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Morag had only wanted Kerry to pretend, but the fairy was not sure any more. She suspected that Kerry had

enjoyed herself too much on her last date.

If Kerry had really fallen for Dinnie she was not letting on, but Morag wondered if this might be to avoid

upsetting her. After all, if Kerry really did love Dinnie, the fiddle would have been Heather's by right.

By popular vote Aelric was deposed as rebel leader, accused of spending too much time dreaming about the King's stepdaughter.

'A bit less dreaming and a bit more planning and we might not be trapped in Tintagel Castle.'

Their situation was bad. Inside the ruins of the castle the rebels had few supplies and were fast growing hungry.

Outside, the forty-two mercenaries, now reunited, patrolled the perimeter and flew overhead, kept out only by Aelis's fast-weakening spell of mystification. If any mercenary tried to set foot in the castle he suddenly and quite unaccountably found himself heading in the wrong direction, ending up confused and dizzy and back where he

started. But the mercenaries, being fairies, understood this sort of spell and knew that Aelis could not keep it up for long, particularly if she had no food.

Werferth sent a message to the King telling him that the rebellion would soon be at an end.

Heather and Morag sat on top of the sign over a gun shop, glowering at each other. Heather proclaimed loudly that it was not her fault.

'Yes it is,' retorted Morag. 'You and your hopeless addiction to flirting with any fairy not actually certified dead.'

They had met Magenta outside the bar. She admitted she had had the poppy from Johnny Thunders via the

Chinese fairies, but claimed that after taking it out to admire it on Spring Street she had been approached by a winged Roman soldier who asked if he could trade with her for the flower, as he knew it would be the perfect gift for a blonde Caledonian girl he was in love with. He had paid Magenta a good price, and departed.

'In other words,' Morag sneered at Heather, 'some Italian fairy now has the poppy as a means of getting underneath your kilt. Honestly, Heather, the trouble your sex drive has cost us over the years is just ridiculous.'

'Well, what about you and the Chinese fairies?' retorted Heather.

'They are all fairies of great good taste,' sniffed Morag, 'and would not rob a sick young woman of a vital flower merely as a ploy for bedding a well-respected visitor from Scotland.'

Heather sniffed back at her. 'Well, anyway. All I have to do is wait for Cesare or Luigi to arrive and give me the flower. Then Kerry can have it back.'

Brannoc was horrified to learn of the incident on East 4th Street, particularly the part where Heather punched Okailey in the mouth. Apparently Okailey would not have minded so much except she was being carried along the street by the tide of battle and couldn't get in a good blow in return.

'Well, our problems are solved,' announced Maeve, fluttering down to join them.

'You found some Irish fairies?' said Padraig eagerly.

'No,' admitted Maeve, 'I didn't. I don't know why, but there don't seem to be any on this island.'

'I think the Irish communities are probably in Brooklyn or the Bronx,' suggested Ocarco.

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'Possibly. I have not had time to hunt in foreign countries. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I have written to my clan asking them to come over the water.'

Brannoc looked perplexed.

'You've done what?'

A young couple seeking peace caused a rare disturbance in the clearing, wandering in with two bottles of beer and an anchovy pizza, and forcing the fairies to withdraw into the bushes.

'I've written to them. I've just posted the letter and they should be here in a few days.'

Brannoc's wings shook with laughter.

'That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard. How is your letter going to get there? You can't send a letter to fairies through the humans' postal system.'

Maeve was indignant.

'You might not be able to in England, but you can in Ireland. The Irish have great respect for their fairies. I addressed it to the O'Brien fairies, just South of Grian Mach, Brugh na Boinne. It will get there fine, you'll see.'

Disgusted with this further piece of stupidity on Maeve's part, Brannoc departed with Ocarco to make love in a tree-top, as a change from under a bush.

He had heard from a squirrel who heard from a sparrow who heard from a seagull who heard from an albatross

that the Cornish troops were almost ready to march, and apart from making love while there was still time, he could think of nothing else to do.

'Will the English troops trouble us?' asked Aba, up in Harlem, 'or will they leave us alone if they capture Petal and Tulip?'

'I doubt they will leave us alone,' said Okailey. 'Once these imperialists reach your country, they never go.'

Cesare flew smartly up to the gun-shop sign.

'Heather, I have a present for you.'

He handed over a flagon of whisky and a pouch full of magic mushrooms.

'Where's the poppy?'

'The poppy? I traded it to a Chinese fairy for these. He wanted it for some girl he's met. I thought you'd like them better.'

Heather moaned and covered her eyes with her wings. Morag batted Cesare down off the sign and flew home in

disgust.

Dinnie was mightily disgusted. He was being forced to quit his apartment and Heather flatly refused to help,

saying that she would not procure money for a traitor to the clan.

With only nine dollars left in the world Dinnie did the only thing possible, and went to buy some beer.

'Things are not so bad, Kerry. I expect a Chinese fairy to bring me the poppy any minute. I understand he is

fatally attracted to me and will do anything to please me.'

Kerry was joyful at this news, although not at much else. The judging was only a few days away and she was not feeling well enough to carry on. Her insides hurt and diarrhoea flowed into her colostomy bag.

Morag had been keen to ask about her feelings for Dinnie,, but in view of Kerry's poor state of health, she let it pass.

Morag had had one very unsatisfactory discussion about the matter with the MacLeods.

'Whoever the fiddle belongs to, you are not the best fiddler in Scotland,' declared Ailsa. 'Everyone knows that the best young fiddler in Scotland is Wee Maggie MacGowan. She would have won the junior fiddling contest no

bother if she hadn't been down with the measles that week.'

'Wee Maggie MacGowan?' Morag was outraged at the suggestion. 'She is nothing but a wee clipe, always telling

tales on people and coorying up to her fiddle teacher.'

'None the less, she is the best fiddler.'

This just went to prove how weak-brained the MacLeods were. Wee Maggie MacGowan indeed!

Kerry, despite her poor state of health, selected a new mirror-studded waistcoat and made to leave, saying that she file:///Users/lisa/Downloads/Martin%20Millar%20-%20The%20Good%20Fairies%20of%20New%20York.html

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felt like a breath of fresh air.

Morag, well known for her psychic insights, followed silently.

THIRTY-FOUR

Aelis met a thoughtful-looking Aelric at the bottom of a ruined turret. He had been out scouting for some secret means of escape. 'Well?'

Aelric shook his head.

'No sign of a triple-bloomed poppy anywhere.'

Aelis fluttered her wings in frustration.

'You were meant to be looking for a way out. My spell will last for approximately one hour longer.'

'Right,' said Aelric. 'A way out. I forgot about that. Let me think for a while.'

Heather and Morag sat on the railing of a tiny park on 14th Street, discussing how bad things were. This was a popular occupation among fairies these days.

Four young prostitutes were ranged along the sidewalk.

'Only twenty dollars,' they said to men passing by.Tll stay a long time. Only twenty dollars.'

Business did not seem to be good and the prostitutes slouched dejectedly against the railings.

From any point of view the affair of Dinnie and Kerry had gone disastrously wrong. Morag, following Kerry

across the street, had found Dinnie naked on the floor with the assistant from the health food shop. Kerry was not pleased and now lay unhappily on cushions playing her guitar.

Dinnie protested to the disgusted Heather that it was all a mistake and he still really loved Kerry, but the fairy, after a few cutting insults concerning his probable sexual performance and what an unimpressive sight he made in the shower, had simply packed her things and left.

'I did not spend all that time making you attractive to Kerry for you to fuck the first person to show any interest.'

A Chinese fairy called Shau-Ju had later appeared with a present for Morag.

'At last,' breathed Morag, nudging Kerry. 'The poppy.'

Shau-Ju produced a flagon of whisky from his bag and some magic mushrooms. When questioned by a less than

pleased Morag, he protested hotly that it was not his fault he no longer had the poppy. Four Italian fairies led by Cesare had robbed him of it on the way here. Back home, Shau-Ju's kin were already strapping on their swords.

'We started another race war,' moaned Morag.

'One more probably won't hurt,' said Heather.

'Fine,' said Kerry, crossly. 'You all just have fun with the damn thing. Don't mind me.'

Heather and Morag thought that really it was not their fault if they were so irresistible that other fairies committed crimes to bring them presents, but did not say so to Kerry.

Later that evening Mairi, who as far as they were concerned had far too many second sights for her own good, had prophesied that any time now a vast army of evil Cornish fairies would descend on New York.

'Looking for Petal and Tulip, I suppose,' said Heather, eyeing the prostitutes.

'I wonder what happened to them? We haven't seen any sign of them since you got us all separated.'

Petal and Tulip rode down 14th Street on a 1938 Buick.

'We found you!' they exclaimed, fluttering over to the railings.

Johnny Thunders was on the verge of giving up. He had hunted all of New York and nowhere was there any trace

of a 1958 Gibson Tiger Top. And yet... he was continually drawn back to East 4th Street. There was something

about this place, something vaguely familiar. If he concentrated he could almost feel the presence of the guitar.

'Is that really suitable music for the court of Theseus, King of Athens?' queried an actor in the theatre.

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Cal looked down at his guitar.

'Course it is,' he replied. 'Why not?'

He waved away the objection. With only three days till the staging of
A Midsummer Night's Dream
and his Titania still in a state of shock, he was in no mood to listen to complaints about his stage music.

Tulip still had a little difficulty adjusting to Morag's appearance. He had not seen anything quite like it since the last Glastonbury festival in England, and even the young and old hippies he saw there were not quite as bright.

Heather, after one day at Kerry's, was not far behind, and when she moved now the bells at the bottom of her kilt jingled merrily.

The explanations about what had been going on that flowed between the four were very confusing, but after they had made some sort of sense of it Petal and Tulip explained that with the English army ready to cross the Atlantic, New York's fairies must put aside their arguments and present a united defence.

'Otherwise there is no hope at all. We know all about the fight in your street. Brannoc and Ocarco and Okailey are furious. But even so, we are going to see the Italians and the Chinese and try to mend things.'

'That might be difficult,' said Heather and Morag in unison. 'Try and avoid personal relationships.'

Aelis could no longer maintain her spell of mystification. Tintagel Castle lay open to invasion. Outside, the mercenaries' dogs sensed this and howled. The twenty-five rebels huddled miserably underneath the castle, in the cavern men called Merlin's Cave. They were hungry and in rags.

'So much for the peasants' revolution.'

Aelric lifted his head.

'Of course. I remember. Something I read in the library about Chairman Mao. He one time saved the day with a

very long swim.'

'And?'

'We will swim our way out of here,' declared Aelric, a little of his former spirit returning. 'Find a river. Failing that, a well.'

The two Scots fairies took Petal and Tulip to Kerry's apartment. When they explained their mission, Ailsa was sceptical. 'How are you two going to reconcile the warring tribes?'

Petal and Tulip did not exactly know, but claimed to have some skills of diplomacy, as their uncle was a king.

'You could try being cute and appealing,' suggested Heather. 'Always works for me.'

'Could you bring help from Scotland?' asked Tulip, relating the tale of Maeve and the letter. Neither Heather nor Morag thought this would work for them.

'The village postman in Cruickshank is awful grumpy these days. Everyone keeps blaming him for the price of

stamps going up. I wouldn't trust him to deliver a letter to the fairies.'

'It's no problem,' declared Ailsa. 'You have the means of magicking a moonbow home, don't you? We'll just go

and get help.'

Heather and Morag made a hasty exit, saying that they felt it was their duty to introduce Petal and Tulip to the Chinese and Italians, and also see if they could find Kerry's flower.

'Now you've got us into another mess with your lies and stories,' complained Heather, a complaint which naturally developed into a full-blown argument as to which clan was most likely to bribe the judges at a junior fiddling contest, the MacKintoshes or the MacPhersons, and could easily have led to blows.