Martin Millar - The Good Fairies of New York.html (27 page)

'But what a terrible trauma,' said Dinnie. 'I feel awful.'

'It's worse for her,' said the nurse.

'Will she be better now?'

Apparently not. She might have another serious attack tomorrow, or in ten minutes' time.

FORTY-TWO

Dinnie caught a cab back to 4th Street to pick up some belongings for Kerry. Being concerned about her, he did not resent the fare. Love can change anything. He let himself in with her key, packed a bag, and called over to the theatre just as Cal's play was getting under way. Without pausing to watch, he hurried on upstairs.

Cal's play was exactly the disaster he had expected it to be. The unrehearsed replacements forgot their lines, the file:///Users/lisa/Downloads/Martin%20Millar%20-%20The%20Good%20Fairies%20of%20New%20York.html

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emergency tape of background music kept blaring out in mid-scene and the remaining original actors crept

nervously around the stage, expecting at any moment to be attacked by bag ladies or fairies.

The small audience giggled and the three judges, all local artists, writhed in embarrassment.

'I knew the standard would be low,' they whispered to each other, 'but this is a disgrace.'

Upstairs Dinnie washed and changed quickly. He yawned. He had to return to the hospital but a wave of tiredness threatened to overcome him. Spying his fiddle on the bed, he had an urge to revive himself with a quick tune.

He picked it up and let go with a strong version of 'Tulloch-gorum'.

Immediately a moonbow sprang into the theatre downstairs and screaming fairies poured in from all directions.

These were the last skirmishes of the battle in Central Park, a battle which had turned out to be not so fierce after all. The propaganda leaflets, prepared by Aelis with all the skills of a born marketing genius, had roused deep, hidden feelings in the ranks of the English army. Denied access to outside information for so long, the strong and simple arguments in the leaflets went straight to their hearts.

'Why
do
we work twelve hours a day for little wages? We used to be free to do anything we wanted.'

'Why
do
we have to worship this horrible new god? I liked our old Goddess.'

'Why
do
we let Tala and a few thugs rule over us?'

'And what are we doing here, fighting other fairies?'

The ranks of the army began to break up as the- fairies, roused from a nightmare, realised the stupidity of their situation. Foot soldiers everywhere refused to advance as ordered. The barons, themselves dubious of Tala's

power, felt their authority over their serfs start to crumble.

The situation, however, was far from resolved. Tala's large group of mercenaries showed no inclination to change sides. Nor did the Royal Guard, led by Marion his stepdaughter. Things could still have been disastrous had not Aelric, floating down on the breeze, suddenly spied the triple-bloomed Welsh poppy in Magenta's shopping bag

and snatched it up.

'Change sides, lovely Marion,' he said. 'Join the peasants' revolt and this rare triple-bloomed Welsh poppy, in red, orange and yellow, will be yours. Your alphabet will be complete.'

Marion looked at the poppy, quickly scanned a propaganda leaflet, and changed sides, taking the Royal Guard with her. The battle was over and New York was safe.

The only ones not to give in were the mercenaries. Seeing that all was lost but unwilling to surrender, they

magicked a moonbow to escape.

'You have to admire them,' said Magenta, as they sped away. 'They are good mercenaries.'

Dinnie, hurrying downstairs, was surprised to hear such a commotion from the theatre. Presuming that the

audience were throwing things at the stage, he could not resist a quick look.

Inside there was chaos. Although Dinnie could not know it, his rendering of 'Tullochgorum' had attracted the

moonbow, and the mercenaries had barged into the performance followed by a fierce assortment of pursuers.

Confused by the battle in this strange city, and never having seen
A Midsummer Night's Dream
before, the mercenaries were horrified to find themselves surrounded by gigantic fairies. Assuming that these on-stage extras wandering round in cardboard wings were in fact part of the enemy, the mercenaries materialised to fight them, which forced their pursuers to do the same.

Actors fled in panic as fairies of all colours fought and flew round the stage. Cal screamed for everyone to leave him alone. The judges gaped in wonder in the back row.

Dinnie noticed the three judges, and thought briefly that one of them looked rather familiar, but his attention was diverted by Heather pounding down on to his shoulder.

'Hello, Dinnie,' she screamed in his ear. 'Just mopping-up operations. Nothing to worry about.'

She gave him a brief explanation of what had happened, but Dinnie paid little attention.

'You dumb fairies,' he shouted. 'Kerry is sick in hospital. I'm going there now.'

He left, not caring either way about their stupid fighting. He was pleased, though, that Cal's play had been such a spectacular disaster.

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FORTY-THREE

With the battle over the fairies partied on the East Village rooftops. Heather and Morag were absent. As soon as they could they had rushed off to visit Kerry in hospital.

They told her the events of the momentous day, and arranged flowers in her hair.

Kerry propped herself up on her elbows.

'Touch my fingers,' she said. 'I need some strength.'

The MacLeod sisters had got good and drunk along with everyone else during the afternoon, but as friends of

Kerry they had some interest in the competition and floated down to eavesdrop on the judges.

They were surprised to learn that they knew one of the judges. It was Joshua, recruited from the streets as part of the 'Art in the Community Programme'.

'They will be saying what a grim disaster Cal's play was,' said Ailsa, with certainty. 'It's an awfie shame that Kerry could not enter her alphabet.'

A cab drew up outside the theatre. A skeletal-looking Kerry emerged in a blue dressing gown and yellow fringed waistcoat. Dinnie helped her up the steps.

Much too ill to have left her hospital bed, Kerry had come for her flower.

'Where is this Aelrie?' she demanded. Seonaid MacLeod flew up to the roof and reappeared with Aelrie, who held Marion's hand. Marion had the flower wrapped around her beaded black hair.

'Give,' said Kerry, holding out her hand. Marion unwrapped the flower and handed it over.

Kerry's face was radiant with pleasure. She handed the bloom to Dinnie.

'Enter my alphabet in the competition,' she instructed. The fairies clapped and cheered at this act of heroism by someone so gravely ill.

Kerry collapsed on to the ground. She was taken back to hospital and Dinnie notified the judges that the Ancient Celtic Flower Alphabet was now ready for inspection.

Magenta marched triumphantly into East 4th Street. Her mighty generalship had won another stupendous victory

and she had come to join in the celebrations.

Everywhere in the street fairies were drinking, partying and fucking; and it was in the aftermath of this gathering that the first mixed-race fairies were born.

The MacLeods, confidently expecting triumph for Kerry's flower alphabet, were dismayed by an unexpected turn

of events. They learned that
A
Midsummer Night's Dream
had not gone down so badly after all.

'The most amazing on-stage effects we have ever seen,' said the judges.

'Quite staggering the way the piece evoked the world of fairies. I could have sworn they were really there. Of course, some of it was rather ragged but I have to admit I was very impressed.'

'The flower alphabet is a beautiful and unique piece of Celtic folklore . . . but does it compare to such a vibrant rendition of Shakespeare?'

'Oh no,' groaned Rhona. 'Kerry must not lose after half killing herself to come from the hospital. And feeding us all these oatcakes.'

Heather and Morag appeared back from the hospital. They all had an emergency meeting in the deli, but no

solution presented itself.

'We could bribe the judges.'

'What with?'

'We'll rob a bank.'

This idea was quickly vetoed.

Sheilagh MacPherson sought Magenta out to thank her for returning the fiddle and helping them in the battle,

proclaiming her a friend of the MacPhersons for life. The intoxicated Chief of the Clan clapped Magenta heartily file:///Users/lisa/Downloads/Martin%20Millar%20-%20The%20Good%20Fairies%20of%20New%20York.html

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on the back and told her about the latest progress in the judging.

'What a determined young woman that Kerry is,' said Magenta admiringly. 'I will have her in my army any time.'

'Well she won't be winning this competition if she is a friend of yours,' pronounced Joshua, appearing beside her.

'Because I am a judge. And after I have awarded the prize to Cal I am going to come and beat you to death.'

FORTY-FOUR

The young woman is undecided, but the young man liked Cal's play best,' announced Morag, back from spying on

the judges.

'And Joshua will pick Cal,' wailed Heather. 'He'll win.'

They sat in the theatre on top of a fake pillar, part of the Athenian court. Dinnie slouched nearby. Sheilagh MacPherson and Agnes MacKintosh fluttered up unsteadily.

'We know of your problem,' they said. 'And we are sympathetic because we understand that Kerry has been a good friend to stray fairies here and this man Cal has treated her badly. We do not like boyfriends who act badly. We will help with part of the problem.'

'How?'

'Are you familiar with
A
Midsummer Night's Dream?'

They were, a little.

'Then you will know,' said Agnes, 'that it involves a magic herb which, once spread on the eyes, makes the person fall in love with the first person he sees. Dinnie, fellow MacKintosh, bring me the herb.'

Dinnie, momentarily hopeful, shook his head sadly. The Chief of the Clan was even more stupid that the rest of them. She apparently did not know the difference between a stage prop and real life.

'It's only a weed from the sidewalk,' he said.

'To you, maybe. To mighty chiefs of Scottish fairy clans, not necessarily. Bring it here.'

Dinnie found and brought the weed. Agnes and Sheilagh flew shakily across to Joshua and touched it to his eyes.

They propelled him with a few gentle sword jabs towards Magenta.

He screwed up his eyes and opened them.

'Magenta. I have always loved you.'

'Then vote for Kerry in the competition.'

'Of course.'

'Have some Fitzroy cocktail,' said Magenta, slipping her hand into his. 'I will share the recipe with you.'

There was now one vote each. The young woman, a local sculptor, was still pondering.

'I can tell she liked the play best,' sighed the psychic Mairi.

'You stupid fairies,' muttered Dinnie as they passed him in the hospital waiting room. 'All the excitement you caused made Kerry ill.'

'Nonsense,' replied Heather. 'Crohn's disease strikes down many people who have never even seen a fairy.

However, as you are now being nice to Kerry, I may yet rob a bank to pay your rent. We're going to visit her

now.'

'It isn't visiting time yet.'

'An important difference between fairies and humans is that we are small and invisible and you are not. We don't have to wait for visiting time.'

Dinnie glowered at them. Beside him in the waiting room were two other young men to see Kerry and he was

jealous.

Inside, Kerry was weak but pleased to see the fairies. Morag hopped on to the bed.

'You won the prize.'

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Kerry let out a small whoop of delight.

'Dinnie did it in the end,' announced Heather, proud of her fellow MacKintosh. 'At the vital moment he walked up to the last judge, introduced himself politely and asked her if, as well as being a local sculptor, she could possibly be the well-known Linda, star of the hottest two-girl phone sex in town. She was thrilled to be recognised,

particularly when Dinnie said what a great fan of hers he was and asked for her autograph. After that she was putty in his hands and voted for you.

'The Community Arts Prize is now yours, and well deserved. Cal will regret not teaching you the guitar break

from "Bad Girl" for the rest of his life.'

Morag muscled her way back into the conversation.

'There are hordes of men outside waiting for dates with you,' she said. 'I would recommend playing the field for a while. In the meantime, let me introduce my friends.'

She gestured to a group of fairies behind her, each of whom greeted Kerry politely.

'This is Sheilagh MacPherson and this is Agnes MacKintosh and this is Jean MacLeod. They are our Clan Chiefs

and as such have great powers of healing. With them is Flora MacGillvray, a healer renowned throughout

Scotland.

'This is Donal, a friend of Maeve's. He is the healer of the O'Brien tribe and famous in Ireland for his skill. This is Cheng Tin-hung, healer of the Chinese, Lucretia, healer from the Italians, and Aba, healer from the Ghanaians. All of them possess great skill and great reputations.

'It is the finest collection of fairy physicians ever assembled. Do not mind the powerful aroma of whisky. Even extreme intoxication does not lessen the powers of a fairy healer.