Mail Order Madness (12 page)

“Why did the nannies leave?”  Susan was almost afraid to ask, but as their new mother,
she needed to know.

“The last one left because the boys kept putting frogs in her bed.  The one before
that left because they threw eggs at her while she was playing with the twins outside. 
So it was for a lot of different
things
, but they all had very good reasons.”
  She paused and looked at Susan.  “I think you’re doing the right thing by punishing
them right away.”

Susan fixed herself a glass of water from the pump in the kitchen and leaned against
the work table.  “I just hope it works.  Not being able to spank them takes away a
lot of my power.”
  She shook her head in disgust at the way her hands were tied.

“Just stay strong.  They’ll obey.”

Susan pushed the door open a crack to see if the boys were working. 

“She can’t make us write the sentences, you know.”  Albert’s voice came through loud
and clear.

“Are you sure?” Lewis asked.

“Positive.  I mean what’s she going to do if we just get up and go outside?”

Susan walked into the dining room.  “How are the sentences coming along?”

Albert stood up.  “I’ve decided I’m not going to write them.”

Susan set her glass of water on the table and put her hands on Albert’s shoulders
forcing him to sit.  “You will write them, or you won’t play at all today.”

“You’re not my mom!  You can’t make me.”

“I’m not your mom, but I am your step-mom and the only mo
ther
you’ll ever have.  You’ll sit there and do the work, or you’ll never play again. 
I guarantee I can stand over you all day if I have to.”

Lewis looked at her stubborn face and knew she meant business.  He bent his head and
immediately started to write the sentences.  He wrote quickly and carefully made each
letter.

Albert, on the other hand, sat and stared a
t
her as if he was sure she would just let him go if he continued to refuse.  He stood
up and she pushed him right back down in the chair.  Lewis finished and went outside
to play while she stood over Albert waiting for him.  He still hadn’t picked up his
pencil to write a single word.

Susan spoke very quietly.  “If you don’t pick up your pencil and start writing by
the time I count to three, I’ll double the sentences.  And you will spend the rest
of the day in your room once you’re finished writing them.”  She took a deep breath. 
“One.”  She looked out the window and smiled as she saw Lewis running along the edge
of the fence line as if he was racing
the brown mare on the other side of the fence
.  “Two.”  Albert picked up his pencil and started writing.  He did it grudgingly,
glaring at her the entire time, but he wrote.  Within twenty minutes, he was finished. 

Once he was done, she sat next to him at the table.  “I know you don’t want to obey
me.  I know you think I’m the enemy, but I’m your father’s wife, which makes me your
new mother.  I can be your best friend in the world, or you can make me your worst
enemy.  Either way, you’ll act the way I want you to act.  I will not give in.  Your
behavior will improve if it kills both of us.”  She stood and picked up her water
glass walking back into the kitchen.  “Have fun outside, Albert.”

She was leaning against the counter in the kitchen when she heard the door slam. 
Her eyes met Sadie’s and Sadie began to laugh.  “This is going to be fun to watch!”

*****

Saturday was Mrs. Hackenshleimer’s day off, and Susan braced herself for the onslaught
when she woke up.  She helped the twins eat their breakfast, and then went outside
with all four boys to watch them as they played.  She took some mending with her so
she could sit in the shade of a tall oak tree while watching them. 

It wasn’t long before she started to hear squeals from the pig’s pen.  As she rounded
the corner, she saw that all four boys were in with the pigs chasing a small piglet
who was running from them and squealing loudly.  The twins were covered in mud.  She
could see it oozing out of their diapers as they ran.  The two older boys had
mud
all over their faces and in their hair. 

Instead of going over to stop them immediately, she instead headed for the well, and
pulled up a bucket of ice cold water.  She carried the water over to the pig pen,
but the boys were so involved with chasing the pig, they didn’t notice her.  She took
careful aim, and threw the entire bucket of freezing water at Albert and Lewis, knowing
they were the ring leaders and the twins were just following suit. 

The boys sputtered and screamed.  Albert glared at her.  “Why did you do that?”

Susan studied the belligerent boy for a moment before saying, “Well, since you were
in the pigpen getting filthy, I knew you must want to take a bath, so I thought I’d
help you out.”
  She set the bucket on the ground and then
lifted Thomas and Walter over the fence and led them into the house.  “You boys go
ahead and keep splashing in the mud.  Once I have the twins bathed, I’ll come for
you and get you washed as well.”

“You can’t give me a bath!  I don’t want you seeing my privates!” Albert yelled after
her.

Susan shrugged still walking away.  “You’d better be clean before I’m done with your
little brothers then.”
  She didn’t care how much it upset Albert.  He’
d either clean himself with the water from the well, or he’d take a bath with her
there.  It was his choice.

She took both little boys into the bathroom and stripped them down to their birthday
suits.  Even their little stomachs were completely covered with mud.  She ran water
into the bathtub for the first time, and put them both in.  She knelt by the side
of the tub washing their little bodies tenderly, talking to them the whole time. 
“Your big brothers are going to get you into trouble if you keep listening to everything
they tell you to do.  What were you trying to do anyway?”

“Give piggy bath,” Walter told her.

“Why would you want to give the piggy a bath?  Piggies like to be dirty.”
  Susan was sure one of the older boys had told them to do it, but she wanted to hear
them say it.

“Bert said piggy needed bath,” Thomas said.

“I see.  It was Albert’s idea?  Did he tell you to help?”
  Had he deliberately coerced his two year old brothers into the pigpen or had it
been their idea?

Walter gave her a very serious look.  “Bert said we could play if we caught piggy.”

“Of course he did.  Let me give you two a little piece of advice.  Your brother Albert
is trying to get you two in trouble.”  She soaped up their hair and washed them down. 
“You need to stop listening to him.”

She lifted first Walter and then Thomas from the tub.  She rubbed them both dry and
led them up the stairs totally naked to their bedroom.  She put clean diapers and
shirts on them, but no pants.  It was too hot for them wear pants anyway.  Taking
them back downstairs, she went into the kitchen to Sadie.  “Can you feed these two
while I chase down the other two and show them who’s boss?”

Sadie nodded taking Walter and putting him in one of the high chairs they kept in
the kitchen.  Susan lifted Thomas into the other chair.  “Wish me luck.”

Sadie grinned.  “Good luck.  I wish I could see this one.”

Susan
went to the bathroom and refilled the bathtub before she
left the house and walked back toward the pigpen.  It only held pigs, and she noted
the piglet the boys had been chasing was still there.  She looked around for the older
boys.  Finally, she spotted Albert as dirty as
ever, leaning against the corral.  She walked slowly, hoping to have the element
of surprise on her side.  She grabbed Albert’s arm just as Lewis spotted her.  “Lewis,
follow me.”  She half dragged Albert into the house, leading both boys into the bathroom. 
“Lewis get undressed and into the water.  Albert?  You do the same.”

Albert folded his arms across his chest and shook his head.  He made it very clear
he wasn’t about to get undressed in front of his step-mother.  She started counting
very slowly.  When she reached three, Lewis was sitting in the tub washing himself,
but Albert was still glaring at her.  She reached out and unbuttoned his shirt with
him kicking and screaming and wiggling to get away from her.  “Stop it!  You can’t
take my clothes off!  You’re a girl!”

“Take them off yourself then.  You’re getting in that bathtub, and you’re getting
in there now.”  She folded her arms across her chest to give him a chance to do it
himself.  “One.”  She looked down at Lewis who was staring slack jawed at her battle
with his older brother.  “Two.”  Albert unbuttoned his pants and stepped out of them,
turning his back to her before removing his drawers and jumping into the tub with
his brother.  He kept his hands covering his penis as he looked up at her and glared.

“Get clean.  You have ten minutes, and I’ll be standing outside the bathroom the entire
time.”
  She left the bathroom, but stayed close enough she would be able to hear whatever
they were doing.  She did give them privacy, though.

David came into the house and saw her standing in the hallway outside the bathroom. 
“What are you doing?” he asked as he dipped his head and gave her a quick kiss.

“Having another battle of wills with our eldest son.”
  She looked at him to see how he’d react to the situation.

“Who’s winning?”

“The same person who will always win.  Me.”

David bit back a laugh.  “What’s this one about?”

“Albert convinced the others that catching
a
piglet and giving him a bath was a good idea.  By the time I heard the pig squealing,
the twins had mud oozing out of their diapers and the only things you could see of
their faces were their eyes and mouths.  I told Albert I’d bathe the twins and come
back for him and Lewis.”  She briefly explained how she’d caught Albert as he was
leaning against the corral and forced him to undress.  Her eyes were twinkling as
she said, “He really didn’t want me to see his ‘privates’.”

“I’m sure he didn’t.”  He pointed to the bathroom door.  “He’s in there now?”

“He and Lewis are bathing together.  They have five minutes left.”  She raised her
voice as she said the last three words.  “They’d better have their hair washed before
they come out as well!”

David heard splashing coming from the bathroom to let him know they’d heard and were
obeying.  He caught Susan’s hand and pulled her down the hall.  “I know Albert’s giving
you fits, but he hasn’t obeyed anyone this well since his mother died.”  He leaned
down and kissed her again.  “Thank you for getting the boys under control.”

She sighed.  “The twins are fine.  They do what I tell them to do.  Lewis is afraid
of me, so there’s no problem there.  Albert, though
?
  He thinks I’m going to give up and let him do what he wants if he fights me long
and hard enough.  It’s not going to happen.  If I give in now, I’ll never be the supreme
ruler of this house, and if I’m not the ruler here, then he will be.  And that’s
not
happening.”
 

“He comes to me with complaints about you several times per day.  He keeps telling
me I should have married someone nice who wouldn’t have bossed him around all the
time.”

“And?”  She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him to let him know he’d
better take her side.

“I tell him you’re his mother and he’s going to obey you.”  How would he dare do anything
else?  His little wife was fierce, and he wasn’t willing to fight her about the boys. 
He promised her she could do what she wanted as regards their discipline as long as
she didn’t hit them.  She hadn’t hit them, but she’d sure made a difference in his
household in only two short days.

“Good.  The boys don’t have it in their heads yet that they need to obey me without
question.  Well, that’s not true.  Albert’s the only one who is really still giving
me any trouble.”  She sighed.  “That boy thinks he can out-stubborn me, but he’ll
know better soon.”

David couldn’t help but grin.  “I’m sure he will.”

“I need to go check on them.”  She wandered down the hall to outside the bathroom
door.  “I’m opening this door in one minute.  Cover up with towels if you need to!”

David leaned against the wall and watched to see how she handled things.  She waited
a full minute and then called out, “I’m coming in!” 

Albert screamed as she opened the door.  “I’m not covered up!”

Susan shrugged.  “You had plenty of warning.  Cover up next time.  Both of you need
to get upstairs and get clothes on before lunch.  If you can stay clean for the rest
of the day, I won’t make you bathe before you go to bed tonight.  You have to be clean
for church tomorrow, though.”
  She held the door wide open so the boys could leave when they were ready.

Albert grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist glaring at Susan, before running
from the bathroom and up the stairs.