Maggie's Wolves, Part Four: A BBW Shifter Romance (Red Mountain Pack Book 4) (3 page)

Chapter Four

The library was a small room in the attic. It reminded her of a tower with its narrow, curving staircase and its eagle’s nest view. The lodge was sprawling, with all sorts of twists and turns and little alcoves scattered about. It would take her some time to get to know it. If she didn’t miss her guess, this room was above the kitchen. She could see the peaked roofline of what had to be the great room to her right. Below and to her left was a small balcony like the one outside Case’s bedroom.

It was a comfortable space with deep, cozy chairs scattered about and shelves overflowing with books. The setting sun cast everything in a warm, golden light. Eli pointed toward a switch on the wall. “This controls the blinds. It gets bright in here this time of day.”

“I bet.”

She bent to peer into a glass-fronted case. The books inside looked very old. She recognized a few as family Bibles, but most didn’t even have writing on the spine.

“That’s where we keep the older books,” Eli said. “The glass keeps the dust out and it’s treated to protect them from UV rays. Case’s mother was a history buff and collected old journals. Shifter lore passed down within the packs for the past several centuries.”

Her fingers itched with the desire to pull them out. She glanced up at Eli. “Will Case mind me reading them?”

“I’m sure he won’t, but you should wait to talk to him. He’ll be able to give you an idea on where to start. Some of them are too old to be handled without precaution.”

Reluctantly, she nodded and straightened. There were a lot of history books. Apparently, Case’s mother hadn’t only been interested in shifter lore. There were shelves devoted to classic literature—Austen and Dickens and the like. But there were also shelves stuffed with horror and fantasy. She smiled when she came to a whole section on werewolf fiction.

When she was a little girl hiding under the blankets with a flashlight trying to sneak in just one more hour of reading, she’d dreamed of a place like this. No. She hadn’t. She’d dreamed of a place like her apartment. Somewhere to hide away from the world. She’d never dreamed of anything like this. She wouldn’t have dared to reach for this kind of luxury.

“Everything else is fair game?”

Eli nodded, a small smile playing about his lips. “It’s not going to be easy to pry you out of here, is it?”

“Nope.”

He tipped his head toward the door. “I have to get dinner started. Chili okay?”

“Sounds great. Do you want help?”

He shook his head. “Take as much time as you need up here. I’ll warn the others off. We’ll wait to eat until you’re ready to face everyone again.”

“I’m not hiding.”

“I didn’t say you were.” He walked toward the door. “See you in a bit.”

Listening to Eli’s retreating footsteps, Maggie looked around the room. She’d been alone so much of her life that it was hard getting used to living in a pack. She liked having people to talk to, who cared about her. She liked being able to touch other people and having them touch her. She’d forgotten what that was like. Her parents had hugged and held her constantly, but Tildy had never been demonstrably affectionate. She wondered if that need for physical contact was part of being a wolf. It certainly calmed the wolf. With all the changes she’d been through in the last few days, she should be a wreck.

She didn’t feel wrecked. She felt like she’d finally come home.

Her biggest fear was that it all seemed too good to be true. She kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something awful to happen that would make it all come crashing down. She worried that when the fog of heat cleared, they’d all realize that they’d made a terrible mistake and ask her to leave. No amount of reassurance from Case or Eli or Jack could make her shake it.

She didn’t even want to share her fears with her mates. They’d be hurt if they knew what she was thinking, and she didn’t want to hurt them when they’d been so kind.

She studied the books for a few moments before pulling Pride & Prejudice from the shelf. Dropping into one of the chairs, she tucked her legs beneath her and pulled a fur throw over her lap. She was chilly even though she’d gotten dressed again in the sweats and T-shirt. If Case had his way with his new no-clothing policy, they’d need to turn up the heat.

Turning the book in her hands, she looked at the old-fashioned cover and tried to guess the book’s age. Not too old. Maybe forty or fifty years. It looked like something you’d pick up at a library or estate sale. Well-read and a little worn at the edges.

Curling up against the arm of the chair, she started to read. Soon she found herself lost in the book, sinking into the familiar story. When she looked up between chapters, she was surprised at how dark the room had become. She stretched out a hand to reach for the lamp when the door opened behind her.

She glanced over her shoulder to find Case hovering in the doorway, looking oddly uncertain. He was barefoot and shirtless. His skin still carried the scent of snow and wolf. He must have tracked her down immediately after coming back. “May I come in?”

“Of course you can. It’s your library.”

“It’s yours, too.”

She set the book aside. “Did you have a nice run?”

“It cleared my head.” He crossed the room on silent feet. The dying light painted his bare skin in shades of orange and pink as he passed in front of the window. He knelt in front of the chair and took her hands in his cold fingers. “I came to apologize.”

An apology from Case? She didn’t understand. “What are you sorry for?”

“The fight. You shouldn’t have had to see that. I knew Declan was upset, but I didn’t think he’d drag you into the middle of it.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

“Declan provoked me, yes. But that’s no excuse for me losing control. It’s never happened before, and it won’t happen again.”

He took too much on himself. Just because he was the alpha didn’t mean he had to be perfect. She remembered the laughing, happy expression on his face as he’d chased her earlier. There was no sign of that now. He was locked down again. Buttoned up tight. She smoothed her thumb over the deep crease between his brows. “Okay.”

His hazel eyes darkened to a deep golden color. “Okay?”

She touched his cheek where he’d gotten hurt. The skin was unblemished. All signs of that ugly fight between him and Declan erased. “No harm, no foul. You and Declan work things out?”

“For now. I left you hungry.”

“Eli took care of me.” But he knew that. He’d been in the yard when Eli had pinned her against the window. Case didn’t look particularly happy about it.

“Everyone’s downstairs in the game room waiting for dinner,” he said. “Even Carson and Declan. I thought maybe we could have a do-over of today. You can get to know them under better circumstances.”

“You think it’s wise for us all to be together right now? They don’t seem to like me much. Maybe I should tackle them one at a time.”

“We’re just playing pool. They’ll be on their best behavior. If the heat’s not bothering you now, you’ll be thinking clearly, and they won’t be distracted by their wolves.”

He stood, and her eyes fell on his scar. About seven inches of it curved above his waistband to disappear around his back. She traced it, and the muscles in his abdomen flexed.

“How did you get this?”

His mouth tightened and she thought he might not answer, but then he said, “I got it because I was young and stupid. Alone and on an errand for the pack. Two men attacked me as I walked to my truck.” She raised her brows and he laughed softly. “Yes, only two. I was overconfident. One of them had a silver knife, but I didn’t realize that right away. I wondered why it didn’t heal.”

“It’s weird he had a silver knife.”

“I suppose you couldn’t know…” He pulled her to her feet. “There are people out there who are aware of our existence. Not many. Most of them are like your aunt, wolves whose ancestors went human a long time ago. Some of them feel something missing and come hunting for it.
Some
of them have been taught we’re evil and come armed.”

“How often?”

“It’s rare enough.” He touched his scar. “This was only the second time I’d ever encountered one. I’ve seen two more since and was able to avoid both. You can smell it on them. If we come across any—”

“I remember the smell. My aunt…wolf, but not wolf. I’ll know it if I come across one.”

He nodded. “Some of them are harmless enough, but it’s easier to assume the worst.”

“Do you think I ever came across any shifters and they avoided me because of my aunt?”

He considered it for a moment and then shook his head. “It’s possible but unlikely. Most shifters who scented a lone female wolf would have chased after you regardless of your company. You’d have triggered their protective instincts, and they’d have felt compelled to see if you needed help.”

“I wish someone had found me. I could have used the help. Some advice anyway. Maybe a warning about what to expect with the heat.”

He brushed the hair from her face and cradled her jaw. “I’m glad no one else found you. I would change the past for you if I could, but only if it meant I found you sooner.”

Wolflight flickered in his eyes and she held her breath, mesmerized by the sight. Case wanted her, but he kept pulling back, turning her toward his pack mates. Eli might have been able to help her beat back the heat, but she still wanted Case.

“We should go downstairs,” he said. “Everyone’s waiting.”

She’d hoped to speak with Jack alone before facing Carson again, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen. She could say no, of course. Case wouldn’t force her to go make small talk with his friends. But she had the sense that her time was running out. The heat had receded for the time being, but she still felt restless. It felt like something had changed.

Could it be…?

She placed a hand over her belly, thinking of Jack whispering in her ear about babies that morning. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“If I get pregnant is the heat over?”

“No, it runs its course either way. But you’re not pregnant. Not yet. I’d scent the change on your body. You still smell fertile.”

She looked at him sharply but he only shrugged. The corner of his mouth edged up in a smile. “It smells good. Why do you ask?”

“I could be wrong, but I have the feeling that time is running out. There’s this pressure in the back of my mind, like I’m late for a big appointment and need to hurry.”

“The length of the cycle varies for every shifter. It’s been three days now. Heat lasts about a week, but that doesn’t mean that it will last that long. It’s always best to trust your instincts.” His long fingers tightened on hers. “Will you come downstairs? Just to play pool.”

They both knew there was no “just” about it. Case wanted her to claim Declan and Carson. Her wolf was ready to claim Declan based on that one not-entirely-pleasant kiss. But Maggie was still angry at him for attacking her mate. Her wolf was curious about Carson, but willing to let him walk if he wasn’t interested. And she wanted…

She didn’t know what she wanted.

It was hard to separate her own desires from that of the wolf. She hardly recognized herself anymore. What kind of woman had sex with three men over the course of three days? Who liked it when the others watched? What kind of woman—?

Unexpectedly, the heat flooded her body with sudden force. Her womb clenched, and she gasped at the sharp twist of pain in her belly. She doubled over, trying to catch her breath.

Case was there, pulling her into his arms. “Maggie! Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

She clung to him as the pain faded, drawing comfort from the feel of his strong body. She buried her face against his chest and breathed him in. When her muscles began to loosen, she said, “I’m okay. It’s the heat.” She blew out a shaky breath. “It hasn’t done that since it first started, when I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I thought I was past that phase.”

He was silent for a moment and then tipped up her face. “You’re fighting it again. Fighting the instincts of your wolf. Come downstairs with me.”

It was his alpha voice. She heard the command in his tone even if he was trying to conceal it. It hurt that he would try to boss her around at a time like this.

“You know I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“I know it.”

“Declan scares me,” she said, “and I’m pretty sure Carson hates me right now.”

“Carson doesn’t hate you. He’s scared, that’s all. Just as nervous about this as you are.”

She sincerely doubted that. “I don’t see how this can possibly work out.”

Case didn’t answer that. He only waited for her decision. Finally, she sighed. “Okay, then. Let’s just hope there’s no blood this time around.”

Chapter Five

Everyone looked up as Maggie entered the room. Carson was leaning over the pool table to take his shot. Jack froze with a tumbler of alcohol half-lifted to his lips. Declan stood on the opposite side of the pool table, his legs braced and his arms crossed as if he’d only been waiting for her and Case to return. One step into the room and she stopped walking. She might have turned tail and scampered off like a rabbit if Case hadn’t been standing right behind her.

Knowing Case, he’d probably blocked her escape route on purpose. She took a step forward, and the tableau was broken. Carson took his shot. Two balls cracked together and the seven ball sank into the side pocket. Jack took a sip of his drink and turned away. Only Declan continued to stare, raking his gaze over her from head to toe and back again.

Her wolf bristled, and Maggie had to swallow back the growl that rose in her throat. She forced a smile. Case placed a hand on her back and moved to her side. Declan’s gaze shifted to his alpha’s, and he arched a single eyebrow. Whatever Case communicated to him in that look caused Declan to incline his head and walk to the bar.

Maggie let out a deep breath. She accepted Case’s offer of a drink and moved toward the window. Taking a seat on the stool beside Jack, she watched Carson sink another shot.

This room was downstairs, facing the back of the house. The sloping ground made it a walk-out. French doors looked out onto a snow-covered patio. There were two round tables against the wall surrounded by simple stools. A padded bench for extra seating and a bar in the corner. The pool table dominated the room and looked to have been specially made to fit the house. The legs were roughly carved logs, the sides sanded and sealed. The lamps above were plain, black metal. Simple. A little rough. Masculine but comfortable, just like the rest of their home.

“Do you play?”

She glanced over at Jack and shook her head. She didn’t want to play pool with him. What she wanted was to drag him outside and yell at him for not warning her about Carson. But she also didn’t want to start another fight. It didn’t seem like the kind of conversation she’d be able to keep from the others, so she stewed, wishing Case would hurry up with her drink.

Jack set his elbows on the table and leaned closer. Lowering his voice, he said, “I didn’t know he’d react to the news that way.”

She looked at him. His blue eyes were unexpectedly solemn. There was a crease in his brow that reminded her very much of Case. “You should have told me.”

“I didn’t think there was anything to tell. We’re close friends. Pack mates. It’s never been more than that.”

“You knew he wanted more.”

His mouth twisted. “Did I? Apparently everyone else was clear on that. It might have been nice if they’d told me about it.”

“You really didn’t know?”

“I feel like shit for not seeing it sooner. I thought…we’re pack mates, you know? I love him the same as I love Case and Eli. It might not have been the love he wanted, but it’s still love.” He reached across the table to take her hand. “I don’t want to lose him.”

She wanted to know if he’d have made the same decision this morning if he’d known how Carson felt. Jack’s voice was pitched low, but Carson could probably still hear at least some of what they were talking about. Even if he couldn’t, she could see in the icy look he flicked her way that he
knew
they were discussing him. Across the room, Case had gotten caught up in a conversation with Declan, so it looked like she was on her own with Carson and Jack for the time being.

Carson missed his next shot and joined them. Holding out the cue to Jack, he said, “Your turn.”

Jack released her hand and unfolded his long body from the stool. Carson took his seat. Jack made his first shot and then moved to the opposite side of the table. Without looking at her, Carson said, “Tell me if I even have a chance.”

She didn’t answer right away. How could she? She didn’t know the answer herself.

Carson continued impatiently. “You know where I stand with Jack. I want him.” He gave a harsh laugh. “I still want him. I don’t want to leave the pack, but I’m having a lot of trouble trying to like you right now.”

“I know what you mean.”

He turned his head to look at her, a spark of amusement in his dark eyes. “It’s not you, you understand that, right? If we had more time, I’m sure I’d get over it. Come to terms with the fact that Jack doesn’t feel the same way and be on my knees begging for a taste of you just like everyone else. Frankly, if you offered me that taste now, I’d be tempted to use my teeth.”

A shiver chased over her skin at the sharpness of his tone. It wasn’t entirely fear that caused the reaction and unfortunately Carson noticed that. He raised an eyebrow. His gaze dropped briefly to her mouth and then fell to her breasts. He made a rough noise and sat back in his chair, returning his attention to the table.

His hand fisted on his thigh and then slowly unclenched. His voice, when he spoke again, was strained. “You should know I’m attracted to you. I like women as much as men. My wolf…” He swallowed hard. “My wolf prefers you.”

“That has to make things harder for you.”

Carson nodded stiffly, and Maggie felt a surge of sympathy. All this time hoping Jack turned his way only to come home and find out he’d already lost him. And not only had Jack betrayed him—however unknowingly—his wolf was doing the same thing.

“Did you get a ‘follow the instincts of your wolf’ lecture too?”

Carson smiled thinly. “Case and Eli really like to toss that one out. It’s not easy advice to follow and I think they know it. Maybe it gets easier when you’re older?”

She traced a wet ring on the table. “Jack says Case and Eli are more in tune with their wolves because they grew up in solid packs and haven’t had to fight their wolves or hide them away.”

“Jack’s pack was very old school,” Carson said. “Mine was the opposite. My mother took twelve mates. She kept collecting them through the years, adding a few new ones with every heat cycle. When my oldest sister went into heat, she claimed three of my brothers before she left the pack.”

Maggie’s stomach turned. She tried to hide her reaction, but she must not have done a very good job.

“Yeah,” he said. “Incest is just as taboo among shifters as it is in the human world. The wolves don’t always see it the same way though.”

“Your wolf…”

He nodded. “I know what it’s like to be at odds with my wolf. It’s what brought me here. What was your pack like?”

“Non-existent.”

His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“My parents died when I was young and I was raised by a distant relative whose family had gone human generations ago. She thought if I denied the wolf, it would just go away.”

“Were you trying to go human when Eli found you?” His voice was carefully neutral.

“Eli didn’t force me into anything if that’s what you’re asking.”

He shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I know how compelling the mating drive can be when it hits. Just having him nearby would have been hard for you.”

“I didn’t know what was going on at the time.” She smiled at the memory. “Eli sat down and explained it all. Offered himself up on a platter. It wasn’t a hard decision to make.”

Jack sank the eight ball and stood up with a grin. Carson declined to play and so did she. Case accepted Jack’s challenge, finally making his way over to deliver her drink.

When the two men started on the next game, Carson quietly asked, “Is that all it takes?”

She took a sip of the burning liquid and set it aside with a cough. “Is that all what takes?”

His dark eyes bore into hers. “Do you want me on a platter? On my knees? If I offer my body up to you, what will you do?”

What would she do? Maybe she was making all of this harder than it had to be. She’d claimed Eli and Case less than an hour after meeting them. She’d gotten cold feet with Jack, but that was mostly because she’d just been uprooted from her home. She’d left her own territory for that of her mates and it had taken her a little bit to feel comfortable in this enormous house. For her to realize that she had new roots in Eli, Case and Jack.

Was she really going to turn Declan and Carson away? She couldn’t honestly get to know them in just a few days. But she
could
trust in her wolf and in her mates who’d already claimed Declan and Carson as their own.

She looked into Carson’s eyes. They were dark and shadowed. His uncertainty tugged at her heart. He wasn’t trying to hide himself from her. He was open in his hurt and anger. Maybe he was being just as open and honest in his desire.

“Is it really what you want? I can’t believe you’re ready to bind yourself for life to someone you just threatened to bite a few minutes ago.”

“Did you think this mating thing would be easy?”

“I didn’t think I’d ever find one mate, let alone five.”

They stared at each other in silence for a long moment, and then Carson stood. He shrugged free of his jacket. His hands lifted to his shirt, and he started to undo the buttons one by one.

Case and Jack stopped their game. Both men turned to stare at Carson and then at her. She didn’t acknowledge either of them. She had no answer for the question on their faces. Vaguely, she was aware of Declan taking a seat at the table behind her, but as soon as it became apparent that he didn’t intend to interfere, she dismissed him from her mind.

All of her attention was fixed on Carson. With slow, unhurried movements, he unbuckled his belt and then shoved his jeans off his hips. He wasn’t wearing anything beneath. He was as lean as Jack, but built along sparer lines. Narrow hips, long elegant limbs. A straight and uncircumcised cock, fully erect and jutting from his body like it was reaching out to her.

Her mouth went dry even as moisture flooded her pussy. She shifted in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable.

The expression on his face said he expected her rejection. He was doing this just to get it over with. She knew this was it for her and Carson. If she turned him down, she wouldn’t get another chance. Part of her resented the fact that he was forcing her hand. Part of her admired how freaking brave he was. She knew he’d been trampled today, but here he was getting right back up again. Putting everything on the line in front of the people he cared most about in the world. It was an accusation, yes. But it was also a challenge.

She’d never been able to resist a challenge.

Naked, he stepped toward her, blocking her view of Case’s frown and Jack’s scowl. Jack wasn’t angry, she didn’t think that was it. He was scared.

“Maggie,” Carson said softly. He touched her chin and applied just enough pressure to tilt her face up. Her wolfy half warred with her human side. The wolf was equally impressed by Carson’s bravery as she was by the size of his cock. Her wolf was too damned easy to impress. Her human half wanted…time. She wanted romance. To be wooed and loved.

But this wasn’t about love. It had never been about love, and she needed to stop pretending the mate bonds were the result of anything but a biological drive. The heat swelled, messing with her ability to think straight.

“Jack,” she said, her tongue feeling clumsy around the name. “You want Jack.”

Carson turned his hand to cradle her jaw. He spread his fingers, laying them against the vulnerable side of her neck. His pinky rested just above the spot where her pulse thundered beneath her skin.

His dark eyes hooded. “That doesn’t stop me from wanting you. You want Jack, Eli, Case. I can want more than one person too.”

“You’ll mate with me to stay close to him.”

“I’ll mate with you because I want to mate with you. Staying close to Jack, getting to stay with the pack is a part of that. You’re a part of my pack and yet here I am standing on the outside. I can’t deny that’s some of the attraction. It’s not all of it. You feel it too.”

She did. She felt
something
. Heat, pheromones, the wolf, whatever the heck it was, she felt the pull of it. When Carson lowered his head to kiss her, she didn’t try to avoid it. One kiss. Maybe it would help her to make up her mind about him. When she’d come downstairs tonight, she hadn’t expected to claim him. She’d truly believed that he hated her. Maybe he did, but it didn’t feel like it.

His hand, warm and steady, slid beneath the fall of her hair. He cupped the back of her neck and pulled her closer. His mouth was tentative as it moved on hers, his lips surprisingly soft. His tongue slid between her parted lips and immediately withdrew. He pulled back enough to look her in the eyes. Whatever he saw caused him to nod slightly and come back for a deeper, more thorough kiss.

She gripped his arms, more to steady herself than to draw him closer, but he came closer. His thighs bumped her knees and then pressed between them. His broke the kiss and slid his rough cheek against hers. His hot breath spilled into her ear a moment before his teeth caught her earlobe. His hands slid lower, skimming the sides of her breasts to settle at her waist.

He was a tentative lover, feeling her out with every touch. She couldn’t doubt that he was aroused, not with the evidence right there. But he didn’t seem to be in any hurry either. He lightly licked the shell of her ear and then pulled back to look her in the face.