MAIL ORDER BRIDE: ARISTOCRAT: The Duke’s Engagement (Historical Victorian Duke Romance) (New Adult Romance Short Stories) (48 page)

By this time, about nine months had passed since meeting Patrick.  I still felt confused and sad about his complete disappearance but I was soooo grateful for having had the experience because I knew that it is an extreme rarity to experience that kind of soul/spiritual connection.  I also knew without a doubt that I had met him so my path would shift in the direction it had.

One day I decided to look on FB again and HE HAD A PROFILE all of a sudden, just as the psychic had predicted!  Well, he was alive and I was glad that nothing had happened to him but as I looked through his information my heart sank.  It said that he was married with a toddler. I really had felt like I couldn't trust my intuition at all and I even started to doubt if the connection we had even happened.  It really bothered me because it seemed like my whole amazing life transformation was based on something false.  So I decided to briefly write him in a cordial manner, because I really just wanted verification that he felt what I had, even though deep down I KNEW he did. It was brief because I didn't care to ruin anything in his life, even though I felt I had been wronged.

It simply stated that I always wondered what had happened to him and how he could've disappeared that easily after our connection. I also said that I hoped he wasn't married when we spent time together but I really just wanted to know that the connection was real for him. I desperately needed to trust my intuition!

Shortly after this...I received a rather weird response from him, asking when we had dated because he had forgotten. Then I got a message from another person's profile and it said that it was Patrick writing through his friend. He said that the person I was writing and who wrote me back was his wife, who had created a fake profile as him to see if he was cheating. He kept repeating in caps not to let her take his kid away and that I could call him at a number so he could explain everything.  At this point, I didn't know what to trust and I really didn't want any part of breaking up a marriage or dealing with someone who was acting so different and heartless, so I just ignored it and figured he would have to deal with his wife on his own. I didn't want to know the details. (See the “Afterword” at the end of the book for the story that followed with me, Patrick, and his wife.)

I did, however, not trust my guidance system at that moment and I had desperately called out to my guides and begged them to at least give me a sign that the connection I felt with him was real and that all my miraculous experiences weren't based on something I had conjured up in my mind that he hadn't felt.

The NEXT day, I experienced another soul-mate connection that was even more intense than the first one!!!

~Chapter 3~

Answered Prayers

Validation, validation, validation!  My guides had answered my prayers....but I should have been more careful about what I wished for.  In retrospect, I should've asked them to show this to me when the timing was right, but I insisted that I wanted answers right then!!  More on that later.

The funny thing was that this experience was similar (at first) to how I met Patrick and how we first hung out.

I had met a guy named Alex at a day party through some friends of mine. He also had a very genuine, sweet, and down to earth way about him.  He was a little taller than me, had dark skin because of his Latin descent, and was really cute.  He seemed very humble to me and I liked that.  We also did not immediately have a super strong connection but after a short time talking, for some reason, we ended up in an embrace outside of the club for ten minutes or so.  We were just hugging each other.  It wasn't intense or anything but felt really natural.

We decided to see each other again.  I hadn't expected anything from it and really thought it might just end up being a friend thing. He came over to my place the day after my plea from my guides.   

Soon after he got there I started to recognize the energy.  It got really intense and powerful very fast and was immediate validation for me that the first encounter wasn't my imagination. The difference this time though, it was another level of intensity!!

There was the same energy buzzing when our hands and lips touched and our eyes were locked into each other's, but this time there was a VERY strong pull, literally exactly as if both our heart chakras had a magnet in them that were meant for each other and literally pulled our bodies together.  This caused us to not want to let go of each other and it somehow attached our heart chakras together. When this happened, an energy (source energy, God, whatever you choose to label it) came into my crown chakra and into my heart, which then caused an opening of the two hearts, and unconditional love poured through us. It was pure love from creator and it caused me to start crying because it was so amazing and unexplainable.

Through all of these experiences, Alex verbalized what he was feeling without me asking him anything.  I wanted to make sure I knew he was experiencing the same thing, even though it was obvious that he was. The look on his face with each experience was one of complete shock and surprise that it was happening and one of instant unconditional love for me as if our souls were just reconnecting again in this lifetime.  I always explain it as a coming home feeling, and his eyes...I cannot even explain it in words other than to say that I knew them.  It was like ecstasy looking into them.  They were so big and beautiful and excited to see me again.  His smile was also familiar and if we weren’t kissing then we were both smiling sooo big that my mouth started hurting.  We couldn’t wipe the smiles off of our faces.

There were also so many synchronicities and signs while we were together. The most profound one was that I had mentioned the number 444 for some odd reason in our conversation and we looked at the TV right after. The TV was on but we weren't paying attention to it until after I said that number. The number 444 was displayed all over and all across the screen in columns and each number was flashing!  We just looked at each other in amazement, especially because it was not a commercial or part of a program. It had come out of nowhere like it was placed on my screen by our guides or angels! I later found out that 444 means that your angels are there and miracles are happening.

Another thing that happened was that time literally skipped ahead. It wasn't that time went fast because we were having fun.  We both thought that a few minutes had passed but hours had gone by. We were so confused and baffled by this. It was like we had not experienced time because we were together.

We ended up holding each other all night and I felt like I was in heaven once again. In the morning he talked about seeing where this could go because he had never experienced anything like this before, but then he asked me if I was already seeing someone. I'm not even sure what made him think to ask that but he could tell by the look in my eyes that I was.

This is where the bad timing comes in...

I had just started to see someone again that I had been on and off with for years but neither of us were really ready to commit to a relationship; he was more hesitant than I was, so I had ended it even though I was in love with him.  Honestly, it was love that was mainly because of the addicting sex.  I really cared about him but the sex definitely had power over me.  He randomly came back into my life and things were totally different.  I could tell that this time, we were headed towards being together officially and feelings were more evident between us. Two weeks into it we had the talk. He said he had felt differently this time as well and wanted to see where it would go, but wanted to make sure he didn't mess things up by not rushing into it too fast. I specifically asked him if we were together and he said no.  So to me, that meant we were free to do whatever we wanted until he was ready to be exclusive, and I wasn't holding my breath because I had already spent time with him in previous years and it had gone nowhere.

So back to that morning with Alex.  I explained to him about the situation with the other guy, Juan Carlos, and how I'd always been in love with him and I hadn't really felt like he was ready to be with me because of the conversation we had.  I also told him that I really hadn't expected to meet anyone else, especially not a soul-mate! I told Alex that Juan was not a soul-mate but I had always wanted to see where things could go if we had actually been able to commit. I also told him that although we have the soul-mate connection, I really didn't know him well and I was scared to trust my judge of character after the last soul-mate experience. So I told him that I needed to get to know him better in order to decide what to do. He was totally understanding, or at least he appeared to be at the time.

I even told Juan about the situation and he THEN, of course, said that he was ready to be exclusive, but I told him that I needed time to make the right choice. So BOTH guys were waiting for me to decide what to do. It was CRAZY!  I felt as though my guides or the universe were playing a dirty trick on me!  Either way, I was going to hurt someone and I was terrified of that and of making the wrong choice.

I thought that maybe if I had sex with Alex, I would then be able to figure it out because that's a HUGE part of a relationship!  Well, what happened was beyond anything I could have imagined.  

We were having sex but we couldn't pry our eyes apart.  We could see each other's souls by connecting our eyes. Suddenly our souls and our energy started to combine into one and expand outward into the whole room. We never disconnected from our eyes and both of us kept saying, "Oh my God, what's happening?!"  We were crying with tears pouring down our faces and the words "I love you" were coming from both our lips. I didn't even really realize that we were physically having intercourse because it was so intense and felt as if our energies weren't condensed into a body but were spread and intertwined together all over the room. We had become one soul.

It was beautiful.

~Chapter 4~

The Decision

Most people might think that I should have automatically known who to choose after such an experience.  I'm not sure why it was so hard for me. I was crying for the weeks that I was dating both of them because I really didn't want to hurt anyone, and I still felt like I didn't have the time to get to know Alex as a person to see if we were compatible with our likes and dislikes. It was a huge decision for me and every time I thought I had it figured out, I would flip-flop until my mind felt like it was going to explode.

It was only a few weeks that this had gone on but I'm sure it seemed like an eternity to them. I could tell that both of them were pulling away out of fear that I was going to decide on the other person.   

Finally, I told myself that I was choosing Alex and that I wanted to talk to him in person about it.  I told Juan Carlos and I only remember that he didn't seem very happy about it. I felt horrible.

To make things worse, Alex seemed to be more distant and every time I asked him to hang out it seemed like he was too busy or blowing me off, so I started to get insecure and wonder if he still cared. I knew that if I saw him in person we would both melt into each other's energy instantly and I would feel secure enough to tell him how I felt, but that day never came...I ended up telling him that we needed to stop seeing each other because he was pulling away. I hadn't even told him that I was going to choose him because I felt like I wasn't even sure if he was interested anymore.  In retrospect, I'm sure he was just as scared as I was.

I missed him every day and questioned how I had ended it. I knew that Alex was ultimately the right choice, but in my haste I lost both of them.

About a month later, he called me in the middle of the night clearly intoxicated and told me over and over for hours that he loved me. I told him that I felt the same.

He wanted me to go with him to the mountains at 6 AM with his friends on a trip he was about to take, but I was not prepared for any of that and told him we could talk about everything when he returned. So I called him when he returned and asked him if he wanted to talk about everything. He was acting like it was no big deal, so I brought up that he was telling me he loved me and he replied that he was just drunk. I'm not sure if it was out of embarrassment but I took it as if he didn't care.

So I just left things as they were.  I regretted it for a long time because I know we both loved each other but were too much in our heads to realize it or put ourselves out there first for fear of rejection.  I haven't seen him to this day but he still crosses my mind quite frequently.

~Chapter 5~

Third Time's the Charm?

My mindset after meeting the first soul-mate was that there could only be one... until I met the second one.  I didn't know that anyone could have more than one.

I wondered how many soul-mates a person could have and certainly thought that I had used them all up after the second one.  I mean, who’s heard of someone meeting more than one or two soul-mates?!  

The first chapter is titled "The Floodgates Have Opened" because it opened some kind of special energy that was pulling soul-mates to me, as well as pulling in other people that I had certain energy exchanges similar to a soul-mate experience but they weren't soul-mates. For instance, with certain people, both of us would feel a shooting electricity into our lips and body as we kissed, and I actually scared a few people with that experience.