Mastering Multiple Position Sex (37 page)

For Tables and Chairs, you will also need a large, non-slip area. Remove any small area rugs that could fly out from under him and her. There is nothing romantic about a sprained wrist or, worse, a penile fracture. The area will also serve as the setting for the final climactic sequence, so it is important that it is comfortable and accommodating for backs and knees. As you have learned by now, pillows, sheets, blankets, and towels can always make a hard spot soft, a cold spot warm, and a wet spot dry. But to avoid a loss of erection or excitement—and to maintain the flow of energy and hormones—it is best to have them on hand at all times.

Warm-Up

One of the easiest ways to achieve the stationary part of a Standing 69 is to begin in a Supine 69, with the woman on the bottom. The secret to preparing you both is to have the woman lie on her back with her legs on the bed and with her head slightly off an edge.

The man can do one of several things. He can begin by walking toward the bed and letting his penis enter her mouth; she receives no initial genital stimulation. He can sidestep her mouth and start an offset 69, in which he goes down on her, but she is not having oral contact with him. Or he can approach her on the bed—as above—and lower himself on top of her for mutual oral stimulation—the man-on-top 69.

Time permitting, even more options exist. The partners can switch roles: He begins with his head hanging off the bed, and she takes any of the three approaches listed in the preceding paragraph. He can then hold on to her, roll over, and stand up from the bed. Or, if she gets dizzy from too fast a stand-up, which can happen if he jerks her from a Supine to a Standing 69, she can remain on top of him, as he inches her to the edge of the bed, and he stands with her mouth to his cock, and his mouth to her pussy.

If the man or woman is approaching an open, upside-down mouth, there are so many sexplay opportunities that abound. You could squat for an upside down kiss; if you have never kissed eye-to-chin, you should try it. If you don’t believe me, ask Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire, who did it in
Spiderman
. You can also lower any part of your clean genitals for a nice “undercarriage wash,” where a mouth or tongue licks, probes, investigates, and stimulates everything within reach—vulva, perineum, rectum, scrotum, and inner thighs (recall the
4th Movement
). With a gaping mouth beneath you, you could straddle your partner’s face and never lean forward far enough—at least not yet—to reciprocate. Maybe he’s a “Johnny-Come-Lately” who needs more time to reach orgasm, or perhaps he’s the “Early Bird Who Loses His Worm”—this is an excellent way to remedy both situations. In the first situation, he can enjoy the licking to keep him ticking, and in the latter, she can have seconds while he’s having his firsts.

The bed makes a perfect launch pad and emergency landing strip, and while you’re there, make it an awesome layover.

WARNING: It is key that the man maintains a good grip on the woman at all times, particularly if he begins to have an orgasm in this position. It should never be the case where the woman gives head, only to wind up on hers.

POSITION 1:
Standing 69

Almost any modern porno movie, adult magazine, or college bragging ritual includes the Standing 69. If executed properly, it can generate incredible orgasms—for the upside-down partner especially, as a result of the head rush—earn you a starring role in Cirque du Sex, and possibly win you the gymnastic gold medal for Best in Show for Floor. The dismount alone is worthy of a silver!

Regardless of the oral sex positions you chose during outercourse, end with your head at the edge or hanging slightly off the edge of the bed. Do not have his penis in your mouth, when he raises you into the Standing 69! If he were to slip or if you were to get startled, it would be the wrong time for you to have an involuntary muscle spasm in your jaw.

Reach forward, bending at the knee, and scoop your hands behind her lower back. The bull’s-eye for your nose or mouth is her navel. Wrap your arms around her waist as though you were trying to hug the lower portion of her spine.

“The Standing 69—where one partner holds the other upside down, so that each person’s mouth is on the other’s genitals—is perhaps one of the most difficult acts to perform—second to oral sex while parachuting.”

POSITION 1

POSITION 1

Curl your legs up, as though you were doing a reverse crunch at the gym. Bend your knees over his shoulders, hold them straight up, or point your feet back; it all depends on your height in relation to his genitals.

Shift your arms from a safety-belt grip so you are supporting her back in two locations: one on her upper spine and one on her lower back. I recommend that you have your dominant hand closest to your face and your non-dominant hand beneath that one.

From your new position, you can reach around to finger his rectum, play with his balls, run your hands up and down his legs, or just hold on for dear life.