Authors: Carrie Ann Ryan
Tags: #Romance, #Paranormal, #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Fantasy, #Paranormal & Urban, #Werewolves & Shifters, #Witches & Wizards
They sat in Walker’s living room since his home was attached to the clinic. They hadn’t called for the entire family to watch the footage, as they could easily watch at home, and there would be a meeting later to discuss it anyway. However, Brandon, Gideon, Brie, Walker, Leah and himself remained to watch the world change yet again.
Leah sat next to him, as his wolf wouldn’t let any other arrangement work. He’d tried to keep a respectable distance between them, but then Brandon had sat on the other side of Leah, and Ryder had not so subtlety pressed his leg into hers. The others had noticed, of course, but he’d noticed the way her shoulders had lowered at his touch.
Whatever was happening between them wasn’t one-sided, it seemed.
And that would only make things that much harder when the time came to do what must be done.
“As you can see, witches are real,” the newscaster was saying, bringing Ryder back to the present. “No word from their official leaders but the evidence cannot be ignored. We don’t know much regarding who these two witches are or why they are trying to drown humans—”
“That’s not what happened. They were trying to kill us.” Leah kept shaking her head, her hands in her lap.
On the screen, Roland used his magic to create a wave that smashed the humans into the rocks. Careful editing had made it look like Roland was the one starting the encounter, rather than the other way around. The screen changed to show Leah on the ground, her hand out as she used magic, as well. Though he couldn’t tell exactly what kind of spell she was doing, the effect of the editing was the same. It looked as if she and Roland were causing harm to humans with no cause.
It wasn’t good. Wasn’t good at all.
Ryder threw caution to the wind and put his arm around Leah’s shoulders. She immediately sank into his hold. “We know that. The media twists what it doesn’t understand. And sometimes it deliberately twists what it does.”
The anchor continued her news story. “We also have unconfirmed reports that the witches are in talks with the wolves. As you know, the wolves were forced to come out into the public eye in a shocking way. Since then, there have been numerous reports of violence on both sides. The public is scared, and Washington has issued statements, but no action has been taken on the wolf problem. No word yet how the witch problem will factor into this matter.”
Gideon growled loudly, then turned off the screen as the news switched to the weather broadcast.
“What have we done?” Leah whispered, her gaze on her clasped hands. “The Coven will want my head for this.” She murmured something so low that even his wolf ears didn’t catch it. He’d have asked her what she said, but he wanted to wait until they were alone.
And because he’d been an idiot and said she could stay with him, they would be alone. Often. He, apparently, had a need for pain and tension, because having her stay with him and his wolf without being able to do anything about it would be akin to torture.
“We’ll figure it out,” Brie said softly from the other sofa. She sat next to her mate with Walker on her other side. Both men had subtle looks of doubt on their faces, and Ryder hoped Leah couldn’t read that.
Gideon ran a hand over his face. “We need to meet with the Coven.”
Brandon cleared his throat, a frown on his face. “We have a meeting in four days. It’s our first one with the Redwood and Talon group.”
“I should be there,” Gideon added.
Ryder shook his head. “No, you shouldn’t. Remember, they’re the ones that
summoned
you. We can’t let you show up as Alpha and make them think that is an acceptable way to act toward wolves. While we’re on the verge of war and change with the humans, we can’t forget that we’re in a political dance with the Coven, as well.”
Gideon let out a breath. “I hate that. But that’s why we have an Heir,” he said with a snort. “You’ll be my voice?”
Ryder met his brother’s, his Alpha’s, gaze. “Always.” Always the Alpha’s voice. Never his own. That was his duty as Heir.
You’re nothing. You’ll fuck it up like everything. The witches will war. The humans will revolt. You’ll drown in the blood of your people like the bastard pup you are.
Again, he ignored the voice. He had to if he wanted to survive.
But do you want to survive? Wouldn’t it be easier if you let it all go? They don’t need you. They never did.
Leah put her hand on his knee and he looked down into her dark blue eyes. “Ryder?”
He took a deep breath and tried to look normal. It was how he’d made it this long. It was how he would now.
“We’ll meet with the Coven and try to come up with a plan,” Ryder said finally. “The witches are in the public eye now, and as you can see, they’re lumping them together with us. We don’t know what Washington’s plan is, but we heard what the Senator said in his broadcast, remember? He told the humans to stand together on the other side of the invisible line we hadn’t wanted to form. He
made
it us against them. We need to keep informed. None of us want bloodshed, and to try and prevent that, we’ll need to ensure that we’re communicating with the others.”
Gideon nodded and ran a hand through his beard before tangling his fingers with Brie’s. “Parker is out with the other Packs around the country. We’re staying in communication with them, but it’s hard to keep everyone’s priorities in line with so much history.”
Parker was a Redwood wolf who had been born a Talon wolf and was now on a journey to each Pack around the country. It might have been easier to meet along digital lines with each Alpha, but centuries of tradition had to be accounted for. The Brentwoods themselves were each over a century old and had a certain way of doing things. He and his family may have acclimated to the changing of the times far easier than most, but not all wolves had. Eventually, each Alpha would have to meet to come up with a joint plan, as
every
wolf was part of this, not just the Talons and Redwoods. Though because of where the Unveiling had occurred, it was the Talons and Redwoods that were in the public eye. The other Packs were still in hiding, for now, but Ryder knew that wouldn’t be for long. There was only so much magic and warding available before those looking for the supernatural in earnest found it.
“We’re not going to figure it all out sitting in Walker’s living room,” Brie said softly. “It’s not as easy as making a plan on our own and trying to stick to it. We don’t know what the humans have planned, and we don’t know what the witches truly want.” She met Leah’s gaze. “We’ll try to find out, though. You said you weren’t theirs; so you can be ours for as long as you need to be.”
Ryder swallowed hard at Brie’s open nature. If Leah were to remain, it would make it that much harder to push her away. He
couldn’t
mate her, no matter what fate said. And he knew the only way to ensure Leah was safe was for him to tell her everything. Perhaps not everything, but enough so she knew there would be no future between them.
It was the only way.
Even if it hurt.
And again, he needed to get his head out of his ass and stop worrying about his own problems. There were wars, meetings, plans, people’s lives, and other worries to focus on. Not his own doomed future.
“I…thank you,” Leah whispered. “I’m not usually this…frazzled? I guess that’s the word for it.”
“You were just shot and have been through a horrible ordeal,” Brie said softly. “You’re allowed to be frazzled.”
Ryder’s wolf scraped at him again, and this time, he knew he’d pushed the wolf too far. He’d have to get through the next steps with Leah, and then he’d go on a run. He needed to let his wolf out, let his wolf breathe. He might have control, but it was on a weathered leash.
“I think it’s time I show Leah where she’ll be staying for as long as she needs,” Ryder blurted. “It’s been a long day.”
Brie nodded at him with understanding—maybe a little too much understanding. As much as Ryder loved the fact that his family was close, sometimes, they saw more than he wanted them to. Add in the fact that they were wolves and there was no hiding scents and muttered curses… Ryder knew it was time to go.
“We’ll see you soon,” Brie said. “Do you need anything to eat? We can send something over.”
Ryder shook his head as he stood, bringing Leah with him. “I have provisions, but thank you, little sister.” He winked at her, though he didn’t feel as jovial as he tried to appear. His head hurt, his heart hurt, and frankly, his soul hurt. And he hadn’t done anything to warrant it. Yet.
He nodded at his brothers as Leah tucked her hand into his. He didn’t freeze, but it was close. They’d sat together, he’d held her to his side, and yet, with her tiny hand in his, his heart stopped. Just a simple touch, one that would mean nothing to some, made his wolf hope for more. But he knew it wouldn’t happen. Again, enough with that.
As he turned with his hand over Leah’s, Brandon took a step forward. The warmth of Brandon’s powers, so inherent to his brother that Ryder knew sometimes Brandon couldn’t control it—even if he wanted to—brushed his skin.
Brandon could take in deep emotions, wash away part of the sadness, help the happiness grow, or entrench himself in one’s agony so the sufferer wasn’t alone. Yet, each time, it came with a price.
A price Ryder wasn’t willing to pay. Nor would he let Brandon pay it, as his little brother always had in the past. Holding the weight of the emotions of a Pack in turmoil was more than one wolf could take. Yet Brandon was forced to do it. Just as Ryder was forced to speak for his Alpha, his Pack, and never for himself.
Leah wasn’t Pack, so she wouldn’t feel what Brandon was trying to do, but Ryder did.
“Stop.”
One word, and Brandon’s face went blank. Ryder didn’t know what it meant, but he didn’t have the energy to deal. Instead, he squeezed Leah’s hand and led her outside and in the direction of his place. He picked up her small bag on the way, knowing it was most likely all she had in the world. While he knew his life wasn’t perfect, at least he had his family and Pack to lean on in times of sorrow.
Leah had no one.
No one but him.
And yet he couldn’t give her what she needed.
“I can’t believe the world knows,” Leah said softly as they walked through the den toward his place. He wasn’t far from Walker’s so they didn’t need to drive, but it was long enough that the cooling weather relieved his too-warm skin.
“It came as a bit of a shock when we were outed, as well,” Ryder replied. “Though I don’t know how much longer we could have realistically stayed hidden.”
“I know. Everyone is watched. The world is under a digital microscope, and yet the moon goddess protected all of us for centuries. It seems feeble that people with a different agenda were the ones to reveal us.”
He squeezed her hand again; aware that the Packmates who watched them walk past were curious. Ryder didn’t normally walk with a woman down the center of the den. He wasn’t a monk, but it had been a while since he’d paid any attention to a member of the opposite sex. Not only did he have to be careful because of his rank in the Pack and the fact that he’d never wanted his wolf to find his mate, but he also had the voices to battle.
Things weren’t always as clear as some would like.
His wolf howled at him, wanting to claim Leah and call it a day. Ryder wanted to simultaneously run away and bring her into his arms. If things were going to work out, if he were going to help her survive and figure out the witch problem, he needed to lay out the issues. He needed to tell her what his wolf wanted, and at least part of
why
they couldn’t be together.
Hell.
He opened his front door and let her enter first. As he closed the door behind him, he ignored the curious glances aimed his way from the people outside. He’d deal with those later.
They made their way into the kitchen, and he pulled out a couple of glasses for water. He’d need to feed them eventually, and probably show her around, but first, he needed to figure out what to do with his hands.
“I don’t know how I ended up here.” Leah let out a frustrated breath. “I feel like I’m walking through a fog and I can’t find my way out. One minute, I’m running for my life; the next, I’m somehow living with a man I don’t know.” She met Ryder’s gaze. “Why am I here, Ryder? Why do I feel this pull to you? Is it magic? Because it’s not my magic.”
Ryder ran a hand through his hair. There was only one way to do this. Either way, it would hurt, but putting it out there clear and concise would make it easier. At least, he hoped.
“We’re mates.”
Her eyes widened fractionally. “I had guessed that.” She tilted her head, looking so much like a wolf it surprised him. “And yet, you don’t sound happy about it.”
She’d guessed? Well, he supposed that made sense. Witches grew up learning the stories of mates and wolves.
“The moon goddess blessed wolves with the ability to form a mating bond. With that bond comes an understanding of true harmony. Your soul will literally be touching another through that bond. Sometimes, the mating urge comes as quick as an intake of breath and it’s mating at first sight. Sometimes, it takes years for the wolf to trust enough to sense an ability to mate. Through a mating bond comes connection…but not love. That comes from the human half.”
She shook her head then leaned against the counter. “So you’re saying your wolf wants me.” She met his gaze. “But the human half doesn’t.”
His chest ached, but he didn’t nod, nor did he shake his head. “I didn’t say that.”
“No, but you’re not truly explaining yourself either. I don’t know you, Ryder. And you don’t know me. It’s okay that you don’t love me. I mean, I think this is our first true conversation without anyone around. It’s not like we’re in a fairy tale with hearts and stars in our eyes. I don’t love you. I don’t even know you.”
He didn’t know why that annoyed him, but he wasn’t going to think about it. He needed to get his point across and finish his explanation.
“In a wolf’s long lifetime, they can find more than one potential mate. But never once the bond is in place. So, if for some reason, the first person they find doesn’t work out or they find themselves friends rather than mates, they can find true mates later. Or, if the worst happens and a mate dies, they can mate again.” He thought of the darkness in another’s eyes, thought of the secrets that person held, but pushed that away. Those secrets would be revealed later. They had to, or that person would fade away into an eternity of pain.