Master of My Mind BN (22 page)

“He supported you, financially?”

“Yes. After Nathan was delivered, Matt paid for a burial
plot and made the arrangements for me.”

“What did you do for him?”

The innuendo in Tony’s question wounded. I raised my head
and stared at him. “I can’t believe you just asked that.”

“I’m sorry, angel, but… you seem to have a penchant for
older men.”

“It wasn’t like that,” I hissed. “I never slept with him.
For crying out loud, he was my father’s best friend…well, they were before I
fucked it up. When my dad found out that Matt had taken me in, they never
talked again.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Please go on.”

“Matt had money. Lots and lots of money, but I never knew
what he did for a living. I was young and naïve, and growing up in such a
sheltered
environment,
I just assumed he was the CEO
of some conglomerate. He dressed impeccably and always looked like the
quintessential businessman. After Nathan was laid to rest, Matt took me to
dinner and asked what I planned to do with my life. When I confessed I had no
clue, he offered me an enormous salary and asked if I wanted to work for him. I
was so stupid. I didn’t even ask what the job was. I just leapt at the obscene
amount of money he’d offered, which of course I didn’t actually receive,
because he insisted on investing it for me.” A bitter chuckle escaped my
throat. “At first, he taught me a bunch of different computer programs and
eventually introduced me to the wonderful world of off shore banking and how to
transfer money to his accounts all over the world. The man had billions of
dollars.”

“Let me guess, not a single penny of it was legal?”

“No.”

“How did you find out?” Tony asked.

“I’d been working for him for about two years when something
happened in the Cayman’s. I’m not entirely sure what, but it caused a ripple
effect through the Caribbean, South America, all the way to Russia. From bits
and pieces of conversations I’d overheard, I suspected he was in involved with
guns and drug cartels, maybe more.”

“Are you sure he’s even still alive? People in those circles
don’t usually have a very long lifespan.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never tried to find out. I didn’t want
to raise any flags.”

“Smart move, sweetheart,” Tony agreed. “You told George
about this?”

“Yes.”

“Didn’t he try to have Matt arrested?”

“He wanted to, but I begged him not to. George assured me he
had friends in high places, but I feared Matt’s power and influence was much
greater than George’s. Matt often boasted about the friends he had in our
government. I didn’t want George to scratch even the surface of that hornet’s
nest.”

“Okay, couple of questions. How did George file the
restraining order with Matt’s name on it without raising a flag, as you call
it?”

“He told me he had it sealed. Reed’s the only other person,
besides you, that knows whose name is on it.”

“Okay. So Matt’s hooked up with bad guys. What happened that
made him turn on you?”

“I figured he was involved in drugs and guns, but I didn’t
think he was dangerous. On a phone call, I overheard Matt saying that the guy
who’d screwed things up in the Cayman’s was dead. But I didn’t want to think
that he had anything to do with it. I wanted to believe he was innocent.
Anyway, a few days later, a man from the Justice Department came to the house.
Matt sent me upstairs to my room, but I sat on the landing, listening. He tried
to bribe the guy, but he wouldn’t bite. He threatened to freeze all of Matt’s
assets and bring in the FBI to confiscate his computers, bank records, the
whole nine yards. I heard the man mention subpoenas, and I think he started to make
a phone call. That’s when I heard a gunshot. Matt killed the guy.
Killed him dead, on the entryway carpet.”

“Son of a bitch,” Tony murmured. “What the hell did you do?
You must have been terrified.”

“I was. At first, I fought the urge to throw up. I wanted to
run out the front door and get away from him, but I was scared he’d put a
bullet in my back if he even suspected I wanted to leave. So I went downstairs
and grabbed a bucket and bleach. I walked into the foyer. I’d never seen a
murder victim before. Matt was on the phone ordering someone to come get the
body. He took one look at me with the bucket and smiled. My blood turned to
ice, and I got down on my hands and knees and started cleaning the guy’s brains
off the floor. At that exact moment I started making plans to get the hell out
before Matt killed me next.”

Tony didn’t say a word. He simply clutched me to his chest
even tighter, anchoring me to the present… to him. I could feel the tension
coiling inside him.

“The next morning, Matt called me into his room. He was
packing a suitcase and told me I was to pack one as well. He said he was taking
me to Tahiti for a few days to show his appreciation for my loyalty to him.
There was no way in hell I was going to leave the country with that man. So I convinced
him that it would look like he was fleeing if I went with him. I’d never
accompanied him on any of his trips out of the country. And if anyone came
snooping around, I promised to tell them that he’d left for China instead of
the islands. He agreed it was a good idea, thanked me and walked out the door.
I sat in that house all day and half the night plotting. Knowing he kept a
close eye on his personal checking account, I couldn’t risk withdrawing
anything from the ATM and tipping my hand. So I scrounged up what money I could
find. It was only a hundred and thirty-seven dollars.”

A cynical smile tugged my lips. Talking about Matt
resurrected vulnerabilities I hadn’t given thought to in years. But Tony’s
fingertips fluttering up and down my arm served to contain my emotions before
they had a chance to swamp me under.

“I couldn’t fail to see the irony. There I was, surrounded
by opulence, yet I could only manage to get my hands on a hundred and
thirty-seven dollars. At one o’clock in the morning, I threw two outfits into a
plastic bag, disengaged the alarm system, and snuck out the back door.”

Tony released me and gazed into my eyes. “And came here… to
Chicago.”

“Yes,” I nodded. “I didn’t have enough money for a plane
ticket, so I figured I’d catch a bus. I needed to find a city big enough that
he couldn’t easily find me. Small towns were out of the question. Hopping the
rail train from the suburbs, I finally made my way downtown to the bus
terminal. I didn’t have enough money for New York or L.A., but I did for
Chicago, and the bus was leaving in a matter of minutes. It seemed the safest
place for me to go. Matt knew I hated snow. Chicago would be the last place
he’d look for me. So I bought a ticket and got on the bus.”

“Have you ever talked to your parents about his illegal
activities?”

“No. I haven’t talked to my dad since the day he kicked me
out. My mom came to see me in the hospital after I’d lost Nathan. She told me
the reason my baby died was because it was an abomination, and God was
punishing for me being a whore.”

“Your own mother said that to you?” Tony gaped.

 
“Yeah,” I nodded
sadly. “I looked her straight in the eye and told her to leave. Matt was there.
He escorted her out of my hospital room, and I never saw her again. I
remembered thinking he was my savior. I can’t believe I was so damn stupid.”

“Don’t do that to yourself, sweetheart. He was a family
friend. You were young. There was no reason to doubt he was a good guy. It
takes life experience to realize that some people are trustworthy and others
aren’t. They don’t walk around wearing a sign stating their good or evil. You
were just an unlucky victim.”

“No, I’ll be unlucky if he ever finds me.”

“Where did you go…how did you survive once you got here?”

“I was petrified. I didn’t know where to go, who to trust,
or what to do. So I hopped a city bus and got off at the first church I saw. I
went inside and talked to the preacher. I told him I needed help, but I
couldn’t go to the police. He said not to worry then called a woman named
Hilary, who came to the church. She was in her early eighties, but she was so
spry and full of life. Anyway, she picked me up and took me to her little
house. She fed me, showed me to a guest room, and let me take a shower. Hilary
didn’t ask any questions; she just opened her heart and gave me a safe place to
spend the night.”

Tony slid his fingers into my hand and gave a little
squeeze.

 
“The next morning I
woke up and fixed breakfast for us. We sat at her kitchen table eating and
talking about survival. She told me that when she was just a baby her mother
held her against her chest hiding under the stairs of their house in London
during the blitz. Her older brother, father, and grandfather had been killed in
separate blasts. She and her mom escaped to America, arriving with twenty-two
dollars in her pocket. A family took them in until her mom found work and was
able to get on her feet.”

“So the woman spent her life paying it forward?”
 

“Yes. She was an amazing person. We hit it off, and she
invited me to stay. I lived with her for a couple of years, helping out with
the laundry, cleaning and cooking, and she helped me in ways I’ll never forget.
Even after I moved out and got an apartment, we stayed in touch. When her son
sold her house and put her in a nursing home, I visited her four times a week.
And when she died two years ago, I was with her, holding her hand. I miss her
every day.”

“Aww, angel.
I’m sorry. The world
needs more people like Hilary,” Tony smiled.

“Yes, it does.”

“I get it now, sweetheart,” he said softly as he placed a
tender kiss on my forehead.

“Get what?”

“Why it’s so hard for you to trust. Everyone you’ve ever
loved has either disowned you, turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, or
died on you. I understand why you guard your heart. I do. I see you now in a
different light. It makes sense why you fight so hard to present a tough
exterior. You’re a strong, resilient, and amazing woman. Even when you try to
hide those parts they still shine through. But you’re also delicate and
fragile, like a baby bird, and can be broken so easily.”

Tony brushed his palm over my cheek. Embarrassed by his
praise, I shrugged.

“Opening up and revealing that to me took guts,
Leagh
. Thank you for trusting me enough to share your
secrets. I’ll keep you safe, sweetheart. If Matt ever tracks you down, I’ll
make certain he doesn’t lay a finger on you. And one more thing, I’ll
never
turn my back on you, love.”

The conviction in Tony’s deep voice surrounded me like a
suit of armor.

“Thank you. I know I don’t act like it, but I
do
trust you, Tony. I think you’re the first
person who’s ever truly deserved it. But giving up my power and letting someone
take over is hard for me.” A beleaguered smile tugged one corner of his mouth.
“I know. I know… I’m not the poster child for submission. Honestly, if it
hadn’t been for George, I wouldn’t have even known the lifestyle existed.”

“How so?”

I scoffed and shook my head. “He came into the café one
night, nervous as a cat in a dog pound. He started telling me about a friend
who owned an adult club and asked if I’d go with him to check it out. I was
shocked and scared I’d end up in the middle of some kind of kinky orgy or
something. But it was the first time he’d asked me out, and I wasn’t going to
turn him down.”

Tony sat listening patiently as I rambled on.

“He confessed that he’d actually been to Genesis a few times
and was intrigued by what he saw. After he assured me it wasn’t an orgy and
asked if I could keep an open mind, I was so curious I said ‘yes.’

“I’ll never forget the first night you came to the club,”
Tony whispered as if he were re-living it right along with me. “Your eyes were
so wide, and innocence poured off you like summer rain. My dick got hard just
looking at you, and I remember hoping that you were George’s daughter.”

“Oh my,” I chuckled.

“Yeah, when I found out otherwise, I was devastated. A
better man would have turned the other way, but I couldn’t keep from watching
you. Fantasizing about all the wicked things I wanted to do to you… all the
things I still want to do to you, angel.”

Yes, now… do them now, Tony.
Please!

I knew he’d read my mind when he chuckled. “Go on; tell me
the rest.”

“After he’d showed me around the club, we went up to Mika’s
office and watched through the mirror. Mika explained about
Doms
,
Masters, Tops, subs, slaves, bottoms, switches, and the whole nine yards. Told
me what every piece of equipment was called and how it was used. Watching it
all got me so turned on, it was hard not to sit there and squirm on the couch.”

Tony laughed. “I like to make you squirm.”

I made a face and continued. “They explained the dynamics of
the power exchange and what people gained from it. I guess you could say they
gave me a crash course in BDSM,” I chuckled softly, remembering how my mind was
spinning that first night.

“I realized how George seemed to be into it, and even though
I had a long list of things I wouldn’t do, I agreed to be his submissive.”

Tony grinned. “For someone who didn’t know whit about the
lifestyle, you were smart to set limits from the start.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t know that’s what I was doing. I just
knew that the thought of being cuffed to a cross or tied down in any way
freaked me the hell out. I was scared to be in such a vulnerable position.”

“It takes a tremendous amount of trust.” Tony brushed his
lips over mine. “I know you trust me,
Leagh
. You
never would have let me tie you up if you didn’t. You may not realize it, but
you’re a very special treasure to me, sweetheart.”