Masquerade Secrets (16 page)

She must despise him. And he wouldn’t blame her. He couldn’t.

He wanted to head back to London immediately, but that would only make matters worse. He had come to appreciate Aubrey more than anyone else in his life. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her friendship.

What was it about her that drove him a little mad? It hadn’t started out as an overwhelming feeling, more like a small breeze that quickly evolved into a hurricane.

That’s what had happened. He had finally sunk.

What was it about her that appealed to him? He admired her, certainly. She was bright, caring and had a sense of humor he could respect. But there was something more. There was something deep inside her that screamed of dark and sultry nights. Whispered of nights filled with passions that he had never known.

Could it be possible that no one had ever seen it in her before? She stayed along the walls during parties, sufficiently taking herself out of running for suitors. But she had so much to offer.

Any man would kneel down and give thanks to the Lord for such a precious gift as she. He knew he would.

He let out another oath before yanking on his dinner jacket. He shouldn’t be thinking of her. He needed to shut her out of his mind and think of the masquerade woman, as he so often told himself.

His heart clenched, and he tried to ignore the ache in his chest as he left his room. Lady Aubrey wasn’t meant for him. And he needed to stop thinking of her.

He just didn’t know if he could.

Laughter echoed down the halls that led to the parlor where the guests were gathering before dinner. Several men’s chuckles could be heard above the rest, and he knew they shared a common joke. He bet it was the kind that was whispered beneath their breaths.

He was wrong.

Entering the room, his eyes immediately locked onto Aubrey, and his shock had him taking a step in retreat. Her enticing form showcased in a sky blue silk made him think of warm, summer days. Her energy vibrated through the room as her pink lips curved slyly at one of the guests. Laughter broke out again as the men who circled her relished her reaction to their joke.

She looked transformed, beautiful. Looking at her now, he would have never guessed that she had been a wallflower. She commanded the attention in the room, entertained the guests as if she were the hostess.

Her eyes sparkled with a hidden secret, but her cheeks blushed becomingly as if she wanted to tell that same secret to someone special. And he knew that every man circling her wanted to be that special someone. She held herself strait with pride, showcasing her curves with the unabashed shyness of a woman who knew she was beautiful and expected others to worship at her feet.

Oh, how he wanted to.

He was struck down with wanting her. He felt like a man who had gone without a week of water and was suddenly thrown into a magical pond. He wanted to lap her up, steal her away and keep her in his bed for a month.

As he looked around, he saw that more than one man had been thinking the same thing. He wouldn’t be surprised if Lady Aubrey received more than one marriage proposal this evening.

Hot, flaring jealousy coursed through him at the thought of anyone else having her, touching her, enjoying her laughter.

He wanted her for himself, wanted to pick her up and cart her away from the other men’s lust-filled eyes to a place where only he could be with her. But he couldn’t. The frustration that raged inside was intolerable. He cursed the day he went to Lady Templeton’s masquerade. If it hadn’t been for his promise, he would already have Lady Aubrey in his arms.

He walked into the room finally, moving to a corner where he could watch her discreetly. True, they were friends now, but he wasn’t about to march to her side and commandeer her attention.

“Wathersby, will you not come join us?” Sir Douglas asked, currently among the men of admiring suitors. “Lady Aubrey has been comparing society’s rules with the rules of nature. She is under the impression that animals have it right and that we have erred in our rules of propriety.”

The glittering laughter that floated across Aubrey’s lips seemed to enchant the men around her. “That’s not quite what I said, Sir Douglas. What I meant to imply was that an animal’s way of finding a mate is much more practical than how society tends to go about it. But perhaps we should change the subject before we break another rule of propriety by discussing mating habits before dinner.” The men chuckled around her again, their attention completely on her.

Enjoying herself, she seemed completely at ease. At least until he noticed that she was toying with her ring, making the jewel continually circle around her finger. Seeing the slight discomfort intrigued him. Had she been doing that before he entered the room?

Was it possible that she was as affected by him as he was by her? He wanted to think so, wanted to know what was in her heart, but it wasn’t right. He had no claim to her.

“Will you not join us, Your Grace?” she politely echoed the request, but when her eyes slyly shifted to him, he felt something quake inside him. There had been something so familiar in the look, something on the edge of his mind. Had she looked at him that way before, or was he thinking of someone else?

As he watched her laugh lightly at another joke, he wanted to groan as her figure shifted in the silk cloth, emphasizing her more feminine curves.

Torture. Watching her weave magic over other men was going to kill him.

A honey-kissed curl teased the creamy skin at her neck, drawing his attention to how slender it was. His eyes traced up, loving the curve of her chin, her rosebud lips, and her pert nose that led to eyes that looked as green as freshly cut grass after a light rain.

When her lips curved again, he was shot through with lightning.

It couldn’t be.

Honey-blonde hair, emerald eyes, medium height. That was a perfect description of Aubrey. How could he have never seen it before?

Leaning forward in the chair, his eyes raked down the rest of her body, comparing it to what he remembered of the masquerade woman. It could be her.

But no, she would have said something earlier. Told him that she was the one he was looking for.

Thinking of all the times he had spoken with her since the ball, danced even, he couldn’t believe it. He would have known. Would have seen it.

Her eyes met his again, her lips curved as if she knew a secret.

Bloody hell.

Aubrey was the masquerade woman. She was the woman he had been looking for.

All at once, the laughter was out of Aubrey’s eyes, the smile wiped off her face, her jovial features replaced by pure fear.

She knew that he had figured it out.

Watching her make her excuses to her audience, she quickly slipped from the room. He left only a few seconds after. If she thought she was about to get away from him, she was mistaken.

She was his. Only his. And he didn’t care who saw it.

Moving quickly, he cornered her in the hallway leading to the staircase. He caught her hand, whipping her around and used his body to trap her against a wall, effectively caging her in his arms.

“What do you think you are doing?” she gasped out, trying to play as if she didn’t know what he wanted.

“You know exactly what I’m doing, Aubrey.”

He didn’t give her another moment to speak, to voice an objection, he just took. Capturing her lips, he claimed her. He couldn’t be gentle, couldn’t be tame with the feelings that were erupting within him. The frustrations he had felt over the past few weeks poured through him as he swept into her mouth, branding her, binding her to him.

He wouldn’t let up, wouldn’t let go. All that she had put him through over the past few weeks—wanting her, denying himself because of a promise he made to the masquerade woman. Tearing himself apart with want for one woman because of duty to another had finally pushed him over the edge.

It had been her the entire time.

Her body finally relaxed against his, as swept away by the passion building between them as he was, and he couldn’t help but take her a bit deeper.

When she shuddered against him, he knew she was lost.

Pulling away, he looked into her eyes, gripping her upper arms as if he couldn’t bear to let her go now that he had found her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The time for pretending was over. Slowly, tears filled her eyes. “I couldn’t.”

“Why not? There were plenty of opportunities.”

She hesitated only slightly. “I was afraid.”

He cursed quietly. “Why? I told you that it didn’t matter to me who you were. I wanted you no matter what.”

“Really? Had I told you that night at Lady Templeton’s masquerade that I was Lady Aubrey, you wouldn’t have cared?” Once she began, it was impossible to hold it back. “You wouldn’t have cared that the woman you had just declared yourself to was a wallflower? A woman that had been shunned by every other man in that room?” Her voice lowered, dripping with disgust. “A woman that you took pity on and danced with because you were courting her friend?”

His brows stitched together. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, you know what I’m referring to. Every time you danced with Lady Sera, you danced with me after. Everyone saw it as a gentlemanly gesture and that you pitied me.”

“That’s not true. It never was true.”

“Oh, so you just wanted to dance with me every single time after Lady Sera?”

“Yes.”

The one word seemed to startle her, robbing her of speech.

“I’ll not lie to you and tell you that there was a spark between us before the masquerade. I was a fool, and I know it. But even then, before I got to know you, I enjoyed your company. You are an excellent partner, and I enjoyed the time I spent dancing with you.” He could see his words affected her, touched something deep inside. “As for the rest of what you said, no I wouldn’t have cared that you were a wallflower. Hell, I wouldn’t have cared had you been ruined. I wanted you, needed you. Nothing else mattered to me. I didn’t care about your reputation, your fortune, or your family connections. It was only you who mattered. Nothing else.”

She looked up at him sadly. “You say that now, but this morning you didn’t choose me. You turned away from me, appalled that you had kissed me. You chose
her
. Not me. She’s not real, and you only want me now because you know that I happened to be the girl behind the mask.”

His grip tightened. He could feel her slipping away from him. Closing off the possibility of what he wanted to offer her. “No. I want you, Aubrey. Damn it, I want you.” He kissed her again quickly, filled with all the frustration he was feeling. If there were some way to communicate his feelings for her, he would try any way he could.

Pulling away, leaning his forehead against hers. “You have no idea how I’ve been torturing myself. Unable to break my vow but wanting you more than I ever wanted her.”

She shook her head against his words, forcing back the tears.

“Please. Please, believe me. I want you.”

Hearing the soft patter of steps from down the hall, Aubrey jerked out of his embrace. “I must go before someone sees me.”

“I don’t care who sees us.”

“I do.” She gave him a look filled with regret, and he saw that she didn’t believe him. He only had another few seconds before the person would come upon them.

As she began to ascend the stairs, he grabbed her hand to get her attention. “Come to my room tonight. I need to talk to you about this.”