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Authors: Catherine Bateson

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BOOK: Magenta McPhee
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Dear Greenman (that was Polly's idea, not mine!)
Wow! I hadn't expected a reply so soon. Or such a long email. I mean most guys think that three lines is a lot of effort. I'll try to answer your questions and then I'll throw some of mine into the ring, shall I?
My son is fourteen. It's a difficult age. He's a great kid who's had to deal with a lot of stuff and I'm very proud of him. He's not a standard-issue kind of boy. He's pretty quiet, maybe even a bit nerdy, but he's been a fabulous support for me over the years. He's got a lot of interests including computer games and he reads a lot. He could do with a male mentor, though. I'm afraid my ex isn't very helpful in that regard as he doesn't see Cal very often.
I do a few things. I'm involved in some community groups and help out a friend who has a café from time to time. I've been basically in recovery from some unpleasant relationship issues for a while. But I can feel myself becoming whole again. Didn't someone once say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger?
I'm thinking of studying to become a masseuse. I like the idea of earning money doing something that heals others.
I do envy your vegie garden. Unfortunately, the house we're renting has this really vertical kind of garden. I think you could terrace it or something, but not when you're renting.
And how wonderful to go camping with your daughter. See, I think that's the kind of thing Cal needs – just to give him some other outlets. He needs to really witness nature, not just the inside of his bedroom. But camping's not the kind of thing I'd feel confident doing by myself. Being a single woman cuts off a lot of things that I'd normally love doing.
How about you? Do you love travelling? What kind of music do you listen to? Are you into meditation?
Let's keep talking,
Lianna
Then the second email said:
Dear Greenman,
Sorry, just realised how much I'd written. I hope you don't find it boring. It's so easy to run on in an email, isn't it? You just sit down in front of the keyboard and finding yourself saying things you probably wouldn't say in person. I'd be intimidated. Or think they sounded weird. Hope you don't mind these long emails. I'll try to keep them shorter in future.
Lianna

I printed them out and took them to school. We were in way over our heads, I thought.

Polly disagreed. ‘She sounds okay,' she said, ‘a bit whacky, but not totally off the planet.'

‘She talks about healing too much, and issues,' I said.

‘Yeah, but she's opening up. We'd better make your dad open up, too.'

‘What?'

‘You know, show his vulnerable side.'

‘Which is?'

‘I dunno. It's too early to say he's unemployed, isn't it?'

‘Dad always says self-employed when he applies for a job.' Polly was the only person I could tell this kind of stuff to.

‘Yeah, good thinking. Do you want me to, you know, try casting a get-a-job spell for him?'

I practically swivelled my head so I could stare Polly right in the face. She stared back, unflinchingly. ‘You reckon you can do that?'

‘I just need a bit of his hair.'

‘A bit of his hair?'

‘To do the spell.'

‘Okay, well, I'll see what I can do. I guess.'

‘They're working. I tell you, Mags, they're working. Last night I cast a finding spell and Jane found this locket she hasn't been able to find for the past year. She was overjoyed.'

‘So did you tell her?'

‘That I'm a witch? Are you crazy? Of course not. She'd go bonkers. Jane's not into the occult. Her deepest mystery is puff pastry.'

‘Surely Marcus would understand?'

‘Marcus is so self-obsessed that he only understands his own ego,' Polly said. ‘I tell you, he'd better be the genius Jane thinks he is or she's in for a disappointed old age.'

‘Are things okay?' I asked hesitantly. Polly could be sharp with her family, but this sounded bitter.

‘Yeah, fine. Witches shouldn't be thanked for their work, not unless someone approaches them directly. I'm still in the apprentice stage, of course, so no one's
likely to approach me. Except you. And I know you'll thank me, Magenta.'

‘Yeah, well of course. If Dad gets a job, I'll credit you. Absolutely.'

‘Thanks, Magenta. Best friends for life?'

‘Best friends for life,' I said, and we pinky-hugged.

‘We'd better get that email written then,' Polly said, pulling away and settling her notebook on her knee in a business-like manner.

That took the rest of the lunch. I'd thought writing fantasy was hard, but that was just making stuff up. Writing Dad's emails was much more difficult. It had to really sound like him. But a different kind of him. The him that this Lianna might really like.

‘Sort of gentle but manly, supportive but not demanding, interesting but interested,' Polly said, ‘the perfect listener, but someone who's not afraid to speak up as well.'

‘How do you know this kind of stuff?'

‘Jane reads magazines and romances. She says they help stop her from cooking in her dreams. But I reckon it's because Marcus is so removed. From us anyway. He's there for Jeremy. Jeremy only needs to fart and he's got Marcus's complete attention. Jane and I could be on fire and he'd put the finishing touches to whatever he was working on before he'd pick up the bucket of water.'

‘Did you guys have a fight?'

‘Not a fight, exactly. The other person has to be around to have a fight. I'm just not talking to him. Can we get on with the email?'

‘Okay, let's work on one aspect at a time. Let's start with answering her questions.'

I was proud of the return email. We kept it reasonably short – to fit in with Spooky's expectations. We cut out an
awesome
that crept in and said
grand
instead.
Grand
sounded more grown up. And Polly made me cut most of my questions about Cal. I must admit I was quite intrigued by him. Although my passion for Richard is undying, I could do with some practice in boy/girl stuff.

‘I'll type it up and send it tonight,' I said. ‘I hope she takes her time in replying to this one. Doesn't she know you shouldn't be too eager? I just don't want to spend all my lunchtimes writing emails from my dad. It's hard work, Polly.'

‘I know. Eventually, of course, they'll have to meet. But wait until they get to know each other better.'

‘You mean wait until she gets to know what we think he's like with other adults and we get to know her better.'

‘That sounds like Maths,' Polly said, ‘but I think you're probably right.'

‘All my creative energy is going into this,' I said. ‘I'll
probably be too exhausted to write the Chronicles tonight and have to do homework instead.'

‘What about my spells?'

‘They're just little poems, Polly, not like a whole big book.'

‘Just as hard to write. You have to rhyme.'

I took a look at her and decided not to argue. When Polly gets upset she gets little white bits near her mouth, as though she's holding it too tightly or maybe biting from the inside. When I see that look, I try to stop. Polly can be upset for days and I really needed her to help with the emails.

I sent Dad's latest off that evening and didn't dare look at his email before I finally got to sleep after completing the week's Maths work. I had a horrible feeling that Spooky might already have written him back. Well, I was going to save her from herself. I was going to pretend she wasn't as eager as she seemed to be.

I held off looking until Saturday morning when Trib and Mum went out wedding shopping. They don't really call it wedding shopping. That's what I call it. What they do is get in the car and drive to some café where Mum orders a latte and Trib has a macchiato. Mum reads the café magazines while Trib looks over the paper. Then, eventually, Mum comes up with a different wedding idea – based on something she's seen. And they discuss it through another coffee. I went with them once and
it was so boring. Honestly, the ideas my mum can get from a piece of orange and almond cake.

‘We could have a kind of spring theme,' she said, ‘you know, everything yellow and cream.'

‘Yes, I see what you mean.' Trib had ordered lemon cheesecake.

‘You could have chocolate,' I said, hoeing into a slice of rich mud cake, ‘you know, you could both wear dark brown and the wedding cake could be chocolate. A bit like this.' I held up a piece to show them, but unfortunately it broke and smudged the clean white tablecloth. Mum sighed and Trib looked away. So I knew it wasn't going to be a chocolate wedding.

I took the opportunity to ring Polly and open Dad's email.

‘She's replied,' I said.

‘Of course she has, it's been two days, Mags. Didn't you check it yesterday?'

‘Nuh. Or the day before. I thought I'd give her a chance to slow down.'

‘What does she say?'

‘Well, she wants to know what Max is short for and then there's a lot of stuff about him being understanding because he's obviously gone through rough times. It's all pretty boring. This is getting harder and harder.'

‘Oh stop whingeing,' Polly said sharply, ‘you should
be grateful your dad is actually talking to someone. More than what's going on here.'

‘But he isn't,' I said, ‘my dad isn't – I am. And it's taking up a lot of my time.'

‘At least it's short term. I reckon a couple more emails and we can ask her to meet him.'

‘Right.' On the one hand this was good as I could stop faking it. On the other hand, I'd have to admit to Dad I had been pretending to be him to some strange woman who called herself Spookylianna. I wasn't sure that Dad would be thrilled about being Greenman, either.

It took me hours and several rounds of toast with Nutella to write Dad's email back. When I'd finished I couldn't bear to look at the Chronicles. On the plus side, Maths looked relatively easy. You didn't have to worry about anyone's feelings. The numbers worked or they didn't. It was that simple.

‘We've got it!' Mum rushed through the door as I'd finished working out the circumferences, ‘we're going to have a garden party.'

‘A garden party? Oh, you mean a garden-party wedding?'

‘Yes,' Trib beamed, ‘we had a vision.'

‘A vision?' It was all a little sudden after circumferences.

‘Hats,' Mum said, ‘hats and ribbon sandwiches on a trestle table covered with a white cloth. A damask white
cloth, not a sheet, Trib. A vase of pink roses tumbling down in the centre, trailing around a tiered cake plate covered in cupcakes. I'll wear a floaty skirt and top – nothing too formal. Trib can wear jeans and some kind of pale shirt.'

‘A metro shirt,' Trib said, ‘I'll be metroshirted.'

‘Are you sure you want to wear a metro shirt?' I asked him. Trib's idea of dressing up was to put on a different cartoon t-shirt, usually featuring some complicated computer-nerd joke.

‘For a change,' Trib winked, ‘anyway, to marry your mum, of course.'

‘Sounding good,' I said. ‘What about me?'

‘Floaty,' Mum said, ‘floaty and coordinated with us, of course.'

‘Have we got a date on this?' I asked. ‘Because you might want to fix up the backyard.'

‘Spring,' Mum said, ‘late spring or early summer. We want to be sure of fine weather. But we'll have a bad weather contingency plan, of course. A marquee or something. We'll set a date, won't we, Trib? Then we can do the invitations.'

‘We'll do it whenever you like, baby,' Trib said.

I raised my eyebrows. I could not get used to the way Trib called Mum baby. She was a self-declared feminist. It was dangerous territory. Or it should have been. Mum just nestled up to him and smiled. ‘Oh, please,' I said,
‘she's old enough to be my mother!' They ignored me.

Was it going to be like this when Spooky and Dad got together? I'd be surrounded by kissing grown-ups. Gross. This wasn't supposed to happen. By the time kids are my age adults should be over the kissing in public thing. They can do it privately but publicly it should just be a quick kiss and on with the business, nothing lingering. Now, if it was Richard and me that would be different. As soon as I started to think about that my mind shut down like Mum's old laptop used to do when it over-heated.

I stayed out of their way for most of the weekend. I wrote the Chronicles.

Holly and Eclipse

‘And now,' the Abbot said, patting his mouth with his napkin, ‘I invite the newly wedded couple to rise from their seats and dance as man and wife.'

But before Lady Tamsin and Lord Treece could begin their stately dance, there was a clap of thunder and a light flashed in the feasting hall, blinding everyone except the already blind harpist.

‘Never,' shrieked a voice, ‘they should never dance as man and wife!'

Blinking, Lady Rosa beheld a girl, no older than herself, with dirty brown hair and a slightly grubby face. In one hand she held a staff decorated at the top with a great crystal and in the other she held a scrawny black cat. She looked somewhat familiar, but Lady Rosa couldn't place her. She turned to see her mother's reaction. Her mother was advancing on the girl, one hand extended graciously to greet the unexpected guest and her best hostess smile on her face.

Polly's hair is sometimes a little dirty – not that Holly is Polly, but I simply had to base my witch on someone, otherwise how could I write about her? I wasn't sure yet
why Rosa thought she was slightly familiar. I just threw that in for a bit of tension to keep the reader interested. The problem with that kind of thing, though, was that you had to remember what you'd thrown in while you wrote the rest of it. Perhaps Holly could be Lord Burgundy's bastard daughter to some forest witch. That wasn't a bad thought. I paused to write it down in my notebook and ploughed on.

‘I'm afraid we haven't been properly introduced,' Lady Tamsin said, delicately clasping the young girl's hand in such a way as to mostly avoid contact with it and definitely avoid being in reach of the cat, who had flattened its ears at her approach and was flexing its paws to show off unnaturally sharp claws.

‘That's right, we haven't,' the girl said, ‘but I'm Witch Holly and this is Eclipse.'

Took me ages to come up with the name Eclipse. I tried all sorts of other names first but they'd all been used before. How many black cats called Midnight does the world need?

‘Welcome, my dear. This is my husband, Lord Treece.'

Lord Treece stepped forward and bowed low over the girl's hand. He, too, avoided the cat's gaze and withdrew as soon as he could. He sneezed.

‘Sorry,' he said, ‘allergic reaction. Nothing against Eclipse, just an involuntary reaction.'

Did they know about allergies then? Well, it was a fantasy. I could bend the rules a bit. I liked the idea of Lord Treece sneezing away while Lady Burgundy frowned and the Witch Holly narrowed her eyes.

‘Your husband – which husband, Lady Burgundy?'

‘My second husband, of course,' Lady Burgundy said. There was an edge in her voice that Lady Rosa recognised instantly. It was the same edge that sent her scurrying to her room to finish her lessons. Witch Holly seemed unaware of the danger she could be in. ‘My first has been declared dead. He has neither been seen nor heard from for the requisite number of years. I missed him sorely for the first decade, Witch Holly. But enough is enough, I'm sure you'll agree.'

‘It would be, if your first husband wasn't still alive!' Although the girl scarcely raised her voice, all the wedding guests heard. The Abbot turned pale and poured another glass of wine. Lord Treece looked quickly at his new wife and took her hand in his.

‘How do you know?' he asked simply.

‘I saw it in my scrying bowl,' she answered, ‘and the Old Ones sent me here to tell you before it was too late. But I couldn't find Eclipse. Looked for him everywhere. Blasted cat was hiding. He hates travelling. So I am too late, aren't I?'

‘Not only too late, but your evidence is very slight,' Lady Burgundy said smoothly. ‘I think we shall have to keep you here, until new evidence comes to light.'

I was proud of the way Lady Burgundy just went on as though her party wasn't ruined by this witch upstart calling her a bigamist in front of everyone.

‘You're not putting me in...'

But it was too late, guards had seized the young witch and grabbed her magic staff before she could use it against them. Without it she was powerless. Eclipse jumped from her arms and disappeared during the shouting and struggle. No one except Lady Rosa saw him go. She wondered if she should run after him and catch him but she loved animals and couldn't bear the thought of the cat, too, being locked in the dungeon, so she let him go.

If only she hadn't. But she didn't know about witch's cats then.

More tension added. I leant back in my chair. This was going better than it had for ages. I was on a roll. Thank heavens – I needed one!

The dungeon was dark as night and the walls were as clammy as perspiring flesh but cold. Holly shivered.

‘They can see in the dark,' one of the guards said to the other, ‘no need to leave a candle.'

Poor Holly couldn't. Without her magic staff and cat she was relatively powerless. She was only an apprentice witch, after all. Scrying and the lesser spells she could do with the appropriate equipment, but she hadn't learnt the other magic. The Old Ones had noticed a definite talent in her for scrying, so they'd concentrated on developing that rather than the more useful things like night vision. She huddled in a corner listening to scrabbles she recognised as rats and wished she knew a lot more than she did.

Meanwhile, in another part of the castle, the guests were dancing but there was a certain awkwardness about the festivities, despite Lady Tamsin's graciousness, the blind harpist's most soothing and jolly tunes and the quantities of ale and wine being poured.

‘I say,' Ricardo said in Lady Rosa's ear, ‘do you think this might be true?'

Her heart was thumping so loudly she thought everyone would be able to hear it. My father, she thought, my father still alive! But, when she answered Ricardo, her tone was as quiet and calm as her mother's had been. ‘I have no idea,' she said, ‘really, these people come out of the woods and declare themselves servants of the Old Ones but half of them are just after money. You know how it is, I'm sure.'

Ricardo looked down at her. She was paler than ever, he thought, but the slight smile that met his look betrayed nothing of her thoughts. She would make a wonderful wife, he thought – beautiful and clever. What more could a man want?

‘Shall we step outside?' he asked. ‘The moonlight makes the parapet an inviting place to dally.'

Lady Rosa swallowed. No man before had asked her such a thing. But it was a good time while her mother's attention was diverted. It was really now or never. She bent her head and they walked slowly towards the great doors that opened on to the parapet.

Actually, I wasn't sure what a parapet was. I googled it and it turned out it was a narrow walkway around a wall. Perhaps a garden would have been a better place for them to pash? But I liked the sound of the parapet. Also, they could lean on the wall and see the castle grounds stretch out in front of them. The moon would shine on them. No, the moon would
beam
on them while they kissed.

But how did I write about kissing? What would Lady Rosa feel? I'd never kissed anyone – not like that.

I tried it on my hand. It just felt strangely as though I was sort of munching my own hand. Yuck. I could probably have gone into the lounge room and spied on some kissing. Trib and Mum were watching some romantic war film in there. But I could hardly go in there with my notebook and make notes.

There's always some hitch with writing. Like in the emails from Dad when I'd just think, yes, I've got it right, and I'd sail along confidently saying this and that. Then I'd realise Spooky had asked me an unanswerable
question, like
where do you see yourself in five years' time, Max?
What kind of question was that, anyway?

Why did they have to kiss? Would Lady Rosa enjoy it? Would I enjoy it?

‘You are very beautiful,' Ricardo said as they surveyed the view before them. It was full moon and the grounds were lit up as though specially for them. Further away, the forest was a shadowy mass of trees.

‘Thank you,' Lady Rosa's heart was beating wildly. She thought he might kiss her. The setting was right, the mood was right. Would he?

As though he knew what she was thinking he took one of her hands and raised it to his mouth, looking at her the entire time. His mouth lingered on her hand. She didn't try to pull her hand away.

I left them there because Dad had driven into Mum's driveway and was tooting.

I'd decided to warm him up to the idea of meeting Spooky. I'd worked out my plan and put it into action practically as soon as I was in the car.

‘I'm sick of being an only child,' I told him, ‘it's boring. There's never anyone to play with. Like this weekend – Mum and Trib did nothing but discuss wedding stuff. Boring.'

‘Well, I can't do anything about that,' Dad said, ‘and nor can your Mum, I wouldn't think. She wouldn't want
to start a new family at her age. Babies and toddlers are hard work and kids are just plain expensive.'

‘But you could meet someone who already had a kid,' I pointed out, ‘that would be ideal. I'd have a stepbrother.'

‘I'm not rushing into a new relationship just to satisfy your demands, kiddo,' Dad said, ‘and anyway, it wouldn't necessarily be a stepbrother. I might meet someone with a girl. How would you feel then? Not the only princess round the place!'

I chose to ignore this remark.

‘I think you should start going out with people again,' I said. ‘It's not good being by yourself all the time.'

‘Is this another one of your campaigns?' Dad sounded a bit cranky.

‘Not a campaign, exactly,' I said, ‘just an opinion. There was an article in today's paper about Internet dating.'

Dad snorted. ‘I don't think so, Magenta. Really!'

‘Don't be such an old stick-in-the-mud. Everyone's doing it. People are meeting really lovely people on the Net. They're getting married and everything.'

‘Call me old-fashioned, but I like meeting someone face to face and feeling whether the chemistry's right.'

‘Well, that's tough,' I said, ‘because where are you going to meet this chemistry experiment if you never go out?'

‘All in good time,' Dad said, reaching over to pat my knee, ‘all in good time, Magenta.'

‘It's not looking good,' I whispered to Polly later on the phone. ‘He wants chemistry, not emails.'

‘He can't get chemistry until he meets her,' Polly said practically. ‘You'll have to talk him into it. I'm sure when he hears the whole story, he'll be game.'

I wasn't. Polly hadn't experienced Dad's stubbornness first-hand, the way I had. But she was right, I would have to talk him into it – sooner than we thought, because when I checked there was an email from Spooky suggesting they meet for coffee. She talked about chemistry, too. Why did adults harp on chemistry? I decided it could all wait until the next day. I was too stressed to deal with it. What with the kissing in the Chronicles, Trib and Mum's wedding and Dad's refusal to even read the newspaper article on Internet dating, I was almost looking forward to school.

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