Make-Believe Wife (18 page)

‘It is my fault. My fault entirely,' Luke said. ‘Forgive me for hurting you like this, sir. I know you care for Roxanne. I was abominably rude to her and I said things I did not mean in temper.'

‘She said we were very alike,' the earl grunted. ‘I can imagine what you said, what you thought. You're a damned fool, Luke. You've thrown away your chance of happiness, boy. Couldn't you see that she was perfect for you? She loved you.'

‘I know, at least I thought…' Luke caught his breath as the pain knifed through him. ‘It was fear of her love that made me cruel, sir. I didn't want to do to her what my father did to my mother. I was afraid of hurting her, of breaking her fine spirit—and I've done just that, haven't I?'

‘Your mother should never have married,' the earl said. ‘I loved her, but she was a foolish silly girl and your father needed a woman with passion in her bones to help him forget. I should never have pushed them into marriage.'

Luke's brows knit in a frown. ‘Help him forget—what? I do not understand you, sir.'

‘Your father married on the rebound, Luke. As a young man he was very much in love. Your mother liked him when they first met at a society ball, but he didn't look at her that night. He was in love with Helene Digby, the woman he planned to wed, but she died of a sudden and terrible fever. I believe your father was with her, held her in his arms as she died. He never truly recovered from her death. A love like that comes but once in a lifetime.'

‘My father was in love like that—really, deeply in love? I thought him a shallow fellow given to affairs and not capable of love.' Luke stared in disbelief, his memories in disarray.

‘He loved too deeply, that was his trouble,' the earl said. ‘When I coerced him into marrying my daughter he told me that he couldn't love her. I thought it an ideal marriage for my silly girl. She would live here with me, give me an heir for the estate, and her husband would go his own way. My silly Sarah couldn't let him go. She didn't truly enjoy the physical side of marriage, but she wanted a romantic husband to fuss over her and bring her presents. Clarendon wasn't that kind of man. If she'd had passion in her, she might have held him, but she didn't and so he broke her heart with his affairs. She should have let him go, been content with what she had, but she demanded too much of him.'

‘Good grief.' Luke sat down heavily, his legs going weak as the shock went through him. ‘I had no idea. All these years I've thought…'

‘You thought you were shallow and worthless and I let you believe it. Instead of appreciating your qualities, I drove you away, blaming you for what your father did to my silly girl. It wasn't his fault and it certainly wasn't yours, Luke. I don't believe you take after either of them. You're like me—Roxanne knew it instinctively and she loved us both.'

It was like a light breaking over him, the realisation that he loved Roxanne with all his heart. Tortured by his memories that were false and seen through the eyes of a child, who did not understand what was happening between his parents, he had fought against his love for her. When he realised there was no longer a reason to hold her to her promise, he had lashed out in fear and despair, driving her away.

What had he done? All he had ever secretly longed for and needed had been within his grasp and he had thrown it away.

‘I am a crass fool and I have to pray that she will forgive me.'

‘She might if you can find her,' the earl said and frowned. ‘You rode to the village and enquired, but no one had seen her?'

‘One of the gardeners thought he saw her in the lane that leads to the meadow where the cows are. If she'd crossed that, she would have come out on the high road and followed the signs to the east, but there is also the wood and if she took that route she might end up on the road north.'

‘Where would she go?'

Luke moved his shoulders negatively. ‘She was heading for London when I first met her…'

‘You must find her,' the earl said urgently. ‘Don't blame yourself for the whole, Luke. I made her promise not to tell you that I knew the truth. I am as much to blame as you are in this.'

‘No, sir. Roxanne certainly didn't run away from
you
. I'm the one that hurt her. I intend to find her, however long it takes me, and when I do I shall beg her to return, but it may be too late. Some things are unforgivable and, in truth, I do not deserve her forgiveness.'

‘I think she may give it,' the earl said and smiled at him. ‘You haven't yet realised how lucky you are, Luke. Roxanne is a wonderful and very loving person. You must find her because if you do not you'll regret it for the rest of your life.'

‘Yes, I know,' Luke said. ‘I think I must travel to London. Will you forgive me for leaving you at such a time?'

‘I'm not going to die just yet, boy,' the earl said. ‘Find Roxanne and bring her back for all our sakes.'

Luke smiled oddly. ‘I promise I shall leave no stone unturned, sir, but for the moment it seems that she has disappeared into thin air.'

‘That isn't possible, Luke. Roxanne was on foot. It would have taken her hours to walk anywhere.'

‘Unless…' Luke shook his head. He would not distress the earl yet by suggesting that she might have been kidnapped. Somehow Roxanne had avoided detection, but he would find her if it took him the rest of his life.

R
oxanne stirred and moaned, turning her head on the soft pillow. She was dreaming and tears were on her cheeks as she cried out, ‘Mama, please don't leave us. Papa, why must she die? I want Mama, I want my mother…'

‘Your mother is dying of a fever. Her heart is not strong enough to fight it. You should blame me, child. I should never have brought you both out here to this dreadful climate. It is my fault, but you shall not fall victim to this accursed place, as she did. I shall take you home to your aunt.'

‘Mama…please don't leave us. Mama…'

‘Hush, memsahib,' a soft voice said and gentle hands stroked her brow. ‘You are ill, but you will be better soon.'

‘Mama is dying…' Roxanne's eyes flicked opened and she saw a face, the face of her nurse. The Indian
woman was kind and loving and she was comforted. ‘Mama is so ill.'

‘That was long ago, little one. Rest now and when you wake you will be well again.'

Roxanne closed her eyes as the soft hands stroked her forehead and she smelled the exotic perfume of flowers and spices.

The dream was changing. She was in a different place and someone was saying she must die. Now she was lost…running from something…someone. Her uncle wanted her father's ruby, the precious jewel Papa had asked her to keep for him until he returned from India. Her uncle had demanded that she give it to him, telling her that she could not look after it properly.

‘No…' she cried out. ‘Please help me. He will kill me…he wants Papa's ruby.'

A cool dark hand touched her brow and a woman's beautiful, dusky-skinned face appeared through the mist for a moment.

‘Do not fret, little mistress,' the woman's soft musical voice soothed her. ‘You are safe now. My lord is angry they hurt you so. He will not let more harm come to you. Rest now and sleep.'

‘My uncle…he wants the ruby,' Roxanne moaned, her eyelids fluttering as the words came tumbling out. She clutched at the bedclothes with restless hands. ‘My aunt said she would steal it while I slept, but he said it would be best if I were dead. He says they will tell my father I died of a fever and the ruby was lost. I must get away…I must get away…'

‘Hush, little one. You are safe now.'

‘No…Luke, I want Luke…' Roxanne's cheeks were wet with tears as the fever raged through her. ‘Please, ask him to come to me. I need him so…' She was sobbing, tossing restlessly on the pillow, her long hair damp and clinging to her forehead.

‘The memsahib is very ill,' another voice said. ‘Those fools hit her too hard. If she dies, the lord will be angry and he will punish them harshly. She must drink this medicine; it may ease her. She must live or all will be lost. Without her to help us, the ruby may never be recovered and our people will continue to suffer.'

‘Give me the cup,' the woman's soft voice said. ‘I will get her to swallow your potion, honourable doctor, but she is wandering in her mind and she may not remember where the ruby is or even her own name.'

‘It is in the hands of the gods,' the doctor said. ‘I shall pray for her life, for if she gives back what was stolen our people may prosper again.'

‘Help me…' Roxanne cried. ‘Sofia…help me. Papa, why do you not come back to me? I need you…I need you so.'

‘Drink this and it will ease you.' The woman's soft voice was close to her ear and gentle hands stroked her face.

Roxanne gave a cry of fear. ‘They are searching for me. I'm so hungry and thirsty. I want Papa…if they find me they will kill me.'

‘No one will kill you. You are going to get well and strong again.'

‘Sofia, please don't leave me, don't die. I shall be so
alone…' Roxanne sat up, her eyes wide open. ‘Luke! Please don't hate me. I love you. I love you.'

‘Hush then, the medicine will work soon.'

The soothing hands were stroking her brow, helping her to relax. Roxanne knew there was something she must do or say, but she was sinking back into the darkness and a strange lassitude was binding her limbs and her mind. She fell back against the pillows, her eyes closed.

‘She will sleep now,' the doctor said. ‘We must pray that the fever will leave her and when she wakes she will tell us what we need to know.'

Roxanne felt that she was dying and feared she would never see Luke again. The words she wanted to say were in her mind, but would not come. She was slipping away, away into a deep dark place. For a moment everything had been so clear, but the drug claimed her senses and she slept.

 

‘She has not been seen in the village and she did not board the stage for London. The coachman and ostlers were quite adamant that they had not seen her. I do not know where to look next.' Luke ran his fingers through his thick hair in frustration. There was a shadow of beard on his chin and his clothes were less than immaculate. ‘Where could she have gone?'

‘She must either have been picked up by a carter or she has walked in another direction,' the earl said, looking at Luke in concern. He'd hardly slept for the past week, spending every daylight hour out riding or walking in the hope of discovering Roxanne's where
abouts. ‘She cannot have gone very far on foot, Luke. Perhaps she has found work somewhere, in an inn or a farmhouse.'

‘She would not?' Luke stared at him in horror. ‘I think she had very little money. I gave her jewels, but she left them behind. She is proud and independent and would take nothing we had given her.' He sank down onto a chair, a look of despair on his face. ‘What can I do, Grandfather?'

‘You cannot give up yet,' his grandfather said. ‘She must be somewhere, either hiding or working.'

‘Unless…' Luke held back the fears that haunted him night and day.

‘What?' The earl's brows met in a frown. ‘You are hiding something from me, Luke. Tell me the truth or I shall worry more.'

‘Someone has been searching for that damned ruby. I don't know why, but it is important and these people might do anything to recover it.'

‘But she no longer has it. You placed it in a bank in London.'

‘The men who want it may not know that—they may think Roxanne has it or that, if they hold her captive, we shall give it back to them.'

The earl looked at him in horror. ‘You think she might have been kidnapped?'

‘I don't know,' Luke said honestly. ‘No one has seen her, but one man did tell me that a closed carriage was seen in the lane near the woods on the day Roxanne disappeared. It is possible that she might have been abducted.'

‘Surely we should have been sent a ransom note? They must know she does not have the ruby by now.'

‘Perhaps.' Luke shook his head. ‘I think I shall search again in that direction. I will ask at the inns and farms, too, anywhere that she might have enquired for work. She must be somewhere and I intend to find her.'

‘Yes, you must.' The earl looked anxious. ‘If she was kidnapped her life may be in danger, Luke. We shall offer a reward for her return.'

‘Yes, I'll arrange it before I leave. I may be gone for a while—you will be all right here alone?'

‘I have Marshall and a house full of servants,' the earl grunted. ‘I'm not about to die on you, Luke. Get out there and find our girl or neither of us will know a moment's peace again.'

 

Roxanne's eyelids fluttered and her eyes opened. She looked up at the woman bending over her. Her perfume was deep and sensual and it had become familiar as Roxanne lay in her fever, because the woman had tended her day and night, caring for her when she was raving and out of her mind.

She had thought when she was ill that she was her ayah and that she was a child again, growing up in India with her tall strong father and her sickly mother, but now she knew the woman was a stranger.

‘Who are you?' she asked, her voice cracked and hoarse. ‘Where am I?'

‘My name is Shulie,' the woman smiled down at her
as she eased herself up against the pillows. ‘You are at the house of my husband, Prince Ranjit.'

‘Prince Ranjit…' Roxanne wrinkled her brow in thought, trying to remember. ‘I think…I believe I used to know a Prince Ranjit. We played together in the gardens of the palace in India. My father…my father was the prince's tutor.'

Suddenly, it was as if a curtain had been pulled aside and she remembered everything: her life as a child in India and what had happened when her father had taken her to his sister's home and left her in her aunt's charge while he returned to his work.

‘My lord has told me that you were his friend,' Shulie said and smiled at her. ‘I am my lord's first bride and he trusts me. He gave me the honour of caring for you when you were ill.'

‘I was ill? What happened to me?' Roxanne frowned and then gave a little cry. ‘I was in the woods and someone hit me on the back of the head.'

‘The prince was very angry that you were harmed,' Shulie told her. ‘You must not think that he wanted you to be hurt, memsahib. He remembers his playmate Rose Marie very well and he did not believe that you would withhold the ruby if you knew its importance to our people.'

‘That will do, Shulie.'

The man's voice made both women glance towards the door. A man of perhaps five and twenty, dressed in rich clothes and wearing a purple-silk turban with a magnificent diamond in its folds, was stand
ing there, watching them. Shulie fell to her knees, bowing her head.

‘Forgive me, my lord. I only wished to reassure the memsahib that she was with friends.'

‘So, you have returned to us,' the man said and moved towards the bed. His dark eyes went over her. ‘You look better, but I see that you are still not truly well. Shulie will continue to care for you and we shall talk when you are better.'

‘Is it the ruby you seek?' Roxanne asked, holding the sheets against her defensively as she looked at him. This man was very different to the thin and gangly young prince she'd known and admired as a child. ‘How is your family, sir?'

‘My father is sick and we fear his death. Before he dies he wishes to see the eye returned to its rightful place.'

‘The eye?' Roxanne was puzzled. ‘I fear I do not understand, sir.'

‘You may think of it as merely a ruby, but to others it is a sacred thing—but I shall tell you the whole story when you are able to leave your bed.' He turned to Shulie. ‘Bring Miss Rose Marie clean clothes and food. She is to be told nothing more until she is able to hear the story from me.'

‘Yes, my lord.'

Shulie approached the bed as the prince left the room. ‘My lord has spoken. Please do not ask questions, for I may not answer them. I shall bring food, water for you to wash and clothes. You will feel much better when you have eaten.'

‘Please, one thing,' Roxanne said. ‘How long have I been here?'

‘You lay in a fever for ten days,' Shulie said. ‘We feared you might die, but the honourable doctor has saved you. It was the will of the gods.'

‘Yes, perhaps,' Roxanne said. She lay back against the pillows, closing her eyes as the woman left the room. Ten days. She'd been here ten days—but what had happened just before she was brought here? Someone had hit her on the head, knocking her unconscious—but where had she been and where had she been going?

She could recall running away from her aunt and uncle just before her fifteenth birthday. Her father had written to tell her he would be home before Christmas and would be taking her to live with him.

I've made my fortune here, Rose Marie,
he'd written
. It is time I came back to England to live and made a home for us both. The ruby will be the icing on the cake, though I have other jewels and money enough. Take good care of it, Rosie my love, for it is special.

It was two days after her letter arrived that she'd heard her uncle telling her aunt what he planned for her as she went down to have afternoon tea.

‘She is old enough. He wants her and when he's done with her he'll put her to work for her living. She'll not last long enough for her father to find her. If she doesn't die of the whore's disease, she'll be beaten to death.'

‘Frank, you cannot do it,'
her aunt had protested
. ‘Rose Marie doesn't deserve to be treated that way.'

‘She should have given me the ruby when I asked her. It's either the whorehouse or the river—make up
your mind. My debts must be paid and that ruby will see us in comfort for the rest of our lives.'

The past was so clear now. Her name was Rose Marie Pearson and her father's name was Captain Peter Pearson. He'd been an Indian Army officer and then left the service to work for a rich maharajah, first to train his private army and then to teach his sons how to be gentlemen.

When her gentle mother died of a fever, her father had sent her home to live with her aunt and uncle. He'd sent the ruby to her a year or so later with a special messenger he trusted. She had been so proud of being trusted to care for the jewel, but her aunt had seen her admiring it and demanded to know where it came from.

‘Papa sent it to me. He told me to take great care of it, because it is worth a small fortune.'

‘It is far too valuable to entrust to a young girl. Your father meant me to look after it for you, Rosie.'

‘No, Aunt. Papa told me to wear it inside my gown always and never be parted from it. If he'd wanted you to care for it, he would have sent it to you. He trusted me, not you and my uncle.'

‘How dare you speak to me that way?'

‘The ruby is mine. I shall not give it to you or anyone.'

Even then, Rose Marie had not trusted her aunt and uncle. They had called her Rosie and she had disliked the name, but they had said her own was too fanciful. She'd known instinctively that if they once had the ruby they would keep it, but she had not dreamed they
would kill her to get it. She'd run from them that very moment, clutching the ruby and in fear of her life.