Making It Through (17 page)

It was Sunday afternoon when I realized that my phone hadn’t dinged with any messages from Max. My heart sank. Had he given up? Such a stupid thought, considering my attempts to avoid him.

I tried not to focus too much on it, but with each hour that passed without a text, it began to consume my thoughts. Finally, with my dad’s words still in my head, I picked up my phone and texted Max.

No response.

I tried again. Still no response, and it wasn’t sitting well with me. It was beginning to make me crazy. I dialed Jordan’s number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Mady. Look, I just have to know, is everything okay with Max? I know it’s none of my business, but he’s been texting me for days, and then today, nothing. I tried to text him, but he hasn't answered.” I heard lots of odd sounds in the background. “Where are you? It’s pretty noisy there.”

“Uh, Mady, I don’t know how to tell you this. We’re at the hospital ER. Max has been in a car accident.”

I could feel the strength leave my legs as I crumbled to the floor. “WHAT? Oh, my God.”

“Maybe you should come. We’re at St. Michael’s.”

For a minute, I sat, stunned, before I was able to pull myself up and run down the stairs to my car.

Traffic. Why the hell did there need to be traffic?

When I finally arrived at the hospital, I parked and rushed to where I expected he would still be. I could see Scott standing at the doorway of a curtained-off room. I tried to not run, but my heart was in my throat.

I reached the curtain... and there sat Max on the edge of the hospital bed, a wrapped hand elevated in the air.

“Wait, what’s going on? I thought you were in a car accident?” I asked, stunned, doing a visual check over the rest of his body, which showed nothing else wrong with him.

Max smiled. “I slammed my fingers in the door of the car. I’m waiting to hear if they're fractured.”

I shot a glare at Jordan, who had a sheepish look on his face. “You said
car accident
. You let me believe the worst.” I narrowed my eyes intensely, causing him to back up against the curtain.

“Technically, he did have an accident involving his car. And on that note, I'm going anywhere but here. I'll let you two talk.”

Both Jordan and Scott quickly walked away, leaving Max and me looking at each other.

“You make quite the fashion statement,” he noted.

I looked down and groaned. I'd worn my old yoga pants, and beneath my coat was a ratty sports t-shirt, both covered in dust. I tried, in vain, to flick away the debris. “I was packing.”

“What do you mean,
packing
? Where are you going?” he asked, his features hardening.

“The house is sold. I’m moving in with my dad.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

I shrugged. “I’m not. It’s taken a weight off my family. The fighting is much less.”

“I'm glad.” He sighed, then said, “Look, Mady, I need to talk with you about the night at the bar.”

I dropped my gaze to the floor. “I’m not sure I want to.”

“You aren’t going to walk away again without knowing what I have to say. Your friends told me what you saw, and yes, Jessica kissed me. But what you didn’t see was a split second after she decided to pull that shit. I shoved her away and made it very clear that she shouldn’t try it again. I know I can’t change your mind if that's not what you want, but you needed to know
the
truth. I have fallen so hard for you. You are so unique, and genuine, and real. You make me happy. I don’t know what more I can tell you, except, I would never want you to be hurt like that. I thrive on the smiles that you give me.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I want you to forgive me, Mady. I want another chance to prove to you that I am
not
that kind of man. I don't need more than you.”

My heart pretty near exploded
from
my chest.

“She knew I was watching when she kissed you,” I whispered, peeking up at him.

Max growled. “She is such a pathetic ass. I would do anything for you not to have that vision in your head.”

“Yeah, me too.”

He reached his uninjured hand toward me. “Come here.” I moved to stand in front of him, but he pulled me against the bed, so I sat down beside him. He wrapped is arm around my shoulder and kissed my forehead.

“I am so sorry.”

I shrugged. “Seems like the person to blame is Jessica.”

Max nodded beside me. “So, do you think that maybe...” His thoughts were cut off with the curtain being pulled back by a man in a white coat.

“All right, Mr. Granger, let’s take a look at those fingers, shall we?”

I hopped from the bed. “I’m going to go. Now that I know you aren’t dying.” I smiled.

“Wait, Mady,” Max implored.

I shook my head. “Can’t keep the doctor waiting.”

He grumbled. “
I'll
call you, okay?”

I nodded and closed the curtain behind me. I walked toward the exit, spotting Jordan and Scott in the waiting area.

“See you later, troublemakers.” I called to them with a wave. They grinned widely and stood, presumably to check on Max.

The texts began once again, before I had even had a chance to step through my front door. This time, I wasn’t going to leave them unanswered.

We did not finish our conversation.

Pretty sure the doctor was more important. What’s the verdict?

Nothing broken, thank goodness.

Glad to hear it.

Mady, you are driving me crazy. Do you forgive me?

Yes, I forgive you.

Can I see you?

I looked around my room and sighed. I still had so much to do and so little time. Could I afford to have the distraction? No, probably not.

I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Aw, come on. I need to hold on to you for a little while. I can’t promise
I'll
be able to ever let go again.

Well, it’ll have to wait. I’m on a pretty tight deadline for getting packed here.

I could come help.

LOL no, I don’t think that would result in much packing.

Mady…

Tomorrow.
I'll
see you at school.

Okay. Goodnight, sweet dreams.

Goodnight.

I sprawled across my bed, and for the first time since the bar, I had a genuinely happy smile on my face. I looked over to my desk and saw my open notebook. I hadn’t told him about any of the writing I had done, and frankly, I was a little afraid.

The desire to write hit me as soon as I sat at my desk. When another song filled the page, I knew it was one that I wanted to share. What I hadn’t told anyone except Meagan, was that I had signed up to be a part of an amateur night at a local bar, Smoke and Mirrors. She had been thrilled to hear that I had decided to jump in and take a chance on playing my songs in public, and swore to keep it a secret, just in case I bombed completely. This song would be perfect for the occasion.

With a large sigh, I stood up and grabbed a box. That had been a welcome distraction, but this room wouldn’t pack itself.

Max met me the next morning outside our first class, a huge grin on his face. When I reached him, he opened his arms and pulled me into a long warm hug, his lips grazing my neck, just under my ear.

“Good morning. I've missed you so much, Mady.”

“I've missed you, too,” I said through stuttered breaths.

Inside, we walked down the stairs to our usual spot. When we were settled, Max turned to me. “This has to beat sitting all the way up there in the nosebleeds.”

I looked up from my notebook, surprised. “How did you know?”

He laughed. “I saw you up there a couple times. You know what, we should celebrate. Let’s go out tonight.”

“Uh, well actually, I have something else going on tonight.”

“Oh? What are you doing?”

I shrugged. “Nothing that you would be interested in. Maybe we can go out tomorrow? I’ve been craving your aunt’s cooking.”

He chuckled. “You missed my aunt’s cooking more than me?”

“Not even close. So, tomorrow? We can even drag our friends along if you want.”

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, so he could whisper in my ear. “I’m not sure I want to share you with anyone else.”

I could feel my cheeks heat, and I looked around to make sure no one else could hear us. “Well, I guess it’ll just be us then.”

Class started, halting our conversation, and I hoped that there would be no more inquiry as to my plans, but I would not be so lucky. We exited the class into the sunshine on the cold day, and we headed to my car.

“Tomorrow,
I'll
pick you up for class, okay? And maybe we can have a study session, too. I feel like we need to make up for lost time. Are you sure you're busy tonight?”

With a smile at his eagerness, I said, “You’re so silly. I’ll be waiting tomorrow morning for you, and yes, I have to be busy tonight, sorry.”

I turned to unlock my door, but spun around when I saw his hand was preventing me from opening it. He pressed us together. Looking down into my eyes, he grazed his thumb across my cheek. “I guess
I'll
see you tomorrow, then.”

I nodded. He leaned down, and I closed my eyes, expecting our lips to meet. Instead, to my disappointment, he kissed my cheek, and then stepped back so I could open my door.

“
I'll
save what we both really want, for when we have more time to enjoy it.”

I grinned at his logic and slipped into my car, watching him walk to his Jetta before I drove away. The world seemed to be back on its axis again.

The doorbell rang an hour before I was due to be at the bar. I ran downstairs to let Meagan in. She joined me in my room, where I was rushing to put the finishing touches on my makeup.

“I am so excited for you tonight, Mady. I can’t believe you're actually going through with it.”

I laughed shakily. “I can’t, either. I hope I don’t completely suck up there.”

“Oh stop,” she ordered me. “Your songs are beautiful. I can’t wait to hear what you chose to play.”

I slipped into my nicest, dark blue skinny jeans and a sparkly black tank top. With Meagan’s approval, I grabbed my music and my guitar, and headed downstairs. After slipping on our boots, we got in her car and headed out.

Smoke and Mirrors lived up to its name, with tons of mirrors lining the smoke-gray walls. Old movie posters of black and white detective movies were scattered around the place. The security guard directed us to a door at the side of the stage, where a guy sat with a clipboard.

“Hi, I’m Madelyne Stewart. I’m signed up for tonight.” I chattered nervously.

The guy looked at his clipboard and nodded. “Yup, here you are, you’re second up. My advice? Go have a drink at the bar, relax, and the come back to these two tables to wait. You’ll do great.” He smiled.

Heeding his suggestion, I headed to the bar for a beer, before returning to the reserved tables near the stage. Thank goodness I didn’t have to wait long, or I might have chickened out.

“Next up, Madelyne!” a voice announced.

I looked at Meagan, wide-eyed for a moment, before grabbing my music and hitting the stage. It wasn’t a terribly high stage, but it was enough to be seen clearly by the rest of the bar. I set my music on the stand in front of me and threw my guitar strap over my head. I took a deep breath and strummed one last time to make sure my guitar was in tune. Without looking at the audience I stated, “This is called
Don’t Want To
.”

How do I say goodbye

After all this time?

Can’t forget, can’t let go

I don’t want to, I don’t want to

Remembering all the times

You were by my side

Through the fun, and the pain

I don’t want to, I don’t want to.

You were the one I could always count on,

And when I was down, you could make me smile again

So I close my eyes real tight

And think of better days,

In my heart, I must be strong,

But I don’t want to, I don’t want to

You were the one I could always count on,

And when I was down, you could make me smile again

So I close my eyes real tight

And think of better days,

In my heart, I must be strong,

But I don’t want to, I don’t want to.

When the last note died, and the audience erupted into applause, I looked around, feeling a little startled. Right in the middle of the room, my eyes locked on the faces of Max, Jordan, Scott, Chloe, my dad, and a woman I didn’t know. I looked over to Meagan, who was hopping up and down with excitement. I gestured to the group and she just raised an eyebrow at me and stuck out her tongue.

The audience quieted down, and I decided to speak. “Hi, everyone. As you heard, I’m Mady. So, I only told one friend about doing this tonight. However, she spilled the beans, and , to my surprise, I now see that most of the people I love are here. I guess
I'd
better make this good, huh?”

The crowd laughed along with me, which set my mind at ease. “This next song,
Make You See
, is about someone pretty special to me. I hope you like it.”

You’ve held my hand,

And held me close

You were my strength

When I had none of my own.

There aren’t enough hours in a day

To express to you

how grateful I am

That you never gave up on me

It’s the little things that you do,

The lengths you go to make me see,

That you want me any way that I come.

That you’re the perfect man for me.

You came into my life

like a breath of fresh air,

And when I wasn’t looking

You captured my heart.

It’s the little things that you do,

The lengths you go to make me see,

That you want me any way that I come.

That you’re the perfect man for me.

When I find that words

Just are not enough,

How can I tell you that I

am happier because of you

It’s the little things that you do,

The lengths you go to make me see,

That you want me any way that I come.

That you’re the perfect man for me.

Applause and cheers—mainly from my friends—filled the air once more. I took a moment to thank the crowd before hopping off the stage and making my way to my friends. Two steps ahead of them, Max stood, a strange expression on his face. “Did you actually write a song about me?”

I nodded. “It just came to me last night.”

His eyebrows raised. “You’ve started writing again?”

“I have. Just started with a little here and there. It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s a big deal to me. I have something for you.” He pulled his hand
from
his pocket and opened it, his apartment key laying in his palm. I looked at him, a little confused.

“Here’s the thing, when I gave you the key before, I wanted to ask you to move in with me. But I chickened out at the last second. I was scared you would say no, and I really wanted you to say yes. Not going to waste any more time. I’d like to ask you now.”

I looked between his face and the key. “Move in? But I’m just about to move in with my dad.”

“Actually,” Dad said as he stepped beside Max, “I've been thinking about that, and my place will probably be a little too crowded for both of us, sweetheart.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Y
ou're
kicking me out before I've even lived there?”

Dad nodded, a huge smile on his face.

Max squeezed my hand. “So, what do you say, Mady? The guys agree that having one more in the apartment would be awesome.”

Scott piped up. “You know we like you better than Max anyway.”

I laughed and looked back at Max, his eyes focused directly on mine. Everything around me seemed to disappear—the noise, my family, my friends—and at that moment, it was just Max and me. He took my hands and pulled me closer to him. “Move in with me, not because everyone else wants you to, but because what we have had from the start has been amazing.”

I took a deep breath and let it out, to try and calm the butterflies in my stomach. He was right. From the moment he walked up to me on the bridge, to the tutoring, and now our relationship, I knew we were right for each other. Hell, I'd just said so to a room full of people.

“Okay. Hope you have lots of pizza money, because you'll need to bribe the guys to help me move.”

He wrapped his arms around me and murmured in my ear. “You have made me a very happy man.” His lips crushed mine in a deep, satisfying kiss. I had never craved a kiss so badly. Whistles and catcalls brought us back to reality, and when we finally parted, he dropped the key into my palm.

I turned to my dad. “Thanks for the non-choice. Are you sure you'll be all right by yourself?” It was then that I noticed the woman, who
I'd
spotted with the group earlier, was still beside him.

“Actually, I was thinking about it, because I would like you to meet someone. This is Carol. We met through work.”

I saw a sparkle in his eye when he spoke, his face wearing a soft smile. Carol was quiet and nice at first impression, someone I could picture him with. I grinned at him, and he returned it.

Max spoke to the group. “So, who’s hungry? I told my aunt that we'd all stop by the restaurant and eat.

“Really?” I asked excitedly.

“You told me you were dying for her food. I wouldn’t want to make you wait.”