Malice in Wonderland (7 page)

Once I felt Knight's palms moving below my collarbone and resting against my breasts, I had a feeling that the time for stopping was dripping through my fingers. He rested the flat of his hands above each of my breasts and stared down at me, his eyes glowing with a whiteness that told me just how excited he was. The glow in Knight's eyes was primitive—an instinctual, animal-like reflex responsive only to me, and to my body. It was his way of broadcasting to the world that I belonged to him—a warning to other men to stay away from me or suffer the
Loki
consequences.

He pushed against my breasts, cupping his palms around them. I opened my mouth, trying to regain my wits enough to tell him to beat it; but that's not exactly what I said. Well, in all honesty, I didn't say anything at all. Nope, instead I ... moaned.

Even though it was only the very beginning of a moan, and more like a split second of a whimper, or a tiny mouse's squeak, that was all it took. Instantly, Knight thrust me toward him and kissed me. The touch of his lips on mine was like kerosene to fire. Whatever was building inside me broke through the weak dam that was restraining it and now took full dominion over my entire body. Without any hesitation whatsoever, I opened my mouth, allowing his tongue full access. But he didn't need any invitation. His tongue met mine violently and we lapped at each other with an incendiary urgency. He looped his hands around my shoulders and pulled me into him, into his hardened shaft. He was most definitely stirring beneath his pants, pressing against my navel. I met the thrusting of his tongue and we kissed one another with so much fervor, I wasn't sure where my mouth began and his ended.

He lifted me and carried me the few feet that separated us from the Denali and I was suddenly aware of the cold steel of the door against my back. The feel of the Denali beneath me was all it took for me to come to my senses, to come back to reality. It was as if the sharp coldness of the steel completely obviated the sexual waves of bliss that were previously consuming me. Instead, a montage of memories from the last time I got up close and personal with the Denali overtook me. However, those weren't memories that I cherished, by any stretch of the imagination. No, they left me feeling angry and depressed. Although the sex that night was one of the most passionate we'd ever had, it went well beyond angry and turned out to be one of the chief reasons I didn't know how to feel towards Knight.

I brought my hands up to his chest and pushed him away, breaking the seal of our lips as he stared down at me in surprise. "Stop," I said weakly. "We can't do this."

"
Dulcie
, if it feels right," he started.

I shook my head. "It doesn't feel right." As I met his eyes, I could see the hurt in their depths as he seemed to realize things hadn't changed between
us, that
our kiss didn't mean I forgave him for everything that happened before. "There's too much baggage between us."

I was beginning to wonder if this was going to be a repeat of the last time we found ourselves alone on an empty stretch of road with only the Denali for company. Would Knight be able to restrain himself? What was more, would I be able to restrain myself? As it was, my self-control was hanging by a thin thread. But one thing I knew for sure was that I would never allow myself to have angry sex with Knight again. The pain and guilt afterwards were just too much.

"I don't want what happened last time," I started but he interrupted me.

"That will never happen again," he said sharply and I could see the self-loathing in his eyes at the mere memory of it. It was clearly evident that Knight hated himself for what happened. I could see as much in his eyes; he couldn't accept knowing that he lost control of himself and took advantage not only of the situation, but also of me.

Without another word, he pulled
a
way from me, even taking two steps back, as if to assure me that nothing more would happen. His eyes were still glowing, and clouded over with naked desire. It was taking all of my self-control not to surrender to him, and allow him to claim me. Even now my body was begging for it. The yearning deep within me had grown into an endless stinging—something that was becoming painful. Basically, my brain was in an all-out war with my body.

Knight shut his eyes tightly and took another few steps from me.

"Get in the car," he said gruffly, sparing me the need to question him as he quickly continued. "I can sense you,
Dulcie
, everything you're ... you're feeling and ... you're not making things easy on me."

No more explanation was necessary. I completely got his gist. Apparently, this was yet another of his Loki abilities: sensing my desire for him. Maybe he could somehow smell my pheromones or something similar. I could see that whatever it was that he
was
picking up on, was taking every ounce of his fortitude to resist. As much as I'd been wrestling with my own needs, Knight was doing the same.
Judging by
his pinched lip expression, his battle was much more difficult than mine was.

He glanced up at me and as his eyes met mine, they glowed fiercely white. He immediately dropped his head and rubbed his eyes. It was as if he was trying to rub the glow right out of them. When he looked over at me again, his eyes were back to their brilliant blue, with only a few specks of white. He took a few deep breaths, his already broad chest inflating until he looked unbelievably large. After exhaling, and apparently regaining control of himself, he faced me again.

"I'm sorry," he started. Then he seemed to be at a loss, making no motion to do anything.

I nodded my acceptance to his apology, and suddenly felt the urge to sit down. I hurried to the passenger side of the Denali, throwing myself into my seat as I wrapped my arms around my chest and berated myself for losing control. I couldn't look at Knight. Instead, I focused on my knees as they nervously bounced. From the periphery of my vision, I watched Knight settling himself into his seat. He closed his door and turned the heat up as high as it would go. My guilt, confusion, and anger with myself all made me forget that I was freezing cold until the heat enveloped me.

"
Dulce
," he started.

"No," I interrupted. "Let's just pretend that never happened."

He cleared his throat and sighed, putting the SUV in drive and starting forward. Evidently, the scanner had opened some sort of portal or passageway because as soon as we drove past the pine tree, which housed the scanner, there was a popping sound and the terrain completely changed. Instead of miles and miles of flat, open land, we were suddenly in the center of a city.

"We're going to have to talk about things,
Dulcie
," Knight said. "If we're going to continue working together ..."

"As far as I'm concerned, nothing
happened," I answered with steel resolve. "There are way bigger things on the horizon for us to worry about. Whatever is going on between you and me isn't important right now, Knight," I finish
ed, suddenly realizing how icy
my words sounded.

His lips were tight, but his eyes burned.
"Understood."

Although I wanted to tell him that I didn't really mean that our situation was unimportant, I couldn't bring myself to utter the words. I just didn't possess the wherewithal, or the energy, or whatever the hell it was to allow me to open up. Instead I gazed outside my window, losing myself in the cityscape, the blaring of loud horns, and the flickering of skyscraper lights. The gentle hum in my ears told me there was
a freeway somewhere close
by.