neck as he carried her back into her apartment. **Shh," he said against her hair. He shut the door with his foot, then shd down against it so she was safe in the cradle of his lap and arms. "Shh. Shh."

Hell, he might as well have tried to shush the tide. Shuddering in his arms, she cried and cried. He patted her back, smoothed her hair, thought about calling his mother, but then couldn't imagine himself relinquishing his hold of her.

She wept with the same fervency with which she'd crushed his corsage beneath her toe all those years ago. It was as if she'd stored up years' worth of emotions and now she had to release them. She was still sobbing, her eyes overflowing when she looked up at him and tried to talk. "Gabby—^you—" Her breath caught, rough and thick in her throat.

He pushed her hair away from her hot forehead. "Tell me later," he said softly, ttien started to move

her so he could find them both a more comfortable place to sit.

Her arms clutched at him. *'No."

**Okay, okay." He regathered her against him and let her weep some more, until finally she subsided into shuddering breaths punctuated here and there by a hiccup.

He continued to hold her though, until he felt her stir. His arms loosened and she restlessly wiggled her behind against him. Familiar—^if untimely—^lust caused blood to rush toward his lap. He eased her to the floor beside him to save them both embarrassment.

She didn't protest, just instantly drew her knees up to her chest and buried her face against them, wrapping her arms around her legs. It was a self-contained, self-comforting, Elena-back-to-Elena pose.

Resigned, Logan let out the air he didn't realize he'd been holding. Despite her brief storm of emotion, he doubted anything had really changed. Elena wouldn't share herself with him and he in turn would only grow more frustrated with her.

Better to get out now, he told himself again, when there was httle damage done.

**Will you be fine now?" he asked. Of course she would be. She was always fine. Or she always would say so, anyway.

She lifted her head and looked at him. "No," she said, then wiped her nose with the back of her hand like a child. "No, I'm not fine." A fresh wave of tears overflowed her eyes to run down her face.

*'Elena." Logan's heart stilled in his chest. "Elena, what is it?"

"Y-you." Her voice caught in another hard sob. *'I n-need y-you."

He stared at her, his heart restarting, then starting to race. Her eyelashes were spiked, her nose was red, her cheeks and forehead were splotchy from crying. Just as his accelerating heart seemed to crest a hill and take a roller-coaster dive, he felt the strangest urge to laugh. For all her incredible beauty, Elena wasn't a pretty crier.

It made her all at once more real, more dear...

More his.

He buried that thought as she mutely held out her arms toward him. His heart zipped around a curve then cUmbed as he once more lifted her onto his lap.

"You've been working too hard," he murmured to her. "You need to sleep more, eat more often." He suddenly remembered the day when she'd arrived at the Victorian dizzy with exhaustion. A rush of tenderness swept through him and he was excruciatingly aware of how small she was, of how much energy and strength usually poured out of such a delicate body.

Elena said something against his shirt.

He cuddled her close. "What, honey? I didn't hear."

"Gabby's m-mad."

"I know." He rested his cheek on top of Elena's head. "A sister spat. I know one when I see one.

Brothers bicker, sisters spat. Nothing to worry about."

She was shaking her head. Then she drew away from his chest to look at him. Using both hands, she swiped at her wet face. '*I d-don't have a heart." Her voice still broke with emotion. *'She s-said I don't have a heart."

**0h, Elena." The hurt on her face slayed him, it did, because he'd been thinking nearly the very same thing when he stomped up the stairs not long ago.

'*Am I really so cold?"

**No." She was careful, he thought. Gabby had seen that too. Untouchable. Unbeatable. That's what Elena wanted everyone to think. *'No, you're not cold at all."

Elena closed her eyes. 'I've messed things up with Gabby. I've messed things up with you." Those wet, heavy-looking lashes Ufted and her lower Up trembled. *T'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Oh, hell. She was trouble. But the stranger she turned him into couldn't let that trouble go.

Chapter Twelve

Jlllena couldn't remember the last time she'd let herself cry. It was a sure thing that she'd never before let herself cry in a man's arms.