Master (Chaos Bleeds Book 8) (23 page)

The bubble that had been around her had been popped, and she didn’t know how to get it back.

“What’s going on?” Eva asked.

“Nothing.”

“I don’t know. Something is going on with you, Millie. What’s the matter? You’re usually in your fantasy world.”

Millie sighed. Most of the old ladies at The Skulls visited her, and tried to get her to go out with Baker. He was an amazing guy, sweet, charming, wonderful … and taken. His wife might be dead, but in his heart, he’d always be with his wife, and she didn’t want that, not for herself.

“I’m not always in a fantasy world. I’m sometimes just happy.”

“Sometimes happy but not right now?” Eva asked.

Millie bit her lip, staring up at the woman. Lacey had dyed her hair, and it looked a deep blue, almost black, color. “I like your hair.”

“Answer me, Millie.”

“I don’t know what to say. No, I’m not always happy.”

“What did Baker do?”

“He didn’t do anything. I did everything. He wanted to go on a date, and I don’t want to date a man who’s hung up on his ex-wife.”

“One day he’ll get over her.”

“Really? Do you think people really get over that? If ever given the choice, he’d have her. I’ve talked about this.” She held her hands out, took a deep breath, and forced a smile. “Eva, what would you like today?”

“I’d like for you to come out with me and the girls. Just us girls?”

“Some fun?”

“Fun, wine, food, what do you think?”

“I like that.”

“Good.” Eva smiled at her. “It’ll get better, Millie, I promise it will get better.”

****

“Do you ever think of talking to her?” Annie asked.

Spider stared at his therapist, and wondered why she was asking him that. He spoke all the time about how he felt when it came to Paris. The only reason he was here was because of Devil and Lexie. He’d gone to them to ask for advice.

Devil had told him to get his head out of his ass, to which Lexie slapped him around the back of the head. She’d then turned to Spider, and suggested therapy. This was the same therapist that Paris was seeing. He wondered if she was getting a better result from Paris.

All of his life he’d accomplished shit by doing, not by sitting around, talking about his feelings.

“I try.”

“Tell me what happens.”

“Do you even listen to me?”

Annie held her pen poised over her notes. “I listen to what you tell me. Now I’m asking you as a question.”

“You want me to tell you how I talk to Paris?”

“Yes, it might help if I hear your process, step by step.”

He rolled his eyes, and rubbed his hands together, sitting forward. “I get on my bike determined to talk to her. There’s a lot of stuff that needs to be said, and I know she thinks bad of me. She thinks I don’t want her. I do. I fucking crave her, and being apart from her, it kills me. Knowing my brothers are taking care of her, sickens me. She’s mine, and I should be there for her.” He stopped to take a deep breath. “Then I get to her house, and I see the front door. Only in my head I step back to visiting her once before.”

“The night she was taken?”

“Yeah, the night she was taken, and I freeze up. I look at her house, and I see that I failed her. She was lying on that hospital bed with broken bones, bleeding, infected, and I was scared that I was going to lose her.”

“You love her very much?” Annie asked.

“Yes.”

“Why don’t you call her?”

“What?”

“You’ve got a lot to say. You can’t say it to her face, so why don’t you try calling her?” Annie asked. “It could be a step in the right direction for you?”

“A phone call wouldn’t work,” he said.

“Why not? It’s a start.”

“What I’ve got to say has to be said in person. As far as I’m concerned nothing else will work.”

“Nothing?”

He shook his head.

“The more time that passes, the longer it’s going to take you to build that trust again,” she said.

“Then I’ll wait to build that trust. Annie, I love Paris.”

“If you love her, why are you doing this?” Annie asked.

“Because I need to be the man she deserves more than anything else.”

The rest of the appointment went by in a little haze, and when Spider came out of the building, he grabbed a cigarette, and lit it.

“You’ve started smoking again?” Devil asked.

“No, I’m lap dancing.”

“You’re not doing a lot of that either. Heard you weren’t around Naked Fantasies, and you’d taken yourself off the roster for managing it.”

“Vincent does a better job of it.” They had purchased two of the five buildings that Laura had shown them around. The first one was a rundown, derelict apartment building, and the plan was to build it from the ground up for some luxury apartments. That was the first plan for that building. The second building they had found outside of town was similar to an old warehouse, something like what The Skulls owned. Instead of using it as a training facility or a gym, they were going to use it for storage. Lexie had been looking at a vacant shop within the town. Of course the guys had instantly wanted a sex shop, but Lexie was thinking fashion, or maybe food.

Either one worked for Spider. The clothing stores were at the local mall, which was over thirty minutes away. Piston County needed a clothing store, not just for women but for men as well. He believed it could be a good investment.

Lexie had put the word out, and they even had a local by the name of Natalie Pritchard who had offered up some modern designs. Natalie had graduated from college with a fashion degree. However, demands on her parents’ ranch meant she had to come home and help rather than go and explore her dreams in the big city. Spider had looked over her designs, and they were awesome.

Several of the guys hadn’t wanted to invest in fashion. So, the old ladies banded together and said it would be theirs.

Spider was happy enough with his masculine side that he didn’t need to worry about what it would do owning a fashion shop. He wondered if Paris would like to get involved, and of course, he’d never been able to ask her.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“How was therapy?”

“I don’t think it’s working.”

“Why not?”

“I’m no closer to being with Paris than I when I started. When she was gone, I thought of everything I wanted to do with her when I finally got her back. Now, I spend more time worried in case she’s going to appear where I am, and that’s not me.”

“We’re all having to make changes here,” Devil said.

“What changes are you making?”

“For one, have you noticed that Sasha keeps pranking me? She rested a bucket of water on top of a stick yesterday, and when I opened it, all of it came tumbling down on me. Pussy even got it on his phone so that he could remember it. I tell you, Pussy was bad enough on his own, but now that he has an accomplice, it has gotten a whole lot worse.” Devil shook his head as he rested his hands on his lips.

“You were the one that called her a liability. She’s just getting her own back.”

“She called me old man the other day. The sass of it. Old man.”

Spider laughed. “You’re loving it.”

“I’m loving that I’m getting to see a different side to Sasha. She was always a worry of mine. The club’s protection including that of the old ladies falls to me, and it will always fall to me.”

He was aware that Devil took his job seriously.

“So why are you waiting outside for me?” Spider asked.

“I wanted to talk to you about heading up the rebuilding of the apartment buildings. You were in construction. You know what needs to be done.”

“We’re heading into winter. Not a lot can be done unless they get the main walls, and the roof on. This project is going to be a lengthy one, and I did warn you about that.”

“I get it. What else are you doing, Spider?”

“What do you mean?”

“To some, therapy is the answer, and I get it, I do. To some, they just need to focus on something else to clear their head. You’re the best one for this job.”

Spider took a moment to think about it. The money was the club’s, and if someone did it wrong, it would fall to them to fix it. The guys all had their many talents, but building wasn’t one of them.

“I’ll do it.”

“Good.”

Spider went to leave, but Devil called him back. “We’re having a big dinner on Sunday. Everyone is going to be there. Are you coming?”

“A big dinner? You know me, I wouldn’t miss something like that.”

“Good.”

Devil drove away, and Spider went to the parking lot behind the therapist’s building, and unhooked his bike.

Four months without Andrew, and life had gotten back to normal. The Skulls were growing, and from what he heard Sally had even been fitted with a prosthetic leg. She was in physio, but her life was back on track. She didn’t go to school yet. Whizz and Lacey had her studying from home.

Straddling his bike, Spider rode out of the therapist’s parking lot, and made his way toward Paris’s home. He saw Sinner’s car was parked out front, and Spider parked several feet away. Paris came out of the house, laughing at something Sinner said, as she grabbed a bag from the back of the car. Sinner leaned over, talking to her, and Paris burst out laughing, hitting his shoulder as she did.

The club adored her. He heard several of the brothers talking about her spirit, her fire, and he wished more than anything that it could be him making her smile.

Lexie loved her as well. The old ladies all did, and so did some of the club whores.

Paris made her way back inside, but Sinner had spotted him.

Spider watched as he locked up his car, and made his way toward him.

“What’s up, man?”

“Nothing. I’m just watching, you know?”

“She would love for you to come inside. We’ve got thirty minutes until we go for Celia.”

The temptation was strong, and as he looked at the door, he saw that night where the door was open. “I can’t.”

“Spider, she’s waiting for you.”

“Take care of her for me.” Spider didn’t wait around. He revved his engine and shot off down the street, leaving Sinner and Paris behind.

He had to get his shit together soon. There was no way he could live like this.

Twenty minutes later, after failing to clear his head, he entered the clubhouse. He found Jessica heading out with Snake behind her.

“What’s going on?”

“Snake’s taking me to work. I’ve got the evening shift. I’ll be back by two in the morning.”

Snake fist bumped his hand as they passed.

Entering the clubhouse, he saw Lydia behind the bar. The woman hadn’t left yet, but she’d changed. She wasn’t the same loud mouth that she once was. “I’ll take a shot of whiskey,” he said.

“It’s a little early to be on the hard stuff, right?”

“I’ve never been an addict. I’m fine.”

Lydia handed him a glass and drizzled in some whiskey.

“I’ll take some ice as well.”

She poured in the ice, and he stared at the glass. Lydia didn’t stick around. She moved down to another brother. Butler came to take a seat beside him.

Spider looked around the clubhouse. Death and Brianna were playing a fucking board game. Reese, Slash, and Dime were playing pool. Charlie, Smithy, Prospect, Guts, and Sexy were playing cards. Several of the club whores were dancing. He also saw Pussy and Sasha dancing together.

“What has you drinking from the bottle as this time of day?” Butler asked.

“Where’s the rest of the guys?”

“Mia and Curse haven’t been around for a couple of days. They’re trying to pick out a new kitchen from what I’ve heard. I’m sure we’ll hear from them when they want help fitting it. Dick and Martha have gone back to their house for a few days to have some alone time. Ripper and Judi are at home with baby Paul. Lexie and Devil are probably at home. The other guys are looking at the two buildings. Did Devil talk to you?”

“Yeah, I’m heading up the apartment block.”

“Thank fuck for that. I didn’t have a clue what the hell was going on.” Butler held his finger up to the new girl. Mandy her name was, and she was a sweetheart. Spider didn’t think she was a club whore. She was dressed in a pair of jeans that hugged her curves, and a shirt.

“What can I get you?” Mandy asked.

“A strong black coffee.”

“Coming right up.” She disappeared from behind the bar, and he noticed the cloth sticking out of her back pocket.

“Who is she?” Spider asked.

“She’s the new cleaner. She cleans up the clubhouse, and comes recommended by Mia.”

Spider smiled as he saw the interest in Butler.

Usually the brother’s response was, “how the fuck should I know?”

Interesting.