Maya And The Tough Guy (26 page)

“Helping me with Ladies’ Night, being all supportive…?”

He didn’t answer. His eye were stone cold, now.

“Taking Mattie to the gym? Playing with Sophie?”

He refused to look at her. “You don’t want me doing these things?” There was tension in his voice, in the way his jaw muscles flexed.

“I just want to make sure you know that those things don’t affect my feelings.”

He let out a bitter laugh that made her jump, just a little.
 

“I just mean that I’m not going to feel obligated—”

She didn’t see it coming. It was like a land-mine. He jumped up, grabbed a water glass off his desk, and hurled it at the wall next to him. He shoved his hands in his hair and made fists. With his eyes squeezed shut, he muttered, “Shit, shit, shit.”

Maya sat there, gulping in air and shaking violently.

He turned to face her, more agony in his eyes than rage. “I don’t get to be friends with your kids?” he shouted at her. “You think I’d use your kids to get you to fuck me? Jesus, what an opinion you have of me, Maya.”

Racking sobs heaved out of her. She wanted to answer him, but she was in a state of panic. Jayce got in her face, his hands on the arms of her chair. “Look at me, goddammit! Stop cowering like you think I’m gonna hurt you. I would never fucking hurt you, Maya. I’ve been your friend all this time. I’ve never wanted anything more than for you to accept my friendship. Well, except for you to love me, but God knows I gave up on that a long time ago.” The door opened. “Fuck off, Janice!” he shouted at her.

“You’re scaring her,” Janice said.
 

Maya let Janice take her arm and pull her out of her chair. Janice led her away and closed the door behind them. He must have thrown something else, because the crash made Maya jump. She collapsed in on herself.

“It’s okay, honey,” Janice said. “You want a drink?”

Maya shook her head. “I’m just going to go home.” Her voice shook. She sounded like she had back when she’d first left Damon. She sounded weak and afraid. Over the course of the past six weeks, being on her own, working for Jayce, her voice had gotten stronger. Now it was shattered again.
 

“You go on, then, and don’t worry about coming in tonight. I’ll find someone to cover for you.”

Maya needed the hours. She needed the money. But she nodded her thanks and then left to go home.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Jayce paced and threw things and fisted his hands in his hair. He needed…needed…

Janice came in, fists on her hips. “What the fuck is the matter with you?”

He grabbed her and kissed her. This was what he needed. “Mmm, Janice, let’s go upstairs.”

“Get off me.”

He kissed her jaw and neck, hoping she’d want him enough to give in, just this once. But she shoved him. Then she slapped him.

It made his ears ring and at last he stood still and quiet. He looked at her. She wasn’t hurt or scared…just pissed. “I’m so sorry,” he said.

“You touch me again, asshole, and I’ll sue.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry, Jan. Really.” And then he felt a sick feeling inside of him and his eyes began to burn. He sat back on the edge of his desk and breathed.

Janice sighed. She came to him, put her arms around him, and stroked his hair. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

“I hardly ever lose my temper like that.”

“What happened?”

He shook his head, anger welling again. “She wanted to make sure I wasn’t making friends with her kids just so she’d sleep with me.”

Janice stepped back. “That bitch! She should know you’d never do something like that.”

He calmed, some. “It’s a legitimate question. I mean, in a way, I always knew I needed to have a relationship with them if I was going to have one with her. But then, I’ve also always known that she doesn’t feel that way about me. I was just happy she was interested enough to be with me at all. I figured when she was done with me, we could at least be friends. I like her kids. Mattie’s got a mean right hook and Sophie gives the best hugs in the universe. God, I’d like a Sophie hug right about now.”

Janice kissed him on the forehead. “You poor thing. Okay. I’ll go upstairs and give you some pity sex if you want.”

He shook his head. “You’re the best, Jan. I was an asshole, though. I don’t deserve pity sex.”

She rubbed his back.
 

“I should find her and apologize.”

“You need to give her some space tonight. She was pretty shook up.”

“She’s never going to trust me again. Never.” On that cheery note, Jayce managed to get himself pulled together in time for work.
 

He was almost glad when Zoey came in to chew him out. It was around five, a little before their evening rush. She stormed in, hit him with her evil eyes, and then hesitated. She detoured to the dartboard where her photo hung, again, and ripped it off. “Whoever keeps doing this is going to pay.” She shoved it in the trash and then headed for Jayce. “She’s been crying for three hours.” This she said in a lowered voice, a consideration she didn’t usually make.

“I’ll do whatever you think I need to do,” he said. “Should I call her? Give her space? What?”

“You should not be an asshole to a woman who’s just getting out of an abusive relationship. She was in shock, Jayce.”

He swallowed and gritted his teeth. He leaned on the counter, his head hung low. “What do I do?”

“I’ll tell her you’re ready to talk anytime. She’ll come to you when she’s ready.”

He nodded. Zoey left. If he knew he was going to get another visitor on that evening, he’d have handed over the bar to Janice and gone home. He was maxed out on anxiety.

But around seven, an older man came in. Jayce glanced at him. Then looked again. The man seemed familiar. He had thinning, graying hair and his skin, drawn tight over his skull, had a yellowed look to it. He might have been average height if he hadn’t been stooped. He looked around furtively before shuffling to the bar.
 

“Whiskey neat,” he said.
 

Without taking his eyes from the man, Jayce poured the whiskey and slid it across the bar. The man reached for it with a shaking hand and drank, swallowing it all in one gulp. He slid the glass back to Jayce, who hadn’t put the bottle down. He poured again. This time the man sipped.
 

“You got a girl working here by the name of Maya Bradley?”

That’s where Jayce knew him. He was Maya’s father. Jayce had seen him around, years ago before he moved away. He was a lot bigger and stronger then. He wondered how the man had managed to deteriorate so drastically. But Jayce had his answer when he drained his glass and started on a third one.
 

“She ain’t in tonight,” Jayce said. His instinct was to immediately hate the guy. But the look of sadness and utter despair on his face was just too much. Maybe the guy just wanted Maya to love him. Jayce could relate to that.

“Don’t suppose you know how to get hold of her.”

Jayce leaned in. “What do you want with her, Mr. Lansing?”

A flash of surprise flitted through his eyes. It faded away quickly. “Just wanted to see her. It’s been a while. How much are you charging me for these drinks?” he asked. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a canvas wallet in which was, max, four dollars in cash.
 

“More than that,” Jayce said, nodding to the meager stash. “Don’t suppose you got a functioning credit card in there?”

Mr. Lansing shook his head sadly. He pushed the half-empty glass back toward Jayce.
 

Jayce studied him for a long moment. He wasn’t the first down-and-out alcoholic who came here not able to pay his tab. Hell, Buck came by every day and paid for maybe half his drinks, ever. Jayce sighed, refilled the glass, and nudged it to Mr. Lansing.

“I don’t take charity, kid,” Lansing said.

Jayce just looked at him, raising a brow. Lansing’s resolve lasted less than ten seconds. He picked up the glass and drank.
 

“I can call her,” Jayce said. “I just pissed her off pretty good, though. She might not come over for me. Doubt she’s gonna come over for you.”

Lansing nodded. “Yeah. I just thought it’d be nice to see the grandkids. Don’t think they even know who I am.”

Jayce debated whether he should share personal information. It was Maya’s business. As much as he considered her the most important part of his life, she didn’t even consider him a close friend. Still, he didn’t want this old guy going looking for her tonight.
 

“You know she’s going through a divorce, right?”

Lansing looked up at him. “No. Didn’t know.”

“She’s got nothing of her own right now. No home. No money.” So don’t go mooching off her, was the unspoken message.
 

“I don’t want her money.”

“You sure about that?”

The man sighed. “She helps me out sometimes. When I’m down on my luck.”

“That what you are, Mr. Lansing? Down on your luck?”

“Yeah, boy, that’s what I am. In case it don’t show on my face, I’m on my way out. Got some kind of liver disease from all this drinking. No way to afford medical treatment. I’d just like to die in a warm bed with a roof over my head rather than in some ditch somewhere.”

“Sounds reasonable.”

“Yeah? I think so, too. But I hate to ask her if she’s going through her own hell. I hate to ask her anyway. Don’t figure I did much good by her.”

Jayce poured more whiskey into the glass.

“You say she don’t got a home?”

“She’s staying with a friend.”

Lansing nodded. “Guess I was hoping she might have a spare room.”

“She doesn’t.”

Jayce watched the guy for a moment. He moved down the bar to check on other customers. Lansing just sat there all night, sipping whiskey he couldn’t pay for. Jayce wasn’t sure what to do with him.
 

At last call, he sat on a barstool next to the old man. “You can crash with me tonight, I got a spare room. I’ll see about Maya tomorrow, see if she wants to talk to you. After that, we’ll go from there.”

“I don’t take—“

“Charity? Yeah, well I don’t take bullshit. Unless you got somewhere else to go, the room’s yours.”

Lansing nodded and Jayce showed him the way upstairs.
 

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Maya made her way to the gym the next morning. She knew he would be there. She hoped he wouldn’t, but she knew he would.

Sure enough, he was beating the living shit out his punching bag. Maya stood in the doorway and watched. She wasn’t afraid of him, not even a little bit. He had more anger in him than she had originally thought, but he wouldn’t hurt her.
 

Suddenly he stopped, straightened, and turned. His arms, bared in his sleeveless tee, were slick with sweat. “Maya,” he said, like a breath.

She smiled sadly. “I wanted to apologize.”
 

He glanced around. There were some other guys in the gym. He jogged toward her. “Come on. There’s an office back here.” He led her off to the side and into an office. Norris was there behind the desk. “Out,” Jayce said.

Norris obeyed. He was eating a bagel. He stuffed the last bite into his mouth and left. There was a ratty sofa pushed against the wall. Jayce took her hands and sat with her. “Why the hell are you apologizing to me? My God, Maya.”

“I insulted you,” she said. “You’ve been nothing but good to me and my family. I had no reason to question your motives.”

“Of course you did. You don’t know me. Not really. I wish you did. But you don’t.”
 

She studied his dark eyes. “I do know you. But Jayce?”

He frowned, his eyes locked on hers.

“It’s not okay for you to yell at me. Or throw things. That’s not okay with me.”

He nodded. Above all, he regretted that. “Sometimes I get—” He couldn’t figure out how to finish.
 

“You get what, Jayce?”

He laughed bitterly. “You know, the more I think about it, the more I see how wrong I am for you. I’ve got so much anger in here.” He pounded his fist to his chest. “It kills me that I scared you like that. It’s like, all the time you were acting afraid of me, I realize now you were right to.”

“Did you want to hurt me yesterday?”

“No,” he said without hesitation. “God, I’ve never wanted to hurt you, Maya. Or any woman for that matter. It’s just, I do occasionally lose my temper. You don’t need that in your life.”

“Everyone loses their temper sometimes. I’ve gone behind closed doors and thrown things before. It’s just, if you get mad at me, you need to take your anger away for a while.”

He nodded. “I will. I’m so sorry, Maya.”
 

“Jayce, I think we need to talk about why you got so angry so fast. Why you reacted so big.”

He gave her a blank stare.

“This happens to people when they bottle things up. And I think you haven’t been honest with me or yourself about your feelings for me. I think you’ve been trying to manage me and your feelings and it’s just not working out for you.”

He swallowed and looked away.

“So…will you be honest with me, now? Will you tell me how you feel?”

He let out a little laugh. “Seems like you already know the answer to that.”

Her heart pounded in her chest. “I know…,” she cleared her throat. “I know that when you hold me, you hold me like you’re afraid I’ll disappear at any moment.”

He nodded, leaning forward on his knees.
 

“I know you treat me like I always imagined a husband should treat a wife. You take care of me. You think of me when I’m not around. Just tell me, Jayce.”

He shook his head, a sad smile on his lips. “I’m in love with you, Maya.”

She took in a shaky breath. Her chest tightened. She knew it. But hearing the words was overwhelming. “How long?” she asked.

He stood, paced away, and rubbed his stubbled jaw. “I tell you the answer to that, you’re gonna know what a loser I am.”

“You’re not a loser, Jayce.”

“I’m a pathetic loser. The biggest chump in the history of chumps.”

“Jayce—“

“Why didn’t you call me?”