Mated in Mist (16 page)

Bram had never seen anything like it. Ryder had jumped through fire, literally, for the woman he claimed was not his mate. He might want to deny it, but Ryder would have to face the truth eventually. Bram knew how that felt far too well.

He’d known for too long that the woman in front of him was his. His wolf had wanted to claim her ever since they’d both been old enough to understand the full consequences and joy of mating. He knew her wolf wanted him, as well. And when he and Charlotte had fallen for each other and subsequently into bed to cement their bond, their worlds had shattered.

The bond never came, and now Bram was left alone and broken. He’d never known of a couple who’d gotten it wrong like they had. Perhaps it was just heavy attraction between them, but he wasn’t sure that was the case. All he did know was that every day he and Charlotte remained as close as they were, they were only delaying the inevitable.

They weren’t mates.

Or they were, but without a bond, which was just the same in the long run.

“Bram,” she whispered.

He let her go before sighing. “I’m fine, Charlotte. Leave me alone for a bit, okay? I just need to think.”

“Think about what?” she asked.

He met her gaze and pulled himself back from running a hand through her dark hair. “Just go.”

She pressed her lips together then backed up before turning away. He closed his eyes once she’d let the door close behind her. Damn it.

He wasn’t enough for her. Something was missing, and he didn’t know what, but there had to be an answer. And having them side by side in pain wasn’t it.

I’m not enough
, he repeated to himself.

He would never be enough.

As always.

Leah closed her eyes, willing her body to stop shaking. She’d been back at home—Ryder’s home—for almost half an hour now, and yet she couldn’t make her body stop shaking like a damn leaf. She was safe. Ryder was safe. The rest of the Pack members were safe. The men who’d taken her were now in custody of the human police. Until the laws changed, she was still a citizen—witch or no—and the Humans First group had kidnapped her. The fact that Ryder and the others had been in control enough to let the human authorities take over, rather than doing what they wanted and taking out the price in the others’ flesh, told her how much each step cost.

The drugs were out of her system thanks to the water they’d given her during the car ride back to the den. She’d been able to at least heal that part of her quickly. She still needed to work on the few cuts and abrasions on her skin, as well as the burns on her shins.

She shuddered a little more violently this time.

Goddess, she’d almost been burned at the stake. It was like the Middle Ages all over again. She’d heard horror stories growing up, as well as seen it done in movies, but she’d never thought in a million years that it would happen to her.

And yet, her people were dying from it because of the Humans First group. The authorities were doing their best, but in all reality, she knew she couldn’t trust them fully. Not when the lines of the law were blurring for some. Just because the police had said they would take care of it, this time, didn’t mean they would the next. It was up to each individual officer and detective, and with the way the world was changing, she wasn’t sure she could put her faith in them.

Leah licked her lips and winced at the taste of smoke on them. She wasn’t sure she’d ever look at a campfire or s’mores the same way again. If she hadn’t been drugged, she would have probably been able to douse the fire and save herself, but her captors had rendered her unable. It killed her that she’d been so defenseless. She hadn’t reacted quickly enough during the chaos of the bombings and that had cost her.

It could have cost her Ryder.

She cursed herself at the thought. He’d risked his life for her, and yet he still didn’t want her as his mate. And the fact that she’d even thought that last part just told her how off she was. She shouldn’t be worrying about mating and bonds while there were real issues at hand. Mating could take a back seat, along with her emotions.

First, she needed to stop shaking. Then she needed to make sure Ryder was okay. After that, she could deal with the fact that she hadn’t been able to defend herself. Emotions could wait.

Forever if it were up to her.

As soon as they’d walked into Ryder’s home—her safely in his arms—he set her on her bed. It didn’t matter that he was hurt more than she was; he apparently
had
to carry her. She’d let him because she’d still been working the drugs out of her system, but now she was feeling much better and wanted to see if he was okay.

Gingerly, she pushed herself to her feet and let out a breath. It only hurt a little, and once she took a bath, she’d be back to her normal self. While it annoyed her that she couldn’t heal others in the same fashion, at least her magic could keep her somewhat whole.

She padded down the hallway toward the living room where she could hear voices. Walker had his hands over the large burns on Ryder’s side and stomach, his eyes closed and his mouth murmuring chants.

She put her hand over her mouth to hold back a gasp. She’d been so drugged out she hadn’t seen the extent of Ryder’s injuries. And since Walker was Healing them already, what she saw wasn’t even the worst of it.

Ryder looked up as she entered but didn’t say anything. Instead, he let his gaze trail down her body and back up again before settling on her eyes.

“You still have cuts and burns,” he said finally, his voice a bit raspy.

“I’m going to have to Heal your throat, too, brother. You have a bit of smoke inhalation.” Walker shook his head but went back to work.

Leah had started toward the two of them before she thought better of it. She cupped Ryder’s face with her hands since it was one of the only places where he didn’t have cuts or burns.

“Never do that again, Ryder Brentwood. Your family almost lost you because you literally jumped through fire.”

“You were going to die if I didn’t,” he growled, then let out a cough.

She pulled back before running her knuckles down his cheek. “You can’t die for me, Ryder. You can’t.”

“I didn’t die. Walker will Heal me, and we’ll get you in the bath so you’re healed, as well. Everything will be fine.”

It wouldn’t and she knew that. They were getting too close, letting emotions rule while they both knew they had to step back. They weren’t going to cement the bond, and every day she stayed with him, it would only make it that much harder to walk away. And yet she couldn’t leave. Not yet. She was torturing herself, but she couldn’t help it.

“I’m going to be about twenty minutes more,” Walker said casually. “Leah, do you mind getting us each a glass of water? I know we could use something stronger, but water should do.”

Grateful for Walker’s interruption, she gave him a nod then made her way back to the kitchen. She’d stopped shaking the moment she saw Ryder because then it wasn’t about her. It was about the man who’d risked his life for her. He’d saved her, and she didn’t know how to repay him. He and the Talons had saved her more than once now. She would be forever in their debt.

Roland would know what to do.

She stopped what she was doing and blinked. She hadn’t thought of her twin in a few days, though she knew he’d been in the back of her mind no matter what. It hurt to think that he wouldn’t be there to hear about what had happened. It hurt more that he wouldn’t be able to take a stand against not only Humans First but the Coven, as well. He had always been better with words than her.

She’d told herself when she left his grave that she wouldn’t allow Roland’s death to rule her life. But it still ached that she didn’t have him anymore. And now, Ryder had almost died, as well. It didn’t matter how many times she told herself that they wouldn’t be good for each other and that they would never mate; she knew if she’d lost him, she would have broken, shattered into a million pieces.

There was a reason the goddess had designed them to be optional mates, there would always be a connection because of it…until Ryder found another mate she supposed. But he’d told her he would
never
take a mate. However, no matter how hard she tried not to, she could only worry that maybe he’d meant that he would never take
her
as a mate. Maybe the next one would be the one that made him break his internal vow, the woman he’d want to bond with for eternity.

She didn’t like thinking she wasn’t good enough, but she couldn’t help it.

She hadn’t been good enough for the humans, hadn’t been good enough for the Coven. It was only fitting that she wasn’t good enough to mate the Heir of the Talon Pack.

Leah might tell herself that she didn’t want to mate with him because of the target she would put on his back, but now that she’d seen how the Pack worked, she knew differently. He would always be a target. For as long as there was the potential for war, he would always be in danger. Hell, he’d almost died for her, and they hadn’t even mated.

It would be good for everyone if she left and never came back.

And yet, she knew she couldn’t do that.

There had to be something wrong with her with the way she wanted him but he didn’t want her, but she’d deal with that. And since she’d given her word to help the Pack, she would do that. She’d take it seriously and learn to protect herself and others. She had to work past the fear that had put Roland and her at risk in the cave and find a way to make the changes for herself. It was all she could do.

She was a witch; she had the power.

She’d prove it.

She carried all three glasses back without a tray and set them on the coffee table once she made it into the living room. She handed Ryder his and set a soft kiss on his lips. She’d needed to say her thanks and, frankly, needed to touch him. There was no going back from what had happened, no hiding from his family. Not with how he’d apparently reacted when he’d heard she was gone. Brandon had let a few things slip in the SUV, and Ryder hadn’t been pleased. Yet she didn’t care that Ryder hadn’t wanted her to know he cared about her. Hadn’t wanted her to know that he had been frantic with worry searching for her.

The sheer fact that he’d jumped on the burning pile to save her from the stake told her that much. The rest was just reassurance.

Instead of commenting on her rapid thoughts, she held out a glass to Walker. The Healer triplet took the glass and smiled. He nodded in thanks and chugged down the water quickly, sighing after he’d finished.

“Would you like some more? I know it takes a lot of energy to Heal. How about some food?”

Walker shook his head. “I’m almost done. I’ll head home and get some protein before crashing. No need to worry about me, Leah. I’ve been at this for a long while. I can take care of myself.”

From the strain in his eyes, she wasn’t sure that was exactly the case. She couldn’t get a bead on the Healer. One minute he was the laid-back triplet with a nice drawl, the next, he barked orders and hid secrets within his gaze. He wasn’t the Brentwood she should be trying to figure out, however. That honor went to the other wolf in the room.

“If you change your mind, let me know. I don’t want you passing out on the way to your house.” She picked up her glass and took a deep drink, missing the taste. She’d already had three glasses since being saved, and yet, she couldn’t get enough. Her magic was almost at full capacity—where she would do her best to keep it. She wouldn’t be caught unawares again. She wasn’t some helpless damsel, and she’d be damned if she acted like it once more.

She watched in silence as Walker finished his work. She’d seen her own healing at work, of course, but seeing a true Healer help those in need was a thing of beauty. By the time Walker was through, she was ready for a long bath…and perhaps a bit more with Ryder. She knew she was an idiot to want him like she did, knowing there was no future for them, but not every intimate moment had to lead to mating and children. It could just lead to emotional healing.

Again, if she kept telling herself that, it would be true. It had to be.

When Walker left, she closed the door behind him and locked it. The keypad and hand scanner would allow him back in since Ryder had programmed his whole family with the right protocols, but they also had a mechanical lock in case the former became corrupted.

“You need to take a bath,” Ryder said from behind her. She turned and let out a little sigh. She loved the way he looked without a shirt. She loved the way he looked period. Walker had Healed his wounds, but the new skin was still a tad pink. Plus, he still had dried blood on him that would need to be washed off.

“Bathe with me?”

His eyes glowed gold for a moment before he regained control of his wolf. “Let me shower while you start your soak. You already washed off the dirt and blood on your skin, but I haven’t.” He paused, and she held her breath. “Then I’ll join you.”

He held out a hand, and she took it as they made their way to his large bathroom in silence. His thumb brushed along her skin, and she leaned in to him when they reached the glory that was his bathroom. Seriously, she could have easily—and happily—lived in his bathroom alone.

“I can get the bath ready myself if you want to shower,” she said, as he bent down over the taps.

He stood again and took her face in his hands. “Okay, little witch.” He let out a shuddered breath. “I almost lost you, Leah.”

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then opened them again. When she leaned toward him and pressed her lips to his, he shook.

“Shower, Ryder. I’m okay. You’re okay. We’re alive. Remember that.”

He kissed her a little harder then let her go. She had to take a few moments to compose herself so she didn’t break down in tears, or worse, strip off his jeans herself and make love to him hard against the wall.

When she felt steady enough, she turned on the taps to as hot as they both could take it and added a few bath salts. While she normally liked her water pure and simple, both of them had been through a lot and a little bit of pampering couldn’t hurt. Plus, she liked the scent of the salts. So much better than burnt wood and smoke.