Made to Love (16 page)

Nikki wasn’t sure how she knew something was off. Everything seemed as it should. She was wrapped around a beautiful woman who was showing her just how good the other half was. Their bodies moved together in an unspoken rhythm that felt as good as anything had in a long time. She couldn’t see Mason’s face or even hear the thoughts in her head. Instead, she sensed Mason holding back. She wasn’t sure if it was the slight stiffness in her body or the fact that she hadn’t really kissed her since that night. Maybe she was reading too much into it. It was her nature, after all, to be suspicious of everyone and everything. Nikki tried to shake it off. Mason moved slowly when it came to dating. She sensed a wariness about her, a hold on the gentle manner of earlier times, when a man took time to woo a woman and didn’t just hop into bed at the first chance that arose. Mason was a gentleman in that regard. Everything she had done to win Nikki over showed the respect she had for women. Nikki buried her face in Mason’s neck and smiled. She hadn’t been courted in a long
time, and Nikki realized she enjoyed the feeling. It was something she’d seen her father do throughout he and her mother’s marriage. At the time, it seemed meaningless to her, but now, as the recipient of the attention, it felt wonderful.

Mason felt Nikki’s arms tighten around her
neck, and she couldn’t help smiling. No matter where her mind was, Nikki had the ability to draw her back in without even trying. She closed her eyes and tried to just be in the moment, but every time she did, her mind raced away, and she remembered another time she held a woman this close. It felt like a lifetime ago to Mason, but her body hadn’t forgotten the emotions that she evoked. Again, Mason forced herself to focus on just the woman in her arms, and it worked for a while. When the song ended, she held Nikki a beat longer. She knew letting her go meant breaking the connection she yearned for. She gestured with her head toward the table and pulled Nikki off the dance floor. She sipped her mostly-full drink then leaned toward Nikki. “Are you having fun?”

“Mmhmm. You?”

Mason hesitated then nodded affirmatively. “Anywhere with you is fun.”

If Nikki noticed her delay, she didn’t show it. “Let’s move this date to someplace quieter.”

“Okay.” Mason hid her surprise. They hadn’t been there more than forty-five minutes, but Nikki was ready to leave. Maybe she wasn’t having a good time after all. Mason’s old feelings of self-doubt started to kick in. Despite all her efforts, it was clear she wasn’t enough to keep Nikki satisfied. When they reached the quietness of the car, she shot Nikki a forlorn smile. “I’m sorry. This doesn’t compare at all to the dates you are used to.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Nikki put her seatbelt on and faced forward. “It’s a thousand times better. All of those women had gobs of money that they could throw around on me. They gave me everything I could possibly want. But they never gave me the thing I needed - love. Mason, you are showing me that the little things mean so much more than fancy jewelry or exotic trips, because you care. That’s something I’ve never had before
, and it feels good.”

Mason let Nikki’s words sink in as she drove away from the club. She did care or she wouldn’t be here. She pulled Nikki’s hand into hers and kissed the top of it before she let them rest on her thigh. “Tell me about your first love.”

“Oh, wow, I hadn’t thought about that in ages.” Nikki leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes. “It was my freshman year in high school. My mom had this idea that we needed to fit in. She said I had to pick an activity to participate in. She was tired of me hanging out with the hoods, skipping class and smoking all the time. I picked the stupidest thing I could. I figured if I hated it and made mom miserable in the process, she would let me quit. I joined the chess team.”

Mason snorted and was rewarded with a pinch on her thigh.

“I was actually pretty good, once I gave it a fair chance. Jennifer Nelson. That was my first love. She was captain of the chess team and so nerdy it hurts to even think about it. I guess I have a soft spot for girls in glasses. For some reason, she looked past my bullshit exterior and made it her mission to teach me to play. Somewhere between the Ruy Lopez and the Berlin Defense, I fell hard for her.”

“Let me guess
, you were her star pupil, and she set up tons of private lessons for you.”

Nikki laughed heartily. “I wish. No, I’m afraid the love affair was entirely one-sided. She only had eyes for the band geeks. Last I heard, she was married to a sax player, raising four kids. No, my first love wasn’t romantic or even memorable, except to me.” 

“Isn’t that all that matters?”

“I suppose. What about you?”

Mason turned onto the small two-lane road that led back to the ranch. “I think I was still sucking on a pacey when I had my first crush.”

“You would. You’re like a cradle heart-breaker or something. How can I ever live up to the string of women you’ve been with?”

Mason could tell Nikki was teasing, but she felt the need to clarify that she hadn’t been with many women at all in her life. “There haven’t been as many as you think.”

Nikki stared at Mason’s profile in the dim glow of the car. “So, it’s not 104?”

“Ha.” Mason’s laughter filled the car. Try one of those digits.”

“Zero?”

“A bit more than that. I’ve had four relationships. The first crush, which didn’t pan out, was on a much older woman. I was five. She was six. I remember tearing through the neighborhood chasing after her. She had long brown hair and blue eyes and a mischievous streak in her that made for some interesting shenanigans. They moved away shortly after we moved into the house, and I never saw her again.”

“Are you counting that in your four?” Nikki’s teasing tone hid the fact that she was actually worried about having to say how many woman she’d been with. It was definitely in the double
digits, and if she counted one-night stands, it was way more than four. “Please tell me you’re not.”

“No, I’m not. My first real girlfriend was in college. She was the daughter of one of my dad’s buddies at the plant. Stacy Williams. Dad’s company had this huge family picnic every summer for all the employees. Stacy and I had grown up together, but something changed the summer I turned nineteen. I stopped wanting to hang out with her as friends. I wanted more. She said she felt the same way, but couldn’t live out like I was. We were together for three years and no one outside of us knew. Between the breakup with her and issues with my mom, I had to get the hell out of dodge.”

“I can’t imagine being in the closet, even as a kid. I would go nuts. Did you ever see her again?”

Mason pulled up to the front of the bunkhouse and switched the engine off. “I found her on Facebook a while back. She was married. Been with the same woman for eleven years. We chatted a bit. She did thank me for giving her the courage to finally come out.”

Nikki got out and shut her door. “Too bad she didn’t do that with you. You might still be together.”

“Nah, it wouldn’t have lasted much longer anyway. We were too much alike. We would have driven each other crazy
. Besides, I would never have moved here and never met you, so it worked out.”

Nikki smiled and started for the porch. “You coming in?”

Mason hesitated.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to attack you like last time.”

Mason smiled bashfully. Nikki read her mind. “I just figured it was getting a little late. You are probably tired and ready to be done with me.”

Nikki sauntered back down the steps and stopped when she was inches from Mason. “I’m not sure what gave you the impression that I wasn’t enjoying your company, but I hope…” Nikki tilted her head and kissed Mason longingly. “…this changes your mind.”

Mason touched her lips and shuddered to her toes. “It certainly doesn’t hurt.”

“Just for a bit. I won’t bite…hard.” Nikki slipped her hand into Mason’s palm and coaxed her up the steps. “I can show you my chess skills.”

Mason laughed out loud. “I can show you my lack of skills.” She never took Nikki for a chess player. She wished she would have paid more attention when her grandfather had tried to teach her all those years ago. “I can remember one move. The horse thingy.”

“The knight.” Nikki winked at Mason and flipped on a light in the kitchen. “I’ve got a bottle of Merlot I stole from the house. Want to stay for a drink?”

“No, thank you. I think I’d prefer to enjoy your company without it.”

Nikki put the bottle back on the rack and grabbed two waters from the fridge. “Let’s sit outside then.” She led Mason down the hallway and through her bedroom.

Mason glanced at the bed awkwardly. She didn’t think Nikki was suggesting anything by bringing her to her room, but Mason had to admit, she was a little nervous about the idea. She exhaled in relief when Nikki opened the door and led them out onto the back porch. She took one of two Adirondacks and stared up at the sky. “I forget how beautiful it is out here.”

“It’s very romantic.” Nikki handed Mason a water then sat down beside her. “It’s nothing like this in the city. Now, aboard a yacht, somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea
, reminds me a lot of this sky.”

“What is it like?”

“You can see the stars in every direction; ones you didn’t even know existed.”

“No, what’s it like living like the other half? I wouldn’t know any
other way except living art show to art show.”

Nikki sighed loudly and stared off into the distance. “This may sound odd, but it’s lonely. Don’t get me wrong, the perks are amazing. Fancy clothes, food that most people only dream about, exotic trips to places I can’t even pronounce. That part is great. But at the end of the day, you are surrounded by people who don’t even know you exist. There are no real connections. No true feelings. It’s all a show. A way to advertise your status. Even with a woman beside me, I felt so alone sometimes.”

“Seems so wonderful, I’m surprised more people don’t sign up for it.”

“Yeah, you sound totally convinced. Sometimes, I barely remember how I got there in the first place. Other times, it seems it happened just
yesterday, and it’s still so vivid. Sophia was a new divorcee with a grudge the size of Texas and a settlement just as big. Her husband cheated on her the entire time they were together. She stayed for a while, then some lawyer got a hold of her, and she realized she could keep living the lifestyle she wanted and not have to be married to do it. I met her right after the divorce. She was bitter and angry and looking to even the score. I didn’t know that at the time. I was nineteen and all I saw was this older woman wining and dining me. She’d show up in all the right places with me on her arm, just to make sure her ex either saw us or his friends did. I was her revenge. By the time I figured it out, I was in with their kind. The introductions had been made, and my ticket was bought. I could go anywhere and get anyone I wanted. I was Nikki Castellanos. Sophia and I parted amicably. She went back to men, and I worked my way through the women whom I’d met along the way. It’s funny looking back on it. Even with all the glitz and glamour, it’s no way to live. I’m glad I’m out of it. I forgot how nice it is to be able to just grab a burger or sit on a porch with someone you really like and count stars.”

Mason smiled in the dark. “It is beautiful out here, and I don’t mean just the stars.”

“Mm…” Nikki slipped her fingers through Mason’s. “You always know the right thing to say.”

“Since my only means of winning you over is words, I have to make sure I spin some good ones.” Mason picked at her jeans, contemplating asking the question that rolled around in her head. She finally decided to bite the bullet. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Only if I am allowed to not answer it.”

“That’s fair.”

“Then go ahead.”

“Why me?”

Nikki snorted loudly. “That’s an odd question. What made you ask that?”

“I don’t know. I’m not rich or beautiful. I have nothing but myself to offer. That’s not exactly what you’re used to.”

“Honey, didn’t you hear me when I said that I liked this? That it was nice to be reminded what simple was like or what it felt like to be liked just for me. This past month has made me realize that all the years I sold myself to those women and that lifestyle, I wasn’t me. I forgot the person my parents raised me to be. Honestly, you’re exactly the type of woman I would go after.”

Mason’s chest swelled. “It was my sweet dance moves, wasn’t it?”

“Um, yes, that was it completely.” Nikki buried a yawn behind her hand.

“I saw that.” Mason glanced at Nikki and rubbed her thumb over her palm. “I think I should take off and let you rest.”

“I am not normally this tired. I think it’s the country air. No wonder you all look so refreshed. You go to bed before ten.” She let Mason pull her out of the chair and into her arms. She rested her head on Mason’s chest and listened to the gentle rhythm of her heartbeat. Something about the feel of Mason’s strong arms around her made her feel at home and warmed her soul. “This feels nice.”

Mason nodded against the top of her head.

“Thank you for not sleeping with me that first night. It would have ruined this.” Nikki looked up and searched Mason’s face. She wasn’t classically beautiful, at least to the standards that Nikki was used to. But the strength and kindness in Mason’s face drew her in and made her heart skip a beat. She stood on her tip-toes and kissed Mason’s mouth softly. “I would have hated to miss this part of you.”