Madness or Purpose (2 page)

Gavin covers my arm with a large pressure bandage and moves to inspecting my head wound. As I bend my head down to give him a better look, I see I had gone to sleep in my panties and a tank top. “Gavin, why didn’t you tell me I was missing half my clothes?

You pervert!” “Grow up, I’ve been your best friend since we were 9, and you and I have played doctor. Besides, I figured your head wound and bloody gash were more important than modesty. It’s not like you have any reason to be ashamed though.” With that my face turned beet red and I pulled a blanket over my lap.

“I’d punch you, but I hurt too much to move!” I glare at him as he smirks and applies pressure to my head while wiggling his eyebrows.

After a moment, he says, “great news, your head wound is only superficial, no stitches!” “Since when did you get your medical degree?” I snap at him. “Someone needs her Midol”

he snaps back. “Seriously, I have a massive headache and I feel like I’ve been ran over by a truck and you are going to make jokes? I don’t even know how I got in the closet!” “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I was just well, being me, sorry,”

Gavin’s face looks apologetic. “Are you done playing doctor? I want to sleep, and I need clothes” I remarked. “So, am I forgiven?” he asks. “Of course you are why you would ask you moron? Now, are you done?”

“Yes, but you are not going to sleep now, you might have a concussion, and we need to have your arm stitched up I might have seen a bone.”

He throws me over his shoulder and grabs his keys off the table as we head for the door. I start hitting his back and yelling. “Stop you big idiot, what are you doing? I am half naked and you need a shirt and shoes!” “Yeah, I’m sorry about that ZZ.” He flips me onto my feet and I fall down flat on my ass. “Ouch! Holy hell! Why would you do that you moron?” “Oops again” he snickers. “Are you still drunk?”He grins sheepishly. “I might be a bit tipsy still.” “Since you just bruised my ass you have to get my clothes and purse” I order. “Fair, I guess. I’ll be right back!” he responds.

Gavin disappears into my room and then darts back into the living room. By the time I manage to use a chair to get to my feet he is standing in front of me in a t-shirt, jeans, and a zip up hoodie. “Here” he says thrusting some sweats and a hoodie of my own at me. I sit down in the chair slowly and pull my clothes on wincing as the cloth scratches my fresh wounds. I go to slip my feet into a nearby pair of skater shoes when I remember I am only wear one sock and it is all wet. Oh well, I’m a mess as it is who cares! “Oh, I almost forgot!” Gavin exclaims. He darts back into the living room and then into the kitchen where he starts banging around again and finally re-appears with two thermoses of our unfinished coffee. “Do you think you can limp to my car?” “Nope, you better carry me.” “If you carry the coffee” Gavin says. “It’s a deal!” Then he scoops me up bridal style and heads for the door.

I probably should tell all 3 of him that there are 3 of him now. My eyes keep drooping closed and I have to fight to keep from spilling the coffee. “Are you still with me ZZ? Hello? Wake up!” he yells trying to get my attention. “Yeah, yeah I hear you. I have a headache remember?” I groan into his shoulder. “And it’s like 4:30 in the morning you ass! You’ll wake people up yelling like that.” “I’m just worried about you, you don’t look so good, and you just poured coffee all down the front of me.” “Oh shit! I’m sorry, you ok?” “I’ll be fine just don’t close your eyes and can you stand here for a second while I open the door of the truck?” My legs are like jelly and I immediately start to slide down to the concrete as he lets me go. “I guess not” he mumbles taking the mugs from me and placing them on the roof of the truck. He opens the door with one arm and steadies me with the other. Gavin lifts me into the passenger seat and buckles me in. I hear him cuss as he tears out of the parking lot and the cups slide off the roof. The light fades in and out as I pass out.

I wake up to Gavin yelling my name in a panicked tone, but I can’t seem to pull out of the fog until he slaps me across the face. “You arrogant ass” I mumble at him though I am sure it sounded more like u airgunt ss. His panicked face is quickly taken over by his trademark grin. “You scared me ZZ. I don’t like it when you do that. You’re going to make me go gray early and have a heart attack and all that” he begins to lecture me. “Ok, ok I’m sorry. But I couldn’t help it.

I’m just so exhausted” I groan as I slump against the seat and my head lulls to the side. “Oh shit! Hold on ZZ we’re here I’ll get you some help.”

I can hear him yelling at people in the emergency room but everyone seems to ignore him. He rushes to the front desk of the ER and the receptionist thrusts a clipboard at him while she chats with her friend on the phone. I feel Gavin shift my weight to one arm and hear a phone slam down. “Hey” the nurse screeches. “I was on a call.” “I’m sorry, but you are working in a fucking EMERGENCY ROOM and we are experiencing a bit of an EMERGENCY here!” Gavin is glaring at her even though I am barely conscious I can feel it in the tensing of his chest muscles and the rhythm of his breathing. “A moment later the whiney nurse’s voice can be heard over the intercom. “Dr. Midenger to the entrance. Dr. Midenger to the entrance.” I hear Gavin grunt, “that’s better” and then everything fades to black again.

I wake to fuzzy people buzzing around and someone calling my name over and over in a panicked fashion. “ZZ! ZZ! Wake up now! You promised you wouldn’t scare me! ZZ!”

“What is her name?” “Zoe Zeta Jones.” “And you are sure she did not harm herself?” “No she did not! She was sleep walking and had an accident” Gavin was pissed at this doctor. “I didn’t try to kill myself” I whisper. “Finally, you’re awake!” Gavin exclaims. The doctor turns to me and nods. “Your arm is just about fixed up, and your head seems fine. We are going to run a few test just to be sure your bruised head is just that a bruise and mild concussion.” “Tests, bleck” I complain. “Seriously, Zoe just be quiet and let them fix you up and make sure you are ok. I want to go home and sleep sometime today!”Gavin scolds. “Ok. Fine, for you I will behave.”

I let the doctors proceed without complaining or putting up a fight. I don’t tell them that there are 3 Gavins when there should be only one, but blurry vision isn’t really a new symptom for me. I’ve had it happen occasionally and it usually is after sleep walking and vivid nightmares I always tell Gavin I can’t remember. I think he suspects I have been lying, but he won’t confront me about it. He figures I’ll tell him when I am ready. I should probably tell him. He is my best friend and greatest ally, but if you saw what I do in my head you would think twice before even telling someone like Gavin. I can’t afford to lose him and somehow I am afraid if he knows then he will have me committed to the kind of facility you never come out of.

After all of l the tests are done and we are leaving the doctor stops the wheel chair (the ones they force you to use on the way out) and to say he has forgotten one thing. I am too slow to turn around and by then he has stabbed me in the right arm with a giant needle and quickly bandaged it. “There, that dose of morphine should give you a jump start on the pain.” I quickly begin to feel a bit woozy and my head starts to get all foggy. The doctor hands Gavin a bottle of pills and mumbles some instructions. Well he didn’t mumble but, the drugs made everything feel sort of far away and hazy like a dream. I don’t remember driving home or Gavin carrying back up three flights of stairs.

I definitely don’t remember him taking off my shoes and hoodie and curling up with me on the futon.

The only I think I might remember is a bright golden light surrounding Gavin and him placing his hands on me. You know, like he put his finger tips to my bruised head and my sliced up arm. He didn’t say a word. Tears ran down his cheeks, not like me the few times I’ve blubbered like a little child, but a mixture of happiness and fear. The silent type of tears that are rarely shared, and shed only because of the deepest love. That morphine really must have really messed with my mind.

I don’t know what time it is when I wake up but I wake up because Relic has sufficiently covered my face in slobber and is bumping her food bowl into my arm, my sliced open arm. I groan and try to swat her away. Surprisingly, my arm doesn’t hurt at all. I would swear the morphine should have worn off by now, but maybe it’s just a coincidence. She just whimpers louder. The throbbing in my head has come back and I need those drugs the doctor had given Gavin. Wait, why does my head hurt and not my arm? I have no idea where the drugs are, but it doesn’t matter because I am pinned to Gavin’s chest by his arms. I could stay here forever if only it were real. I really don’t want to move, I don’t want him to move. It’s like a cruel joke that the cosmos play on me. Here lay in his arms, feel his warmth, his strength, but wham! You must suffer excruciating pain in your head.

I am forced to give into the pain and sacrifice a perfect moment.

“Gavin, wake up.

Gavin, fire! Wake up! Free beer! Strippers! Aliens are coming! Save me! Help!

Help! RAPE!” I yell trying to wake him. He starts awake at the word rape.

“Finally, you’re up.” “Are you ok” he asks groggily. “Well, no one is raping me, but Relic looks hungry and my head is throbbing and you have me pinned down and I don’t know where the drugs are the doctor gave you” I say as fast and quietly as possible because my yelling episode only made my headache worse.

Gavin looks down at his arms and grins. “Oops. Sorry, I was just scared and needed to be sure you were close by.” “Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night buddy” I grin at him for the first time since yesterday, I think. I don’t mind his arms around me they make me feel safe and loved. His morning erection makes me feel other things but I don’t mention it. It embarrasses him and well, it makes me sad to think that it’s merely sleep that causes that sort of reaction when it comes to me. What time is it I wonder? Looking at the clock it reads 12:30pm.

Gavin lets me go and scoots off the futon. “I’ll feed her and get your meds. Then I’ll take her out and bring us back some lunch. You have anything special you want?” “Pizza or Chinese” I announce excitedly. “You choose Gav. I’ll figure out a movie to watch while you’re gone.” “Ok, but maybe you should bath before I get back you’re hair is a mess and you smell like well, you stink!” Gavin smirks at his comment. “Sure, why not, but you don’t smell like roses either!” I counter and he shakes his head at me. We both know he showered early this morning before he curled up with me and it has been over a day since I did. I lift my arm and take a whiff. Oh my, he was right. I hate that! I slowly make my way to the bathroom and hear Relic and Gavin leave the apartment.

I flick the light on as I enter the bathroom and then the switch for the vanity lights. Yuck! I am a mess. My shoulder blade length ink black hair is greasy and sticking up in a knotted mess. I grab my brush in an attempt to work out the knots before I get into the shower, but my head is just too tender to handle the tugging necessary to manage my chaotic hair. I give up and walk over to the shower. I definitely broke a tile or two with my head this morning and it will take a trip to the hardware store and a day of reading how to books and Gavin cussing at tools to fix this mess. God knows our landlord would never fix this. Well, he would say that maintenance would get right on it, but it would be months before anyone would even have begun to evaluate the damage. We had fixed quite a few leaking faucets and such since we moved in a year ago.

I move back to the mirror as the water starts to heat up. I slide off my sweats and check the bruises all over my legs and the vast array of scrapes and small cuts. Gavin was probably right earlier when he said I had nothing to be ashamed of half naked. I mean I’m 5’4 with ink black sleek hair, porcelain skin; nice curves in all the right places, well toned legs and arms, but, my eyes make me a complete freak! I have one silver eye and one sapphire blue one. The doctors came up with some weird explanation when I was a kid because I was born that way.

The really freaky part is they change color. For instance when I was a kid my right eye was sapphire and my left was silver. The day after I found my father murdered in his recliner (I’m talking bullet through his head murdered) they switched color. It happened right in front of Gavin.

We were eighteen and he had just dropped me off at home after a party. When I went inside the door was unlocked, but for my father to forget to the door wasn’t abnormal. However the pitch black and the metallic smell of blood was definitely not the norm. I found my father sleeping in his chair, or so I thought. I called his name and apologized for being out so late, but I received no answer. So I tapped his shoulder, nothing. Then I shook him, but as his head lulled to the side and I realized his eyes were wide open starring at me and there was a hole crusted in blood right between his eyes. I bolted from the house and managed to flag Gavin down before he made it to the end of the street. We called 911 from his cell phone and that’s when we saw the smoke coming from the back of the house!

In mere seconds flames shot up into the cold October sky and we explained to the dispatcher that the house was also on fire. Gavin and I swore we saw two figures dart through the back yard and over the back fence which lead to the alley way.

Like I was struck by electricity I shot off towards the house and cleared the front chain link fence without breaking stride. I rounded the house and saw my goal. I sprinted over and lifted the latch on the gate snapping the lead on Relic’s collar I quickly lead her around to the front of the house just as the dry brown grass began to burst into flames licking our heels. Gavin shook his head at me and reached his arms out to pull me into his chest. Gavin was always doing that, pulling me in close and trying to protect me from the harsh realities that had become my life. He should have known to trust me though; I wouldn’t run into a burning house with a murdered man in recliner even if he was my father. Someone set that fire and put that bullet in his head for a reason, maybe the house was booby trapped! At that point his parents pretty much adopted me and made us both finish our senior year. The cops never did figure out who started the fire and only Gavin and his parents believed me about the murder.