Maid to Order (10 page)

A moan of pure ecstasy escaped at the feel of her slick heat wrapped around him. Comfort and pleasure had his legs nearly buckling. It had been a very,
very
long time since he’d been with a woman. But never in his whole life had he been with someone like her. She took his bad attitude, added a little icing to it and fed it back to him with a dimpled smile and a wink. He was falling for her.
Christ
.

“Damn you. I am just supposed to be helping you out… not…” he said as he thrust into her forcing her whole body up the wall. “Ahh… so damn good. You hide perfection between your thighs.”

“Mmm… Yes, Rusty, please. Like that… pleasure me,” she gasped out.

“Jesus, I’m not going to last very long… you’re so tight and wet around me. Shit… you feel way too good. Damn, Amy.”

“You finally said my name… God, I’m almost there… you feel amazing. Harder, Rusty. Come on, baby,” she said between breaths.

Then she leaned forward, held on to his shoulders and head while kissing him as he slammed into her again and again until he felt her body tighten around him and she moaned out her orgasm into his mouth. Then his body was taking a ride to the stars… something he feared he might never experience again.

On and on the pleasure went and he could barely keep them both upright as he thrust into her a few more times, riding out the last bit of the ecstasy. His relief at being able to enjoy this again, especially with Amy who he had wanted from the minute he’d talked to her on the phone, was so great that he could feel tears burning in his eyes. He needed to get away from her before she watched him break down bawling like a baby.

“Shhh… It’s okay, Rusty. I’ve got you.” she whispered as he held her tight against the wall.

She continued holding on to his head, running her fingers through his hair and kissing his temple. It was only then that he realized he was already crying.
Sobbing actually.
Head down and buried against her breasts that were still fully clothed.

Jesus… what was wrong with him? He’d taken her without a thought to her pleasure or even his own. Like an animal in the wild, he’d mounted her with all the finesse of a beast. Worse yet… he’d broken the cardinal rule that he always hounded his men about… he’d rode her bareback.

And given a chance he’d do it again…
and again.

Chapter Eight

Amy found it hard to even take a shower. Every nerve in her body was bare and throbbing, her legs were still shaking and it was like she could still
feel
him right there pleasuring her.

In an instant the situation between her and Rusty had changed drastically. The pent up charge of energy that flowed between them had erupted into the most amazing sex she’d ever experienced. Just thinking of it had her fully aroused and squirming all over again. He’d consumed her like a man who was suffocating while knowing that she was the only air available.

He’d forced her to ask for what she wanted instead of just going for it blindly like most men. No mad fumbling around in an attempt to find the one thing she wanted that would earn him her favor… nope. Rusty had held back and essentially made her beg him for it.

When he’d finally given in to her, he’d been full of passion, need and raw emotion. He’d known exactly how to touch her, how much pressure to use, how to move so that he rubbed her just perfectly with his own body.

Then when it had ended he’d fallen apart as though she’d broken him into millions of pieces. Without so much as a word he’d put her back on her feet, quickly righted his clothing, apologized under his breath and just left.

Not a backward glance, not a, ‘Can I see you again?’ or even better… another round of incredible pleasure. It almost felt like she’d made him do something he really wasn’t capable of even though he’d been the one doing all the touching. Should she call him and see if he was okay?

A comment Rusty had made once about almost getting his men killed filtered through her mind just enough to make her stop and give the thought merit. Was this what people who suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD
were like? Were they like
Mr. Hawkins?
Something
serious was going on with Rusty. She’d wondered about him and why he acted the way he did, been fascinated by his tightly leashed virility, but right now she was just downright worried about him.

He’d been fine while making her body completely come apart in his strong, capable and oh so knowledgeable hands. Then, as soon as the fire had begun to die down and she’d taken the opportunity to give him true affection by holding him close and playing with his hair, he’d completely fallen apart.

Heartbreaking sobs that she didn’t know what to do with had torn at her soul. The sound had spoken of a devastation she’d never experienced and even now she knew that she needed to do
something
to help him.
But what?

Should she call someone? Who would she call? And what exactly would she say? “This hot guy that I think I might actually be falling for has some serious problems that I’m not really qualified to deal with.”
Right.

Rusty also didn’t seem the kind of man to seek professional help whether he needed it or not. Her gut told her, he needed to talk to someone and was screaming loudly in his quiet standoffish manner that he shouldn’t be alone right now.

Danny.
Was her brother okay there with Rusty in his current emotional state? She didn’t think for a minute that Rusty would harm one hair on Danny’s head but how many people wound up on the news talking about “I never would have thought he would do something like that.” She didn’t want to be another evening news starlet, especially at Danny
or
Rusty’s expense.

Finishing her shower, she dressed quickly, threw her hair up in a loose ponytail, grabbed her keys and purse and headed out the door. It was her turn to chase Rusty down.

She had a brief moment of doubt upon pulling into his driveway and finding all the lights off in his house. What if she was worrying for nothing and he was already sleeping? There was no way… he couldn’t experience what they’d just shared and be anymore asleep than she was right now.

Getting out of the car, she quietly shut the door and then headed up the walk. As she neared his front door it suddenly swung open and he was standing there, just looking at her. He looked none the worse for his earlier outburst. He held the door open for her and she stepped inside. The silence between them was deafening and awkward.

“I shouldn’t have done that to you… and you shouldn’t be here right now,” he finally said. Then he turned and walked away heading down the hallway.

Amy paused a moment before deciding to follow him. As she passed by the door to her brother’s room she could hear the low sounds of a radio
coming from within.

When she made it to Rusty’s room she found him sitting on the side of his bed, covering his face with his hands. Was he still distraught? Was he that ashamed of what they’d shared?
Why?
And what did they do about it now? What could she say to him? What should she do?

Instinct had her approaching him slowly until she was standing in front of him. The need to comfort him overwhelmed her until she finally reached out to run her fingers through his hair. He flinched at first, as though she’d hit him or meant him harm, but he finally relaxed and allowed her to continue.

Stepping up closer to him, she just continued with what she’d tried to do earlier… comfort him… by running her fingers through his hair and holding him in her arms. He suddenly wrapped his strong arms around her waist and pulled her to him, burying his face in her stomach.

“You should run from me as fast as you possibly can, Amy,” he finally said after several minutes of just holding on to her.

Just the sound of his voice made her body come alive all over again. For the first time in her life she truly felt like someone needed her. It was a heady sensation but scary at the same time since it was obvious that he needed more help than she could ever give him. She felt desperate for him, breathless and needy in return.

“I can still
feel
you, Rusty. What you did to me was absolutely
amazing
. I don’t really know what to do with all these sensations running through me, especially if I’m now just supposed to turn and walk away from them… from
you.
I’m not even real sure I
can
just walk away. What I do know is that I want you all over again,” she whispered against the top of his head.

“You don’t understand… I usually have problems… in that area,” he replied. “I wasn’t sure I could… even once… so there’s no way I can twice. Especially in the same night. I’m sorry, Amy. Please know that it’s me… all me… it has nothing to do with you.”

Taking his hands, she guided them under her shirt to the bare skin of her rib cage. He touched her hesitantly for a brief moment before backing away and looking up at her. The pain in his face was more than she could handle so she leaned forward and kissed him. She coaxed him with her kisses until he was kissing her back. It was like drawing a frightened animal out from its hiding place.

“I never meant to take advantage of you like that, Amy. I only meant to show you that you shouldn’t tease a man like you do… especially someone like me. I hope I didn’t hurt you but I do have limits… and you just kept pushing them. That’s not an excuse and I am sorry… it’s just an attempt to explain myself. Helping you with Danny doesn’t entitle me to share your bed… nor do what I did. He’s my friend… you don’t owe me for that… if that’s what all this is about,” he said, again burying his face in her stomach.

“Helping me?” she laughed lightly. “I was so angry about your
helping
… because he’s so happy here with you. I just can’t do that for him. I have all the rest of the stuff from his old room at Sylvia’s in the second bedroom of my apartment… it’s completely
full.
That’s what I was going to show you earlier so that you would understand that it leaves no room for an actual person. Even if I did have more room, I don’t know how to make Danny happy like he is here with you. This may sound crazy but that makes me really
jealous
.”

“There’s no need to be jealous… He’s a lot older than you are…
I
am a lot older than you are. We grew up together where obviously you did not… it takes time to get to know someone. Don’t try to rush it. He’s welcome here for as long as he wants to be or as long as you’ll allow it,” he said quietly.

“What about me, Rusty? Am I welcome here… in your house…
in your bed?
Can I call you Rusty now instead of Mr. Hawkins? Or are you done with me now that you proved that you can make my body come alive like nothing I’ve ever experienced before?” she asked.

“That should never have happened… it just
shouldn’t have
. I meant no disrespect and I’m sorry. I’m too old and worn down for someone like you,” he said, pulling back from her and physically pushing
her away from him. Standing up he turned his back to her. “You should go. I realize I probably strike you as a crazy person in light of my earlier actions… and even more so now… but I assure you that Danny is completely safe here with me.”

He was pushing her away while scrambling from his own emotions. She wasn’t sure if his reaction was out of guilt over the way in which he’d taken her up against the wall. Perhaps it went against his strict moral code.

Or maybe it was due to the fact that he’d accidentally given her a glimpse of the pain he lived with. She wasn’t sure what exactly made him want to drive her away both physically and emotionally. At least he seemed to be in control of himself again, so maybe along with getting to know her brother, she’d also get to know Rusty. Then she could get some answers as to why she was so off limits to him.

Teasing
and
tempting
him as he’d put it had done the trick once for getting him to touch her. Touching her was what it had taken to get him to open up a little bit about what he was thinking and then release some of the pain that appeared to be eating him alive.

Having experienced him as a lover was incredible and she wanted him again. And she
would
have him again… eventually. If she had to wear him down again then so be it but she’d never wanted someone like she wanted him. Being with him had driven that home for her in a significant way.

“Fine, but you should bring Danny by the bakery sometime in the next couple of days. I’ve been thinking that maybe I
could
use his help at the shop after all. I mean he’s pretty clean and meticulous. So he could at least help with clean up chores or something,” she said, walking toward the doorway to his bedroom.

“Danny already has a job,” he replied with a sigh, as though relieved that he no longer had to discuss their recent time spent together in heaven.
Or allow her to touch him.

“He’s
not
working at the bus station… no way,” she insisted.

“No, no! He’s working for me at Man Maid,” Rusty replied.

Amy tried to fight back against the dose of anger she felt, yet again, over having Rusty beat her to the punch where Danny was concerned. And yet again he’d done it without even consulting her first.

She’d planned to talk to Rusty about Danny’s heart problems and see what he thought about the kind of jobs Danny could do. Instead, he’d just gone ahead and given Danny a job. She could only hope the job was suited for someone with Danny’s medical issues.

However, discussing it now wasn’t going to happen because, unfortunately, she was already a little hurt herself after having been so thoroughly loved physically only to then be pushed away emotionally. It was time for her to go before she and Rusty started arguing. Rusty simply looked drained and she was tired now as well.

Walking back over to him, she reached up to touch his shoulder but he put his hand out to stop her from caressing him and said, “Please, Amy. Have some mercy. I’m hanging on by a thread here. Let me adjust to all this. I mean… what have you done to me? I can still feel you too… all warm, wet and tight around me. Right now it’s making me really
edgy
and… just
please
. It isn’t right to use your body to make myself feel better. That’s no different than using alcohol or drugs to dull the pain and you deserve better than that.”

Instead of arguing with him that it was okay to accept physical comfort from someone… whether it was in the form of a hug… or sex… she dropped her hand back down to her side. She would give him the space he asked for tonight at least.

However, at some point he was going to have to talk to her, or
someone,
about what was going on with him. Only the fact that she felt in her soul Danny was safe in Rusty’s care, despite his emotional issues, was she willing to leave them
alone.

“Fine, Rusty. I’m going to go then. You know where I am if Danny needs anything. The same goes for you… If at some point you change your mind and decide you’d like me to warm your bed after all, give me a call. If I’ve not moved on to some other hot baking assistant slash cupcake delivery guy that gives me such intense orgasms that my legs are still shaking a whole hour later, maybe we can hook up again,” she said in as casual a tone as she could muster.

He closed his eyes as though he was trying to block out what she’d just said and she was relieved that at least her comments still impacted him. Obviously he wasn’t any closer to having her out of his system than she was at having him out of hers. He just needed a timeout and she would give him that even though just looking at him made her want to use everything in her arsenal to get him to relent and use her body once again for whatever relief he could get…

As disappointed as she was that Rusty had declined her offer to warm his body and his bed, she at least felt a little less panicked about his emotional state. She felt like he would be okay now. Where, when he’d left her apartment earlier, she’d been truly worried for him.

Part of her felt that maybe Danny being there was a blessed distraction for Rusty in that it pulled him out of the despair she’d caught a glimpse of in his eyes and in his sobs. Danny forced him to focus on something else for a while.