Making the Cut (16 page)

Cade watched me intently jaw hard, super alert since I mentioned Jimmy wore a cut. I soldiered on.

“I got immersed in his world, I spent too much time with him, not enough with my friends. I’m not stupid I knew he was into shady stuff, but he never let me see too much, I didn’t really want to know so I never asked. Stupid, naïve.” I shook my head, angry with my past self. “Anyway, one night I went to visit him at his apartment, which I never did, cause he lived in a seriously dangerous part of town. He didn’t like me coming there, but I had a surprise for him for his birthday, I was excited. So when I walked up his stairs I wasn’t prepared to see Jimmy blow someone’s head off, to feel their blood on my cheek.”

“Jesus, Fuck, baby.” Cade muttered holding me tight.

I continued on, ignoring him, lost in my memory. I was so scared that night, I had just seen a man die, watched the man I loved kill someone.

“His name was Carlos.” I paused. “The man Jimmy murdered, his name was Carlos. He had three children and a wife, he was just a regular guy who made a couple of stupid choices, which led to him owing the club money. Money, which he couldn’t pay back. So Jimmy murdered him.” My voice was small and weak.

Cades hand circled my back. I looked at him, tears glistening in my eyes.

“His wife’s name was Rosa, she loved him with all her heart. His children were five, seven and fifteen.”

“You were close with him baby?” Cade asked softly eyes never leaving mine.

I was surprised at his question.

“No. Didn’t know him.” I replied.

This was Cades turn to look surprised. His expression was intense, unreadable.

“I found out who we was, after. Wanted to know. Needed to. I saw a mans life end in front of my eyes, I wanted to know who he left behind. I talk to Rosa at least once a month.” I didn’t mention that I also give her monthly payments to help her keep her children fed and clothed.

“Anyway, after I saw that I ran, I didn’t think. I don’t know how he didn’t catch me, I don’t think he realized I was really there until I was halfway down the stairs. I heard him yell to me, I kept going. I managed to get to my car, somehow.” It was a miracle I had a car. No one in Manhattan had a car, but I did, since I had always had one and didn’t like the feeling of not having one here in an unfamiliar country.

“I don’t know why I didn’t drive to a police station,” I shrugged. “I was in shock I think, flight instinct firmly in place. I made it to my apartment and started to pack a bag. Don’t know why I did that either, my plan was to leave, get on a plane and get the fuck out.” I didn’t think at that point I was a witness to murder I was too freaked.

“As I was packing, I heard banging at the door, hard, loud. I knew it was Jimmy’s boys, I had met them before, knew they were bad straight off. Seen it in their eyes, but I was blind, blind to Jimmy.  I was in love.” I scoffed. “Or thought I was. “Anyway, they kicked the door down, came at me and punched me. I’d never been punched before, it hurt.”

Cade’s arms were now vices and anger radiated from him. I swear he was shaking with it, I thought his jaw might shatter it was clenched so hard. I kept talking.

“I blacked out, or they knocked me out, I’m not sure which. I woke up, in a warehouse, naked, tied up. That’s when I saw Jimmy, really saw him, the evil. Saw past his charm and good looks that he wore like a mask. He beat me, they watched, the big men with their cuts, their evil smiles, sometimes throwing in a kick. They did it for hours, always stopping before I passed out. Then Jimmy decided they would rape me, him first for old times sake.” I rolled my eyes, engrossed in my very own horror story I didn’t notice Cade shaking with rage. “By this time, he had fractured my skull, dislocated my shoulder, broken my wrist, and ribs. And his buddies had kicked me so hard I was bleeding internally. I was dying. But he still decided that wasn’t enough. I was also to be gang raped. Luckily, by then I had been missing for over twenty four hours, my neighbors heard the break in, saw me getting carried off, the police lucked out, someone caught the plates on the van I was taken in. They found me, just in time.” I was still so lost in the story, I still didn’t notice Cade, lying like a stone, arms around me.

“What I also didn’t know was police had been looking for Jimmy, for like a long time. He was a very wanted man, top 10 must wanted in America. I didn’t know I was sleeping with a murderer, a rapist, a sadist. I thought I loved him. I know now I didn’t, that it wasn’t real.” Tears welled up in my eyes and I didn’t let them fall. “I spent one month in the hospital, six more recovering, doing rehab. I tried to go back to work, tried to stay in my city, but I couldn’t. And one day, I found Amber, and it just made sense. This place, it was me I could heal here, forget.” I took a deep breath, needing to get it all out. “That’s why I reacted the way I did when I first saw you, when I saw the guys from the club. They brought up some memories I had associated with bikers. I know now that you’re different, but it was still a world that represented everything I went through.”

I finally got out of my trance and looked up at Cade, realizing something was wrong. He was beyond angry there was no word to describe the sheer rage that was written all over his face.

I laid my hand on his chest and pushed up a bit, “Honey…” I whispered softly.

“Gwen get off me.” He hissed.

I felt the sick feeling in the pit of my gut again, a blow connected with my stomach like I had been physically punched. I didn’t say a word, just crawled off him, defeated. He knifed up, walking to the wall, punching it viciously. I jumped as he put his fist through the plasterboard, dust flying everywhere.

“FUCK!” He bellowed before putting both hands to his head and looking down at the floor. I watched him cautiously unsure of what to do, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but I had never seen anyone this angry. Not even Ian, and he saw me bruised and battered and almost dead. I guess maybe he checked it, saw I couldn’t deal. Cade most definitely hadn’t checked it. I sat on the edge of the bed, feeling exposed. I threw on his tee, unsure if this was the right move, but I knew if he told me to leave I’d take this, as a reminder. He sensed my movement, his eyes roamed to me. Something registered, his expression changed and he slowly approached the bed, crouching in front of me. Anger saturated his expression before it softened.

“Baby, I’m not going to hurt you.” He tread carefully, thinking his reaction had set me off.

“I know.” I whispered, eyes locked to his.

His head jerked with surprise. He gently pushed me back on the bed to cover my body with his. He stroked my face tenderly, like I was made of glass.

“This swine, Jimmy, he got a last name?” Cade asked carefully, his quiet tone still shaking with anger.

“Yup.” I said slowly. “O’Fallhan.” I told him on a slight whisper. Something flashed through Cade’s eyes, something too quick to catch, recognition?

“You know him?” I asked softly.

“No baby.” He said stroking my head. “What prison is he in?”

“Ummm, Attica.” I answered, having memorized all but his prisoner number, needing to know where he was, where he would be for the rest of his miserable life.

“Why?” I added, getting a bad feeling.

“No reason babe, just need to know that fucker is locked up, or else I would hunt him down and kill him. Still might.” His voice was even, too even, like he didn’t trust himself to raise it.

Cade’s reaction rattled me, he was obviously really angry, for me. More importantly, it showed how much he cared about me

“No honey, he doesn’t deserve to die.” I stroked his cheek. Cade directed a dangerous look at me. “A man like that, being locked up for the rest of his life, is exactly what he deserves. Death is too easy for him.” I watched as the look on Cade’s face turned to a sad sort of pride.

“You are the strongest woman I’ve ever met.” Cade’s mouth descended on mine and he kept me distracted, helping to keep the demons at bay.

I was lying on top of Cade, sated from yet another round of love making, tracing my fingertip over the skin on his left pec. I had never really had the time to inspect his tats up close. And man, they were kick ass. He was covered, but not it stupid, poorly done scribbles, he was a work of art. He had a huge tat, spanning his chest, two doves, one on each side, pulling a script, which read ‘keep the faith’. Then above his left pec, he had intertwined a set of scales, with Peace on one side, Order in the other. His full sleeve started at the top of his neck, with a huge angel, sprawled from his shoulder, spanning his back and arm. His forearm became so thick with tats, I was engrossed discovering them all I actually lifted Cades arm to get a better look. I forgot for a second that he was an actual living, breathing man.

“Like what you see baby?” He growled.

I peeked up through my eyelashes at him.

“Your tats are the shit.” I whispered back, and his eyes got that funny intense look they had when I was wearing his tee.

“You hungry babe?”

“What?” I was thrown at the abrupt change in subject.

“Food? You know the stuff we eat to survive?” He asked deadpan.

I burst out laughing and didn’t stop for a wee while. I knew Cade was starting to get pissed off when he hauled me up his body and growled. “Babe.”

“Sorry honey, I think that’s the first time you have actually attempted something resembling a joke.” I wheezed, wiping a tear from underneath my eye dramatically. “I decided to savor in it.”

I smirked and he just stared at me. He then picked me up, walking us to the kitchen before unceremoniously plopping me down on his kitchen counter.

“Cade!” I jumped off the counter as he pulled out bacon and eggs out of the refrigerator.

“What woman?”

“I don’t have any clothes on.” I said stating the obvious.

“Not planning on walking out the door anytime soon babe.” Cade set a fry pan on the stove before walking back up to me and setting me back off the counter.  He stayed there, standing between my legs, hands either side of my body.

“Besides, I like the view. And I like knowing, if I feel like it, I can fuck you, no barriers to worry about.” He gave me a quick bite on the breast to make his point, then cupped me between my legs. My eyes rolled back into my head for a bit, that area highly sensitive.

“Yeah but I am sitting naked on your kitchen counter, it’s not very hygienic.” I breathed out.

Cade smirked. “I don’t give a fuck babe, in fact I may never wash that counter again. Now stay.” He ordered before turning back to the stove.

My temper made its appearance.

“Did you just order me like a dog?” I whispered menacingly.

Cade eyed me. “Nope. Dogs listen a fuck of lot more than you.”

I huffed, wide eyed and decided to ignore him. I gave myself a proper look at his kitchen, it was quite big, for a bachelor pad. All the appliances were stainless steel, not brand new, but nothing to sneeze at either. His countertops were white, his cupboards brown. It ran into a sort of dining area at the back of the house, where a cluttered wooden dining table sat, and beyond that a set of French doors looked like they led out to a patio area. Without being able to stop myself, my gaze went back to Cade, putting bread in the toaster. Unlike me, he wasn’t naked. He had put on his jeans, commando, top button undone. He had his back to me, and I got the chance to marvel at the huge tattoo covering his whole back. It was similar to his patch, the grim reaper riding a bike under a road of skulls, with script reading ‘Sons of Templar’ at the bottom. The background was flames and they were so vivid they looked almost real. Even though I wasn’t a big fan of skulls and crossbones, I had to say it was awesome. I realized we had been sitting in silence for quite a while, not uncomfortable, I guessed with the amount of words we had shared throughout the day, silence might be good.

“How old are you?” I asked, curious. He was definitely older than my 25 years but I couldn’t quite figure out how much.

He glanced at me from the stove. “I’m thirty two.”

My eyes popped out. “Seriously? Wow, you are an old man.”

He turned off the heat. “You didn’t seem to mind an old man fucking you ten minutes ago.”

“No, well as long as you don’t put your hip out.” I continued teasing.

“Don’t you want to know how old I am?” I asked after he didn’t reply.

Cade glanced at me. “Already know how old you are Gwen.”

That was a surprise. “What did you do a background check on me or something?” I joked, my brows narrowed when he just looked back at me.

“Did you seriously do a background check on me?” I asked in a sharp tone.

“Babe as soon as I saw you outside your house knew I had to have you. Just had one of the boys look you up so I knew what I was working with. I hardly call looking up your Facebook page a background check.” He replied amusement dancing in his eyes.

I opened my mouth then closed it again, unable to think of a response to this. Cade turned back to our food.

A phone ringing made my jump and Cade heard it too.

“That’s yours babe. Ignore it. I only just got you without interruptions I don’t need drama from your crazy best friend.” He turned back, expecting me to obey.

But I didn’t, of course. After scowling at his back for the comment about Amy, I leapt off the counter and ran in the direction of the ringing. I wouldn’t normally, but that was Ian’s tone! I hadn’t heard from him in months, due to him being in fuck knows where doing fuck knows what. I worried about him all the time and wasn’t going to miss a chance to talk to him. I skidded into the foyer where I found my bag and searched through it as my phone kept ringing.