Malice in Wonderland (3 page)

But when his eyes dropped to the floor and he sighed heavily, I felt my heart plummet and the breath catch in my throat. He glanced up at me, his eyes unreadable. "
Dulcie
, there is no choice to make." He sounded beaten, conquered.

Something within me broke.

How could he still maintain his allegiance to my father? After everything he'd been through, everything we'd been through? How could he make this choice?

"Okay," I
started,
the timbre in my voice angry. I pushed away from the prison bars and was about to turn around and leave, in favor of some fresh air; but before I could, he stopped me.

"I choose you," he said resolutely, his eyes more serious than I'd ever seen them. "And I will always choose you from here on out."

I swallowed back the anger
that moments
before had been plaguing me and felt a smile break across my lips. I knew the old Quill was in there somewhere. There was still the flame of a fight left within him, smoldering in the ashes of defeat and subjugation. And that was good enough for me because every conflagration started with the smallest spark. My smile broadened and I felt the fires of my own determination and resistance being stoked within me. "Will you join The Resistance, Quill? Will you stand up with me against my father?" I wrapped my fingers around the prison bars.

His lips were tight as he encircled my fingers with his own. His eyes were piercing, never leaving mine and he suddenly seemed years younger. The downcast strain in his features seemed to melt before me as his strength returned to his gaze and the line of his eyebrows. The
Quillan
I'd always known was back.

He nodded. "Yes."

I didn't say anything, but held his gaze, and releasing the prison bars, I took both of his hands instead and squeezed them tightly. Moments later, I dropped them and turned toward Christina, eager to tell her of his decision, but his voice grabbed my attention again.

"
Dulcie
?"

I faced him and felt his eyes boring straight through me.

"Thank you," he said softly.

I didn't respond, but started up the hallway, my gaze resting on Christina. Knight was still standing beside her, his arms still crossed against his chest and his eyes still following my every move. It was more than obvious that he'd watched everything that had just taken place between Quill and me, and he didn't look happy about it. But I didn't care. I forced myself not to care.

"He's in," I said simply. I watched as Christina merely nodded and started toward me, the cell key in her hand. Knight shook his head and clasped his hands behind his head as he cracked his knuckles in the process and sighed deeply. I glared at him before returning my attention to Christina as she passed me and walked to Quill's cell.

"I don't know what you think you're …" Knight started and I turned to find him directly before me.

"I don't see how this is any of your business," I interrupted snidely and propped my hands on my
hips,
summoning all the willpower I possessed not to deck him right then and there. All it took was for him to open his mouth and I was suddenly infused with anger, raw and irrepressible. It felt as if the blood within me was now burning, bubbling its way through my veins and coloring my vision with red.

"Not my business?" he railed back at me. "I ..."

"Last I checked, Christina was the head of The Resistance," I interrupted him again. "So as far as I'm concerned, I'll take my orders from her, not you." Then before he could so much as utter another word, I turned on my foot, and opening the door, walked outside. I felt as if I'd suffocate if I remained one second more.

###

The question of whether or not I would be allowed to return to my apartment was a moot one. I
’d
already figured that I was kissing my old life good-bye. And, of course, Christina furthered that sentiment by informing me it would be entirely too dangerous for me to even set foot into the place. For as careful as The Resistance was in securing the borders between the Netherworld and Earth, as well as ensuring the loyalty of Netherworld creatures on the Earthly plain, there were still unknowns. And it was better to prepare for those unknowns than to be taken by surprise.

As to my dog, Blue, Christina said he'd already been taken into account, and we would be reunited shortly. I didn't have a whole lot in the apartment that
mattered
a hoot to me, aside from my computer, which held the only copy of my book,
A Vampire and A Gentleman
. It was a book I'd written about my "friend," Bram, and I was in the process of trying to find a publisher for it. I could only hope it would remain safe in my apartment.

But my dog and my apartment weren’t my only concerns. I was worried for my friends from the ANC: Sam,
Dia
, and Trey. According to Christina, they were already relocated to a safer place as well. It seemed that anyone in the ANC was considered a sitting duck and, thus, had been whisked away into hiding. As to the issue of ensuring that the streets of Splendor, Moon, Estuary, and Haven weren't suddenly overrun by mischief-makers, the solution was the soldiers of The Resistance. They had already started patrolling each neighborhood as soon as the
Draoidheil
mission was thwarted. All told, I'd made an understatement when I mentioned earlier that The Resistance was organized. They were
uber
organized.

So now it was a matter of waiting for a ride to some top secret location where I'd be living underneath the radar until things between the Netherworld and Earth settled down. As to what the plan was to ensure that things between the Netherworld and Earth would eventually become less heated, I wasn't in the know. I wanted to approach Christina with more questions on that exact subject, but as I expected, she was more than a little preoccupied. After our little rendezvous through the prison, I didn't see her again.

Instead, she instructed
Quill and me to wait in line with five other members of The Resistance for a ride to our new digs. Suddenly realizing I was now high up on the list of most threatened people in the witness relocation program, it was slightly reassuring to know Quill was right alongside me.

"Do you have any idea where they're taking us?" Quill asked as he glanced around, a squadron of ten or so soldiers jog
ging
by us. Quill shook his head in apparent wonder, as if he were impressed. Then his eyes rested on me.

I shook my head. "No, no idea at all."

At the sound of a purring engine, I turned to my left and noticed Knight pulling up in the black Denali. His eyes were narrowed on me a
nd I knew the time for ignoring him
was now over.

"
Dulcie
,
we need to talk," he said
, rolling
the passenger window down. Then he reached over and opened the door, signaling that we were to talk in the SUV while en route to Hades only knew where.

Figuring this conversation needed to be broached at some
point,
I took a step forward, but was stopped by Quill's hand on my upper arm. Glancing up at him, I noticed his eyes were glued on Knight and his entire body had gone rigid.

"Anywhere she goes, I go," he said simply.

"This doesn't concern you,
Quillan
," Knight replied dryly, but his eyes warned Quill not to argue with him.

"Apparently, you don't understand English," Quill replied as his eyes blazed in response. "Anywhere she goes, I go."

Before it officially became the war of the elves and
Lokis
, I pulled my arm away from Quill's grasp and glanced up at him with a warm smile. "
It's
okay, Quill."

"
Dulce
," he started, shaking his head, and dropping his tone so only I could hear him. "We are in this together from here on out; and your safety is what matters most to me."

I nodded, but felt something in my stomach instantly sour, not too good with all of this protective stuff. "You know I can take care of myself," I replied sardonically. "I'll see you soon."

I turned around and approached the Denali, climbing into the passenger seat as I eyed
Quillan
and smiled reassuringly. He just sighed and frowned. I made a mental note to remind him not to s
uffocate me so much
. Once I closed my door, Knight turned the SUV around and started for the entrance of Compound Three.

I'm not sure how long before either of us said anything, but I was already committed to not breaking the silence. This was Knight's conversation to start.

"I fucked up," Knight said finally, his eyes riveted on the road. His voice was deep, and the sound resonated through the SUV.

I said nothing, but nodded, although "fucked up" wasn't even the tip of the iceberg. If he hoped to have a chance in hell at gaining my forgiveness, there was a whole lot more ice to melt.

"All this time, I was convinced you were working for Melchior," he continued. "I guess I was so blinded by it, I couldn't see the truth."

"So, let me guess, you finally decided to talk to
Caressa
and she told you the truth?" I lashed out, not able to maintain my silence any longer. Fury was simmering inside me, made obvious by the acidity in my tone. 

He nodded. "Yes, she told me everything."

"Interesting," I said angrily. "Funny, isn’t it? How I first told you to call
Caressa
before Christina ever did and, yet, did you listen to me? No."

He exhaled deeply. "I couldn't think straight at the time,
Dulcie
," he said, referring to a conversation we'd had in the Denali, after he took me into custody. "I was convinced you were playing me all along."

"Sucks to be you then, I guess."

He swallowed and then studied me intently. "So this is all falling on deaf ears?"
There was an
edge
to
his voice.

I nodded, my anger pouring out of me. "Yeah, you could say that."

"
Dulcie
, I fucked up," he repeated. "I should never have doubted you." He paused for a few seconds. "I don't know what more I can say except ... I'm sorry."

There were so many thoughts and feelings storming through my head, I felt like my brain was going to implode. My body was rigid and I didn't even realize that I was digging my fingernails into the leather seat until I glanced down and noticed how white my knuckles were.

"Say something," Knight continued.

I glared up at him and swallowed everything that was rampaging through me, trying to find the ability to form words. "Sorry just doesn’t cut it," I began, shaking my head in disbelief. "I risked my life for you." I took a deep breath. "Because I was trying to keep you safe, I became something I disdained, something I could never respect."

"
Dulcie
," he
begged,
his eyes pools of pain. I held my hand up and shushed him as I faced him angrily.

"Ever since I agreed to work for my father, I've been beaten up and nearly raped more times than I care to say. I ca
n’t remember the last time
I actually slept more than two hours. I cut myself off from my friends and everyone else I cared about ... but none of that mattered to me. And do you know why?
Because what mattered most to me was keeping
you
safe."

He opened his mouth, but quickly shut it again, his eyes downcast.

"And how do you thank me?" I continued as a shallow laugh fell off my lips.
"By throwing me behind bars."
I felt my heart rate increasing. "And let's not even mention what you did to me while en route to the prison."

He observed me as he shook his head. "I would never have continued, if I didn't think you wanted to."

I couldn't deny that I had wanted Knight when he took me on the side of the road even though there had been nothing but ugliness between us at the time. Even though the moment had been far from ideal, once I felt his touch, not to mention his hands and lips moving all over me, I more than wanted him. That's how it was between Knight and me—our connection was
incendiary
. Even now, despite my fury, I wanted him. I didn't believe that would ever change.

"
Dulcie
, if I knew you sold your soul to Melchior because of me, I never would have allowed that to happen. For as much as I fucked up, you fucked up too."

"What?" I repeated, shocked.

"You should never have lied to me. You should have told me what was going on so we could have worked through it together."

I bit my lower lip, enraged that I couldn't argue that issue. Maybe I should have just been honest with him from the get-go. But the time to cry over spilt milk was long gone. "That's beside the point," I said stiffly. "You knew all along
who
my father was and yet, you kept it from me." I continued to vent, not wanting to think about my contribution to the ugliness between us. "From the moment you first met me, you had a hidden agenda."