Make-Believe Wife (14 page)

‘This young woman has done wonders for the house already,' he remarked to a gentleman of similar years. ‘I never expected to see such a day and I am truly grateful to her. Clarendon is fortunate to have found her.'

‘I'm sure he knows it,' General Forster said and nodded approvingly. ‘Luke, you must bring Miss Roxanne to dinner soon—and I should be delighted to take you fishing in our lake one day, should you care for it.'

‘Very kind of you, sir,' Luke said and sent a brooding glance at Roxanne. She thought that he was learning to play his part very well. ‘It is a while since I went fishing.'

‘Do you enjoy music, Miss Roxanne?'

She turned to the young man sitting beside her. ‘Yes, Sir James, very much. I fear I am an indifferent pianist, though I am attempting to improve.'

‘Do you sing at all?'

‘Yes, I do,' Roxanne said, recalling some of the performances she'd given when with the players. ‘I enjoy listening to others play and sing. I also enjoy the performance of a play.'

‘Ah yes, I'm fond of the theatre myself.' He beamed at her. ‘You put me in mind of something, Miss Roxanne. I mean no insult when I say that you remind me of an actress I once saw. She was very talented, but just
a provincial actress, not famous at all—however, the likeness is superficial.'

‘I am glad to hear it,' Roxanne said and laughed, hiding the fact that his remark had made her heart beat fast. ‘Tell me, where was she performing?'

‘I hardly remember—an open-air performance, as I recall, at an inn or somewhere like. Do not be offended by the comparison, for I meant none.'

‘I am not offended.' Roxanne smiled as the moment of panic receded. He did not remember her. ‘If the lady was talented there is no reason.'

She had been apprehensive for a moment but she saw there was no need. Even though the young man had undoubtedly seen her performing, he did not dream that Roxanne was the actress he'd watched. He thought the likeness superficial, which indeed it was for she had changed considerably since those days. That girl had been left far behind as she became more confident and sure of her place here.

‘Oh, very talented. I thought she belonged on the London stage. I would have spoken to her about it, but I could not stay until the end of the play.'

‘Roxanne, may I speak with you?'

She stood up as Luke came up to her, nodding her head to her companion and moving aside to the window.

‘You looked slightly disturbed. James was not annoying you?'

‘He wished me not to be offended, but saw a vague likeness in me to an actress he'd once watched performing somewhere.'

‘Ah, I see…' Luke nodded, his gaze intent on her face. ‘You are not distressed?'

‘No, certainly not.' Roxanne lifted her head proudly, every inch the great lady. ‘You wished to speak with me?'

‘I forgot to mention it earlier, but a seamstress is coming down in a couple of days. She has made a gown for the ball for you and will fit it and make any adjustments needed while she is here. I thought you might like her to make a wedding dress for you? We shall buy most of your trousseau in Paris after the wedding—if that suits you?'

‘Of course, if you think it necessary.' Roxanne's heart thudded in her breast, her throat tight suddenly and for no good reason. ‘Your grandfather looks a little tired. If there is nothing more, I shall see if he wishes to retire.'

‘No, nothing more,' Luke replied with a little frown.

‘Then please excuse me for the moment.'

Luke watched as she walked to the earl. The old man listened to what she said to him and then inclined his head. Roxanne gave him her arm and they left the room together. For a moment the earl's face was unguarded and his grandson saw real affection in his eyes as he responded to her caring.

It was evident that a bond had formed between them while he was absent. Luke wasn't sure how he felt about the situation. Roxanne seemed fond of the earl and sure of her place here. For a moment he was irked by the affection between them. Roxanne had found a way past the prickly outer skin the earl had used to shut out
everyone else, including his grandson. Why was he prepared to accept her when he had shown little but indifference towards his own flesh and blood?

Luke ought to be delighted that his plan to make his grandfather's last days happy was working so well and yet once again he had a sense of unease—almost fear. It was ridiculous to feel trapped. He could walk away, go back to London whenever he chose, and yet something was holding him here. It was as if invisible chains bound his limbs and he did not understand his own feelings.

It was not as if the marriage was to be a true one. He felt passion for Roxanne and knew that he would find great pleasure in teaching her the delights of the bedroom—but he was not sure that she felt anything for him.

She was always welcoming, pleasant and amenable to his wishes, but was that what he wanted from her? Was this show of affection and content merely a consummate actress at work? He had made a bargain with her and Roxanne was playing her part all too well.

Luke wasn't sure what he wanted or expected of her—or what he hoped the future might bring. His uncertainty had not improved his mood and he was on edge, moody, anger simmering beneath the surface—but he did not know why he was angry.

 

Roxanne was surprised at how many people had come to wish them well. She had written the invitations to whole families and it seemed that uncles, aunts and cousins had turned out in force. They had been arriv
ing for the past two days and the house was already overflowing. The arrival of neighbours and friends later that night would ensure that the ball was a success.

‘That's a beautiful gown, Miss Roxanne,' the housekeeper observed when she brought up a posy of fragrant lilies the gardener had sent. ‘I think you will be the centre of attention this evening—as you deserve to be, miss.'

‘Thank you, Mrs Arlet,' Roxanne said. ‘Lord Clarendon ordered the gown in London, as you know. He has excellent taste. Those flowers are lovely—did they come from his lordship?'

‘I think it was Minty's idea, miss—though I dare say his lordship asked for flowers suitable for the occasion.'

‘Well, they are delightful,' Roxanne said and the housekeeper left. She glanced at her reflection, thinking that the gown called for an ornament of some kind. Her request to the earl for the loan of some pearls had not been met and she regretted her lack. She was just considering whether she could pin a single flower to her gown when someone knocked. Opening the door, she was surprised to see Luke. ‘Oh…I am nearly ready.'

‘You look beautiful, Roxanne,' he said, staring at her in such a way that her heart fluttered and her mouth was suddenly dry. ‘I brought you a little gift to wear this evening—if it pleases you.'

Luke offered her a black velvet box, which Roxanne took and opened. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the single string of beautiful creamy pearls fastened with a clasp of emeralds and diamonds.

‘Oh, these are beautiful. My maid has gone—would you fasten them for me, please?'

‘Yes, of course.' Luke followed her into the bedchamber. Roxanne lifted her hair and he placed the pearls around her throat, his fingers lingering against the sensitive skin at her nape. ‘The clasp is meant to be at the front.' He turned the necklet, his hand just brushing against her dipping décolletage for an instance.

The dizzying sensation that shot through her at that moment almost took her breath. Roxanne's lips parted on a sigh and she felt a spasm of desire and need so strong that it required all her willpower not to melt into his arms. Just for a moment she wished there was no ball, nothing but Luke and a soft bed where they could lie together.

The sensation was sweet and overpowering, but Roxanne forced herself to remain aloof. To beg for kisses and more would shame her and she had no intention of allowing her feelings to become plain. Luke wanted a business arrangement and that was what she must accept because anything else would end in pain. The last thing Luke wanted or needed was a clinging wife who would love him and make him feel guilty for neglecting her when he returned to the life he enjoyed.

She would be a poor actress if she could not hide her feelings for him, but she must remain outwardly in control. He would hate her to fall in love with him. He had no wish for a clinging wife.

Glancing in the mirror, Roxanne was satisfied that apart from a faint flush in her cheeks she had given no
sign of the intensity of her feelings. She touched the emerald clasp and smiled.

‘How did you know that I longed for such a necklace?' she asked, for all the world without a care as she met his brooding look. ‘The pearls are wonderful, Luke, and the clasp goes so well with my ring.'

‘That was my intention,' he said, a faint smile in his eyes. ‘Grandfather asked me to find something for you in the strong room, but I told him I had my own gift for you.'

‘I see.' Roxanne nodded, because that explained why the earl had not kept his promise. ‘I must thank you so much for my gifts, Luke.' She looked up at him, seeing a blaze of passion that made her tremble. ‘Luke—what are you thinking?'

‘I think we should go down before I am tempted to lock the door and stay here with you instead of entertaining our guests.'

Roxanne's heart pounded. Her stomach clenched with something she instinctively recognised as desire. The look in his eyes was so hot that she could not doubt he felt desire for her, but she was certain that his feelings were no more than that; he wanted her, but love was not something Luke was prepared to give. His touch would make her flesh sing, but love was the forbidden fruit she must not taste.

‘Yes, we must not keep our guests waiting or the earl,' Roxanne said, painting a smile in place as she lifted her head. ‘Our audience awaits, Luke.'

‘A performance? Is that all this is to you, Roxanne?'

‘Of course. What else?' she said. ‘That is what you required of me, as I recall.'

She moved past him into the hall, then turned and waited expectantly. Her composure was perfect, she was ready for the stage.

‘You're a clever actress, Roxanne. I dare say you will have our friends eating out of your hand, just as you have Grandfather. He prides himself on his judgement, but you have him purring like a kitten.'

She felt as if he had pricked at her with long thorns, but kept her smile in place. ‘If I have the ability to make people like me, that is a good thing, is it not?'

‘I think they will love you. Grandfather certainly does.'

Loved by all, but not by you
. The words were in her head, but not spoken aloud.

Lifting her head, she looked into his eyes. ‘His happiness is your main concern, is it not? That is the reason you brought me here?'

‘Yes…' Luke's gaze narrowed. ‘I would not wish to see him hurt, Roxanne.'

‘Then we are of one mind,' she said and took his arm. ‘Come, Luke, need you look so sober? This is meant to be an evening of pleasure for us as well as our guests. You must try to look as if you are enjoying yourself or your friends will wonder.'

‘You are right.' He smiled suddenly and her heart skipped a beat. ‘I have no right to expect more than you wish to give. We shall dance and enjoy ourselves this evening. More serious matters can wait for another day.'

Now what did he mean by that? Roxanne wondered,
but she put the little puzzle from her mind. Tonight she was playing the part of a girl very much in love who was announcing her engagement to the man she loved. It was not a difficult part to play, as long as she did not remember that Luke did not love her.

A
s Roxanne had imagined, the evening was a huge success. The ballroom was decorated with banks of fragrant flowers from the hothouses and reels of white-silk tulle hung in drapes above the dais where the musicians were seated. Sparkling chandeliers threw out showers of light, which were picked up by the glittering jewels worn by both ladies and gentlemen. They had come dressed in their best finery, prepared to enjoy the celebrations, and laughter reverberated through the rooms, the sound of chattering voices almost deafening.

Roxanne soon discovered that she was the centre of attention.

‘To tell the truth I never expected to see this day,' Luke's Uncle Frederick on his father's side told her as he claimed one of the first dances of the evening. ‘I believe Hartingdon had given up all hope of Clarendon ever doing his duty.'

‘Surely not?' Roxanne gave him an amused smile. ‘Luke is not in his dotage, I think?'

‘Good lord, no, he's a young man, but he seemed set in his ways. I always knew it would take an exceptional young woman to catch my nephew and it seems I was right.'

‘Thank you for the compliment,' Roxanne replied mischievously. ‘I shall do my best to live up to what is expected of me.'

‘You'll do very well,' the talkative gentleman said. ‘Beauty and brains, to say nothing of charm. Now that is a combination not often found, Miss Roxanne. Luke is a lucky fellow.'

Since that seemed the consensus of the guests, Roxanne did not find herself left without an admirer at her side all evening. She danced every dance, sipped at, but did not finish, several glasses of champagne brought to her by a string of helpful gentlemen and ate sparingly of the delicious supper that had been provided for them.

‘Where did you meet Clarendon?'

The question had been asked again and again by curious aunts and cousins throughout the evening. Roxanne gave the same reply to all of them.

‘I was staying with a friend and we met by chance when Luke was out riding,' she told them, embroidering the truth only as necessary. ‘We were mutually attracted and liked each other immediately.'

Surely that much was true. Roxanne
had
felt an instant liking for the man she'd helped in the woods, despite his hostility. He'd been angry and in pain at first, but later he'd been grateful for her help. That
meeting seemed so far away now, her life revolving round the earl and his grandson these days. Sometimes she almost forgot that she had ever known another life.

The Roxanne who had lived with a band of travelling players was someone different.
She
was Miss Peters and her father lived and worked in India… The story she'd invented for herself was now so real that she believed it must be the truth.

As far as she understood, Luke's lawyer had heard nothing from the advertisement. Roxanne might never discover whether the ruby was truly hers or the property of another person. Perhaps it was not important. She had become a part of Luke's family, welcomed and accepted amongst them. It did not matter that she could not remember her own family—at least she must try not to let it matter.

She had danced three times with Luke during the evening. Each time it had been a waltz and Roxanne felt as if she had been floating on air, his nearness giving her such pleasure that she felt she could melt into his body. The feeling was so perfect that she knew she could become his lover easily. There would be no hesitation on her part, because already she felt as if she belonged to him, in his bed, in his arms. He had called her a clever actress, but he gave such a convincing display of affection towards his fiancée that Roxanne might have been deceived herself had she not caught a hint of mockery in his smile once or twice. It was as if he were showing her that he, too, could play his part.

What was in his mind? What did that look mean?
Sometimes she thought he was like a cat playing with a bird it had caught in its claws.

 

‘Have you enjoyed this evening?' Luke whispered as the hour grew late. ‘I believe you have charmed all my uncles and my cousins have fallen in love with you. Cousin Horatio is quite eaten up with jealousy, though I am not certain whether he envies me you—or my grandfather's estate, of which he had hopes before you arrived.'

‘Luke…' Roxanne tapped his arm with her fan ‘…that was not well said of you. Mr Harte was charming to me and told me how pleased he was that you'd decided to marry.'

‘Horatio is charming when he wishes to be, Roxanne, but do not be fooled by him. I dare say he is spitting venom in private.'

Roxanne shook her head at him. She had noticed a certain underlying tension between the cousins, but there was often rivalry between gentlemen and she took little notice. Cousin Horatio was one of those staying overnight and she noticed that he was absent for a while towards the end of the ball, reappearing just as the guests that lived locally were leaving.

The earl had gone to his apartments soon after supper, and when there were only a handful of gentlemen left, all of them related and preparing for a last nightcap before seeking their rooms, Roxanne said her farewells.

She went upstairs to her own bedchamber and entered. She'd instructed her maid that she was not to
wait up, because she could manage to unhook herself and would not need assistance. However, when she opened the door and walked in a feeling of shock ran through her. It was immediately obvious that the room had been searched.

The drawers had been pulled out of the chest and the contents scattered on the floor, her underclothes, scarves and gloves scattered in little heaps. The armoire had been opened and dresses pulled from the shelves, as if whoever had been searching had been in a hurry. Yet there was more, a kind of venom, almost as if the mess had been intended to punish and hurt.

Since the only things she had of personal value were her ring and the pearls Luke had given her, which she was wearing, there was nothing much for a thief to steal. The silver pots on the dressing table, which were the earl's property, were still there, though lids had been removed and the contents examined.

Who had been here and caused such upheaval? It did not seem to Roxanne that anything had been taken, but it was obvious that someone had been searching for something in particular. Who would dare to do such a thing when the house was full of guests?

Roxanne trembled, a slither of ice sliding down her spine. It was a most unpleasant feeling to discover that her room had been ransacked in this way. What had the intruder been looking for—was it the ruby?

She hesitated for a moment, wondering what to do for the best. It was too unsettling to sleep in her room like this, but she was unwilling to rouse the servants at this late hour.

Luke ought to be told. Roxanne knew that she must speak to him at once about what had happened here. There might still be an intruder in the house. He would know what to do, because the house ought to be checked. If an outsider had broken in while they were all at the ball, he might be dangerous. Perhaps other guests had had their rooms searched.

Still fully dressed, Roxanne made her way through the halls and up a short flight of stairs to the wing where Luke had his rooms. Would he have come up yet or was he still downstairs, taking a last drink with his cousins?

She tapped at his door and after a short pause, during which Roxanne wondered what to do if he were not there, Luke opened his door. He was still dressed in his breeches and shirt, but he'd taken off his coat and neckcloth and his feet were bare.

‘Roxanne—what are you doing here at this hour?'

‘May I speak to you, please?'

‘Of course, come in,' Luke said, then took her arm and drew her inside his sitting room. It was furnished with two leather elbow chairs, a bookcase and a writing table and chair; there was also a collection of paintings of horses, also two bronze figures holding torches aloft, which held lighted candles.

‘I am sorry to disturb you, but I did not know what else to do—my rooms have been ransacked.'

‘What?' Luke looked startled. ‘Your rooms—was anything valuable taken?'

‘I was wearing the only items of jewellery I possess,
but the silver pots on the dressing table are all there and they have been opened.'

‘Someone was searching for something they did not find.' Luke's brow creased. ‘Do you suppose it was the ruby?'

‘Yes, perhaps it was,' Roxanne said. ‘Whoever it was must have taken the opportunity to search while we were all dancing. I suppose there were so many people about that he was able to slip in without being noticed.'

‘Yes, I imagine it must have seemed a good opportunity.' His gaze narrowed. ‘You saw no one—you are not harmed?'

‘I saw no one and I am not harmed—but I felt uneasy and wondered whether to call my maid to tidy the room or sleep elsewhere this evening.'

‘You must stay here for now,' Luke said. ‘I shall put on my boots and check your rooms and the downstairs rooms also, Roxanne. I want to make sure the windows and doors are locked, though I prefer not to rouse the guests or Grandfather. I do not wish to disturb him.'

‘No, of course you must not,' Roxanne agreed. ‘I was not certain what to do, but I hope no one else need know about this unfortunate incident.'

‘Mrs Arlet must be told and the servants will know, but it is best if the guests do not learn of this—unless any of them have suffered something similar.'

‘Had they done so, I'm sure someone would have told you,' Roxanne said. ‘I think it was just my room, Luke—and I believe it must be because of that ruby.'

Luke had sat down to pull his boots on. He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, then inclined his head.

‘It seems the most likely explanation. Unless Horatio wanted to see what he could find to discredit you. He knows what he has lost because we are to wed and he was absent for a time this evening.' He saw her look. ‘You don't believe it was him. Well, you may be right. Stay here, Roxanne, and lock the door behind me. I shall take a look at your room and make a tour of the house. When I return we'll talk about this again.'

‘Yes, of course. Please take care, Luke. I would not have you come to harm for the sake of that wretched jewel.'

‘I shall be perfectly safe. Whoever wants that ruby seems not to mean harm to either of us. There has been plenty of time for him to attack me had he wished it. No, it is the jewel he wants for some reason best known to himself.'

Roxanne went to the door with him and he locked it after he went out. She chose one of the elbow chairs and sat down, but could not rest. As she paced about the room, the minutes dragged by and, when Luke did not return after more than half an hour, Roxanne went into his bedchamber. Luke was not particularly tidy and she noticed discarded neckcloths and a dressing gown lying abandoned over a chair. She sat on the edge of the bed, then laid down, resting her head on a pillow that smelled faintly of the cologne he sometimes wore. Lying with her knees pulled up to her chest, she closed her eyes.

 

Movement close by woke Roxanne and she opened her eyes and then sat up as she saw Luke standing there looking at her.

‘Is all safe?' she asked, her heart pounding.

‘I discovered a window catch in the library that was loose and I believe that may have been how our intruder got in. There was a smear of earth on the window-sill and what may have been a footmark. I think our intruder was bare-footed.'

‘He wore no shoes?' Roxanne frowned. ‘I remember that Sofia told me shoes are not worn in the house in India. The face at the window in the tower might have been Indian—it all seems to point to the ruby, do you not think so?'

‘Yes, it would seem the jewel is important to someone,' Luke agreed. ‘I wish whoever it is would just ask for the damned thing. My concern is for your sake, Roxanne. If he becomes frustrated, he may attack you…'

Roxanne got to her feet. She shivered, feeling chilled and uneasy.

‘I'm sorry to have caused you so much trouble. I wish I could remember what happened…why I had the ruby…' A tear spilled from the corner of her eye. ‘Who am I, Luke? Am I a thief? Why did I have that ruby? I wish I could remember.'

‘Don't cry, dearest,' Luke said softly. He reached out and wiped away the tear with his fingertips. ‘You mustn't be upset over this. I'm here. I shall protect you, Roxanne.'

‘But why is all this hap—' She got no further for Luke's arms were about her. He drew her close to his body, his head bent towards hers, his mouth covering hers in a kiss so hungry and intense that all else fled from her mind. Roxanne's arms folded about his neck, her fingers reaching into his hair at the nape as the kiss deepened between them. Then Luke was lifting her in his arms, carrying her back to the bed. He placed her amongst the covers and lay down beside her, gazing into her eyes.

‘I want you so much,' he whispered passionately against her ear. ‘I've wanted you from the moment I first saw you, Roxanne. You are so beautiful and you're mine. I swear that no one shall harm you. I will protect you with my life. You must never be afraid while I am with you.'

‘Luke…' she whispered hoarsely. ‘Luke, hold me, love me. I want you, too. I love you…'

As soon as the words left her lips Roxanne regretted them. She had not meant to say the one thing she knew he would not want to hear, but her feelings had rushed to the forefront because of her distress and the words had slipped out. She thought that for a moment he stilled, as if he would withdraw from her, but then he was kissing her again, hungrily, passionately, as if his need was as great as her own.

Giving herself up to desire, Roxanne responded to Luke's loving with an equal passion of her own. She had never known that such feelings lay within her, waiting to burst forth in a torrent of need and hunger. All the years of not knowing who or what she was, all the
pain, uncertainty and fear, the need to be loved came out of her in a frenzy of wanting and loving. His hands were gentle but firm as they explored her body, seeking out the secret places of her femininity, touching her where no one else had touched her, bringing her sweet pleasure. Her hands moved over his arms, his back, following the firmness of his shoulders and the honed muscles, moving over skin that was now naked and slicked with sweat as their bodies came together in sweet ecstasy. His throbbing manhood sought entry and she felt pain, but then the pain was forgotten in the sweet pleasure of his kisses.