Mastered: Ten Tales of Sensual Surrender (104 page)

Rafe stood so they were nose to nose. “You fucking left before!”

Pain arched through Ian’s eyes before he shut it down. “Fuck you, Rafe. I thought we were past that. Have I given you any cause to think I haven’t been here?”

Rafe narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything. He couldn’t come up with a damn thing and that bothered him more than he wanted to say. His own insecurities were biting him in the ass.

“Ian—”

His lover held up his hand. “No, let me talk. I know I don’t laugh and smile as much as you and Sassy do. I know I’m the one on the sidelines who just seems to be…there. But I like it that way, Rafe. I like watching the two of you joke around and smile at the oddest things. I like knowing that I’m there, even if I don’t have to be
part
of everything at all times.”

Jesus, Rafe was an ass. “Ian, you’re always part of it. I know you’re here. God, I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” And now he was sounding like a teenage girl. Or boy at this point for that matter.

Ian lifted his lips in a small smile before shaking his head. “I’m not going anywhere, Rafe. God, I made so many mistakes before and we all know it. I was so afraid of what my parents would think about me not only loving a man, but loving that man
and
a woman at the same time. I was so fucking stupid for not doing what was inside my heart rather than doing what everyone else expected of me.”

Rafe didn’t move, didn’t speak, knowing this was important for Ian…and them.

Ian cupped Rafe’s face, his strong hands an anchor when Rafe felt as if he were drifting, not knowing what was coming next.

“You and Sassy are my everything. You were before and I didn’t understand what that meant. I’m in this for the long haul, Rafe. But I need to know what that long haul is. We’re fucking crazy to just show up at Midnight Ink and want to start a whole life with Sassy without even talking about it with her first, but that’s what we did. We made the big moment rather than waiting for something to happen.”

Rafe turned his head to kiss Ian’s palm. “I know. In retrospect, we could have gone about it a bit differently.”

Ian grinned. “You don’t say. It’s been two months since we came back and tried to make this work and I’m not going anywhere. You’ve got to believe that or everything I’m doing isn’t enough, Rafe.”

“Jesus, I’m a fucking asshole.”

Ian grinned. “Yeah, you are, but I love you.”

“I love you too, Ian.”

Ian lowered his head and captured his lips in a fierce kiss. When he pulled away he leaned his forehead against Rafe’s. “We’re taking this slow, Rafe.” He snorted. “Well, as slow as we can since we’re all already sleeping together.”

Rafe grinned. “Well, we did have a past, so it’s not
that
slow.”

“I’m putting everything out there, Rafe. I’m in. I know you are, too, or you wouldn’t be so scared of what could happen if I didn’t.”

“I know that. I do. I just had a panic attack or some shit.”

“If you don’t trust me, it’s gonna make it fucking hard to move on. I know I deserve it in some respects, but I’m here. And I hope to God Sassy is too.”

Rafe closed his eyes. “We have to give her the same benefit of the doubt we’re giving each other.”

“I know. We are. But you’ll notice that while the two of us have said we loved each other, and Sassy as well, she hasn’t said the words.” The pain in Ian’s eyes was too hard to take, and Rafe kissed him softly.

“It crossed my mind.”

Ian pulled back and shook his head. “Look at us. It’s been two fucking months of dating, the best sex of our lives and connecting in a way that means something and we’re harping on the fact that she hasn’t said she loves us.”

“The words matter with Sassy.”

“And that’s what hurts so fucking much because I don’t know if she’ll ever say them. It’s so much easier to go back to what she was doing before we came back rather than face the trials we’re going to go through once the world finds out.”

Ian wasn’t being self-centered with that fear. He worked in a very public arena, and people had already been commenting that he was dating a secret woman named Sassy. It was only a matter of time before they found out about Rafe…and who Sassy was. They weren’t hiding it in fear that they’d hurt each other. In doing so though, they’d allowed a new set of problems to creep up. They would deal with those problems, and Rafe knew it would be worth it.

He just prayed Sassy would feel the same.

“I’m not going to push her to say anything she doesn’t mean…or if she does mean it, but isn’t ready to admit to us, or even herself,” Ian said.

“What do you want out of this?” Rafe asked. He knew what he wanted—the whole damn thing, vows, babies, and a way for the three of them to work and live together. The world could fuck itself for its views on what was right or wrong. They weren’t hurting anyone with what they had, and everyone else could just get over it.

Easier said than done, but if Rafe’s family was fine with it, that was their greatest hurdle. Ian could give a flying fuck about his parents, Sassy the same. Her true family at Midnight Ink was fine with ménages considering there was a triad at the shop already.

Ian ran his thumb over Rafe’s cheek. “I want everything, Rafe. I want it all. Just like you. It doesn’t mean I deserve it, but I want it. I don’t know how it will work beyond what we can do as the three of us work together, but we will find a way.”

“In terms of the three of us, it’s just more communication if you think about it.”

Ian rolled his eyes. “Yeah, we’re not the greatest at that.”

“Plus more sex since there are three of us.”

Ian threw his head back and laughed—one of the sexiest things ever in Rafe’s opinion. “There is that. And we’re pretty fucking great at it.”

Ian pulled him close and Rafe rested his head on his shoulder. They stood there for a while in silence, their bodies swaying to a beat only they could hear.

“We’re going to be okay,” Ian whispered.

Rafe closed his eyes and squeezed Ian’s waist. “Yeah. Yeah, we will.”

The only thing they had no control over right then that mattered —and no desire to
have
control over—was Sassy. She was a force unto herself.

As much as he and Ian loved each other, Rafe knew it wouldn’t be the same without Sassy. She was the one who held them together and made their lives complete.

She hadn’t left, but was she fully committed?

He didn’t know, but he’d give her time. He and Ian both would.

She was their center.

They had to make sure she knew it.

Chapter Nine

“So is it different being with two guys rather than just one?” Shea’s eyes widened and she slapped her hand over her mouth, shaking her head. “I can’t believe I just asked that,” she mumbled behind her hand.

Sassy ran her hand through her hair, her bangles jiggling as she tried to hold back her laughter at the question.

“Oh honey, you’re family. You can ask those questions,” Sassy teased.

Shep, the love of Shea’s life and one of Sassy’s best friends, came up behind Shea and put his hand on her shoulders. “Sassy, love, if she’s family, maybe you shouldn’t be talking about sex. And Shea, baby, I’m all the man you need.”

Shea blushed hard and leaned into him. “You’re more than I can handle most days, Shep, but I like trying to handle you just fine.”

Sassy grinned as Shep pulled Shea into a steamy kiss then left her mussed, blushing, and looking sexy as hell. There was just something hot and sweet about looking at a couple—or triad—in love and knowing that there might be something for her as well.

Oh, she wasn’t ready to come out and say that she’d found her bliss, but she was definitely on the right track.

She purposely kept her feelings from Ian and Rafe, after all they’d only been reunited for a couple months. They still had time to find their rhythm and figure out how each piece of their particular puzzle would fit together. However, that didn’t mean she hadn’t been thinking about it.

God, some days it felt like it was the
only
thing she thought about.

Things were going well though. Great even. She had moments with each of her men and moments with both of them at the same time. It wasn’t lost on her that she constantly thought of Ian and Rafe as
her
men.

That’s what they were.

They were hers as much as she was theirs.

Shep went back to his notepad, working on artwork for a design for Shea, leaving her and Sassy to talk about what they loved best.

Their men.

Of course, Sassy had to answer the phones and do all of the other thirty-thousand things that went with being the Midnight Ink receptionist, but today was a rather slow day thankfully. It was mostly just the artists working on upcoming projects with only two clients in chairs getting inked. The buzz of the needle was a gentle hum, sliding up and down Sassy’s spine.

Oh yeah, it was totally time to get new ink.

Maybe she’d get that ink Rafe and Ian had wanted when they’d first come in to the shop a couple months ago. It was hard to believe it had only been two months since they’d walked in and scared the shit out of her. God, she loved them, but she was waiting to tell them.

Something was holding her back, she didn’t know what, but she wasn’t ready to let them know.

“What are you thinking about that’s giving you that serious face?” Shea asked, pulling Sassy out of her thoughts of love and her men.

Sassy shook her head and smiled. There was no use talking about things she couldn’t even fully form in her mind. She’d rather talk about the good things—like sex and the fact that Shep and Shea would be getting married soon.

Well, by soon, she meant within the next year, but that was still pretty freaking cool.

“So, are you excited about your new ink?” Sassy asked, changing the subject. Shea raised a brow but didn’t point it out.

“I just finished my first piece with Shep, but he’s planning number two. I think it’ll be a while before I get to it though. I want to make sure I don’t go crazy and get twelve tats in twelve months.”

Sassy tilted her head. “You know, if they were small ones, that could be a good promotion.”

Shea rolled her eyes. “Oh God, look what I started.”

Sassy grinned and turned to the front desk so she could write down that idea. Someone had left the morning paper on top of her legal pad and as she moved it out of the way, something caught her eye.

“The Bordeaux Whore Is Back In Town. What Does Daddy Have To Say About That?”

Sassy blinked as the buzzing in her ears grew louder and louder. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She put her finger on the column on the society pages and licked her lips.

“Sassy? What is it? Oh God, you’re pale. Are you sick? Shep!”

She heard Shea calling out but it was from somewhere far away and moving even farther away.

They’d found out.

Someone had figured out who she was and how she was connected to Ian. She glanced at the words,
whore
,
sodimist
, and
threesome
, standing out and making her want to vomit.

They’d found out about Rafe too.

Strong hands pulled her around and she looked into Shep’s eyes, unseeing.

“Sassy? What’s wrong, honey? Talk to me. Austin, get her some water.”

Sassy had forgotten Shep’s cousin Austin was back in town. She’d have to make sure she teased him about his ink like she always did. That was, if she could ever think again…or face these people again.

Oh God, what would they do when they found out she’d lied to them all this time?

“Oh my God, Sassy,” Shea gasped beside her and Sassy closed her eyes.

Damn it. She’d seen the article.

“Oh honey, that stupid bitch Vivian is such a fucking asshole when she writes in the gossip column. They put me and Shep in there when we were first dating because of my dad, but it blew over.”

Sassy felt Shea’s hands on her back but she couldn’t speak. She could only think of what she needed to do and who she’d have to protect. That was her job.

She was
The
Sassy.

She’d have to give it all up to make sure Rafe’s family, Ian’s people, her crew, all of them, would be okay.

There was no other choice open to her.

Because no matter how scandalous it was for Shea, the golden girl, to date an inked tattoo artist, it was nothing like being the lost Bordeaux princess who found herself in a threesome with one of the most eligible men in the United States and another man with no breeding according to her parents’ society circles.

That’s what they’d tear them down to. It didn’t matter that she loved Ian and Rafe or that they were both more than a label. Nothing mattered in the world where she’d grown up, that same world she still fought so hard to leave behind.

The public face was the only thing that mattered in that world.

Living the ultimate sin in their eyes would only harm Ian and Rafe.

She couldn’t do that.

No matter what she thought of herself, she wouldn’t hurt the men she loved.

Damn it.

Tears threatened, but she fought them back. She wouldn’t break down in front of her friends—the family she’d made with ties she hoped to God were stronger than blood.

“Shit, Sassy, there’s a crew out here with a camera saying they want to talk to you,” Austin said from behind her and Sassy held back a shudder. “I locked the doors. This is private property and they can go fuck themselves.”

“I need to get out of here,” she whispered, her voice broken.

Her
everything
broken.

Shep ran a hand through her hair, but she barely felt it.

Barely felt anything.

“Okay, honey, we’ll get you out of here.”

She shook her head and pulled away. She could feel the stares of everyone in the room. People she loved walking toward her, trying to help, but she couldn’t do it, couldn’t take it.

“I need to be alone. I’m going to go out the back, but I don’t have my car.”