Master (Chaos Bleeds Book 8) (25 page)

It’s just talking.

Nothing else.

Tapping his fingers on his leg, he waited for her to exit the bathroom. No one else had come back this way, and he wondered if the club was giving them both the space they needed.

What do I say?

Spider ran his fingers through his hair, and tried to figure out what else he could, or couldn’t say. She looked pretty. Could he say that? This was so fucking hard.

Suddenly, the door to the bathroom opened, and he didn’t have much of a choice anymore.

Paris paused when she saw him.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey.”

He noticed her hands went into tiny fists. Her tongue peeked out as she licked her lips.

“You look really beautiful today,” he said.

She glanced down at the simple blue dress. It was rather conservative, but the material looked thick.

“I didn’t know what the occasion was, and so I picked this. It used to belong to my mom. I guess you can call it vintage now.”

He smiled.

“You look good, too,” she said.

“I look the same as I always do. Scruffy biker.”

“You carry the look well.”

He pursed his lips, and then smiled. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“Me too.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. I’m the one that is sorry. You think I don’t want you over what happened, but it’s not that at all.”

“It’s not?”

“No.” He took a step toward her and reached out. After three months, Spider finally touched her, placing his palm against her cheek. Her skin was so smooth, and perfect. That one touch, reminded him so much of the attraction he held for her. “I’ve tried, Paris. I’ve tried to come and see you, but it’s so hard. I’ve failed you, and I can’t take any of it back.” He ran the tip of his thumb across her quivering lip, and he hated himself for making her cry. “You didn’t see the damage of what he did.”

“I lived it, Spider.”

“I can’t get it out of my head, and it’s all my fault.” He pressed his head against hers, regretting touching her, and yet not being able to let go.

She cupped his face, holding him close. He didn’t pull away. Spider didn’t want to let go of her, not now, not ever.

“I’ve been in a really fucked up place,” he said.

“I heard you had to go to therapy.”

Someone cleared their throat, and he turned to see Slash there. “Sorry, you’re in front of the men’s bathroom, and I’ve gotta go.”

“Let’s go out and talk.”

Spider took her hand, and they made their way down toward the kitchen. He grabbed an extra jacket for her, and they left. With the cold coming in, everyone was inside, so the whole of the outside was free and clear for them to talk. Taking out a cigarette, he lit it up, and blew a puff of smoke into the air.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” she said.

“I don’t. Not really.” He took hold of her hand, locking their fingers together, and never wanting to let go of her. Spider had missed this, and now that he was doing it, he had to wonder why the fuck he hadn’t been doing it in the first place.

“You’re smoking right now.” She chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“So, therapy, you see Annie?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Does she help you?”

“You know, I’m not sure if she helps, or if I help myself by having a few hours of talking about shit,” he said.

“Be careful. I had to pay a dollar into the swear jar,” Paris said.

“Yeah, Simon’s a stickler for that jar.” They held hands, and made their way out toward the park. It was a little like The Skulls. With the kids being born, they had to make it more kid-friendly at the club. Spider loved the way the clubhouse was developing. It was great to be part of.

“I’m not doing well with Annie,” Paris said.

“You’re not?”

“I can’t talk about my feelings all the time. It’s exhausting.” Paris stopped, and he watched as she tried to find the right words to talk to him. “I’m not saying that I don’t struggle. I do. I struggle all the time, and it’s so hard to be not afraid. The thing is, he’s done, and he’s never coming back. I can live with that.”

“Why don’t you stop seeing her?” Spider asked.

“I don’t know. Lexie suggested it, and I don’t want to let her, or you, down. It’s kind of hard. I feel like I have to go and see Annie.”

“I’m going to stop.”

“You are?”

“My biggest struggle was this. Talking with you. For some reason I was struggling to do it, and I couldn’t get past it.”

“And now?”

“I’d say I’m doing pretty well right now, considering that I’m talking to you.”

Paris smiled. “I’ve been hoping you’d talk to me, or at least say something. I’d even take you screaming just to get you to talk to me.”

Spider threw his cigarette to the ground, and stubbed it out. He tugged her closer to him, and sank his fingers into her hair. “I like this cut on you. It looks sexy.”

“Thank you.”

“The shit I was going through in my head, it had nothing to do with you, or your virginity or anything else. I want you, Paris. I want you more than anything, but I want us both to be fixed before we move on.”

“How can we be fixed if you keep on running?”

“I’m not going to keep on running. I’m staying right here, and I’m not going to disappear again.” He leaned in close, and gently placed his lips against hers.

It was a chaste kiss, but it was a start.

“Wow,” she said, sighing. “I got a kiss.”

“I want to start visiting you. Taking you out. Do you think that would be okay?”

“I’d love to.”

Locking their fingers together, they made their way back inside, where he saw commotion had kicked up. Everyone was rushing to fix the table ready for dinner.

“I’m going to help Lexie.” Paris released his hand, and he watched her go, wishing he could pull her back to him.

“You took the leap,” Sinner said.

“I had no choice. I didn’t want to lose her, and I was ready.”

“Or, Paris was ignoring you, and you didn’t like it.”

“Either way, I got to talk with her, and for me, that’s what I wanted.”

The table was set, and Lexie, Simon, and Paris brought out food. Paris sat beside her sister, and Spider took the other side of Celia. The entire clubhouse was full, with the kids on a smaller table. Even the club whores were sitting there as they enjoyed their Sunday lunch.

Devil said a quick prayer, offering thanks to the food, and to the men who had gone from their club. They all shared an amen, and then started to serve out dinner. Paris placed food on Celia’s plate before doing her own.

“Can I have everyone’s attention?” Death said, standing up. “I know we’re all serving up, but I just wanted to say something.”

Brianna’s cheeks were a bright red as she smiled up at Death.

“We’re going to have a baby.”

There were hoots of laughter and joy as Death told them the news. It meant a lot as Brianna had been through hell. Spider leaned over, shaking Death’s hand.

“Seeing as we all had something to share, Judi and I are expecting again,” Ripper said. “We’re nervous about it, you know, with what happened with the first, but the doctors are going to take every precaution.”

Judi had suffered with pre-eclampsia during the birth of Paul and nearly died. For several weeks, everyone had been tense, scared for Judi and Paul.

“So are we,” Mia said. “I found out in Fort Wills three months ago. I’m not getting fat. I’m going to have a little girl.” Curse gripped the back of her neck, and Spider watched as the brother kissed Mia so passionately that even he blushed.

“Well, seeing as I was the one who organized the dinner, I’m pregnant again,” Lexie said, leaning back, and touching her stomach.

“What the fuck?” Devil said.

“Dad, a dollar,” Simon said.

“Shut up, son. You’re pregnant?”

Lexie nodded, tears filling her eyes. “Two months.”

“Do we know what it is?”

“No. The doctor will be doing an ultrasound in a couple of weeks to determine sex. We’re going to be parents again.”

“Woohoo, another brother or sister. I’ve got to tell Tabitha,” Simon said.

“You’re going to eat your food. I told you, no talking to Tabitha until you eat all your vegetables,” Lexie said.

Simon saluted his mother, and sat down, ready to start eating.

The club was growing, and the next generation was growing.

Spider leaned behind Celia’s chair and stroked Paris’s arm. She took hold of his hand, and gave his a gentle squeeze.

It was small step, but a big one to them.

He refused to let Andrew win for another second.

****

“How did Devil handle the news?” Eva asked. She held the phone to her ear, as she put away sauces from dinner.

“He’s happy. He’s always happy. How is life with you and the kids?”

“It’s peaceful. Can you believe that? Life is actually peaceful, and I never for a second believed that it could be like that.” Eva giggled. “What about you?”

“No threat. Devil’s actually relaxed. I’ve never known him to be so relaxed.”

Eva heard Lexie chuckle. They had both been through so much, and with Simon and Tabitha, they knew it was never going to stop.

“How is Paris?”

Lexie sighed. “I don’t know. She’s gone to the therapist like I asked her, but I think she’s only done it for me. I won’t want to pry too much, but it’s hard to do. I care, you know?”

“Of course I know. She went through hell.”

Eva poured herself a large glass of orange juice, taking a seat. Tiny walked in carrying some paperwork, and she smiled at him. He moved behind her, kissing the back of her neck.

“Do you think I should try and draw her into conversation, talk about it?”

“I don’t know. How was Brianna?” Eva asked.

“I don’t know. They’re both quiet women. I just want Paris to know if she needs me, she can talk to me.”

“Then tell her. I’m sure she’d understand.”

“Oh, Simon’s looking pissed, and I hear Devil shouting. Got to go.”

Lexie hung up before she could say goodbye.

“Trouble in Piston?” Tiny asked.

“No. Lexie’s pregnant again.”

“Another of Devil’s brood to contend with.”

She chuckled. “Tab’s only interested in Simon. You don’t have to worry.”

Tiny had put on a pair of glasses to read, and she loved it when he did. He looked so … serious and educated. It was a huge turn-on.

“I always imagined my kids being close to me, Eva. Simon’s going to take over from Devil, which will mean my kid won’t be near me. I don’t like that.”

Eva shrugged. “You can’t come between love.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“And you don’t see what my father has to go through.”

“Please, Ned’s fine.”

“His daughter is miles away. He has to get here by a car or by plane. Plane is quicker. You don’t think that upsets him? Yet I’m here.”

Tiny tilted his head to the side. “You always have the means of making me feel guilty.”

She chuckled, moving behind him. “It’s a gift, baby.” She kissed his neck. “All the kids are asleep.”

“They are.”

She ran her hand down his chest, moving toward his cock. It had been a long time since they’d been together. Eva didn’t want to wait any longer. “I’ve got some quiet time with your name all over it.”

The glasses were gone, papers forgotten as he grabbed her, picking her up, and carrying her toward their bedroom.

****

Lash climbed into bed and snuggled up against his wife. They were in their own home, and they had just had a Sunday lunch. He kissed her neck, breathing in her scent.

“Is Chloe down?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. Just wanted a hug off Daddy.”

“What about Anthony?”

“He’s okay. Sleeping like a log.”

“Can you believe Zero and Prue are going to have a baby?” she asked.

“I know. It’s pretty something, isn’t it?”

Angel rolled over and smiled at him. “I’d like to have another baby.”

“We’ve just had Chloe.”

“Not now, but I’d like another one. I always wanted a big family.”

“I don’t want to share you, and with two kids, you get tired.”

“Please, Lash. I thought you wanted a big family as well.”

“I do. I want a big family with you. I just can’t stand the thought of never seeing you again.”

“You’ll always see me. I’ll carve out a minute of every single day to see you.” Angel wrapped her arms around him.

“Very funny. A minute is never going to be enough, and you know it.” He ran his hand down her hips, feeling her womanly curves. Lash had never been able to get enough of her. His cock pressed up, demanding attention. “Do you see what you do to me, woman?”