Marriage to the Second Degree - Part 1 (2 page)

“So you’re actually going through with this?”  Her sister, Kelly despite Mckenzie’s constant requests to not just barge into her room, did exactly that as she made herself comfortable on Mckenzie’s bed.

“Don’t start,” Mckenzie said, reaching for her white cardigan, which she had laid on a nearby chair, momentarily forgetting that she had wanted to wear the blue.  “I know you don’t like Sawyer, but I agreed to have dinner with him so just don’t start.”

Her family’s opinion of Sawyer had decreased over the years, despite his bestselling author status, they all still thought of him as that wayward kid who used to get busted every couple of months for petty crimes.  Sawyer had straightened up his act years ago, but his father never had.  But it was hardly Sawyer’s fault his father was such a loser.

“It’s not a question of me not liking him,” Kelly said, clasping one of Mckenzie’s bed pillows in her lap.  “It’s more that after everything that happened, I can’t believe you’re going to give him another chance to break your heart.”

“It’s just dinner, Kelly,” Mckenzie said, using the same kind of tone Sawyer had used to convince her to change her mind.  Not that she thought Kelly would buy it either.

“Right.”  Kelly snorted, as predicted, although the sound would have been more suited to a bratty thirteen year old.  “Just dinner.  The man has always been able to twist you around his little finger, and you know it.”

Picking up her hairbrush, Mckenzie slid it through her hair despite the fact that she had already brushed her hair four times.  “Will you cut me some slack?  It wasn’t just his fault that everything went wrong.”

Kelly’s eyebrows rose.  “So now you’re taking all the blame, too?”

Nervous and edgy from a practically sleepless night and the thought of seeing Sawyer again, Mckenzie wasn’t in the mood for Kelly’s usual the man is bad news speech.

“Look, if the only reason you came in here was to jump my shit about Sawyer, you can save your breath.” 

She and Kelly had bought a house together after Mckenzie had left Sawyer.  For the most part the arrangement suited them both as Mckenzie was often away on modeling gigs, and Kelly liked having a roommate, but when it came to Sawyer
,
the sisters’ opinions were about as varied as peanut butter to pickles.

“You still love him, don’t you?” Kelly asked.

Mckenzie paused in the act of inserting her earrings, as her gaze collided with Kelly’s in the mirror.

“I really don’t know,” Mckenzie said, not entirely certain what to make of Kelly’s comment, but saw harm in answering truthfully.  “I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

“And let me guess, Sawyer is the real reason you broke up with Hank.” 

“No.”  Mckenzie spritzed on a splash of perfume, coughing slightly when too much of the fragrance clouded in the air.  “Hank and I had taken our relationship as far as it was going to go, and we both knew it.” 

“And just exactly who are you trying to convince with that statement.  Me or you?”  The obvious challenge in Kelly’s statement couldn’t be ignored, but Mckenzie did her best.

Adjusting the waist band of her capris, the quirk of her eyebrow decidedly irritated, Mckenzie said, “Kelly is there any other purpose for you coming in here other than to try to piss me off?” 

A swift glance at the green glowing numbers of her bedside clock confirmed Sawyer’s impending arrival, and Mckenzie wanted a moment to collect her thoughts, which wasn’t likely to happen with Kelly playing grand inquisitor.

“I just don’t want to see you getting hurt again.  That’s all.”  Hearing the concern behind her sister’s words inspired a touch of guilt.  For the most part Kelly did mean well, even if she sometimes came across a bit heavy handed.

“Well, that’s not exactly Plan A,” Mckenzie said, straightening her sweater, her light tone a mere illusion given the nerves jumping in her
stomach.

Kelly raised a resigned hand.  “Well, I can see you’re determined to go through with this, so I’ll just get out of your way.”  She stood, but before exiting the room, she paused, her gaze seeking Mckenzie’s.  “Just do me a favor.  Be careful.”

“Now that is Plan A.”  Mckenzie managed a smile.  Like most little sisters, Kelly could be a royal pain in the ass, but also like most sisters, she did on occasion manage to say the right thing.

By the time Sawyer arrived ten minutes later, Mckenzie’s ‘what have I gotten myself into’ thoughts hadn’t been soothed in the slightest.  Like her, Sawyer had dressed casually in jeans and a denim shirt, and when she asked where they were going, he just smiled and escorted her to his truck.  Given Fallen Springs was a fairly small town; Sawyer had never felt comfortable driving some big, expensive sports car.  He owned several but usually only drove them when he was making personal appearances. 

Streetlights flashed by as they drove towards the outskirts of town.  As awkward silence threatened, Mckenzie ventured to ask Sawyer about his latest book.  Sawyer’s series about a teenaged superhero had hit best sellers lists all over the world.  Mckenzie had read every one.

“So I have to ask,” she said, resisting the nervous urge to toy with the strap of her purse.  “Who is Jazz going to take to the prom?  Callie or Jasmine?”

Jazz was the hero of Sawyer’s books.

“To tell you the truth, I haven’t decided,” he admitted, steering his truck down a side street that featured neatly arranged bungalows, and kids playing Tag beneath a streetlight.  “Eventually he’s going to end up with Callie, but right now he’s pretty infatuated with Jasmine.”

The topic of Jazz carried them past the city limits.  Mckenzie also asked him if Jazz ever discovers who his real father, but Sawyer just smiled.  That was the most closely guarded secret in the superhero series, and she honestly hadn’t expected an answer.

After taking a country road for several miles, leaving the landscape of the city behind, Sawyer pulled into a long driveway bordered with trees on both sides.  Fields surrounded the drive and several horses grazed nearby.

“Where are we?” she asked, unable to see much beyond Sawyer’s headlights.  Wisconsin country roads were notoriously poorly light.

“I bought a cabin out here a year or so ago, and I’ve been fixing it up here and there.  It’s finally livable so I stay out here when I’m writing.  There are fewer distractions out here than there are in town.” 

Sawyer’s truck bumped over a rough patch of drive, and a few moments later he parked in front of a two story cabin.  Although calling it a cabin tended to imply that it was modest, but from what Mckenzie could see, there wasn’t much that was modest about this place.

Two stories high, the cabin’s A shaped construction and large picture windows inspired a major wow factor.  The façade itself was a combination of wood and stone that blended neatly with the landscape.  Twin lamp
posts stood sentry on the corners of the lawn illuminating the neatly trimmed grass, along with the picturesque stepping stone walk.  The front porch wrapped around to one side, and comfortable seats were placed at various points.  And although it was difficult to see much in the dark, Mckenzie suspected the body water she had spotted just beyond the cabin’s boundaries was a private lake. 

“I thought we could eat on the back deck since its warm,” he said, leading the way up the walk, the cobbled stones slightly uneven beneath their feet.  “I would have taken you to a restaurant, but I didn’t want to give the press anything more to talk about than they already have.”

She refrained from pointing out that the press wouldn’t have anything to talk about if Sawyer hadn’t fabricated an engagement. 

The inside of the cabin was just as impressive as the outside given the front wall and its windows extended up to the second floor, which featured a stone fireplace between two of the largest windows.  The main living area contained several comfortable looking pieces of furniture including several recliners and a tapestry covered sofa.  Various lamps, knickknacks and side tables added atmosphere and comfort to the space. 

Hardwood flooring led the way to the dining and kitchen areas, where again everything was updated although the higher end stainless steel appliances were probably rarely used as she remembered Sawyer’s aversion to cooking.  Sawyer explained the cabin had four bedrooms and three bathroom_s, a laundry room, and a two and half car garage.  Mckenzie
had noticed the garage after stepping out of the truck.

After a brief tour, he led the way to the back deck where he’d touched a lighter to four long stemmed candles claiming that the back light would attract too many bugs.  The aroma from the candles combined with the scent of pine enhanced the outdoorsy feel, reminding her vaguely of summer camp with hopefully less mosquitoes, and he offered her a seat at a wrought iron outdoor dining table.

He set out Chinese take-out, apparently remembering her preference to sweet and sour chicken, and then poured glasses of red wine.  Seated on the deck, Mckenzie couldn’t deny it was a gorgeous night for dining outside as the temperature was mild and the breeze was light.  But the nerves whispering in her ears, reminded her she hadn’t been alone with him in three years, and her thoughts weren’t exactly conducive to maintaining her distance. 

During dinner they continued to discuss his books, and he asked her about her college classes.  Although Mckenzie often worked as a model, now at the age of twenty-five she wanted something a bit more stable in her life and was pursuing a degree in Art Education. 

“Here,” he said, after he cleared away the remains of their meal.  He had turned down her invitation to assist in the cleanup.  “Come sit with me.” 

He held out his hand, and Mckenzie, seeing no reason to refuse despite the sudden rise in her blood pressure, joined him on the wide padded bench situated to take advantage of the amazing lake views.

“I should probably tell you that it wasn’t me who told the press you and I were getting married,” he said, sipping at his wine.

Confused, her gaze lifted to his.

“It was my mother,” he went on.  “She’s been ill, and she’s gotten confused.  And sometimes she thinks you and I are still together.”

“I didn’t know your mother was ill.”  Despite the fact that she and Sawyer lived in the same town, over the past few years Mckenzie’s selective hearing in regards to information about his currently lifestyle had admittedly grown.  After all, why listen to updates when the very mention of his name still stung.

“She had a stroke seven, maybe eight months ago.  The therapists have done wonders, but I don’t think she’ll ever be back to what she used to be.”  He swished the wine in his glass, his saddened expression tugging at her heart.

“I’m so sorry, Sawyer.  I didn’t know.”  She had always liked Sawyer’s mother.  His father was another story, but his mother was a good person.  It tore at her to think the vibrant woman had taken ill.

“There’s no way you could have known.  I’ve done my best to keep the press away from her because she does get confused.  Although I have to admit I’m not sorry she told them we were engaged.  At least you’re talking to me now.”

His comment reminded Mckenzie of the real reason she had agreed to dinner, although she didn’t really need any reminders.

“Were you serious about our seeing each other again?” she ventured, focusing on the planks of the wooden deck instead of him.

“Of course I’m serious.”  He tucked an arm around her shoulders, and it was a bit unsettling at how familiar his touch seemed even after all this time.  “Why would you think I wasn’t?”

“Because before things ended, we were pretty awful to each other.”  She kept her comment vague not wanting to dredge up unpleasant memories.  As mad as she had been at him these past few years, screaming at each other wouldn’t solve anything.  She had blamed him for most of what went wrong, but she had to take her share in the blame.  It took two people to maintain a relationship, and often times it took two people to destroy one.

“I know,” he said, his fingers casually kneading her shoulder, his tone soft, undemanding.  “We can’t change what happened in the past, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try to have a future.”

Mckenzie tilted her wine glass, watching the fluid flow to one side.  “I’m not sure that’s possible.” 

“Well, it won’t be possible if we don’t try.”  His calm, confident tone struck an uneasy chord.

“And that’s another thing,” she said, tapping down her frustration.  She understood he wanted to have a rational, non-confrontational conversation, and she got that, but his -  we can make this work if we want to - attitude wasn’t what this situation needed, either.  “You’re making it sound all so
easy.  Like all we have to do is admit everything went wrong, and it will be fine.  But it’s not that simple.”

“I know it isn’t, babe,” he said, the shift in his tone assured her he shared her frustration_.  “But we have to start somewhere.”

“And where would we start?  I mean, what if there’s nothing left to fix?” 

Those words had clogged in the back of her throat since she talked to him at the bar last night.  She would have preferred to choke them down, pretend they didn’t exist and gone on with her life.  But she had done just that three years ago, and she still wondered if she had done the right thing.

“Well, that’s what I’d like to find out, and I think you feel the same otherwise I don’t think you would have agreed to have dinner with me.”  He paused, imbibing in another sip of wine.  “I’m not wrong, am I?”