Make Me Stay (11 page)

“I haven’t punched anyone in a while. Maybe I should go back out there,” Trent said, cracking his knuckles.

“What are you guys talking about?” I finally asked, since I couldn’t for the life of me figure it out.

“Dude, it’s Kitty,” Reece said.

“What about her?”

“When we came in from outside, we...well, we’re pretty sure she was fucking Nate Rodg--”

JJ couldn’t even finish his sentence before I was up and out of my chair. The music had started and people were dancing. I made my way around them, determined to get out back and fucking punch that asshole in the face. If I couldn’t have Kitty, then no one was. I got all the way to the door when I ran into Caroline.

“Jesus, Kane! You scared the shit out of me,” she said, clutching at her chest.

“Nate Rodgers! You’re shitting me right?” I watched as her jovial smile was replaced with irritation. “Not four hours ago, you tell me you can’t even kiss me, and I got to hear it from the guys that they saw you fucking Nate Rodgers out back!”

Grabbing my arm, she pulled me back outside.

Once there she dropped my arm. “Jesus, Kitty.” I cringed as I kept walking. I needed to put some space between us. I was frustrated as fuck! I spun back around and saw her standing there like she didn't know what the hell was going on. “Did you? Did you fuck him?”

I’d walked all the way to the other side of the patio, but I still saw the disgust and anger on her face before she stomped her feet in my direction. “No, Kane. Not that it’s any of your business, but no I didn’t
fuck
him. Will you quiet down?”

Relief washed over me.
Why did I care so much? I shouldn’t care this much
.

Nate was a regular, but ever since the first night he came and talked with Caroline, he was always hanging around, waiting for her to come talk, looming around out back. I guess I underestimated him.

“Good.”

“Good? Kane, I don’t know what you think this is, but if I want to fuck Nate as you so blatantly put it, I’m going to fuck Nate. I’m human, I get horny, and if he’s willing, it’s going to happen. There isn’t a damn thing you can do about it to stop me. You don’t see me running after you every night, while you suck face with every Heather, Jane, and Sally.”

She had a point.

“A little heads up would be nice. I just told you I’d give up all that for you. You think I wouldn’t care if someone was fucking you in a parking lot? You’re fucking insane. I’m fucking insane for ever thinking you were worth it. Fuck who you want, Kitty, ’cause I sure am.”

I was furious. Nope, I was beyond furious, if there even was such a thing.

“Kane, stop being so dramatic.”

I had walked away from her, even farther, to the edge of the parking lot that backed up to the woods.

“You okay, Kitty?” Trent asked, walking up next to her.

I turned around to see not only Trent, but the rest of the guys surrounding her. She didn’t look at them, her eyes were fixed on mine, and, for a split second, I saw the girl that I had laid down in her bed that first night. The girl who could see me, see through the rock star, the playboy, the asshole. She was seeing me, Kane Lawson.

CHAPTER 19

Caroline

I see him, right now I see Kane Lawson
. Not the wanna be rock star, the playboy or the pain in my ass. Just like that first night when he carried me to bed, I saw him, nervous and kind. Tonight he was honoring my virtue, as absurd as that sounded. He was being vulnerable for the second time tonight. It had taken everything in me to walk away and say the things I had said up in my room. Thanks to his smart-ass mouth, I was able to get back in the right frame of mind. The frame of mind that avoided the type of feelings that Kane was bringing to the surface. Hearing him say he’d give up his lifestyle for me, that’s not what I wanted, but was it romantic as hell?
Yes
.
Did he have me rethinking everything? Fuck, yes.
But I didn’t want him to be remorseful of having to give up a part of himself. That’s what happened with my parents, and I would not make the same mistakes.

I was not turning into her. I was not going to let that happen. I cared too much about my dad and myself to let that happen. She was weak, and I’d be damned if I was going to walk down that path. I was a strong, independent woman. I’d keep fighting these feeling I had for Kane, because I knew that, in the end, neither one of us was going to be happy. I just needed to keep telling myself that.

“Kitty?” Trent said, pulling me out of my own thoughts. I turned and looked up into his brown eyes, as he held on to my shoulder. “You okay?” he asked again.

“She’s fine,” Kane said, walking up behind us. “She just had a lapse in judgment, realized that Nate wasn’t the man she thought he was. Game on, boys, Kitty’s frisky and looking for a tomcat to play with.”

There it was, typical asshole Kane.

“Kane’s right, Trent,” I said, looking up at him, “Tonight’s your lucky night. I’m giving out kisses for free.” I grabbed a fist full of his shirt and pulled his large frame down, pressing my lips against his. I gave him one hell of a kiss, a kiss I knew he’d been dreaming about.

The loud hoots and hollers came from all the guys, except Kane. I wanted there to be something behind that kiss, just like I wanted there to be something behind the kiss I had with Nate, but there was nothing. This was usually good. This meant I could shag ’em and leave ’em. Sure, it was a nice kiss, but there wasn’t a spark, or sense of future, like the one I had with Kane. It was just a kiss. I was glad, but this only made things worse, because kissing Kane and having the feelings I did, just justified that I needed to stay away, and deep down I didn’t want to stay away. I was going to have to endure lack-luster kisses for the rest of my life.
Fuck you, Kane Lawson!

“Well,” I said, after pulling back from Trent and fixing my hair by tossing it around. “I have to get back to work. See you guys later.” Before I turned to walk back to the bar, I smiled and winked at Kane, only to see that wicked grin of his spread across his face as he shook his head, chuckling.
Good, he doesn’t hate me
.

I could live with our banter, but I’d be lying if I said it wouldn’t bother me if he hated me.

“Dude, I saw her tongue in your mouth!” I heard Reece say, as I walked back through the door.

As much as they were a pain in my ass, I loved One Night Stand.

***

Another month went by and summer was here in full force. It was the Fourth of July weekend and the county fair was in full swing. I was currently helping my dad carry boxes to the tent that was set up for the bar, away from the bar. Friday night and as always the boys were slated to play, but not at BJ’s. The fair had a huge stage. While my father and a couple of the other girls helped unpack, the boys were busy setting up for their big concert. They were the closing act to the fair and the whole town was on edge, getting ready for the hundreds--hell, maybe even thousands of people who would be coming to see them. Roads had been blocked and extra security had been called in. I was told by my father that last year they only got two songs off before people started going crazy. Hence, all the security and refurbished stage.

Things had gone back to normal, as normal as they could get. Since I had kissed Trent, I had also made the mistake of kissing Aiden and god help me my lips touched Reece’s too that night. So I might have only kissed Reece to piss Kane off because he kept deliberately palming Chloe’s ass, and I knew he was doing it on purpose, because he wouldn’t even touch her unless I was looking. Either way, I hadn’t been able to live it down since.

I was keeping my distance from Kane and he was doing the same. I made sure not to put myself in a situation where we were left alone, simply because I didn’t trust myself.

Things with Nate took a step up, after I had kissed him the night Fallen had come to play at the bar. He was sweet and I didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t going to go anywhere, but he was a good kisser, and if I couldn’t have Kane, I guessed I’d have to settle for Nate. He was meeting me later on in the evening.

I had stopped moving boxes and leaned over the impromptu bar we had set up. Resting my elbows on the laminate bar and propping my head up on my hands, I guiltily watched the boys practice for tonight.

Kane had jeans on, with a black tee, and his hair was a sexy mess. His guitar was slung over his body, the beautiful red color glistened when the sun hit it. He was going to break so many hearts once they made it big, and I was going to be able to say that I had spent a whole summer with him. My future friends wouldn’t believe me, but I’d know the truth.

“I told you, they’d grow on you,” my father said, leaning next to me.

“Yeah, they’re pretty great,” I said, smiling at him.

“I know it’s none of my business, but I see the way he looks at you,” My father added, nodding at Kane.

He can’t be serious. “Dad, I--it’s not like that,” I said, trying to play it off.

“Caroline, I’m not dumb. I know you have commitment issues. You’ve never introduced me to any of your boyfriends, and you never talk about a future, getting married, or having kids. I know you don’t want to be like your mother. You can still have all that if--”

I cut him off quickly. I didn’t want to hear this.

“Dad, I’m fine, that’s not the kind of future I want. Not everyone wants the big house, white picket fence, and 2.5 kids.” I hated lying to him, I did want those things. I was just terrified I’d end up like her. He was absolutely right.

That man up on stage was the first person to ever make me really want those things since my mother died. Catching my eye, he kept his on me as his fingers skillfully worked the strings on his guitar. We were far away from the stage, but I could see the way his muscles moved in his arms, as if he was standing right in front of me.

“Kane’s a good guy. I wouldn’t be upset if you two--”

“Dad!” I said, breaking eye contact with Kane. “You’re really giving me your blessing to get it on with Kane, the same Kane that you watch leave every other night with a different girl. You been drinking top shelf again before work?”

A loud, haughty laugh left my father as he patted my back. “Oh, Caroline, haven’t you noticed, he hasn’t left with anyone in a long time? I know because I have to kick the girls out of the bar when he leaves without them.”

I didn’t believe it. There was no way he’d kept it in his pants that long. Not Kane, the self-proclaimed playboy, who had a different girl for every day of the week. I glanced back up at the stage as he began singing one of their slow songs. Holding the microphone in one hand, while the other held the stand, he looked at me again then closed his eyes as he sang.

Why does he have to be so sexy up there?

Kissing my wild hair my dad whispered, “Give him a chance.”

CHAPTER 20

Kane

I sat backstage, which was actually a backstage and not a parking lot. The crowd was so loud it felt like the walls were shaking. This was going to be the biggest venue we had ever performed at. After last year, the county had upped their game, demolishing the old rickety stage and putting in a brand new one. It was huge, had lights and an amazing sound system. I knew that they didn’t do it just because of us. They were hoping to have bigger-named acts come and perform there.

“We’re gonna get fucked up after this show tonight! I don’t want to be able to walk tomorrow,” Reece said, banging his drumsticks on the back of his chair.

The room that we were in was a moderate size. We had water and snacks. There were two couches, a few chairs, and a bathroom around the corner.
I could get use to this.

“Did you see Kitty while we were practicing? She looked fucking hot in that dress,” Aiden added.

I couldn’t disagree with that. She had a sundress on that didn’t have a back, which meant she didn’t have a bra on, which meant, side boob, and a lot of it. It was tight up top then flowed softly down around her legs. Her wild, long curls were down and blowing in the hot July air. I couldn’t stop looking at her while we practiced earlier.

I hated that I hadn’t been able to...perform, since the incident in her room. It was as if ever since I said that I’d give up other women, my dick was on strike until it got what it wanted--her. I tried that night to bang Chloe, but nothing, I blamed it on being drunk and dead-dog tired, but I knew the real reason.
Fucking Kitty had ruined me!
I was close to getting a prescription for Viagra. Yes, it was that bad.

It was also painfully obvious that she was avoiding me. So I gave her space, watched her from afar. But every night was the same. I’d dream about her on top of me, her long curls falling around my face, her smile, everything. I’d dream about it all and have to wake up and take a cold-ass shower or attempt to rub one out, but it never worked. I’d fucking get a cramp from trying so hard, I’d always end up under the ice cold water.

***

This is amazing.
There was a sea of people cheering for us as we walked out on stage. A thousand or so for sure, all screaming for us.
Yeah, I can get use to this
. To the side of the stage and up the hill, there were people sitting on blankets, but to the front of the stage, no one was sitting and everyone was pushed up against the railing that separated the stage from the crowd. There was enough room between the two for a bunch of guys in “security” shirts to stand. I looked to my right at the people sitting on blankets, and fuck if my eye didn’t go straight to Kitty, who was huddled up next to Nate fucking Rodgers. I really hated that guy. I didn’t know why I just got a weird vibe from him, always had. Something about a cop just gave me the willies.

The whole hour and a half that we played, the screaming never stopped. It had died down while we flirted with the crowd and introduced ourselves, but other than that, I was surprised people could even hear us. We were getting ready to leave the stage, when I glanced over at Caroline, for the millionth time. She was gazing up at Nate, while he said something to her. His hand cupped her face, and his lips found hers in a tender kiss. She wrapped her hand around the arm that was holding her face and kissed him back.