Max (A Carter Brother series Book 4) (19 page)

“What the fuck did you do?’’ I roar, rushing into the front room. Lee, Mason’s mate from school; Adam; Mason’s friend from work; Malik; Mason; Maverick; and the fucking culprit, Myles, all laugh when they see me.

I’m literally naked: a white towel around my waist and I’m covered in blue fucking dye from taking a shower. I’m supposed to look slick tonight, not like a blue fucking crayon.

“Payback’s a bitch,’’ Myles chuckles. He looks fucking smug sitting there in his chair, all high and mighty.

“Don’t look so blue,’’ Mason says sympathetically, causing everyone to crack up.

“Not fucking funny,’’ I growl. “I’m fucking blue. My skin, my eyebrows, my HAIR,’’ I snap at Myles, wondering if I have enough time before the taxi gets here to kick his ass too.

“Even your...’’ Mav asks, his eyes looking at my dick. I take a step forward, ready to lunge, but Mason slaps his hand down on my shoulder stopping me. I ignore his laughter and turn to my evil twin.

“How the fuck did you do this?’’ I growl, secretly proud he could come up with something as classic as this.

“I put a blue dye bomb in your shower wash,’’ he states smugly.

No fucking way he came up with that on his own. He had to have had outside help. Kayla... Kayla, the sneaky little bitch. She did this. I’ll get her back.

“Why would you do this tonight? I have to go out now looking like Papa fucking Smurf,’’ I bite out. From the look on his face, this was his plan all along. To humiliate me in front of everyone; including Lake. I’ll bet any money that he’s been sitting on the whole blue dye goldmine for weeks too, waiting for this very moment to use it.

It’s Mason’s stag party tonight and pranks were meant to be played on him. Not fucking me.

I’d usually laugh this shit off; make a bigger joke out of it, but not tonight. Tonight I wanted to impress Lake, get her to actually agree to go out with me. Now she’s never going to take me seriously. Not looking like this. Just thinking about her is enough to drive me crazy and my dick to twitch under my towel. I keep thinking about her smell, the way she felt, and if it wasn’t for the fact I needed to be out tonight, I’d be over there and sinking myself deep inside her.

“You need to chill out,’’ Maverick tells me, his lips twitching. I shoot him an angry glare and grab the bags from my earlier shopping encounter. Yeah, this dude went fucking shopping. I grab a fresh pair of boxers, a clean pair of socks and put them on under the towel.

When I grab the new jeans I bought for tonight, another thing to impress Lake with, I pull out the next bag, a big grin on my face.

“Malik, Myles, Mav and I have all got something planned for you tonight. You won’t know what until it’s time. I’m up first,’’ I grin and if I’m not mistaken, Mason loses some of the colour on his face. If only he knew mine was the easiest out of what everyone has planned.

I grab the first shirt, which is Mason’s and laugh when he groans, dropping his head back and looking to the ceiling.

“Please tell me that that’s not for tonight,’’ he pleads.

“Oh no,
this
is for tonight, my brother,’’ I grin. “For tonight, you are Clitoris Love-Bandit.’’

Everyone whoops and cat whistles but Mason just groans, ripping the new shirt he bought for tonight off to put on the black tee I’ve had done.

“What the fuck?’’ Mase glares when he sees the picture of a ball and chain on the front. We just laugh, shrugging our shoulders.

“Maverick, you’re Judge Lickwood,’’ I tell him, handing him his tee. “Myles, you’re Lanky Chaos,’’ I laugh, handing him his. These shirts really are the shit. “Malik, you’re Corporal Mangina. What are the chances?’’ I grin, throwing his over to him. He narrows his eyes on me, but sighs and joins in, putting the tee on. “Lee, you’re Comrade Dickless. Adam, you’re Durex Manlove and I’m Senator Pantstain,’’ I laugh, not caring how ridiculous we’ll all look. I couldn’t think of nicknames for everyone; I’m not that bright. Mine kind of sucks, yet, it’s actually beginning to grow on me. I would have preferred Fully Loaded, Large Wood, or Well Hung, but hey, can’t win them all.

“Where the fuck did you get these?’’ Mason laughs, looking at everyone’s shirts with amusement.

“I found a website that sells them. All I had to do was enter your names and it automatically paired you each with a nickname. It was mint. I had to go collect them this morning; I didn’t want to risk them not being delivered on time.’’

“At least I won’t end up in Amsterdam in a hotel, chained to the bed,’’ Mason grins.

“It’s
WHY
I got the t-shirts. Mav knocked down every idea I planned,’’ I huff, still pissed off at my brother.

“They’re pretty cool,’’ Adam grins. He would, his name is: Durex Manlove. If his shirt doesn’t get the ginger dude laid tonight, nothing will. The poor guy is not a lady’s man at all.

“You would say that,’’ Lee laughs, shaking his head at Adam.

“Really, we just wanted you to look like a dick,’’ I add laughing.

“I can’t believe you’re going to make me wear this,’’ Mason groans and we all laugh at his expense. “If Denny leaves my ass because of this ball and chain, I’m holding you responsible,’’ he warns, pointing his damn finger at me.

I chomp down, growling, pretending to take a bite out of his finger before laughing. I hand out another shot to everyone and finish getting ready. I quickly shove some wax in my hair, groaning when it does nothing different. In the end I leave it looking messy. I don’t really give a shit what my hair looks like to be fair.

After spraying on some Hugo Boss, I sit down on the sofa, tying my shoes up.

“Where are we going first? Are the girls leaving soon?’’ Mason asks and Malik curses at something he sees through the front room window.

“I could fucking kill her,’’ he snaps and moves to the front door like lightning.

Adam and Lee turn to each other, looking confused. “Harlow,’’ we all state at the same time. They laugh, nodding their heads as a horn blares from outside.

“That would be the taxi,’’ Maverick grins and we all grab our wallets and phones before heading outside.

“Did you see the girls?’’ I ask Malik when he walks down the path. We jump in the back of the cab and he waits until he’s in his seat before answering.

“Nah, just Harlow. She was carrying fucking bags full of shit. I didn’t even ask what was in there. If it’s the outfit that I saw on her computer not long ago, though, I’m going to blow a fuse,’’ he mutters, not looking happy.

“What outfits?’’ I ask, over-eagerly and he smirks knowingly. “Shut up,’’ I warn him before he can open his mouth.

“You don’t want to know,’’ he answers me before resuming conversation with everyone else. I sit back in my seat and hope to Christ Lake isn’t wearing anything skimpy, or worse, got her hair down. My body can only hold off for so long when it comes to that girl, but when it comes to her hair... All bets are off. It’s my own personal kryptonite. Every time she has it down I imagine wrapping it around my fist and pulling it back while I fuck her from behind. Don’t hate on me, I’m just a visual person.

We arrive at Links in no time and all jump out of the taxi. The owner, Tim, is good friends with Maverick and is already expecting us. He is the only one, apart from my brothers, Adam, and Lee, that knows what is happening tonight. We’ve not even told the girls. We knew if any of them knew they’d intervene or some shit. Plus, we know Harlow hasn’t got a simple night out planned for Denny either.

“Look at you,’’ Tim laughs when we enter, his eyes on Mason’s shirt. “What will it be, Clitoris Love-Bandit?’’

“Fuck you, Tim,’’ Mason laughs. “And a round of shots and Fosters?’’ Mason asks everyone. We all nod in agreement, not really caring what we drink as long as we end up hammered by the end of the night.

“First round is on the house,’’ Tim grins and smirks our way. He has the first part of tonight’s games hidden behind the bar. Don’t get too excited, our ideas aren’t brilliant, but it’s who you play them with that counts. “Why do you look so blue?’’ Tim asks looking at me and causing everyone to crack up laughing

“Laugh it up, guys. Laugh it up,’’ I groan, keeping the smile on my face.

“You know what I wish I had on CD right now? That blue song. You know: I’m blue da ba de ba die...’’ Tim sings, laughing at the end.

Jesus. It’s going to be endless blue jokes tonight. I shake my head at them all.

“What do you call a guy with a blue dick?’’ Adam asks laughing.

Jesus, he’s one of those who laugh at their own jokes. To be honest, he probably knows more about having a blue dick more than anyone. Poor bloke. May his balls find peace tonight and his dick find Heaven.

“Tell me, I’m dying to hear it,’’ I tell him dryly.

“A tight fisted wanker,’’ he laughs uncontrollably. Everyone joins him but I think it’s more to do with the fact they don’t want him looking like a dick laughing at his own joke than actually finding the joke funny.

“Ha, ha, ha,’’ I choke out and Maverick slaps me upside the head, laughing.

“Play nice.’’

“Okay, I’ll be a good boy,’’ I tell him sarcastically, nodding my head. I’m not that bad. I can be nice. In all seriousness, Adam did just call me a tight fisted wanker, I’m pretty sure that earned retaliation, but hey, I’m a nice guy and leaving it alone.

We all take a seat over at a table in the far corner. I slide in before Maverick, knowing his quest for Mason is up next. We all agreed to let him have a drink and shot before we send him off into the dark streets like some hooker begging for her next meal ticket.

“I can’t believe I let you four plan my stag party,’’ Mason laughs.

“I can’t believe you’re
having
a stag party,’’ I tell him.

Mason laughs, shrugging. He doesn’t care. Everyone thought he was mad when he told them the news. It was only close family that never questioned it. All of us know what he’s been through with Denny and how much they both deserve each other’s happiness.

I may not believe in the whole marriage shit, but I believe in my brother. It also doesn’t hurt he will have a hot chick in his bed for the rest of his life.

Just saying!

“Wait till you see what’s planned next,’’ Malik adds smirking. The fucker wanted to send him out on the river in a little rowing boat to make it look like he was stranded. I voted yes, but Maverick shut us down. Again! Party pooper.

“What do you mean? I thought that we were just having a lads’ night out before heading to V.I.P?’’ Mason says, looking at each of us for answers, none of which he’ll be getting until it’s time.

“We told you that we all had something planned. We are your best men after all,’’ Myles laughs.

I’d laugh and agree with him, but I’m still upset with my twin right now. I tried for ten minutes to get this dye out before realising the shower gel was making it worse. Then I tried just using shampoo to wash it out, but that didn’t work either. When I finally realised I was going to look like a Smurf for the fucking night, one with a skin disorder, because hey, the blue work is patchy, I just gave up and headed downstairs. I knew right away that it was Myles that did it. None of the others would have the balls to go up against me, not when they know I’ll retaliate back much harder.

“You goin’ to be in a shit mood all night?’’ Myles asks when he notices I’m not joining in with the laughter.

“Leave him alone,’’ Maverick tells him and I give Myles a smug look. “You can’t blame Myles for you having blue balls,’’ he says, looking at me. I groan when everyone roars with laughter.

“I’m sure Lake could help you with that...’’ Malik ventures off and I shoot him a glare. Hearing him talk about her like that just makes me want to punch his lights out. She’s not some slag I want to give a quick fuck then fuck off. She’s more. A lot fucking more and I won’t have anyone talk less of her, not even a brother.

“Enough with the twin fit and blue balls. What’s next?’’ Mason asks warily. He looks worried about what we have planned for the night, and he has every right to be normally, but in this case we’ve kept it tame. He’s gotten off pretty lucky if you ask me.

Maverick quickly snatches Mason’s wallet, his keys and his phone.

“Since it’s your last night of freedom, as such, and you can’t wait until you’ve finished your fucking pint to find out, I’ll fill you in. As you know I’m next.

“Before you can continue to join the stag party, you have to go out and round up thirty quid. You can nominate Lee or Adam to help, but only one of them, and no, you can’t pick a brother. Oh, and if you forfeit you have to down ten shots,’’ Mav grins. Mason looks pale as fuck which has me laughing harder.

This night is going to be fucking epic.

“How am I going to raise thirty fucking quid before the night’s completely ended? People are tighter than a virgin around here,’’ he groans.

“Well, we thought we would help you out there. You have to wear this,’’ Lee laughs, walking out from behind the bar where Tim let us store a cardboard notice board that Mason will have to wear over his clothes.

“You have to wear this, and these,’’ Mav grins, handing him the bag of goodies. Inside, Mason pulls out a pink wig, green glasses, red lipstick, and blow up boobs.