Mail Order Meddler (8 page)

“Would it be all right if I stayed in town for a while and got to know you?”

Tracy nodded.  “Everyone in town knows where we live.  Just ask around.  I’ll be back on Sunday for church.”  She knew she should be friendlier, but really?  How could she just develop feelings of love for a woman she hadn’t seen since she was a few weeks old?  It wasn’t possible.  She would have to get to know her like any other stranger.

Cecelia nodded, a sad look in her eyes.  Tracy felt as if she’d done something wrong by letting the other woman know her family came first, but she wasn’t certain why.  Surely the woman must understand that she’d had a life in the eighteen years since she’d left her.

They were halfway home before Francis asked the question that Tracy knew he’d been fighting not to ask since they’d left the mercantile.  “Who was that woman?  She looked just like you.”

Tracy sighed.  “
My mother.”  She didn’t explain.  At that moment, she never wanted to have to explain again.

Francis looked at her with shock.  “But…you’re an orphan.”

“She left me on the doorsteps of the orphanage when I was three weeks old, always intending to come back for me, but the time was never right.  She recently married and started looking for me around the time I moved here.”  Tracy kept rubbing her belly, thinking about the baby she carried and wondering how her mother could have left her…for eighteen full years.

“What exactly does she want?”
  Francis’s voice was incredulous, as if he was baffled by Tracy’s mother showing up as well.

Tracy wondered for a moment how much she should tell them.  “She wants me to move to Boston.  She said she can give my baby and me a better life.”

Francis stared straight ahead as he drove.  “What do you think?”

“I think I’m with the only family I’ve ever had.  There’s no way I’m going to go to another state to be with a total stranger.  If she’d wanted to be a part of my life, she should have done it years ago.  Not now.”
  Tracy was afraid she’d sound cold to the younger man, but she wasn’t going to apologize for feeling no emotion toward the mother who left her.

Francis sighed with relief.  He couldn’t imagine how Andy would feel if she left.
  He wasn’t willing to put up with his brother’s bad moods that would surely result in her leaving.  “Does Andy know she’s here?”

Tracy shook her head.  “He knew she sent someone out to find me back in May.”

“May?  This has been going on since May and no one said anything?”  Francis’s voice was filled with anger.  Tracy had never heard any negative emotion from Francis and was more than a little surprised.

“We didn’t want to worry anyone.  I knew as soon as I found out what the man wanted that I wasn’t going anywhere.”
  Tracy explained the decision not to tell them the best way she could.

Francis
still seemed upset that they hadn’t said anything.  “I still think you should have told us.”

Tracy sighed.  “Maybe
we should have.  I didn’t see a need for all of you to worry that I was leaving when there was no way I was going to do it.” 

No more was said the entire way home.  Francis unhitched the team and went in search of Andy. 
He didn’t even carry all their new purchases inside before seeking out his brother as he normally would have done. 

*****

Andy looked up from the fence he was mending to see Francis riding as fast as he could across the range.  He knew he’d taken Tracy and Mattie into town that morning, so he wasn’t sure what was making him so upset. 

Francis stopped in front of him, dismounting in one quick move.  Andy, a good horseman himself, was always envious of Francis’s way with horses.  Andy had all the moves technically right, and did what he was supposed to do, but Francis was a natural.  The things Andy had learned from a young age, Francis had just been able to do with no one teaching him.

“What’s wrong?” Andy asked, his face concerned.  “Is something wrong with Tracy or the baby?”  He couldn’t bear it if something happened to one of them.  It was hard enough losing his parents.  Losing his wife or child would break him.

Francis shook his head.  “Her mother is in town.”

Andy felt all the color drain from his face.  “Her mother came here?  But…she never answered Tracy’s letter.”  Why was she there?  Was she going to try to talk Tracy into leaving with her?  He couldn’t let her go.  He couldn’t!

Francis sighed.  “I didn’t even know that Tracy’s mother had magically appeared.  Why didn’t you tell any of us?”

Andy shook his head.  “We’ll talk about it later.  Is Tracy all right?”  He walked to Francis’s horse and quickly threw himself into the saddle.  Meeting her mother had been so important to her that she’d taken the second rejection hard, even though she’d put on a brave face about it.

“She seems fine.  I don’t know.”

“Take my horse when you’re ready.  Finish the fence.”  Andy rode off toward the house, wanting to check on Tracy.  Had she actually talked to her mother?  Was she upset?

When he got back to the house, he saw the two girls trying to unload the back of the wagon.  Mattie stood in the bed and handed things down to Tracy who made a small pile.  There was no way she could carry it all in herself.  Their food bill had certainly gone up since Tracy had arrived, but he wasn’t complaining one bit.  He hadn’t had a single bite of beef jerky in six months.
  How would they go back to living the way they had before she’d come to them?

Jumping down, he walked over to Tracy, taking her arm.  “Are you all right?  Did you talk to her?”

Tracy nodded.  “Yes, to both things.  I met her and realized she’s like every other stranger in the world to me.  She gave birth to me, yes, but that’s all she ever did.  It was…a strange feeling.”

“What do you mean?”

Tracy tried to figure out how to explain it.  “Well, my whole life I’ve dreamed of what it would be like to meet my mother.  How I would see her and run into her arms and be held tightly.  We would both cry and I would know that she’d always loved me and life just kept her away from me.”

Andy gave a half-smile.  He’d realized very quickly that Tracy was a romantic and got excited over every little thing.  She would work up something in her head to be perfect and everything less tended to disappoint her.  “It wasn’t like that?”

Tracy shook her head.  “I didn’t even know what to say to her.  Or what to call her.  Her name is Cecelia, but calling her Cecelia seems impersonal and rude.  Calling her Mother…it just doesn’t feel right to me.”

Andy stroked Tracy’s cheek.  “You could start with Cecelia then.”

Tracy made a face.  “It sounds so formal.”  She sighed.  “Anyway, I told her I was happy here.  That I have a family for the first time in my life, and I feel loved for the first time ever, and that I couldn’t leave.”

“Good.  I’m glad you stood up to her.”

Tracy bit her lip.  “She said that she could give me servants and the baby and I would never want for anything.  I’d never have to wash a dish again.”  She laughed.  “I have to admit, I like the sound of that part of things.”  Tracy did dishes three times a day without a single complaint, but Andy knew she hated them.

Andy grinned.  “She accepted that you weren’t moving to Boston to be close to her?”

“I think so.  Just as we drove away, she said she’s going to stay in town a while so she can get to know me better.”  Tracy shrugged.  “I guess that’s okay as long as she doesn’t try to pressure me into leaving.”

Andy pulled her close, resting his cheek on top of her head.  “I think it would be go
od for you to get to know her, but I don’t want you leaving.”

Tracy chuckled.  “I’m not going anywhere.  I couldn’t take Mattie away from her brothers.”
  The grin she gave him told him she was teasing him somehow.

He looked at her.  “Mattie?  If you did leave, she’d stay with me.”

“Oh no, she wouldn’t!  That girl is mine now!”  The look of ferocity on Tracy’s face was almost comical.

He laughed.  “You’re not leaving, though, so it doesn’t matter.”

She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.  “I don’t guess I could talk you into helping me unload the wagon since you’re here.”  She was not looking forward to carrying in even half of what they’d purchased, and she knew Andy wouldn’t want her to.  He was very protective of her and the baby.

“I think that’s why Francis came to get me.  He’s tired of lugging your purchases.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t want me lifting anything.”  She patted her belly, now very rounded.

“No, I don’t.”  He pushed her toward the door.  “Go inside while I deal with this stuff.”

Tracy headed into the house to put things away as he carried them inside.  She was glad he’d come home early.  She was holding things together, yes, but she felt like she’d done something terrible with the way she’d talked to her mother. 

When Andy came into the house, she asked, “Are you still planning on
shooting a turkey for Thanksgiving?”

Andy nodded.  “We don’t need it for almost a week, though.”

“I know.  I just want to make sure you haven’t forgotten.”  She paused for a minute watching him.  “How would you feel if I invited my mother to eat with us on Thanksgiving?  She’ll be away from the people she loves on the holiday.”  She both liked and hated the idea of inviting her mother.

Andy frowned.  “I hate the idea, but if it will make you happy, then do it.”

Tracy smiled, walking across the room to hug him tightly.  “Thank you.”  She couldn’t abandon the woman as she’d been abandoned.

He stroked her cheek.  “You’re the one who has to make extra food.”

*****

Tracy fixed Mattie’s hair for church on Sunday morning, carefully arranging the braids she’d formed.  “You look so grown up with your hair that way.  I think I’ll leave the braids down so I can make you stay a little girl.”

Mattie giggled.  “You really think I look grown up with my hair this way?”  She obviously loved the idea of looking older, like most young girls.

“You look at least nine,” Tracy fibbed, trying to conceal her laugh. 

Mattie walked around with her head held a little higher as she finished getting ready to go. 

Tracy walked into the kitchen, completely ready for church.  She was going to have to make herself a couple of new dresses, because she couldn’t let
out the ones she had even another inch.  She walked to the table where Francis and Andy were drinking coffee.  “I’m ready.”

Tracy was surprised her mother hadn’t made the trip out to the ranch yet, but maybe no one had been willing to tell her where the house was.  Or maybe she’d given up and gone back to Boston.  Tracy was surprised by the sadness she felt at the idea of the other woman giving up.
  She wanted her mother to want to have a relationship with her, even if she herself didn’t want one.

She wanted, just for once, for her mother to care about seeing her and work toward it.  She didn’t understand why she didn’t at least visit or write letters over the years. 
Tracy needed to understand what had happened during the years they’d been apart.  For some reason, it mattered more than anything.

“You finally ready?” Andy asked.  He loved to tease her about how long it took her to ready herself for church every week.

Tracy made a face.  “I’m waiting on you.  As usual.”

They made their way out to the wagon.  He’d sent Francis out earlier to hitch up the team, and Tracy had a big bowl of chicken and dumplings in the oven keeping warm.  The dinner rolls she’s made the day before were covered and ready to eat as well.

When they reached the church, Andy helped Tracy down, keeping a casual arm around her waist.  She was happy to have him beside her, especially since she didn’t know when or where her mother would pop up next.  Or if.  There was a big ‘if’ as well.

As soon as they stepped into the church, her mother made a beeline
for her.  “Tracy!” Cecelia called.

Tracy looked up as the older woman grabbed her and hugged her close.  Tracy took a deep breath before pulling away.
  She didn’t feel close enough to her mother to hug her.  It felt strange being grabbed by her that way.  “This is my husband, Andrew Harvey.  Andy, my mother, Cecelia Hebert.”

Andy nodded.  “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Hebert.”

Cecelia looked at Andy for a moment, studying his clothes as if she thought he wasn’t quite good enough for her daughter.  Tracy said nothing, wanting to scream that he had stood by her, no matter how he dressed.  “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

Tracy bit her lip for a moment, wondering if this was the right time to ask.  “I thought maybe you’d like to come out to our house and have Thanksgiving dinner with us.”

Cecelia’s face lit up excitedly.  “I’d love that!  If there were a restaurant in this tiny town, I’d invite you to have dinner with me today.”  She obviously thought that not only was Tracy’s new family lacking, but the town itself was lacking as well.  Would anything be good enough for her baby?